Slow Me Down, Attn: Shay, Cam

The irony of coming home to Zeltros was never lost on her. She'd spent her youth on the planet eager to get off it and explore the Galaxy at the first chance she got, but once she had, she found herself continually being drawn back. Funny how things worked out. She guessed the Galaxy had some twisted sense of humor after all. Nice to know, that. In fact, that'd probably explain a lot--especially the route her life had taken since she'd first blasted away from her homestead on this piece of rock. So much had changed since then...

So much, and yet nothing at all.

For her, the pleasure planet was much more than its namesake--it was one of the few places left across the stars that she felt like she belonged. Call her sentimental, but there was always a part of her that found relief and comfort in returning. Her homecomings were usually unexciting, rarely did she have anyone coming to greet her, but the planet itself was consoling enough. With its flashing neon signs and 24/7 activity, life thrived here and seemed as though it would always thrive here...with or without her. It was nice to know that there'd forever be somewhere to go where she could feel safe instead of isolated.

That feeling of loneliness had been her constant companion ever since the event with Rigius had happened. When the Galaxy goes out of its way to prove that you can't trust anyone, that love is just a fallacy...well, you learn to listen to it or risk getting hurt over and over again. Elina knew she really had no one to fault but herself for developing attachments. Like the saying went: fool me once, shame on you. But fool me twice, shame on me. She liked to think she knew better than to go getting involved with others...but the decisions of the heart are often made without the consent of the individual. Unfortunately.

It'd been some time since she was last ground-side, and her time spent then had proven worthwhile since she'd picked up a skilled business partner (it was easier to think of him like that instead of what he really was to her at this point). Cameron Muse had proven as useful as he was good-looking--which was hard to find these days in such a shallow Galaxy full of facades. Together, they'd made quite the profit in various ventures. Not to mention, he managed to keep that loneliness at bay...if only for a little while. Temporary or no, Elina'd take what she could get at this point. It was better to play pretend than to face the reality of the situation.

So now they were back where they'd started: on Zeltros.

Cam had gone to take care of some business, and in the meantime Elina had taken the chance to catch up on some sleep. She didn't get much of it these days for various reasons. Curled up in her pilot's seat, she'd just woken up but was already feeling much better--well rested and relaxed. In the background, a female voice on the radio was announcing how wonderful the Zeltros Spa Emporium was in a sultry tone, one meant to ensnare potential customers. She turned it off, not in the mood for cheesy advertisements.

With a languid stretch more befitting of a cat than anything else, she stood and headed towards the galley to scrounge something up to eat. It was likely that there wouldn't be anything decent there so then she could justify going out into the city. Things were very slow right now--slow and boring. Especially without Cam around for entertainment. It was funny how down time always arrived when it was least wanted. Right now, she was thinking she could use some excitement in her life. And Zeltros always had something thrilling to do, that was one of its many pleasing perks.

This post has been edited by Elina Sheri on Sep 15 2008, 09:18 PM

Zeltros was not a planet often frequented by members of the Jedi Order, for multiple reasons. Despite stereotypes to the contrary, most Jedi were not truly 'prudes'; the concept of sexual intercourse was neither morally offensive or physically repulsive to them. However, the common opinion held by most Jedi was that sex proved to be an inappropriate distraction from more important concerns in a person's life. This belief led to many Jedi living celibate lives. Therefore, the site of millions of people all intent on losing themselves in their passions was not an appealing a place to stop over for them.

Being something of an eccentric Jedi, Shay found the background 'resonance' of the pleasure planet less disturbing than many of her kind. While she'd never champion the cause of wholesale abandonment of discipline and reason, she felt that if one was going to indulge in emotional excess, it was better for the emotion in question to be a relatively positive one. The residents and visitors of Zeltros may be lost to their base desires, but at least they were not hurting themselves or others in the process. What little law there was on Zeltros was rather firm on that particular front.

As the Jedi Master strolled through the crowds along the busy spaceport concourse, she made it a point to both compress her presence in the Force as well as firm up her mental shielding against empathic and chemical assault. In her experience, Zeltrons in their native environment rarely meant any harm by their various forms of 'persuasion', but that didn't mean she wanted to become victim to them. So that no one would find her imperviousness to the native charms strange, she cloaked herself in psychic anonymity. That way, all she had to deal with was incidentally passing into the 'blast radius' of a particular individual's pheromones, rather than being targeted specifically by an amorous local. She had a more than sufficient source of sensual pleasure back home, fine thank you!

Shay breathed out a small sigh once she came at last to the docking bay she had been seeking. Finally! The things I will do for my friends, whether they like it or not... A subtle flick of her Force perceptions outward towards the Firefly-class transport assured her the individual she sought was securely ensconced inside. Elina's emotional state was a sedate one, which Shay found reassuring. If she were going to surprise her long absent acquaintance, it would be best to do so when the woman was not already under significant stress.

To the Jedi Master's mild surprise, the controls on the front loading ramp beneath the cockpit weren't secured. Guess she feels safe here. One often does when at home. Shay understood this particular sentiment; her quarters back on Ossus had never been locked either. It's not like one had to worry about crime in a Jedi Temple, and it wasn't as though she'd ever had much there to steal.

A faint smirk curving her painted lips, Shay keyed in the entry sequence and awaited the deployment of the boarding ramp. Another quick check of the ship owner's aura assured the Jedi that Elina was too preoccupied at the moment to have heard a sound. I couldn't have planned it more perfectly if I'd tried. It was a very 'Brin' behavior to barge in on someone unannounced, after all. After making sure the door locked securely behind her--Elina might not be worried about her safety, but Shay couldn't help but look out for her friends--the tall blonde ascended the metal stairwell with silent steps.

Following the 'sound' of the Zeltron's surface emotions to the galley, Master Marin took a moment to examine her former 'business partner' from the open hatchway. Elina appeared to be in good health, thank the Force. While the Jedi hadn't sensed any serious danger directed towards Elina at any point, that didn't mean she thought her precognition to be perfect. Leaning her left shoulder up against the doorframe, 'Brin' crossed her leather-clad arms across the open front of her jacket, partially obscuring the blue silk shift she wore beneath. "My my, aren't we looking domestic?" she quipped in a wry tone to alert the other woman to her presence.

As predicted, there wasn't much in the way of edibles in the kitchen of the Tempest. Only lately had Elina been spending any inordinate amount of time on board the ship, so she'd never really thought it unusual not to have food stocked up. Her space trips were generally short and to the point--and with Cam on board, the duration certainly didn't involve eating. Usually. Still, even with the knowledge on hand, she flitted about the galley, opening this cabinet and that drawer so she could legitimately say that she'd tried to find something to eat and since she could not, was forced to find nutrition elsewhere. Oh, darn.

So distracted was she in effecting her excuse, that she didn't hear the loading bay ramp lower or raise. Nor did she hear the steps up the stairs, or feel any sort of presence coming up behind her. If she had been on the hunt, it was likely her tuned senses would have picked up on either a noise or an emotional output or something. But she wasn't working right now. She was a Zeltron on a break, on her ship, and on her home planet. Trouble was the last thing she expected...especially in the form of a former friend. Guess the Galaxy was just trying to keep her on her proverbial toes.

"My my, aren't we looking domestic?"

Letting out a strangled sound, Elina whirled around to face the intruder. In the process, the empty plastic container in her hand went flying--missing the stranger by a good few feet. Her hand then flew to her chest in a futile attempt to calm her rapidly beating heart; it felt as though a Corellian Panther was about to burst out of it. For a few seconds, as her mind tried to process this bizarre turn of events, the bounty hunter planned her move. If they lunged at her, she could probably sidestep them and grab a knife and...

Her eyes widened upon the realization of just who the person was. They weren't so much an intruder as an uninvited guest, per se. Gaping in surprise, she blinked a few times just to make certain that her imagination wasn't on the fritz and producing hallucinations as a result. One blink. Two blinks. Nope, she was still there. Of all the people to have found on her ship, Brin Trell was probably among the last anticipated. Not that she wasn't happy to see her old friend but...how did she find her? More to the point, what did she want?

"Brin!" she finally managed to get out in a whoosh of exhaled breath. "What are you doing here? I mean, it's good seeing you again but...what are you doing here?" She'd been so taken aback that she couldn't even think of a decent comeback to her friend's initial statement.

The woman looked much the same as she had when Elina had left Corellia. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised at her sudden appearance, especially since she'd left without giving her a proper farewell. In her defense, she'd been in a hurry...and, well, the rest was history that she'd rather not trudge up again if at all possible. As long as Brin didn't bring it up (particularly her motives in leaving in the first place) than neither would she. They would merely be as two reunited friends, right? Maybe she'd just been in the neighborhood and found out that Elina was on Zeltros. Made enough sense. Mostly.

She laughed, releasing her death grip of the countertop (she hadn't even realized that she'd been holding it until then). "You did always know how to make an entrance," she said.

This post has been edited by Elina Sheri on Sep 15 2008, 10:25 PM

'Brin' didn't flinch or so much react as the plastic tub came flying in her general direction, impacting against the bulkhead a few feet to her right. It's not like a blow from the lightweight object would have hurt, after all. Besides, she supposed it would've been something she'd deserved, after scaring Elina like that. Not that Shay felt any measure of guilt about the situation; this was what you got when you made friends with 'Brin Trell' and then took off without warning.

"Brin! What are you doing here? I mean, it's good seeing you again but...what are you doing here?"

Shay didn't have to falsify the amusement in her aura for Elina's benefit this time around. It seemed some of Mac's attitudes were rubbing off on her in the psychic sense, for her to find something darkly funny in another's discomfort. In an ironic twist, Elina's question reminded the Jedi of a similar inquiry made by Mac all the way back on Taanab. "Looking for you," 'Brin' stated matter-of-factly, echoing her response in that previous situation. She could have offered a little white lie, something about how she 'happened to be in the neighborhood', but there was no reason for her to fabricate a falsehood when the truth worked just as well.

Another smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth. "I'm certainly not here for my mental health. Zeltros isn't exactly my kind of place, as I believe I've mentioned before." As the Jedi Master recalled, Elina had taken quite a bit of time on their trip back from Tatooine to try to convince 'Brin' to come play with her on the pleasure planet. Something about the human woman being 'too uptight', if she remembered correctly. Shay had been willing to allow Elina to keep her delusions regarding the Telosian's alleged overabundance of modesty at the time, in order to avoid certain... complications. How far I've come since then.

"You did always know how to make an entrance."

"It's a specialty of mine," the blonde agreed with a broad grin. Pushing off from where she'd been leaning against the hatchway, Shay began sauntering across the room towards her long absent friend. "You really ought to keep your ship locked, y'know. Zeltros is a safe enough world I suppose, but all it takes is one shady character to ruin your day." Indeed, anyone with ill intentions towards Elina could have snuck in here instead of the Jedi Master, a fact which gave Shay a small amount of disquiet. "I know I'm not your mother or your keeper, but still..."

Hopping up onto the corner of the galley island, 'Brin' fixed the Zeltron with a considering look. "Someone forgot to leave a note." Amber eyes bored intently through Elina's outward defenses, even has her voice remained steady and reasonable. "I thought about going after you right away, that you might be in some kind of trouble. But from what I was able to pick up about your movements... you just didn't want to be found. More than that, you'd gone back to your old tricks, so to speak." Shay allowed several beats to pass in silence. "What the kriff, Elina?"

"Looking for you."

Naturally. Elina had figured that something like this would have cropped up sooner or later. It was only her own denial that kept on assuring her that it would be later, a lot later. Part of her inherent nature to run away from problems, most likely. Why face something unpleasant when one could just get away from it by traveling a few parsecs--or more--and avoid it altogether? The Zeltron enjoyed a good challenge, but confrontation with people she cared about did not fall under such a category. No, she'd label that more as a unwanted problem. One could look into the face of a stranger, an enemy, and screw them over...but it wasn't as easy doing that to a friend, someone you loved.

"That right?" Elina replied, trying to build an emotional wall as fast as she could. After having no real reason for a facade for the past few months, it was strange to dawn the old mask of indifference again. "Well, congratulations, you found me."

"I'm certainly not here for my mental health. Zeltros isn't exactly my kind of place, as I believe I've mentioned before."

Though she was on guard now, she couldn't help the twinkle of amusement in her eyes. "Such a shame," she said with a sly grin. "Because I'm sure you'd have a blast. I mean, since you're already here, you might as well take to some of the amenities that my dear home has to offer. It'd do you some good."

This was probably a futile offer, but Elina couldn't help but make it nonetheless. Not only would seeing the sights and hanging around the town be fun, but it'd prolong any unpleasant conversation about the past. Inevitable though it might be, Elina didn't feel ready to rip off her bandages and start digging and poking at her old wounds. She doubted Brin had as much reservation in that regard; she wondered how long it'd be until she brought out the fire poker and began prodding her. The Zeltron couldn't blame her friend, of course. Were the places reversed, she'd be just as curious as to why she'd left so suddenly and without word.

"I know I'm not your mother or your keeper, but still..."

Before, she probably would have been offended by the insinuation that she couldn't take care of herself. But now, she recognized her friend's concern for what it was--concern for a friend. If Brin was doing something stupid, Elina would point it out too. After all, that was what friends were there for--to keep you from falling in the first place, and to help you up when you did. Maybe she'd gained some wisdom in the months that had passed by, or maybe she was just in a really calm mood today enough to realize this. Truly, it was amazing what a little rest and relaxation could do for a person.

"No, you're right," she said, nodding. It'd been unlocked because she felt safe here on Zeltros but, beyond that, she'd left it unlocked for when Cam came back. She wasn't about to bring him into this, though. If at all possible, she'd keep him away from Brin and out of conversation. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Someone forgot to leave a note."

Well, seemed like sooner had won out over later once again.

Elina remained silent, not sure what to say to that. She didn't forget--Brin knew that, she knew that. She'd purposely left without saying goodbye, but she hadn't done it to hurt her friend but more out of a necessity. Brin would have persuaded her to stay, of that she had no doubt. And after what she'd said to him, well, it just wouldn't have been good to stick around. The Alliance had barely tolerated her presence when she'd been working for them; there was no way they would have stood for her remaining anywhere near them after she'd quit as she had. No matter that she'd helped rescue the Director of Intelligence (and even then, it was more thanks to the others than her).

"What the kriff, Elina?"

She took a few seconds to let her initial responses go away--the ones that were defensive and would have snapped at Brin. She was happy to see her friend again, truth be told, and didn't want to send her away. Elina didn't have many true friends these days...It'd be idiotic of her to push away one of the best of them.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked. "I'm not sorry that I left." Something of a lie. "I am sorry that it worried you, though." That was true enough. "But my reasons for leaving the way I did are my own and, quite frankly, none of your business, Brin. I really don't feel like talking about it. It's in the past...where it can stay, as far as I'm concerned."

Elina leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in what she hoped was a nonchalant fashion. She forced a smile, though she was not sure if it was for Brin's benefit or her own. Before the woman could reply to her former statement, she continued on in a blithe tone. "Now, since you came all this way to see me, why don't we go do something fun? I know some places..."

"That right? Well, congratulations, you found me."

If 'Brin' noted the difficulty Elina was having in putting up a bland front, she gave no sign. She did, however, clearly understand that what the Zeltron said was not intended as a compliment. "What can I say?" Her shoulders rose and fell in a subtle shrug. "I've gotten pretty good at stalking over this past year," she noted in dry self-depreciation. In truth, her efforts to keep track of Elina's movements across the galaxy didn't technically qualify as stalking, but it amused her to term it so. There was no intention to attempt to control the target of her surveillance, only a desire to keep watch over them as best she could. Old habits were hard to break, and this was one habit Shay felt no inclination to try to shake.

"I mean, since you're already here, you might as well take to some of the amenities that my dear home has to offer. It'd do you some good."

Frack, but she's persistent! Even now, with Shay all but cornering Elina for answers the Zeltron obviously didn't want to give, the bounty hunter couldn't help but try to tempt her old partner yet again. Sometimes the more things change, the more things stay the same. "No offense, my friend, but a lot of those amenities really aren't for me." Elina might have a polygamist outlook on life, but Shay most decidedly didn't. She only wanted one man in her life (and her bed), and she already had him there.

"What do you want me to say?"

One slender brow quirked upwards. "The truth," Shay noted with an abundance of calm. "What else have I ever asked from you?" The Jedi Master endured the wash of defensive emotional 'spikes' from Elina's aura without flinching, remaining steady in the face of the storm. She'd known full well this meeting would not proceed smoothly, and Shay had steeled herself mentally against the inevitable flood of negativity from her friend. The experience wasn't a pleasant one, and it was only just beginning.

"I'm not sorry that I left. I am sorry that it worried you, though."

'Brin' offered another slight shrug in response. "What did you expect, Elina? That I wouldn't care you were gone? If so, you did both of us a disservice." While Shay could not display the depths of patience and compassion she possessed while in her alternate persona, the Telosian 'independent contractor' had always shown more than her fair share of concern for those she called friend.

"But my reasons for leaving the way I did are my own and, quite frankly, none of your business, Brin. I really don't feel like talking about it. It's in the past...where it can stay, as far as I'm concerned."

"Is that so?" A faint edge of challenge cut through her voice then. "Well then, let me tell you what I think." Planting her palms flat against the countertop, Shay pushed her off the unconventional perch she'd taken. "I think it is my business. I think I have the right to know why someone I've practically gone through the seven Corellian hells to save would ditch me without warning." With slow steps, 'Brin' reduced the distance between the two women, hands resting loosely against her hips. "I think someone who calls me friend owes me that much consideration."

Coming to a halt when they were but a scant foot apart, Shay locked her gaze on Elina's face, amber eyes narrowing a slight but significant degree. "I'm not one who normally calls in debts, you know that. I figure everything will work itself out even somewhere down the road. I don't do things for people I care about expecting repayment. But in this case, I'm willing to make an exception to my own rules." While her posture was not a threatening one per se, her demeanor had taken on a commanding air. "Tell me what happened, Elina. Why did you quit the Alliance?"

"Tell me what happened, Elina. Why did you quit the Alliance?"

While it may have seemed like a simple enough question, it couldn't have been harder for Elina to answer. There were many "reasons" why she'd quit the Alliance, and then there had been the reason. She'd come up with justified reasons to back up her logic in leaving before she'd actually quit, and had developed even more afterwards. Mostly, it was to bury the deep regret that she feared would surface if she allowed her thoughts to run their own trains of thought for too long. Elina had lots of regrets, but some were more painful than others and unbearable to think upon.

Brin was her friend, and she respected her as such...but that didn't mean that she had a right to know everything about her, motives or otherwise. Yes, she'd saved her life on several separate occasions. And yes, she did owe her for that. Now was not the time to pay her back, however. Just because she was going to be nosy and demand answers didn't mean that that was what she would receive. Everyone had a right to privacy, especially when it was there to protect them in the first place. It'd be as opening the floodgates if she actually explained to the woman why she'd left. Even now, it was difficult to avoid thinking about it.

But what was she to say? If there was anything she'd learned about Brin in her experience working with the woman is that she was of the determined variety; if she wanted to know something, she'd find out. Maybe not now, maybe not later, but eventually. Could Elina somehow stall, perhaps delaying that inevitable eventually for a little longer? It was ignorant of her to think that she could, but desperation gave her enough cause to try. If she was lucky, her friend would drop the subject after she made her point clear--that she wasn't going to discuss this with her. Not now, not ever if she had her way with it.

"No, Brin," she finally said after a moment's thought. Her voice was firm, and she stood a little taller, radiating a strength of will and of mind that she wasn't sure that she actually felt at the moment. "Like I told you, I'm sorry that I didn't say goodbye but no, I'm not going to go into why I did what I did. All I'm going to say is that it wasn't because of you. I'd never intentionally go out of my way to hurt a friend."

She looked at her seriously, hoping her friend would understand. Her hazel eyes were shielded, filled with something that could be likened to fear. If Brin kept pressing, Elina wasn't sure what would happen. Either she'd confess, or she'd lose a friend. Neither option was very appealing.

"If you're my friend like you claim you are," she said, "then respect my wishes on the matter. Let this go."

"If you're my friend like you claim you are, then respect my wishes on the matter. Let this go."

If she were truly Brin Trell, truly a normal woman, Shay estimated she'd be more than a little hurt at this point, not to mention a whole lot frustrated. What she had asked of her friend was not so much compared to all she had done on Elina's behalf. While the Jedi Master did not hold the multiple life debts the Zeltron owed against her, the Telosian mercenary she pretended to be certainly would. To project the appropriate image, Shay 'painted' her aura with hints of these emotions for the benefit of the bounty hunter's empathy. Her true feelings remained under wraps as always, hidden away from Elina's curious perceptions.

"So that's it." The human woman's voice came softly now, a low tone more worrisome than any shout. "After all we've been through, that's the line you want to draw in the sand." Each word was carefully enunciated, devoid of feeling. 'Brin' was pulling back into herself, obscuring her intentions from Elina's view. The impression her behavior gave was one of a person trying to hide how deeply she was affected by this situation.

"Fine. I'll back off. For now." Pointedly turning her gaze away from the Zeltron, Shay began to make a slow circuit of the galley, as though she were performing an inspection of its contents. Her stance was casual, even relaxed for the most part, though her avoidance of Elina's eyes belied her indifferent demeanor. "I am your friend Elina. But quite frankly, you're not acting much like mine right now. You haven't for a good long while." There it was, laid flat out on the metaphorical table for all to see. Words such as those could never be taken back, because they were true. "From my perspective, it's been as though you wanted to pretend I never existed. What's a woman supposed to think about that?"

In order to put her hands to some use, 'Brin' began to sort through all the containers of edibles Elina had pulled out of storage during her earlier search. With a kind of absent efficiency the Jedi Master set about returning each item to its proper place in the cabinets. "Let me give you some advice," she offered as she worked, never looking back at the target of her statements. "From someone who's traveled this territory before. You say whatever happened to drive you off is in the past, and you want to keep it there. I don't know exactly what all this is about, though I've got some very interesting theories on the subject, believe you me."

Shay tossed a canister from one hand to the other for a few moments, meditatively watching its motion. "Problem is, you're the one who's dragging it into the present, sister. You haven't let it go, so you're carrying it along with you everywhere even while you're trying so damn hard to get away from it." There was no avoiding the fact that was what Elina had been doing these past several months. This much was blatantly clear to the Jedi Master. The other woman's abrupt departure from Corellia had been nothing less than a retreat.

"Truth is the ultimate bounty hunter. It will follow you to the ends of the galaxy, no matter how fast or how long you run. Trying to escape from it will only prolong the inevitable. No one can run forever. As soon as you stop to catch your breath, the truth will be there, lying in wait, ready to strike. When that time comes... well, I don't want you to end up regretting what you've done during your run when you finally come to rest, Elina." Pausing in her idle task, Shay permitted a small sigh to escape her lips. "I can't help you with this if you won't let me."

"After all we've been through, that's the line you want to draw in the sand."

The change in the woman was apparent to Elina, though she couldn't get a very good reading on her emotions. As always, Brin managed to remain elusive, as though she was right outside of Elina's metaphysical periphery. Some day she'd have to get Brin to teach her how to be so good at hiding and shielding her emotions...but she knew that day might never come if their friendship fell here and now. Despite her efforts to toss the conversation out the window in favor of doing something more light-hearted, Brin didn't seem as willing to abandon it, much to her concern.

"If that's how you're going to look at it, then yes," Elina replied, still trying to act as though she wasn't as worried about Brin's acceptance of this as she was. Until she'd shown up again, Elina hadn't thought much about the woman...or the Alliance in which she'd helped her become a part of. It wasn't personal against her--it never had been--but more of a way to protect herself. If she thought about Brin, she thought about all they'd done together, and then she thought about the Alliance, and if she thought about the Alliance...she thought about him. And that wasn't an easy thing for her to do.

Even now, after all the time she'd spent away from Corellia, the Alliance and its Director of Intelligence, she couldn't shake the regret that continued to creep up on her when she wasn't consciously warding against it. It was like it was always there, just waiting for its chance. Didn't she have enough regret in life without having to add more to it? Apparently not. The Galaxy obviously felt as though it hadn't screwed with her enough. Maybe it would never be satisfied until she was dead...but that pessimistic thought wasn't one she wanted to believe. Otherwise, why keep doing what she was doing? Why not just give up?

"I am your friend Elina. But quite frankly, you're not acting much like mine right now. You haven't for a good long while."

The aghast expression that worked its way into her face wasn't one she could help. Brin's words were blunt, and they stung as such. "What do you mean?" she asked, confused.

"From my perspective, it's been as though you wanted to pretend I never existed. What's a woman supposed to think about that?"

Elina would have laughed at the absurdity of that if this whole situation wasn't serious in every sense of the word. Brin believed that she had been pretending that she didn't exist? What have ever given her that impression? Just because she didn't say goodbye didn't mean that she wanted to forget their friendship entirely. Hell, she probably would have eventually looked the woman up just to see how she was getting on, if she was doing alright--or because she just needed a friend to talk to in a Galaxy where she didn't feel that she could trust many people. Elina wasn't sure whether she should feel insulted or hurt because of Brin's assumption.

"Brin, I never...never tried to pretend that you never existed," Elina said, her tone entreating rather than defensive. "You have to believe that. You're one of my only friends. If anything, I thought it was better to keep you out of this altogether. For your sake if not mine." Though she didn't elaborate on what the this was. She was still holding out hope that Brin wouldn't force a confession out of her.

"...I don't know exactly what all this is about, though I've got some very interesting theories on the subject, believe you me."

She tensed, wondering how much Brin really knew. Was she just toying with her, seeing if she'd tell her the truth when she knew it all along? Or was Elina just being paranoid? She knew she wouldn't be able to be objective here. Backed into a corner, with escape decreasing in its likelihood, she found herself wishing Cam was here. As silly a notion as it was, at least she knew he'd fight for her.

The Zeltron narrowed her eyes to suspicious slits. "Is that so?" she said, attempting to keep the sudden bite from her tone. The fight instinct was quickly surpassing the flight one. "I'd like to hear some of those...or would I?" Brin couldn't know about her true motive for leaving...unless he'd told her. But why would he do that? Inwardly, she groaned, knowing she was on the losing side of this conflict when she couldn't even make up her own mind about matters.

"I can't help you with this if you won't let me."

The saying 'hitting the nail on the head' could not have been more true in this case. Brin seemed to understand Elina's plight better than even she herself did. What Elina suspected, Brin had put into words...and made it sound as if it were fact. What could she say in the face of such unwavering logic?

She let out a small laugh, sad and self-deprecating in nature. "You'd help me," she said, nodding in agreement with that fact before shaking her head. "But I don't think this is something that even you can help me with, Brin. I appreciate the thought, though."

And that much was true. It was nice of her friend to offer, but this wasn't a problem with an easy solution...not one that her friend could provide. Elina had thought that if she'd buried the whole thing that it'd eventually just go away into those dark recesses in her mind...like the event with Rigius had. To an extent, it had begun to do just that--mostly thanks to Cam. But it was still there, and it didn't take much to probe such memories and bring them to the forefront of her conscious thought. Why was she having such a difficult time with this? It was as though she'd caught off the disease by amputating her arm just to realize that it'd already spread far past that...to her heart.

"I guess you're right, though," she said with a resigned sigh and even some bitterness. "You want to know the truth behind why I left? It was because of Wes." She hadn't said his name or even allowed herself to think it in so long that it felt strange to her, foreign almost. "Actually, I guess that's not entirely true. It was because of me, too. No...me, mostly. Hell, I don't even know anymore. But it's not like it matters much, not now. I like to think that it was in his best interests as well as mine that I quit the Alliance but...who knows? I gave him my resignation and I left, as quick and as painless as possible. Kinda like ripping off a bandage. That's it, the end. If I'd known it would have sent across the wrong message to you, though, I would have said goodbye. Like I told you before, it wasn't anything personal...not against you, anyway.

"Are you happy now?"

The Zeltron was no doubt radiating a ton of powerful pheromones at this point, knowingly or unknowingly. She didn't care which. The truth was out in the open now, well...most of it, anyway. Surprisingly, she felt a bit better for it. Huh. Strange. Now she'd just have to wait and see if Brin understood...or if she'd be losing a friend today.

"Brin, I never...never tried to pretend that you never existed. You have to believe that. You're one of my only friends. If anything, I thought it was better to keep you out of this altogether. For your sake if not mine."

The secret to being an effective interrogator was possessing the flexibility to change your tactics to fit the target. Different people responded to different methods. When Shay had determined straight out confrontation was not proving effective in this case, she'd switched over to provoking guilt. From Elina's initial reactions, the switch in the Jedi Master's outer demeanor was having the desired effect on the Zeltron. Shay had long ago come to peace with the fact she emotionally manipulated other sentient beings on a regular basis. As it was always either for their own good or for the greater good, she never felt bad about doing so.

"Well, I don't think it was better," 'Brin' commented quietly, keeping her gaze fixed on her task. For a woman who'd never shown any hesitation in looking at someone square in the face before, this avoidance of Elina's eyes was telling--or at least it was supposed to be, within the context of the Jedi's persona.

"Is that so? I'd like to hear some of those... or would I?"

"Under the circumstances? Probably not." An acerbic tang surfaced in Shay's voice for a short span of time. It was her intent to continue giving the appearance of a woman who was discontent with being shut out of her friend's life. 'Brin Trell' was a stubborn woman, one who didn't appreciate truths being kept from her even after she'd gone so far as to lower herself and call in one of her many debts. That part of these circumstances particularly stung the Telosian mercenary; she'd broken her own rules and it hadn't even mattered.

"You'd help me. But I don't think this is something that even you can help me with, Brin. I appreciate the thought, though."

Elina was cracking; the clues were there in her voice as well as her emotional resonance. Shay felt no sense of triumph from observing the results of her masterful performance. In the end, she was only doing her job as a Jedi--and as a friend. Meeting your basic responsibilities wasn't something you should pat yourself on the back for, to her way of thinking.

In concession to the other woman's distress, 'Brin' finally turned around to face her again. The human struck a pose leaning back against the edge of the counter, folding her arms across her chest. "You can't know that unless you give it a try," she advised, her tone carefully maintained in a reasonable register. No sense in overhammering the nail.

"I guess you're right, though. You want to know the truth behind why I left? It was because of Wes."

I usually am. Not that I take any kind of pleasure in that fact. Shay wasn't about to speak those words aloud, as they wouldn't help the situation. A pall of sympathy draped itself over her angular features, the previously hard cast to her amber eyes softening significantly. The Jedi Master didn't have to fake this emotion; she was sympathetic towards Elina's distress on this subject. She was even more so now than she would've been several months ago, before she'd endured her own difficulties in the romantic arena.

Elina's confession answered some questions Shay had, but it also stirred up new ones. If she left because of Loran, why did he tell me he didn't know why she'd quit the Alliance? As far as the Jedi had been able to determine, the Intelligence Director had been telling the truth when he'd said as much. Admittedly, the one time Master Marin had dared to bring up the subject of the bounty hunter, Loran had grown rather closed up emotionally. That meant she couldn't be certain if Loran didn't know because he was truly ignorant, or because he was merely confused.

"...Are you happy now?"

Shay's face assumed a thoughtful mien. "No..." she began to answer, making a show of carefully picking out her words. "But that's only because I wasn't worried about 'winning' here. I'm worried about you." The blonde woman shifted her weight from right to left in an outward display of discomfort. With her skill at biocontrol, Zeltron pheromones could not affect her when she was prepared for them. However, the copious amounts of chemicals choking the air as a result of Elina's distress should bother Brin.

"Look," Shay offered after a moment, clearing her throat as though in an attempt to focus herself. "I'd be the worst sort of hypocrite if I attempted to meddle in someone else's relationships--or potential relationships, as the case may be." One of her trademark self-depreciating smirks twisted her painted lips. "So if you were worried about that, you don't have to be." Unfolding her arms, 'Brin' took a few tentative steps towards her long absentee friend. "That said... did you ever tell him how you felt?" There was no doubt in Shay's mind that Elina loved the man. All those months of her making herself miserable over his capture had been proof enough.

"...So if you were worried about that, you don't have to be."

Whether this was true or not had little merit now that she knew. Her actions would speak louder than her words, blunt though they may be more often than not. This wasn't to say that the Zeltron had any inordinate amount of distrust for the woman, but it had been months since last they'd spoken and the reasons surrounding their meeting now weren't the greatest. Brin was her friend, of this she was certain, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't make a comment or do something that could hurt Elina in some fashion, either intentionally or unintentionally--Hell, her words often stung like Corulag fire ants but they were always told her with her own best interests at heart and usually were truthful. This gave solidity to the old saying: the truth hurts.

"That said... did you ever tell him how you felt?"

A long moment passed when no reaction was given from the Zeltron, mostly because it took that long for her mind to process the words themselves. Once her brain had digested the simplicity of the question, it proceeded to complicate it by being unable to find a reasonable answer. Had she told him how she felt? Had she needed to? All of her actions had spoken rather clearly how she felt. Or so she'd thought. Maybe they hadn't, maybe he didn't know. Who was to say what went on in that conspiratorial mind of the Alliance Director of Intelligence's? Certainly she wasn't one to know.

At the time, she'd justified every one of her actions--especially her decision to leave which had been formed as a result of her twisted logic. Even now, while she wasn't sure it was the best choice, she was certain that it was the right one. That didn't mean that it had been good for either of them (her especially) but it seemed the only appropriate thing to do. If she had stayed, what would have happened? What would she have wanted to happen? Nothing was clear to her anymore, everything was blurry in her mind...even the hypothetical stuff. No, especially the hypothetical stuff. She figured it was mostly because she tried so hard not to think about it.

Because, quite frankly, what could have been was even more painful to dwell upon than the realities of her life at present.

There were so many what if scenarios that had run through her mind since her departure from Corellia that if she spent even a moment on any of them, she feared that it'd grip a hold around her heart and never let go. She'd done so much running, so much forgetting (or trying to forget, anyway) that to stop meant that it would all catch up to her in a single, glorious coup de grâce. It was just like Brin had said--the truth would follow her forever, waiting for the moment when she paused for breath in which to overwhelm her. Could she forever live life like that? Was there any other alternative?

After the long pause in which to gather her thoughts, she finally answered her friend.

"No," she admitted. "Not specifically, but...I shouldn't have had to. He should have known. And even if he didn't, that wasn't the problem. I was the problem."

She'd long surpassed the phase in which she hated Wes--and that phase had only existed because she didn't know what else to do, how else to feel about him without hating herself in the process. If he'd returned her feelings, had told her outright, would she have stayed? It was a question that had haunted her for a while now...yet, she still had no answer. Had he made the effort to keep her around, Elina wasn't sure that she wouldn't eventually leave anyway. Now or then, it didn't matter when she'd left insomuch as the fact was that she would. Eventually. She had, just sooner than she'd expected and with more difficulty than she expected.

Elina ran a finger across her bottom lip in thought before her lips pulled upwards into a sad, self-mocking smile. "Some people are meant to love, Brin. And some people are just meant to chase it. Suffice it to say, I'm not the former. I learned that the hard way...and I'm not eager to make the same mistake twice."

"No. Not specifically, but... I shouldn't have had to. He should have known."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Elina's words inspired a quiet chuckle from Shay. "In case you haven't noticed, men can be rather dense at times." The Jedi Master's own difficulties in convincing Mac of the sincerity of her feelings for him was proof enough of that. Loran might be an impressively perceptive individual--even by Jedi standards--but it was not outside the realm of possibility that he hadn't ever figured out how the Zeltron bounty hunter felt about him. It didn't matter how observant a person nominally was... if they couldn't or didn't want to conceive of a particular emotion being directed at them, they would never notice it.

"And even if he didn't, that wasn't the problem. I was the problem."

From the way her brow furrowed in consternation, it was obvious 'Brin' wanted to refute Elina's words. No one person was ever the 'problem' in a relationship. Like a hyperspace corridor, it went both ways. Master Marin didn't know why her friend was so willing to shoulder all potential blame upon herself, but she doubted the Zeltron's reasons were rational ones, to say nothing of them being reasonable ones. Elina wasn't a Jedi, so Shay was not about to expect her to have the constant ability to view her emotions from an objective standpoint.

"Some people are meant to love, Brin. And some people are just meant to chase it. Suffice it to say, I'm not the former. I learned that the hard way... and I'm not eager to make the same mistake twice."

The meaning of the bounty hunter's statements was unmistakable: Elina had loved and lost at some point in previous years. The pain from her past had lingered on into the present, tainting her prospects for a happy future. Out of fear of being hurt again, Elina had apparently chosen to sabotage her fledgling relationship with the Director. Shay could understand this from an intellectual perspective, at least. Comparative sentient psychology had been a subject she'd devoted a great deal of study to during her training. This expertise helped her better approximate the sort of emotional responses other humans took for granted, as well as allowing her to more easily manipulate others.

"Elina... I don't know what happened to make you feel that way--and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I think I've done enough prying for one day." The sympathetic tone of her voice made it clear 'Brin' would be more than happy to listen to her friend's tale of woe, though. "But whoever it was that hurt you... they're not Loran. You shouldn't punish him for the crimes of others." Personally, Shay thought the Director was a rather stand-up individual, someone who likely wouldn't play with the emotions of others for his own entertainment. For his job, sure, but not for any personal reasons.

Another few steps forward brought Shay within arm's reach of the other woman. Carefully, as though she were afraid the Zeltron would bolt, 'Brin' laid a gentle hand on Elina's shoulder. "And you shouldn't punish yourself for them either. Don't let the ghosts from your past win like that. Such things only have as much power as you give to them." When her smile resurfaced again, the expression held a decidedly rueful cast. "Trust me on this one; it's a lesson I've had to learn for myself recently. For the record, I apparently make a horrible student."

In another delicately orchestrated performance, Shay schooled her features into a brief frown of discomfort as a 'result' of the pheromones Elina was still pumping out on overdrive. With an apparent effort of will, 'Brin' shoved away the annoying sensations and gave her friend a grin in exchange. "Hey... why don't we both go out and have ourselves a nice breakfast, hmm? On me, I insist. It's the least I can do."

"Elina... I don't know what happened to make you feel that way--and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I think I've done enough prying for one day."

She almost sniffed at that. It was true that Brin had pried, but she'd had just reason to do so...to a point, anyway. After that she'd had no business trying to get the dirt on Elina's past and recent affairs. The Zeltron had known that fact, too, yet she'd voluntarily divulged some of her secrets to the woman. Perhaps keeping it contained for so long had merely worsened it in the long run. Maybe the reason that it'd come out so quickly, without much in the way of provocation, was that subconsciously she was dying to confide in someone. And who better to do that than the woman whom she considered one of her closest friends?

"Right," she said, tossing her head nonchalantly. Her tone was layered in sarcasm, a typical mode of defense as she tried to reign in her emotions. "Wouldn't want this to turn into a therapy session now, would we?"

If she'd been willing to take the conversation further, confessing more of her past missteps and troubles, Elina knew for a fact that Brin would be willing to listen. It was comforting to know that there would always be someone there for her, in honesty. Having traveled the space lanes almost entirely solo for so long, she'd forgotten that some people in this messed up Galaxy could, in fact, be trusted. While her list of confidantes was small, at least it existed. With Brin around, she was reminded of that. Though she didn't want to take up too much of her friend's time with her own woes, and there were some things that she just wasn't willing to talk about. Period.

"And you shouldn't punish yourself for them either. Don't let the ghosts from your past win like that. Such things only have as much power as you give to them."

For one in her line of work, Brin often surprised Elina with her wisdom and insight. Maybe it just came with age, since Brin appeared to be at least a few years older than Elina. But she didn't think so. Experience served as a better teacher, she'd always found. It was that which lent age its fallacy of knowledge. Young by many species' standards, Elina knew she had much still to learn--as well as much left to experience. The Galaxy was a big place, with a lot to do and see. Though it'd take many lifetimes to see everything, meet everyone...Elina had one life to live and she knew that she best make the best of it. So far, it could be said that she was doing neither a good or bad job, really.

"I guess you're right," Elina conceded after hearing her friend out. It was unlikely that she'd change her ways, so set in them as she was...but maybe the chances of her making peace with who she was and what she did (and her past, specifically) would rise.

"Hey... why don't we both go out and have ourselves a nice breakfast, hmm? On me, I insist. It's the least I can do."

Elina returned her friend's grin, pulling her emotions back to her and locking them away for the time being with considerable restraint. "See," she said, looking a mite more calmer now. "That's what I wanted to do in the first place. But on the bright side, now I don't have to pay." Her clouded eyes cleared, revealing their normal mischievous brown colour. "I'm starved, so let's get going."

With Cam “business” these days seemed to not last entirely too long. Mind, he’d never been a terribly proactive fellow. Indeed his entire life had been relatively lackadaisical in nature. He worked when he felt like it or when he really needed the creds. In many ways, his line of work was more or less a hobby for him and little more. He blamed the man who’d raised him--his presumed father--for instilling this way of thinking in him. Fallion had never been much of a go getter either. They both felt that being good at what they did was more than ample and there was no point in overworking one’s self.

And hey, on Zeltros, there was more than a little to distract him.

However, he didn’t find himself wandering into bars or sideshow attractions like one might have expected from a playboy such as himself. Once he might have surprised himself by where he was going now, but it only seemed obvious at this point. Elina had become his one source of “constance” these days. He found her company more than suiting his needs. He had left her back on the Tempest for some shut eye but he imagined she was awake by now. She wasn’t one for loitering around. She was a very, very active sort of woman. You know?

What was waiting for him back on the ship he’d started to see as ‘home base’ wasn’t expected though.

"I'm starved, so let's get going."

He’d expected Elina alone, as he normally found her on the Tempest. But standing there with her was a slightly older blonde woman he didn’t even begin to recognize in any form. The way Elina was standing in relation to her, though, made him pretty sure that they knew each other.

Playing off the very tail end of what Elina had said, he gave his ‘companion’ a mock-sorrowful look. “You trying to bail on me, doll?”

After lingering on Elina for a moment, his gaze flit briefly to the stranger, perplexed amusement clear in his blue eyes as he gauged her reaction to his arrival on the scene. As much as he never made a point to pry into Elina’s life outside of himself, he found himself very curious as to who this was.

"Wouldn't want this to turn into a therapy session now, would we?"

Elina's words drew a wry smirk on Shay's face. "Perish the thought!" Within the privacy of her own thoughts, however, she was not so much amused as concerned. She understood the motives for why someone would go on the emotional defense--Force knew she'd dealt with it from Mac enough times in the past. The Jedi Master was also aware of the many uses for putting up a false front, disguising one's true feelings. Until this past year and all the change it had wrought, it was something Shay had done most every day.

The outer facade of indifference Elina was putting forth now was something the Jedi knew she could cut through easily enough, with the right words and the calculated projection of false emotions. Among other things, Master Marin was an expert interrogator. She wasn't going to do that, though, because it was more than likely she would lose a friend in the process. As much as Jedi traditionally supposed to have friends outside the Order, Shay was not about to deny that she considered the Zeltron bounty hunter one. Elina had a good heart underneath her tough exterior. While she didn't always make the 'right' choice, she generally seemed to have the best of intentions for those around her.

"I guess you're right."

Shay's next offered expression was a cocky grin, something she knew she'd most likely picked up from spending so much time with Mac. One of the potential pitfalls of being a rather sensitive empath was that you could start to pick up on the personality traits--or at least the mannerisms--of anyone you became particularly attached to. The word 'attached' was now something of an understatement when it came to how she felt about the man. "I usually am, y'know."

"See, that's what I wanted to do in the first place. But on the bright side, now I don't have to pay."

'Brin' gave a chuckle at her friend's upswing in mood. She was pleased with the result; that had been her intention in giving Elina a clear-cut 'out' from the conversation. A true Jedi would never have any desire to cause unnecessary distress. Shay had received the answer she sought, so now it was time to let the Zeltron unwind from her previous stressful state. As she had said, it was the least she could do, considering she was the one to get Elina distraught in the first place.

"I'm starved, so let's get going."

The blonde woman was about to answer her friend when her passive Force perceptions picked up another presence behind her. Keeping her Force signature suppressed as she did on most worlds meant the 'scan radius' of her abilities was limited. In addition, this new individual was not radiating any worrisome or threatening emotion that would have made her instincts kick in when he was a greater distance away. Given that she'd locked the Tempest's door behind her, Shay guessed the newcomer belonged here. In exactly what capacity... well, that remained to be seen.

"You trying to bail on me, doll?"

As though she had been surprised by the voice when it came, 'Brin' gave a bit of a start and whirled around towards the source. She returned the man's amused examination with a thorough visual inspection of her own. What truly surprised her was the presence of a man in Elina's life, one who obviously felt close to her in some fashion. So this would be the gentleman reported to be accompanying Elina on that news bulletin I read from Naboo. This meant the two of them were business partners as well as... friends? Lovers? Shay had to admit she was curious about the circumstances of their relationship. No matter how many times her sense of curiosity had gotten her in trouble--some of it admittedly very pleasant trouble--she never sought to get rid of it.

Turning her amber gaze back towards Elina, 'Brin' favored the Zeltron with a look that was equal parts amusement and speculation. "I didn't realize you were entertaining company." With a lopsided smile, she let Elina 'off the hook' for the moment, turning her penetrating gaze back towards the newcomer in the room. Taking the initiative, the 'independent contractor' strode across the room and extended a hand towards the man. "Hey... I'm Brin Trell, nice to meet you. Elina and I are old friends; we worked on some jobs together a while back. And you?" Shay quirked up an inquisitive brow to add further emphasis to her question.