After discussing some options with a patient's family, I was left even more depressed and deflated. They weren't interested in anything I brought up to them as far as options and decided to go ahead with a long, grueling surgery instead.

I got to my office and was grateful for the silence and the reprieve. Taking a few deep breaths, I sat down at my desk and opened up another file...that one that had been giving me a lot of grief.

She was my former best friend, someone I had looked up to and admired. Her name was Amber and she was the first person who had gotten me interested in hollistic medicine. She was my first patient and a success story..until now.

None of the treatments we'd tried at a clinic outside of town had helped. She was getting worse day by day. Her heart was getting weaker and as much as I tried to give her hope, mine was decreasing.

I closed the file and dropped my head into my hands and cried.

I went to check on a few patients and make rounds before I headed home but I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was really wrong with Saira. She had practically said as much outside the cafeteria. But I knew she also didn't want me to bother her. Still, someone should check on her, I reasoned.

So as I was heading to the lockerroom, to change out of my scrubs, I veered to the left instead and headed for her office. I considered just walking in like I normally would but this time my hand stayed on the door and I listened. I thought I heard her crying but couldn't be sure. I never had really witnessed a moment when Saira wasn't totally put together, totally coolly level-headed. This was disconcerting to say the least.

I took a deep breath, knowing I was probably going to get yelled at, and raised my hand and knocked. "Saira, its Leo. Can we talk for a moment?" I said, through the door.

I heard his voice on the other side of the door and swore to myself. I didn't want him to see me like this, nor did I want to fully admit to him that something was going on.

I quickly grabbed a tissue from my desk and wiped at my eyes and blew my nose before tossing it in the garbage. Standing up, I took a deep breath and turned around to look at myself in the mirror hanging on the wall.

I softly groaned. I looked horrible. My eyes were red and puffy and there would be no hiding that I was crying. Moving over to the door, I stopped a foot away and sighed.

"I'm fine, Leo."

I sigh too and cross my arms, tapping the door frame with my foot. "Okay, you're fine - or you say you are - so why don't you come out of your office and tell me to just go away? If you do and you're convincing, then I swear I'll leave you alone. Otherwise I might stay here in the hall just because I'm a pain in the butt like that ..."

I sigh again. "Look, something is obviously bothering you. If you won't talk to me about it, promise me you'll talk to someone else - maybe Dr. Scorpio- and I'll drop the subject, okay? I'm not as cold and brutish as you would like to think and I swear to you, I am not working any angles here."

"Can't you just respect the fact that maybe I don't want to talk about anything with anything?" I asked him through the door. "I told you I was okay and I'm fine. I don't know what more you want, Leo."

I sighed and moved away from the door, going over to the couch to sit down for a moment.

"Okay I can respect that. If you're sure you don't need to talk - or just unload or something, I'll go," I say.

"I hope whatever's on your mind works itself out." I turn and start walking away.

"Wait..."

I called out on a sigh and got up from the couch. I wiped at my eyes again just to make sure there were no leftover tears and opened the door slowly.

"Maybe you could tell me about your trip..." I suggested softly.

I pause as she opens the door, take a glance at her still tear-streaked face, and nod. "Sure I can tell you all about my trip," I say, thankful she's willing to extend this olive branch to me, although I know it can't be easy for her. Its good to see that she won't be compeltely alone right now though, bottling everything up inside but I promise myself I won't mention a word of anything about her mood. I'll just stay on topic.

I walk back into her office and lean against the desk. "So good old Bahrain. Where do I begin ...?"



OOC: I have to eat dinner but hope to be back later. You're an extremely awesome roleplayer!

"Maybe at the beginning," I suggested with a small smile as I shut the door and moved back over to the couch.

"I imagine just arriving there would be an experience all on its own."

I appreciated the fact that he didn't comment on my appearance. It was clear that he saw and wanted to say something, but the fact that he didn't really made me feel better.

aww..thanks! as are you.