A Great and Terrible Bother

[Plaidbutterfly]

With a deeply annoyed sigh, Elaine lifted her eyes to the sky and wondered what had posessed her to buy the discount mule.

Roughly every fifth step, the animal, only relatively lightly burdened with her hastily packed belongings, would stop in its tracks. Elaine would turn and glare at it and yank on its rope harness. By about the third yank it would shuffle onwards again. Five more steps - and then the whole process was repeated.

The dusty road, Elaine was noticing, seemed rather long. Her feet hurt. The longer she thought about it, the more she thought about all the important things she had forgotten - the good whisk! Her favourite shirt! - but all the things she had packed and didn't need - squid jerky? Why did she pack the squid jerky? She didn't even like squid jerky... but there it was, happily tucked in a bag on the mule's back.

Elaine gave another longsuffering sigh, patting down her frizzled hair. It was not shaping up to be a very good week, not at all. She had tried to comfort herself with the fact that tasting new and different cuisine would be interesting, and surely there would be someone who wanted a chef to satisfy their northern tastes, but with each sore step that cheerfulness was fading.

The mule stopped in its tracks, yet again.

Elaine's loud, vehement curse echoed to roar back at her, and especially at the mule. The mule just gave a self-satisfied snort.

[Akedhi]

The scream of a hawk is not terribly out of place, out here in the mountains. It means nothing. It would probably be prudent not to turn into a mouse at this moment, however. (Then again, why would she do that anyway?)

It's not so common for said hawk to dive at the mule and the half-elf leading it, close enough that she could have reached out and plucked a feather or two.

It's even less common for hawks to have wooden legs. Said wooden leg is tucked up against the hawk's breast, open clawed and ready for perching.

It's unclear how exactly the creature flies with the thing. Possibly it's made of a very light wood, or else it's hollow.

The bird screams again and settles in a tree.

[Plaidbutterfly]

Elaine flailed wildly as the hawk swooped for her, spluttering another myriad of language usually reserved for when she dropped a knife, hopping around batting half-heartedly for a moment at the bird. In the process, she dropped the rope lead to the mule. For its benefiet, it stood there instead of running away, looking wholly unimpressed at the whole spectacle.

Huumphing, Elaine nervously patted at her fluffy hair again, staring down the eagle as she did. Delicately, she removed two cheap brass hairpins from either side of her hair before holding them up, blithely assuming the glint was what the eagle was after: "See? Ha! They're mine! Mine! Payed good money for 'em! Besides," she noted bitterly, "You can't ruin my day, that's already done!"

Grumbling under her breath, she glared back at the mule, shoving her hairpins into her apron pocket. She picked up the rope lead again and yanked it, and as usual the mule didn't budge...

[Akedhi]

The hawk drops out of the tree and there's a moment where reality seems to bend and it hurts to look in its direction.

Then there's a tall, black-haired and black-clad elf standing there, arms folded, one eyebrow quirked and a smirk around his lips. The wooden leg is still there, but now considerably larger and differently shaped. (He doesn't know how it shifts with him, but he figures it's the same reason he doesn't lose his clothes in the process.)

"Why would I want junk like that?"

He appears amused.

"I was just saying hello."

[Plaidbutterfly]

Elaine blinked and squinted, obviously wondering how exactly the elf did that - the shapeshifting with leg, and especially clothes. SHE never got to keep her clothes, embarassingly enough... the quick race of a blush across her nose that faded as soon as it came was enough to make anyone guess at that.

"Why? Well, I dunno, maybe you'd like to keep your hair outta your eyes," she snapped back, looking extremely flustered. Forgetting again about the mule, she fumbled to put her hairpins back in her hair. (The mule quite contentedly began to munch at some trampled grass on the path.) "You sure have an awful strange way of saying hello, sir," she hurrumphed. "This some Temeris thing I don't know about, I gather?"

[Akedhi]

Perhaps it has something to do with her heritage - if she's only half-elf, shifting is probably harder for her than it is for him. (For him, think remembering to keep his heart beating. It's not something he thinks about, to be honest.)

He laughs and shakes his head.

"Hardly. I don't even live in Temeris."

He lives in the City of the Gods - it's just that it's much easier to fly out here and fly back in a day than it would be for a human to walk.

[Plaidbutterfly]

She raises an eyebrow and sighs, still in hand to hand combat with her hair. The mule munches, quite content.

"Not a Temeris thing, huh? Well! Certainly not from where -I- come from. What sorta city says hello to a person by clawin' at their face, then?" she grumbles, her ire now obviously fading somewhat into an act. If one looks closely at the corners of her mouth, one can see the tiny twitching start of a grin.

[Akedhi]

"If I had meant to claw your face, I assure you, I would not have missed."

Hmph. He has better aim than that - after all, he's been doing this for years, ever since his other form was capable of flight.

It's fun to dive at people - he used to play air-tag with other elves in the clan. Hasn't for a while, though, due to his self-imposed exile.

[Plaidbutterfly]

She frowns for a second, obviously a bit put off by his reaction. The start of a smile around the corner of her mouth dies.

"Hmph, well, glad you missed, then." Her grumpiness is less joking this time as she stuffs one hairpin in her mouth, holding it there to wrestle curls in place. "So 'oo are you, any'oo, goin' roun' swoopin' at people?" She tries to talk as best she can while holding a hairpin in the side of her mouth.

[Akedhi]

"My name is Reyn Livet-Kannar. And who are you, going around lecturing people who haven't done anything to harm you?"

He grins.

"And where are you going, with a mule that doesn't want to go and a bundle of junk?"

[Plaidbutterfly]

"Bundle of junk! Bundle of junk - why I - I'll have you know it's hard to get some of these spices even when you're trying for them, and they can make or break a dish - although I don't know why I packed the squid jerky to be honest, but -"

She stops spluttering, holding her hands out for a moment and taking a deep breath. Sighing, she seems to collect herself.

"Elaine! Elaine, that's who I am. Elaine Trawick. Yes. Good to meet you, sir."

[Akedhi]

"Reyn, not 'sir.'"

He rolls his eyes. Pauses.

"Squid jerky? Never mind. You're a cook? Hm."

That's interesting - he can't cook for the life of him, and he suspects that Tien is equally untalented.

"What are you doing out here?"

[Plaidbutterfly]

She pinches her nose delicately, as if develloping a headache.

"Yes. Yes, I'm a cook. A pretty decent one, if you believe what people tell me anyway." She pauses, running her tongue over her lips in slight nervousness. "Why am I out here? Eheheh. Er. Well. There were certain, um..." She pinches her nose a little harder, trying to think of a euphamism. "Complications? Complications. With my last job."

After a moment, she adds delicately, with a sense of gravity that doesn't quite fit: "They didn't like the roast swan very much."

[Akedhi]

In other words...

"You got fired."

He frowns. Maybe he doesn't want to take her home to his wife after all. Well, lover. They aren't married - neither has even mentioned the option. It would be complicated, to arrange a marriage between clans, you see.

"What was wrong with the swan?"

[Plaidbutterfly]

"Eer... well, not fired, exactly, but... umm... it was a very awkward situation, you see."

She laughs nervously, before saying in one very quick breath:

"Theswanwasthelord'sboyfriendandIaccidentallycooked'im."

For a perfect moment, everything seems to be very quiet before she adds hastily: "He tasted quite delicious, I might add, until the Lady of the place informed everyone just where she had gotten the swan to give to me from. And, of course, you know, I get fired for this." She sighs, tossing her hands up in the air as if exasperated at her own luck.

[Akedhi]

Reyn isn't sure whether to be more horrified about the 'boyfriend' part of the sentence or the part where the swan was an elf and humans ate him.

He settles for turning white, stepping back, and letting out a single incredulous sound.

"WHAT?"

He can't possibly have heard that right.

Any of it.

[Plaidbutterfly]

"Iknowisn'titterrible! And of course, you know, -I- had to get fired for all of this - but - oh well - new jobs, new possibilities, right?"

She completely skips re-explaining any of it, forging bravely on with a hysterically nervous laugh. The mule snorts, continuing to munch grass, sounding unamused.

[Akedhi]

Reyn shakes his head.

"You're worried about being fired? I wouldn't have fired you."

He folds his arms - he's seriously considering shifting and flying away before she decides to try roast hawk. (Hush. If she did it once...)

"I'd have turned you over to the clan and watched them gut you."

[Plaidbutterfly]

"Oh, like the Lady of the place wouldn't have had me dragged off to be killed if I didn't want to cook the swan she gave me! Psht, I didn't know where she got it from, thought she was just venting a little anger on the flock in the moat. Lady's crazy! I'm just the cook!" She says in a minor flustered explosion, lip quivering for a second before she starts fussing with her hair again in nervous habit.

"Well, anyway, the important thing is whoever the damn swan was I made sure he tasted great. And then got fired for it. Life's unfair, I tell you."

[Akedhi]

"Didn't you know there was a swan-elf in the manor? Are you that stupid?"

Reyn thinks that people in general (and humans especially) are complete dimwits, but come on now. If there was a swan hanging around the lord of the manor, it should have been obvious!

... it would be obvious to him, anyway. But then, he's not a cook. He's a woodcarver and drunk and soon-to-be father.

[Plaidbutterfly]

She blinks at him, gaping a bit in shock, and gives an admittedly clueless shrug.

"Well, he never flapped around MY head all proud of his feathers, eh! I stayed in the kitchens, he stayed... well, he stayed..." she frowns, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, he mostly stayed right by the Lord's side, and HE never came in the kitchens. Anyway, that's how it works, right? They don't know how to cook to save their lives -- err -- pardon -- you know what I mean. They don't know how to cook, I don't know how to govern, it all works out grand! Most of the time."

[Akedhi]

He shakes his head.

"... perhaps you are that stupid. All the same, I think I shan't be bringing you anywhere near my family."

With his luck, the child will be born with a particularly tasty sort of bird as its other form and the girl will end up roasting his baby for dinner.

Tien would kill him.

[Plaidbutterfly]

Her lip quivers a moment, as if he might have actually struck her with that remark, before she quickly bounces back to being flustered again. "I'm a cook! Politics isn't my business! I take whatever horrible things they've dug up this week and I make them into something edible, or most of the time rather good -" she pauses, gives a small injured sniff. "Bother. Well, if you ever need the services of a good cook who specializes in Northern delicacies, well, now you know me - although from the looks of it you're just another bachelor out wandering the world..." she snorts, eyeing him up and down before pawing at the rope lead to her mule. The mule eyes her patiently before, with a sigh, taking a half-step forward as she does, still munching on a mouthful of grass.

[Akedhi]

He laughs.

"I'm hardly a bachelor. And can I help it if it's more comfortable to take long flights than to deal with my very, very pregnant lady-love?"

Tien is a trifle... moody... these days.

Reyn finds it far simpler to go a-flying and bring her presents and things, rather than stay with her all the time.