running on SUNSHINE, Virginia!

[Elena Lupei]

GIRL YOU GOT ME RUNNING ON SUNSHINE
PEOPLE MAY STOP AND STARE BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE NO, JUST AS LONG AS I’M WITH YOU

Lena pursed her lips slightly when she heard Virginia’s answer, leaning closer in order to hear her properly… or maybe that was just Lena’s way of maneuvering her long mane of hair in order to create a curtain in front of Virginia’s lips, so there was virtually no way anyone else would know what they were talking about. It would have been easy if Virginia spoke Hungarian or Romanian, but Lena supposed that it wasn’t really that bad, speaking softly. What she didn’t like was having to pick the softness of Virginia’s voice out of all the other sharp sounds around, and trying to block everything but that soft sort of whisper. It wasn’t impossible, but it definitely took a little bit more effort than regular listening tended to.“What was it like? I mean… how did you…? Didn’t you think something would go wrong when you were doing it?” Lena inquired curiously. She had always been curious about Virginia, her beliefs, and how she went about her way of life. Having a generally open mind, Lena was often drawn to very “different” people, Virginia definitely being one of them.

“What would have happened if you messed up? Would you have just died, or something worse?” In a way, Lena was well-aware of the fact that what Virginia did almost completely and wholly went against what she had been taught as a child when she and her family had gone to church services. But that just seemed to make it more fun… because after all, didn’t everyone want to learn more about what their parents had restricted? She kept her arm linked with Virginia’s as they moved forward a few places in line, noting that they still had quite awhile before they would actually get to the roller coaster itself… definitely enough time for the conversation to finish itself, at least.

[Virginia Bray]

walk her every day into a shady place, with her lips she said, she said...
HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, LET'S HAVE A BALL

Virginia was about tempted to sniff at Lena's hair, so close. She refrained. Or, rather, she only did it very discretely. She nearly didn't hear what Lena was saying to her. What was it like? Virginia took her time to think about it. She remembered it, of course. In technicolor she remembered it. Exciting and frightening in all its glory. Stating what she was going to try, and doing it. How to explain it to someone else, though? Someone who wasn't there, who didn't feel it? The profoundness of her change? The first feel of another's blood and the rush of finally, for once in your life, feeling as if you had some control over something? Power to no longer allow yourself to be walked all over, and all you had to do was offer up a soul or three to show your loyalty.

"In some ways it was the easiest thing I ever did, actually," she replied, her brow furrowed in her seriousness. "I was ready for it, I wanted it. Needed it." She had been desperate. How do you explain desperation on such a scale? Never had she ever felt so weak as that moment where she was willing to give everything up, and never had she felt more powerful as she set her mind to do it.

"If I had messed up I probably would have died." No. She shook her head. "Been killed," she corrected. She had been murdering her parents at the time, after all. They did fight back. She'd killed her father first, he had come home first. Her mother walked through the door in the near aftermath of it, nearly too shocked to fight. "He would have already had my soul, however, so I…" Virginia moved ahead in line some, "I'm not sure what He would have done with it, it is not for me to decide my Fate now, in the afterlife." Virginia still did not truly know what would happen to her. she was resigned to it. She had been from the beginning. "I could still have 'something worse' waiting for me when I die."

[Elena Lupei]

GIRL YOU GOT ME RUNNING ON SUNSHINE
PEOPLE MAY STOP AND STARE BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE NO, JUST AS LONG AS I’M WITH YOU

Lena nodded seriously as Virginia spoke, growing ever more curious as the girl continued on. Of course, Lena had been brought up attending church almost regularly, and she’d almost always heard about how horrible and awful it was to lose your soul, but here Virginia was, standing tall, proud, and strong, having very willingly given hers up… and for what? It was a question that seemed much too personal—and invasive, in Lena’s eyes—to ask, especially in such an inappropriate setting. In a way, Lena had always believed actually losing your soul and living afterwards to be near impossible. Of course, she reasoned, why would you even want to continue on without your soul? Didn’t that etch out who you were? Then it occurred to her that maybe that was the problem that Virginia had had with her soul—it completely and totally etched out every detail of her very being, and she wanted a clean slate. A new kind of beginning.

“But you’re not scared of what could happen, are you?” Lena said softly, wondering just who Virginia had been before she was… Virginia. “I don’t think I could ever do that,” she laughed slightly, shaking her head because she knew she wouldn’t ever be able to give up her soul. No matter how scared of Bianca and Anton she had grown to be, Lena wasn’t about to forfeit her soul in an effort to get away and hide from them. “I’d be too scared of who I’d be afterwards,” she admitted bluntly. Oh yes, Lena’s worst fear was that she would be the kind of monster Bianca had turned out to be… and she wasn’t even totally sure that Bianca had done something similar to giving up her soul. Maybe she’d simply been possessed by some kind of demon, and the real Bianca was rotting in hell somewhere… the thought made Lena purse her lips in distaste.

[Virginia Bray]

walk her every day into a shady place, with her lips she said, she said...
HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, LET'S HAVE A BALL

"Scared of what could happen to me," Virginia repeated, looking amused, "No. There would be no point in being afraid. It's going to happen anyway— I have faith I will be rewarded for loyalty in the afterlife. Maybe I'll just get rammed in the ass instead, but being afraid of it wont change it." She shrugged some. And besides that, one of the things she had asked for was to be released from true fear. Maybe that didn't fully apply to heights for some weird reason, but for most other things, it certainly seemed she hadn't been gipped on her deal.

Lena admitted to being afraid of who she would be afterwards. Virginia could understand that. But there had been one giant difference between her and Elena— Elena liked who she was, for the most part. Virginia had nothing she wanted to keep about herself that she cared about the possibility of losing it. Anything was better than what she had, she felt. It was abysmal and depressing. Elena didn't need to go to the lengths Virginia had gone in her attempt at reinvention and empowerment. Virginia was a bit jealous of her, really. "If you don't believe you could do it," Virginia started, seriously, "Then you are not desperate enough to truly have a need to."

She stared at Elena for a long moment. "Be thankful."

[Elena Lupei]

GIRL YOU GOT ME RUNNING ON SUNSHINE
PEOPLE MAY STOP AND STARE BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE NO, JUST AS LONG AS I’M WITH YOU

Elena squeezed Virginia’s hand as she spoke about there being no use in being afraid of what was going to happen to her after she died. It was admirable. No matter how many times Lena went over her own life, turning issues over and over to try and see every side as she imagined God or whoever was up there would… she had no clue if she would end up in Heaven, Hell, or somewhere else entirely. Whatever it was going to be for her, she was always going to be somewhat frightened by it, just because she had no real way of preparing for it. Nobody knew what was out there, and in the end, she supposed it all depended on what she believed was out there. But that was a heavy question in itself, because despite her upbringing, she wasn’t entirely sure what she thought was out there… but whatever it was, it seemed to be liking her as of late, considering the fact that it kept her out of Bianca’s way. And to Lena, despite the fact that there were several aspects of her life that could have called her faith into serious question (such as the killing of her entire pack, getting rabies, having to run from her former best friend), the fact that she was currently living a good life was enough to reassure her that she would be alright in the long run.

“You’re right,” Lena agreed, inclining her head some as she smiled a little bit. “I mean, there are aspects of myself that I don’t particularly like, and would change if I could, but nothing that… extreme, I suppose.” The things Lena didn’t like about herself were… typical. She wished that her cheeks weren’t so puffy and that her face wasn’t as round as it was. She wanted her legs to be longer and thinner, she didn’t like the shape of her nose… superficial things, really, that didn’t necessitate giving up her soul for. Although, she supposed that if she could trade her soul for the ability to fly…

“I hate lines,” she remarked, suddenly and sourly, accompanied by a thick growl. She wasn’t concerned with the way the people around them suddenly became stiff, or cast her disgusted-looking glances, or moved a little ways away, so they weren’t so close to her, just in case she decided to lash out. Momentarily, Lena wondered if perhaps she could snarl and growl and bully her way to the front of the line, but shook off the idea, settling with the fact that if she started doing that, every werewolf would start doing it. That, or she would run into a werewolf that was stronger than her, and didn’t want to back down. Lena wasn’t going to get into a brawl over getting to the front of the line to ride a rollercoaster in a carnival. Madness.

“So ridiculous,” she continued to growl, even as they moved forward. “Why is there this many people in the first place? It’s just a carnival. There are other things to ride. They just have to be on this rollercoaster, at this time,” Lena scowled moodily, glaring at the man in front of her as if it was his fault. Yes. It was all his fault.

[Virginia Bray]

walk her every day into a shady place, with her lips she said, she said...
HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, LET'S HAVE A BALL

She was right? Of course she was right. Virginia was always right. Deep in her bones, she had no doubts she was right. Did she know? Not always. But she believed it. And belief, it was a powerful thing. Not that this was anything particularly earth-shattering. Elena simply agreed with her that she should be grateful she didn't thing badly enough about herself, that she wasn't a big enough failure, to wish to change herself. To become a different person entirely to escape all the things she hated about herself.

On second thought, maybe it was an earth-shattering thing, if she really stopped to consider it. But this was a subject Virginia didn't like. She'd said so much already, anyway. Been more open with Elena than she had… in a long while, with anyone. Virginia could respond. Could go on and on. But that wasn't really who she was. Said enough already; she nodded and happily moved the fuck on with her life.

Elena was already moving on as well, grumbling about the line once more. Virginia let out a short laugh, "I can tell you hate them," she said, "I'm not fond of waiting either." It was true. Though she was thankful for this particular line. She didn't want to go on this ride…

Virginia bristled. She was acting a fool. Like she was scared. She was not scared. Even Lena was picking up on it. That simple wasn't right, not at all. Fuck this. Virginia growled at herself, trying to make it look as mere impatience. "These idiots need to go back home," she said, shuffling forward at their snail's pace, "This is my carnival while I'm here."

Cocky.

[Elena Lupei]

GIRL YOU GOT ME RUNNING ON SUNSHINE
PEOPLE MAY STOP AND STARE BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE NO, JUST AS LONG AS I’M WITH YOU

“Well, you know, I’ve been standing here for-fucking-ever, and I figured we’d be at least a couple of feet away from the front by now…” But even as Lena bitched crabbily, the line was moving faster. Not fast enough for her, but they were almost to the front. She hadn’t always been so impatient, but life on the run had made her edgy, and her rabies didn’t help. She wasn’t as paranoid as Anton had gotten near the end of her time with him, but there were times when she couldn’t help but question things that just rang suspicious, or too coincidental to be coincidental. Lena couldn’t remember if she had ever been this way before she had been infected with rabies, but the fire and annihilation of her pack also contributed, so it was confusing. Her paranoia could have stemmed from the attack, or it could have stemmed from the rabies… or, perhaps the rabies just amplified what was already there.

“I’ve never been very patient,” Lena scowled a bit, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she bounced on the balls of her feet. She wanted to hover near the man in front of her, standing on her very tiptoes in order to try and breathe down his neck so that maybe he’d become uncomfortable and leave the line because she was creeping him out. Instead she turned back to Virginia, looking at the girl carefully. “Then again, I guess I should blame Anton for that… he put me on edge,” she snorted thoughtfully, remembering the brief time in which she and Anton had lived together. “He took forever to do anything, everything had to be perfectly precise right down to the smallest fucking detail…” Lena quietly raged, suddenly feeling passionately furious for no good reason.

“He would be cleaning the kitchen table after dinner, and it would take him almost three hours to even consider stopping and leaving it… Everything had to be clean, everything had to be in order… I can’t tell you how many times he killed some of my fucking plants with all those chemicals,” Lena frowned, clenching her fists tightly. She loved her plants, and remembering the rough way in which Anton had treated them made her… want to find him and start beating the shit out of him, even though it wasn’t like she could do much even if she did find him. She was so tiny, and he was so big… “I don’t know what I thought I was doing with him… I think I thought I was in love.”

[Virginia Bray]

walk her every day into a shady place, with her lips she said, she said...
HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, HEY PAUL, LET'S HAVE A BALL

Virginia chucked a bit as Elena seemed to grow more and more antsy and angry with the line around them. Or, ahead of them. Complaining was her game today, and it was doing a good job of taking Virginia mind off her impending doom via roller coaster by making her laugh. She was kind of thankful for Lena's crabishness. Elena was actually being… very talkative. She kept going, telling details of her life before. Virginia hoped she wasn't expecting her to cough up some more things about herself, because she'd had about enough personal sharing time for today. One can only handle so much. Or, well, she could handle more — it was more about whether she actually wanted to or not. She didn't. So, Elena bounced from one ball of her foot to another impatiently, and Virginia listened to her with some bemused expression until she was done.

"You're rather uptight about that guy," she started, "Maybe you did think you were in love." Virginia figured love made people uptight. It certainly seemed to from her observations on it. People get all confused and latch on to things or lash out over it if love doesn't go the way they want. Which is probably why it's better not to let yourself get attached to people, she thought to herself. Not she she seemed to always be succeeding in that… Virginia was not letting her head go down that path right now.

Eventually, she sort of shrugged a bit. Not uncaringly, just unsure of what else she could say, "Sorry about your plants," she stated, lamely."But look, the line's finally fucking moving," the girl said to change the subject, trying not to let a new wave of discomfort overcome her as she realized that meant she was going to have to actually do this, "About God damned time."

[Elena Lupei]

GIRL YOU GOT ME RUNNING ON SUNSHINE
PEOPLE MAY STOP AND STARE BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE NO, JUST AS LONG AS I’M WITH YOU

Elena chewed her lower lip in thought, trying to remember Anton in better detail. It had been quite awhile since they had been together, and even then, things hadn’t been so clear cut and black and white. At some level, there had been the mutual understanding that what they had was more than a simple friendship, however there had also been the understanding that it was inappropriate, and was of the utmost importance to keep silent. It said a lot about Lena that now she was freely speaking about it… though she would have said that telling Virginia was a wholly different matter than telling one of their former pack mates. Virginia could be trusted, and she certainly wasn’t the type to run off and gossip about it… even if she did, it would be useless, seeing as most of Lena’s pack was dead. But even when she and Anton had been in Hungary, they had been careful, though mainly because of Bianca.

“In a way, I guess I was… I think about going back to him sometimes,” Lena mused quietly, almost in a dark manner. She had stopped shifting by this point, becoming still and almost calm if not for the occasional fidget. Of course, Lena snapped out of it as soon as Virginia shrugged and awkwardly apologized for her plants, at which point Lena found herself laughing and shaking her head. Her poor plants… sometimes Lena didn’t know what she was going to do with herself. She loved the heat, the humidity, and plants, and yet she was living in Paris. She knew she had to leave eventually, but standing in line to get on the roller coaster with Virginia was what she wanted to be doing at that moment. After all, she was only eighteen… sometimes that was hard for her to think about. Giggling in her excitement, Lena bounced a little bit, especially when they were second in line finally. Squeezing Virginia’s hand tightly in her joy, Lena felt like she was going to burst with the sudden happiness. “Are you ready?”