Chewin' the Fat, [AU] [INVITE] Hades / Facilier / Frollo

[Genie]

*AU THREAD* CHEWIN' THE FAT This storyline is 'semi' AU' in that while the characters involved are all still canon, they're also 'off duty' here so to speak and know (or at last 'know of') each other. They're at the diner to kick back, chow down, chill out & chat about what's going on in their lives (and each others,) gripe, gloat and just have a good time.

Agrabah was wonderful and Agrabah was home but sometimes even a big blue, uh ... hang on a moment, just what was it that Iago had called him earlier on now? Pausing with one hand poised to pull open the diner's glass door, Genie's eyebrows drew together in concentration as he tried to recall the parrot's most recent cryptic insult - one of an apparently limitless supply he appeared to hold in reserve for close friends and special occasions. Finally remembering, he turned away from the door to zap up 'The Pocket Dictionary of the Djinn' and riffled rapidly through it until - "Oyyyy!" His innocent eyes widened, now that just wasn't nice at all! If what the dictionary said was true, Iago had apparently spent his formative years not in birdie kindergarten playing with bells and mirrors and sunflower seeds but in the more dingy, dodgy, downright salubrious back streets of old Singapore. Shuddering, Genie zapped the book away, he'd have to talk to Al that bird, he really wasn't suitable for mixed company!

Okay, where was he now? Oh yeah ...

Agrabah was wonderful and Agrabah was home but sometimes even a big blue, uh ... lug needed to take five and just get away from the seemingly endless demands for this, that and the other and enjoy a little quality 'me' time for a change. Okay, yes it was true that the whole point of a genie's life was to serve but sometimes - just sometimes - you got the sneaky feeling that people were taking you for granted. Grilled cheese sandwich at 2am? No problem! Colours run in the wash? Leave it to Genie! De-flea the monkey and bathe the big snarly kitty-cat? Ohhh, hold me back, I'd love to! Midnight time-hopping pressie-getting trip to Macy's 'cause you forgot the anniversary of your first date. Again? Ah why not, what else was a genie for?

Suddenly realising that he was was getting some very funny looks from the hostess on the other side of the door, the blue guy finally swept into Denny's (not to be confused with Lenny's a copycat franchise owned by the famous walking toy binoculars which had been closed down and quarantined two months previously after a rumour about their famous Scud-Burger could no longer be ignored by the authorities.) Genie looked around appreciatively, wow it had been a while since he'd come here and reassuringly, nothing had changed from the hostess herself through to the menu and even the ketchup stains on the waitresses shirts. Flashing the dinosaur-like woman (she looked like she kept the mascara industry in business) a mile-wide grin, he motioned that he could find his own table and moving swiftly across the room, seated himself at his favourite spot - a spacious wrap-around corner booth commanding a grand view of the entire restaurant plus a chunk of the parking lot.

Bouncing his eyebrows at the waitress who bobbed up to offer him a menu, Genie craned this way and that trying to spot any familiar faces among his fellow diners. The restaurant was only about half full, was that Mirage? Whoops nope, it was Rasoul! Hmmm, a familiar face all right but it wouldn't do him any good because the palace guard was still miffed by Genie swapping his shaving foam for depilatory cream so he wouldn't be likely to put that behind him and join his blue nemesis for a friendly supper. Sighing, Genie picked up the menu and pretended to read it when all the time his dark eyes were flicking to and fro across the room and then back to the door hoping to see someone who'd be happy (or as Iago might have put it 'stupid enough') to join him.

Milkshake or soda? Genie sighed again, 'me time' was just a little overrated when you innately craved company (or to put it more precisely, you craved an audience) and you hated eating alone. Resisting the urge to chew at his fingernails, he looked hopefully towards the door again, as far as company went, right now he'd settle for pretty much anyone.

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[OOC: hope this works for everyone, as there'll hopefully be plenty of cross character conversation etc, once we get going just jump in whenever you have muse don't wait for a posting order.]

[Hades]

No one liked work.

Correction: No one with all their sanity intact liked work.

Now, thinking back to some of his less-than-crowning moments, Hades wagered that he probably wasn't the picture child of sanity himself. He had, after all, dedicated his immortal life to trying to beat the unbeatable. He had, at one point, thought releasing the Titans was a really great idea.

Yeah, so he wasn't really a walking martyr for mental soundness, but the fact of the matter was: Hades didn't want to work for another minute. He did not have the patience to endure another round of soul-sorting. He needed a break, and at the risk of sounding like his glorious bumpkin of a brother, gosh darn it! He deserved one!

Therefore Hades thought long and hard about where he should spend this break of his. There were lots of places that crossed his mind, but in some cases they were too fancy - ugh, dressing up? No thanks - or even too dull - fries with a side of hairballs wasn't what he called appetizing.

He didn't even really need to eat. It was one of those nice perks to being an immortal. You could eat, if you really wanted to, but it wasn't actually a requirement. Same with sleep - Hades liked to whine about wanting naptimes, but in all honesty he didn't ever get physically tired. He just got in a state of mental exhaustion that was easiest to relieve by a catnap.

In this case, he just needed to do something besides a Godly duty for a few hours. Something interesting, or at least entertaining that could kill an afternoon before he trudged back down to the Underworld and got started again.

Appearing in front of Denny's during the dinner rush wasn't quite what he had thought he had in mind, but the subconscious teleportation gig had never led him stray before. Besides, now that he got a whiff of the unhealthy mismatch of carcinogenic (or so he suspected), high-fat pieces of Olympus itself, Hades found himself drifting through the door with an inclination towards eating until he exploded.

It was, of course, his typical luck that the place was crammed with people he didn't want to associate with. If he sat alone, someone was gonna see him and come over. Probably someone he'd never be caught dead with, if we're being honest here. Therefore, he'd have to sit with someone... someones. Let's see... he could choose the hero's corner and spend a meal with various do-gooders trying to stick their forks in his eye. Because that sounded like the most fun he'd ever have. Then there was the villainous side of the joint, which looked even less appealing - stuffed full of has-beens and wannabe's.

Or he could meander around aimlessly, looking like a sheep in search of its dysfunction, inbred flock.

Or, Hades thought with mounting irritation, he could just close his eyes and sit at the first table he made his way to. His supernatural entertainment senses could be trusted to find the most promising spot in the lousy crowd after all. He trusted his senses enough to close his eyes and throw himself down at the first seat he reached.

Opening his eyes, Hades decided his senses were playing a cruel, sadistic, completely not-funny-at-all gag on him. That, or Denny's was attracting more than just overweight soccer mom's that didn't feel like cooking dinner. Namely psychopathic looney-bin cast-offs. Personally, he was torn between both options. There was also that little, unimportant but extremely attractive thought of standing back up and running far, far away. Preferably to a country that had a public ban on the color blue.

His stomach snarled once, as if in reprimand that he dared suggest leaving this glorious house of deliciousness all because of one psychotic, semi-natural-disaster disguised as a genie. Hades could handle this in the name of portion sizes better suited for small elephants. Maybe if he chewed loud enough, he could just tune the ugly blue lummox out.

"I'm sittin' here." Hades said at last, as if it wasn't already completely obvious. "You're sitting there." He pointed across the table at his unlikely dining partner, with a reasonably terrible scowl that explained without a doubt that Hades would find some way to jam him into an active volcano if his personal space was breached. "It was this or gettin' the great honor an' privilege of sharin' a table with a member of the villainous misfit factory." He cast a glower at some of them; ugh, how did a bag of bugs even get to be a villain? What was happening to standards of the industry? Soon enough they'd have the bad guys switching sides, and the good guys turning evil, and at that point Hades would willingly stick his head in the Styx and hope for a quick and painless death.

Not that he probably wouldn't reach that point in the next hour or less.

Rather than doing the reasonable thing of waiting for a waitress to meander over, Hades extended a shadowy arm and grabbed a menu for himself from another table, pulling it back and grinning every time it slapped an unsuspecting diner on the back of the head. Pulling it open, he glanced through the choices, painstakingly avoiding the sight of the maniac in front of him. Maybe he'd get bored at walk away. Maybe he'd disappear. Maybe a truck would magically fall onto his head.

"Ugh, why do they give these things such stupid names? What kinda place is this? Super bird? Why would anyone wanna eat a super bird? I don't wanna eat a super bird." Muttering to himself in disgust, he abandoned the food, flipping instead to the list of drinks and pondering with all his Godly might on what kind of milkshake he wanted.

OoC|| ]: I swear it grew all by itself. I fed it after Midnight.

[Genie]

Having gotten bored with staring at the door, Genie had ordered a 'Blender Blaster' milkshake and taking a couple of swift pulls as he perused the menu, had immediately begin trying to beat his personal best time for reassembling the hopelessly smushed pieces of cookie now inside his mouth. It was a complicated business made even more so by the stringent ruling that <a> you couldn't tell anyone what you were doing; <b>] you had to keep a perfectly neutral closed-lips expression at all times while your tongue was going into overdrive and <c> speaking of tongues that was it, strictly tongue only - no hands, spoons, outside influences or Swiss army knives! As far as sports went this was one he usually fared well at and there was nothing to beat the delighted look on your waitress' face when you opened your mouth and scrolled out your tongue to show her the perfectly reassembled if somewhat damp Oreo. Genie's personal best was... well actually he wasn't telling, but only because he suspected Carpet would try to beat it.

Happily absorbed, his eyes flicked through the menu and as if to prove that fate did indeed have a sense of humour, had just reached the section headed 'Let's get Cheesy' when reaching for his glass again he realised that someone had joined him, and even better - it was someone he knew! Before the blue blabbermouth could speak however, his new companion - possibly anxious to prevent any repeat of incidents past - began to lay out what he clearly felt were some essential ground rules all of which went in one of Genie's pointy blue ears and straight out the other due to the fact that upon meeting Hades' eyes it was all he could do not to break into giggles as the phrase "Flop two, over hard" immediately came to mind.

Having laid out his terms, Hades retired grumbling to the menu where straight away he found something else to gripe about. Genie, having abandoned his record breaking Oreo attempt since there was clearly a more fun 'boredom buster' option now available, watched him closely. The poor guy seemed pretty on edge but maybe he was just extra hungry or he'd been stood up by Aphrodite again or (far more likely in Genie's opinion) his orthodontist was on a l-o-n-g vacation but hey, never mind any of that, he was here now so let the good times roll! Oblivious as ever the djinn launched straight in with a mile-wide grin and stretching an arm across the table, made to slap Hades heartily on the back, helpfully nudging the pot of toothpicks towards him with his other hand as he did so. "Hades! Long time no see buddy! How ya doin'? Pushed big brother off a cliff yet or - oooh wait, wrong movie. Say, are y'still working the night shift down in Wonderland or did that thing with counselling the cheerleader nymphs work out? I can imagine you there with your pom-poms and coconut oil and -" Suddenly remembering that he'd come across that choice tidbit (in other words the half-completed job application form) whilst illicitly going through Hades' closet that time he was lost in the Underworld and that up until this point in time Hades didn't know he knew (whoops) Genie decided to change the subject. Finally catching Hades' unwilling eye he bounced his eyebrows challengingly, "Sooooo which milkshake's it to be buddy? Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry or are ya feelin' lucky, punk triple tomato salsa?" he waggled his eyebrows again, "Ah g'wan, you know ya want one!"

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[OOC: thought I'd pop another one in just so we don't end up having to do one of those 'answer everyone in one go posts' hope that's okay. (plus I'm going to be a bit scarce till the weekend's over here now.)

Jack, love, love LOVED the post! =D

[Claude Frollo]

Confound it all!

How dare those little brats have the nerve to send applesauce flying, soiling his expensive velvet robes in such a manner! Frollo grumbled in annoyance while trying to work the modern contraptions in the men's room. Everything worked by magic it seemed, the fully modernized chamber pot, the sink and even that odd thing that blew out hot air. Someone like him could be stuck for hours on end in here just trying to make the water flow forth! The whole week had been grueling with various court sessions, mounds of paper work, rulings to pass, tortures to supervise and so on. By the end of it all the judge was so weary. A much deserved break was needed. It was in the late hour that he had allowed himself to enter this greasy spoon, trying to just ease his mind over a cup of tea. The infernal children at the next table however had other plans in mind. These locals infuriated him to no end! A deep breath exhaled from the judge as he was finally successful in ridding his robes of the sticky sweet concoction.

Venturing back out while smoothing down the somewhat damp, but now clean robes, he stopped by the register to inform the waitress he would need to be situated at a different table. Far from little vermin who were practicing their aim with their food. The waitress rolled her eyes as she looked up at him, but gestured for him to follow her. It was while heading towards the back of the restaurant, two individuals stood out like a sore thumb amongst the locals. The large blue one, a djinn, he knew he had encountered somewhere before. And the other....good Lord, there was no mistake about him! It was the Lord of the Underworld himself, Hades. Briefly Frollo thought to just find some table in the darkest of corners and be done with it, but that's where he had been dwelling for most of this evening. His only companion was the suffocating four walls of his judicial chambers while he worked diligently on his various documents. Standing out in the open like this most likely had already alerted his presence to them. Perhaps it would not be so terrible to converse with both gentleman for the time being. With a small eye roll he let the waitress know he would be joining the two interesting characters. The woman showed no look of surprise, it was if she expected this of him.

"Fine, whatever. Can I get you something else beside that tea you ordered?"

Frollo sneered towards her curt tone while snatching hold of one of the menus at the table right next to him, much to the shock of its local occupants. His narrowed eyes soon widened while perusing over the strange titles of the food choices. Lumberjack slam, The Grand Slamwich, Belgian Waffle Slam and the ever popular, Moons Over My Hammy....mon Dieu! The judge could feel his stomach tumble in knots at even attempting to digest such a greasy mess! Granite orbs lit up at the section for soup, that seemed safe for now. Tossing the menu back down at the table beside him he told the waitress a cup of vegetable beef soup will suffice for now. The woman nodded her head with that same "whatever expression" again, turning to head back to the kitchen while Frollo glided closer to the table of both Genie and Hades.

"Good evening.....would either of you mind if I accompanied you both? My last table was a bit of a disappointment."

The judge flicked his eyes in the direction of the unruly children on the far end of the restaurant, who still were acting up. The table behind them, where the judge had occupied some time before, was now badly covered in various particles of food imaginable.

[Genie]

"Good evening.....would either of you mind if I accompanied you both? My last table was a bit of a disappointment."

Genie had been so absorbed in trying to get Hades to take the milkshake bait that he hadn't even noticed the robed figure come stalking up the between the tables and halt in his peripheral vision. Being Genie however, it didn't take him long to get a hold of the situation and turning to face the silver-haired man, recognised him immediately as Judge Frollo (although quite where he recognised him from was another matter entirely. Hmmm, now where was that? Possibly some late night info-mercial for slimming chocolate, turbo cookers or all-in-one pyjama suits (with feet!) His black eyes glittered with amusement, nah, he knew who Frollo was all right, the guy's reputation preceded him!

A huge smile spread across Genie's face, "Aw Judge, we'd love to have ya come an' join us wouldn't we, buddy?" He darted Hades a quick look but swept on before he could interject, "But, as you can see ..." he left the last syllable hanging as with a series of smoky bursts four half-sized but otherwise duplicate Genies burst up out of nowhere to fill in the spaces around the booth, "... it'd be a bit of a tight squeeze!" For a beat or two, all five of the Genies started unblinking at the Judge, before as one, dewy-eyed and angelic, the four duplicate 'Genie JRs' swivelled their attention back to Hades, setting up a noisy clamour as they vied for his attention and tried to clutch at his chiton.

"Aww he's all alone!"
"Look at his sad little face!!"
"He's hungry!"
"Aw Dad, he followed me here, can we keep him?"

Instantly all four set to with a vengeance in a plaintive, whining chorus, "Yeah Pa, can we?" ... "Can we Dad?" ... "Pop? Huh?" ... "Huh Dad?" ... "So can we keep him Dad?" ..." He won't eat much, Pop!" ... "Aw say yes Dad!" ... "Pleeeeease Pa, pleeease?" ... "Dad! Dad! Dad!" ... "Oh Pop, look at his little eyes!" ..."Dad, I'll clean my room, Dad!" ... " Pa! Pa? I'll be good." ... "I bet he doesn't shed much, Dad." ... "So can he stay with us Pop?" ... "Dad?" ... "DAD?" ... "DAAAAAAAD!" Their noise was seemingly endless.

Having left his mini-me's to work on Hades, Genie had returned his attention to the menu but he looked up suddenly as fresh movement behind the astonished Frollo caught his eye and with a snap of his fingers and a flash, the duplicates had vanished back into thin air. Grinning broadly, Genie looked at the Judge again and hurried on before Hades (who in any case needed to get out more) could get a word in to stop him. "Ah Claude, now you should have told us you'd brought a friend along. Of course you can join us!" With a wave of his hand he indicated the now empty places but before Frollo could be seated next to him the newcomer who had been peering over the Frenchman's shoulder slunk past and plonked himself firmly down instead, leaving Frollo to take the only available seat remaining right next to patently 'we are not amused' Lord of the Underworld...

[Dr Facilier]

Slipping past the darkly robed gent with all the suave swagger of his usual self, Dr Facilier provided stark contrast to Frollo in that rather than enquire about the available spaces, he simply filled it. Sitting down with an air of emphasis which could only be described as a tired threat, the Shadowman slid into the available space without a word, taking a moment to let his shadow set his cane beneath the table and slide one of the abandoned menus closer for inspection.

He didn't really know if sitting so close to Genie was truly wise: the loud blue lout was nothing if not persistent with his unique brand of magic, and was more prone than any other person he knew - human, genie or otherwise - that could use it to such irritating, humiliating effect; in fact, the noisy duplicates which had attracted him to the table in the first place should have been measure enough of the mischievous djinn's attitude today. That said, when it came between a creature who could deafen you in one ear and leave you more or less disorientated but no worse for wear, and....well, the god of the Underworld looking as jolly as he did right now...he judged the safer bet being to stick with the mostly harmless lump and hope he didn't start anything he wasn't prepared to finish. It was all too likely that the unfortunate Olympian was here for the same reason as he.

Speaking of which, it wasn't like he desperately wanted to be here; considering how almost all of the patrons had stared unblinkingly as his ominous figure crept through the diner, the voodoo witchdoctor would have had half a mind to turn back and find somewhere with a warmer reception. Probably would have, if not for the perennial growling in his stomach insisting he eat something, and soon; now of course, it just had to be on the same day that he decided to sit with others of his own ilk that this eclectic mixture had shown up. So much for a day to unwind.

"Oh, I didn't come with him" affirmed the bokor a little too sternly, more in the hopes that disassociation would save him from Genie's attention than by any fault of the Judge. Violet eyes flicked back up to the silver-haired priest for a beat, registering any expression of surprise, disgust or agreement before returning to the menu with more rapt attention than before. Sliding over the faux leather surface like an oil slick, his shadow writhed and curled in uncomfortable silence whilst its master focussed on interpreting the inane titles of the dishes, thankful in some small part for the descriptions below.

Of course, it wasn't like he had any money to afford whatever he was going to order, but heck, between a God, a Genie and a Minister, he'd have someone to pick the tab up for him, whether by choice or chance. His gaze hovered just over the brim of the menu to give Hades a quirk of the brow. "Rough day, hm?"

[Hades]

As usual, it had been less than ten minutes with his least favorite blue psycho and Hades was actively imagining the joy of having someone shovel out his ear canals with a spoon. Anything to make the yakkity-yakkity-yakkity action stop. It was a bit like someone had taken a kitten, shoveled twelve pots of coffee into its mouth, held it down for two days on a straight caffeine IV and had then decided to give it magical powers before setting it fondly free.

"Shove who off'a cl-- what nightshif-- Did what work out?!" His flame turned an even brighter shade of red each time he was cut off, and Hades' nails began to dig into the table and carve out ten nasty-looking grooves. "Maybe if you'd be quiet, I could actually look and see what I want! Ai chihuahua! This is why you can't have anythin' nice! You're a mental ca- Sorry, what was that? I feel like I'm caught in the shadow of the ultimate depression." He glanced slyly at Frollo and feigned surprise, clapping a hand to his cheek. "Oh, hey! I was in the shadow of the ultimate depression!"

He looked beyond Frollo at the table he had gestured at, and a smirk crawled across his lips. However, before he could get in another clever remark, he was surrounded on all sides by four Genie-duplicates screaming bloody murder into his ears. Alternating between flailing away and trying to fry the annoying imps into oblivion, Hades was certainly not listening to a word anyone else was saying. What was more important in his mind was the fact that all he could hear was the howler-monkey noises coming from the Great Blue Battalion.

He was glowing solid red from head to toe by the time they vanished, with a fireball in each hand and a livid expression on his face which didn't diminish even as he regained his normal coloring. "Hey! Whoa! Hold up a minute, I didn't exactly sign up for a party here!" Hades groused, throwing up his hands as if fearing these two mortals might have some sort of disease. "Come on. What's up with this, really? What'd I do t' deserve sittin' next to Captain Misery? No offense, Wrinkles, but hey, if self help books were made for anybody, they were made for you, pal."

Already aware that the battle had been lost, Hades sighed darkly and glanced down at his menu again. Every few seconds he cast a glower at the blue idiot opposite him, but for the most part he tried to figure out what he could stomach in the presence of this much stupidity.

Looking at Facilier, Hades scowled immediately. "A rough day is when I have a backlog of two hundred dead souls driftin' through my office, Kid. A rough day is when I have two meetings schedules for one time. Dealin' with that," He gestured rudely at Genie. "Is not a rough day. It's a unholy terror pretending to be a day!" With a burst of red fire, Hades turned back to his menu with a loud, disgruntled sigh. "Ch... rough day, he says..." He muttered in disbelief.