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[Darian Patterson]

“No, I already told you. You aren’t supposed to eat dirt.”
“Well why not?”
“Because, it makes hair grow on your tongue.”
“Ew. But I’m hungry!”
“Don’t eat dirt, then. Find some food.”
“But all the Butterfingers in store gone!”
“There’s more than one store, you know. And you could eat something else.”
“…Yes…”
“Good. Then go find something else.”

And that’s how Darian found The Dollar Pheasant.

Had he not been arguing with Mikey about eating dirt, he’d never have come in here.

“Butterfinger, yes. Good, yes?” He looked down at Mikey while he picked up a king sized Butterfinger off a rack full of various other candies. The whole thing was gone within mere seconds. “Hmmmmm pop!” Ian said before making a popping noise with his mouth. He went over to the refrigerators towards the back of the store. Someone had already been here and gotten food and water, but Ian couldn’t care less about them.

He picked out a Pepsi and downed half of it in one big gulp. Ian burped and then giggled. “Mikey thirsty, yes?” He said to Mikey who only nodded. Ian poured out the remaining soda on the floor and Mikey started ‘drinking’ it. It didn’t disappear, though.

See, he was having fun.

[Daria Fallen]

Daria had been looking for somethin gto eat when she heard the little bell go off in the store. She poked her head around, surprised to see a man in his thirties. Moreso, a live man with a rather tattered looking back pack and a tring that found its way to the floor. The man himsel looked quite dishevled. And then he started talking to what appeared to be himself at first. (Mikey?) It was then that Daria realized that this man was most likely schitzophrenic. Though she wasn't sure how bad it was, or if there were any other disorders. (Well, if you wanna call them that ... ) Daria had always hated that word. Disorder. How do we know that we ;normal' people were actually the ones who had disorders? Daria shook her head and looked up to find the man had moved. It didn't take long to track him to the back of the store where she hapened upon him pouring a bottle of Pepsi onto the floor. Not sure how to approach, Daria just walks up to him.

"Hi there." She spoke, looking at the puddle of pop on the floor. She had done a lot of research on this condition. Chances were that he was feeding someone. She crouches down on her haunches, looking at the end of the string. (Dog maybe?) She smiles at the puddle as if looking at an animal. "Who's this?" She asked, hoping not to offend the man.

[Darian Patterson]

Darian stepped backwards when he saw the woman appear. He found himself pressed against the glass of the refrigerators that wielded the many cans and bottles of soda, juices, and other various drinks. He didn't like strangers when they talked to him, usually. Girls, he didn't mind so much as males. He wasn't sure why he was more scared of men.

He relaxed a bit when she asked about Mikey. She could see him! Ha ha! Someone at last who understood him. Everyone always used to play tricks on him, say there was nothing there, only string. But she could see him. This was good, yes. "Mikey. Say hi, Mikey."

"Hello," Mikey said in Ian's mind, still drinking the soda.

"You see Mikey...yes?" Ian asked the woman a bit apprehensively.

[Daria Fallen]

Daria frowned when Ian stepped back. (Great, I scared him.) She berrated herself. But he seemed to perk up when she started talking to apparently Mikey. She frowns a little, not knowing how to answer. She didn't want to lie to him, but she also didn't want to patronize him. She knew that he believed Mikey was real. Maybe that's how she should answer. Yes! That was it.

"Sorry," She said as she stands up, quarking her lips to the side. She felt horrible. "I can't see him. But I know he's there." She assured the man. She meant it. She hoped that Ian knew she meant it. "His name is Mikey?" She asked, looking back down at the end of the string. "Can you describe him for me, please?" She asked. She always wished she could see what schitzophrenic people could see. She wanted to get into their world. See the world from their point of view. She suddenly started to wonder what Ian thought of what was going on. But one question at a time.

[Darian Patterson]

Ian's hopes fell when she said that she couldn't see Mikey. But... she believed he was there? It was almost too much for Ian's hyper-paced mind to handle. "Yes, Mikey...yes..." he said when she asked if his name was Mikey.

Describe him now, huh? "Um..." Ian looked down at the creature who was now just standing in the puddle of soda. "Black, yes. Purple alien marks, yes. He's an arrrrrr..." What was the word?
"Armadillo," Mikey answered for him.
"Armadillo! Yes, that's it. Armadillo."

Mikey was the one he turned to when he wasn't sure of what to say or do. He was reliable. Sure, the little creature had told Ian to kill someone, but Ian fully agreed with that decision. He agreed with all of Mikey's decisions. And maybe, just maybe, it was the only sanity that Darian had left.

"Mikey and Darian, yes. Yes, good. All good." Ian tried to push away the puddle of soda with his foot, but failed horribly and ended up just getting some in his shoe. He frowned. "Icky."

[Daria Fallen]

Daria felt horrible when it was clear that Ian was upset that she couldn't see Mikey. But perked up again when she told him that she believed he was there. (Oh, thank the spirits!) She smiles widely when he continues to describe him. She nods, her eyes dancing. "An armadillo! Wow. That's awesome." She commented. She looked back down at the string, her lips quarking ot the side once more in thought. "Hmmm ... " She looked around the store. Up and down the aisles until she found what she was looking for. A black and purple leash. Sure it was meant for a cat, but who cared?

She bent down and looked at the end of the string where she was sure Mikey stood. "Would you like this better, Mikey?" She asked him. Knowing it would be who she now knew to be Darian who would answer her, she looks up at the man for the answer. "It matches." She told him with a smile. "And I think it would be more comfortable than a piece of string, no?" She held the leesh out for 'Mikey' to inspect.

[Darian Patterson]

Mikey sniffed at the leash and then looked up at Ian. Ian thought that it was a very nice leash...but he liked string. String was so much prettier. That was why he had a roll of string in his backpack all the time. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he lost his backpack. The contents of it were constantly changing. It always held string and Butterfinger wrappers, though. Sometimes there would be a bottle of water, or a pair of scissors or some other shiney object.

"Tell her yes."
"Yes, Mikey likes. Here," Ian took the leash out of Daria's hands and knelt down. He untied the knot in the string and set the string to the side. After fastening the leash around Mikey's invisible little neck, Ian stood up and put the string in his backpack. Mikey made a cooing noise, indicating that he was happy. And if Mikey was happy, Ian was too.

Almost as if he forgot Daria was there, Ian headed down one of the isles. There wasn't any food in the isle he was in. Instead, there were things like cheap glasses and such. Something caught his eye and Ian let out a loud scream. He threw himself onto the floor and curled up into a ball, still screaming. The cause of his screaming?

A box of plastic spoons.

[Daria Fallen]

Daria smiled when Ian said he liked the leesh. "Oh, I'm so glad." She said, happy to please what she pressumed to be her new friend. She watched with awe and deep interest. She had one student in a class who was borderline schitzophrenic, which is what lured her to do so much research. But she had never been able to see someone who was as far into is as Darian was. It was fascinating.

When Darian moves to another aisle, she's not surprised that he had seemingly forgotten about her. She knew that Schitzophrenics had very short attention spans. She simply followed, glancing here and there. Until Ian went int oa fit. "Oh my god! Darian, are yo ualright??" She shouts, wondering what it was that had set him off. She ran to him and knelt beside him, not knowing what to do. She looked around frantically for what could have caused his fetal position. but she could never guess that it was a box of spoons. She puts her arms around Ian as best she can to protect him from whatever it was that had scared him. "It's alright, honey. I'm here. I"ll protect you." She said calmly. "But ... What am I protecting yo ufrom?" She asked. "Is it Mikey? Is something wrong with Mikey?" Suddenly, the invisible armadillo came to mind. (I hope not ... I can't do anything to help an invisible animal ... )

[Darian Patterson]

"No!!" Ian continued to scream, his hands covering his ears. The box of spoons were talking to him, each individual spoon having a voice. They mocked him, taunted him, pushing him to the edge. "Go away, go away, go away," he muttered between screams. He was rarely aware that Daria was even there. Thus, he wasn't telling her to go away. Just the spoons. Things always made fun of him, but spoons were the worst. They called him the meanest things you could ever think of. He hated them; he hated them all.

"Spoons...no spoons... GO AWAY!!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, his eyes still clenched shut. Ian moved an arm out and waved at the general spot where the spoons had been. He cracked open an eye to see Mikey sitting there watching him. "Mikey, help! Spoons bad. No good. All bad now. All bad!" Still, Mikey didn't move.

[Daria Fallen]

Daria frantically looked around at what he could possibly talking ... Well ... Yelling at. Okay, so it wasn't Mikey. Daria breathed a sigh of relief. Cause there was really nothing she could do to fix that. But Ian jsut kept screaming .... And then he finally gave her a little clue. (Spoons? Seriously?) Daria tried not to laugh. It was a little funny, except that it was making this fully grown man absolutely terrified.

Fast as a lightening strike, Daria finds the box of spoons (My god, no wonder he's freaking out ... ) She could imagine that one terrified him enough, but a whole box? She immediately grabbed the box of spoons and shouted at the box. "What the hell is wrong with you? Leave the man alone!!" The last word was more of a scream as the box of spoons flies throug hthe air to the other side of the store, crashing into ... Something. Daria didn't see. She was more concerned for the man on the floor.

[Darian Patterson]

Darian watched, still horrified, as she threw the spoons through the air, dissapearing out of sight. Their voices disappeared in his mind as they flew.

Very slowly, a tear running down his cheek, Ian sat up. "Sp-sp-spoons gone?" Ian whimpered, not able to help the stutter in his voice. He was trembling from fright as well, if that wasn't enough. Suddenly, he threw himself into Daria's arms, clinging on to her like he was a six year old. "No more, no more...all done...bad all gone..." he sniffled.

"There's chips in the next isle," Mikey said in his slow voice.
This caught Ian's attention. He pulled away from Daria, completely fine now as if the whole thing had never happened. "Chips. Goody goody." He walked into the isle next to the one they were in. Sure enough, there were chips. Ian opened up a bag of Doritos and sat down on the floor, munching away contently.

[Daria Fallen]

Daria sighs with relief when Ian calms down. She reached out and wiped the tear from his cheek. "yes, spoons all gone now. They can't hurt you." Daria just wrapped her arms around Ian tightly, not surprised at his reaction. She rocked him until he pulled back. Mikey must have said something because he looked in the direction of the end of Mikey's new leesh. "Chips ... Sounds good ..." She said ,trailing off as Ian moves to another aisle. She followed. "Mind if I have some?" She askes, poking her head into the aisle. "I'm hungry." SHe explained. Of course, the Butterfingers looked more apatizing. "Mmm. Butterfingers. My favourite." She mumbled and reached out for one.

[Darian Patterson]

Ian only glanced over as Daria came over into the isle with him. He was too engrossed in his chipeatingness to pay much attention to her. Until she spoke, that was. In reply to her question, he took one last chip out of the bag. He popped the one chip into his mouth and handed the bag to Daria. "Ships goo," he said with a nod, his mouth quite full.

“Buffinga!” He stood up hastily and went over to where Daria was. He struck out his hand like a snake attacking and grabbed the Butterfinger before she could. There were more behind the one he'd taken, though, so she could still have some. "Butterfingers good, yes. Goats. Yes. Butterfingers goats. Friends are goats. Butterfingers goats," he explained, unwrapping the candy bar.

"You like Butterfinger goats, yes?" He bit the end off of the bar, chewing it slowly.

[Daria Fallen]

Daria chuckled at his near childlikeness. It was refreshing. She didn't feel the need to be an adult around him. Her inner child, which never got to come out much, now had a playmate. Before Daria can say anything, the chocolate bar is gone from her hand. She would have objected, but Ian's words stopped her. (Goats?) But he explained without her having to ask. She stored the information away in her mind.

She answered his question with an emphatic nod. "Yes, very much so. They're my favourite!" She exclaimed, grabbing another one from the shelf and opening it. "So, Darian." She says through a mouthfull of Btterfinger. "Can I be your goat?" She asked, not hesitating for a moment with the odd wording. "I don't have any goats. They're all gone." She said, her words only wavering for a moment at the thought of what she had lost.

[Darian Patterson]

Ian’s face fell into a frown and he stopped chewing when she said all of her goats were gone. “Oh…yes. Goat you and me, yes. I don’t have goats. Never, nope. Mikey only goat, yes. Yes, only goat. Yes.” He slowly took another bite, trying to think if he ever has had any other goats besides Mikey. A name came to his mind.

Jon.

Jon...Jon... But who was Jon? He couldn't remember. He knew the name was important. Very important. His brain just wouldn't let him focus on any one thing for more than seven seconds. "Jon?" Ian said out loud without realizing it. Why did he link the name with being sad?

Ian looked down at the candy bar and, for once in history, put it on the floor without finishing it. Mikey could have it if he wanted. "Not good. No, not good."