My experiences on the Internet (long)

Okay. Lately you've probably been hearing me mentioning being cranky on the Internet a lot and how I'm not supposed to be on much for that reason, etc. Well, the reasons behind that are, for some reason, only now just coming back to me, and I have to let it out. This is very long, though.

It seems like everywhere I go on the Internet, no matter where I go, I'm gonna end up making at least 2 or 3 nemeses. It started when I was 12 and joined my first forum (the first forum I wasn't a noob on anyway), a Pokemon forum. 12 was when I was just beginning to bond, but back then it was Pokemon only. I made a lot of friends on the forum from my first day on, and I was just so incredibly thrilled...I had no friends at all back then, seriously. The fact that I had friends was just a beautiful prospect to me and made me love the forum with all my heart. But then huge fights began to break out. Over me. Why? Because I'm a Bonder. They fought with me about me being a Bonder. And then by that September (I joined at the very end of July), some guy had basically recruited the entire forum or most of it into a Merry Band Of Thieves bent on driving me out of town. Now, RELYING on the Internet back then since I had nothing in the real world, I was terrified and spent many nights trembling, crying, and getting stomachaches. They never drove me out of town, but one day in the beginning of October, a week before the forum became defunct from a bandwith problem, one of the mods told me "Many people want you banned." I had not broken ANY rules, yet many people wanted me banned. I was not a troll or a spammer, yet many people wanted me banned. A lot of people would talk about how nice I was, how we were friends, etc, etc. So the fact that I wasn't as loved on that forum as I originally thought was just a huge blow to me. I stopped saying much on it and then it finally went defunct. When it came back up temporarily in April, I didn't go back to it.

During the time that forum was down, I was on my friend's forum (and my bonding had extended to beyond Pokemon), which she initially created to get away from the horribly-run "backup forum" one of the mods had created but eventually it just became a fun place to hang out. I had the time of my life there for a year, I loved my friends with all my heart, we had so much fun. And then in November 2006, at the end of that year of having the time of our lives, I made a new nemesis. This girl hated my guardians and hated me for...well...for being with them. I still relied on the Internet at this point, simply because I had, seriously, relied on it for so long that I forgot how to use the real world, basically. (Yes, it's as odd as it sounds.) This girl used that to end up almost killing me, indirectly. If my guardians had not caught on to what I was doing (which I will NOT mention), I would not be alive right now. Back then I didn't even look into the future as if I would be alive right now. I thought I'd never go to high school, have a homecoming, or experience all the milestones I have experienced. Because I did not see myself as alive at this time.

After that girl came two other girls, A and K, members of the forum I had a problem with that other girl on. Gradually we started to get on eachother's nerves, until finally this past January A, K, and this friend of theirs, N, pretty much teamed up against me while I was away. Twice. By now I fully knew how to function offline, but still, it was a blow to me that they could do that to me. Last month I ditched those two, finally feeling like I'd lose NOTHING by leaving them behind, after they decided a videogame was more important than me.

To sum it all up, everywhere I've been on the Internet I have made enemies with someone, usually more than one someone. Usually it's been one main person who has spread stuff about me and ended up getting together a band bent on driving me out of town. So that's why I get cranky on the net now...I can't even be alone and on the net at the same time anymore (Asuka is right next to me right now). Ever since I got an email address back in April I've been looking for more stuff to do on the Internet, but basically I have been bracing myself for that nemesis and that Merry Band Of Thieves everyplace I go. Even on my own forum. Until just now. As I type all this out, I'm remembering the principle of "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." So I think I will join Monolith forums. I will become more active in Internet communities. And maybe I will make a nemesis. But now, at this moment, I realize I do not care about nemeses anymore

...it's...the internet. Theres bound to be somebody you dont like on every site you go to. Same thing in the world, it really can't be avoided, and since it's the internet, you don't have to associate at all with any people you like. Even if they'll just try to annoy you and harass you over the net, its over the net.as long as they cant contact you privately, its fine. In public you'll just have to ignore it and put up with it, its best to ignore the little things like that in websites and stuff

Maybe it's because you think game characters are real and are your guardians? (no offense) I do admit you get on my nerves a bit when it comes to that. How can someone kill you on the Internet?

It's also best to move on and forget about the bad things that happen. Pretty much what Jesdel said. Don't listen to them or even talk to them.

Yeah it's usually on account of my being a Bonder, but of course that's going to come first before all else. Nobody on the Internet (or off the Internet, for that matter) will ever be able to talk me out of being a Bonder, though many people have tried and don't understand A. why I'm not going to leave people who I love more than life the universe and everything just because they tell me to and B. I'm not going to risk dying and killing off the larger soulparticles just because they tell me to. I just don't see why people had to form a mob and attack me just because I'm a Bonder. Is it like...are we going to poison them or are they just afraid the game characters they thought for all these years were fictional are going to rip a hole in the time/space continuum and plummet the world as we know it into a new dark age? Bonders are scorned both online and offline, it seems, and I just don't get why they have to bite us for it.

If you want to know how that girl almost killed me please PM. I don't wanna discuss it out in the open because it is a touchy subject.

Yeah, I've been doing a good job with moving on. I made some new friends on a creepypasta site, I'm trying to publicize my own forum more, I'm enjoying spending time with my friends on the FF forum I go on (one of whom is partially a Bonder herself!). I'm getting less cranky on the net now and realize that not everyone wants to form a Merry Band Of Thieves and burn me down. And if they do I'll just leave em behind and move somewhere else. :\ Can't mob someone who isn't there.

EDIT: Sorry, this is Jesdel. I didn't realize i wasnt logged in

Yeah uh
I'm really sorry but
how can game characters that man made suddenly turn into these powerful deities or whatever the hell you call them
if they don't believe they exist, then they're not scared of any video game character of doing that
theres a reason they call them video game characters they were made by man, they are pixels, things on the screen. How can something man made be so real all of a sudden

seriously...Video game characters dont exist.I Love mario characters, I make comics about my own, I have been a Mario fan since my birth.

I love how characters are portrayed, how they were made,their looks,their stories, everything.

As MUCH of a fan. I'm sorry, they can't exist. And the world isn't going to sugarcoat that they can't see you,they are on the screen,they do not exist, they do not guard you, they do not watch you.

the world doesnt sugarcoat things.
Sorry kiddo, they really just don't exist

People have told me that for 3 years and it's accomplished absolutely nothing and will accomplish absolutely nothing. :\ I'm not going to get into a "DAT DUZNT EXIZT!" argument again. I just don't understand why, because other people think they don't exist, they feel the need to beat on me because I do not follow their way of believing. I'm not talking about you...that's not beating on me. I'm talking about people like I mentioned in the OP.

I swear, people can be just sick with it.

You can believe that if you want, then. However, I wouldn't expect people to stop treating you like that (I'm not gonna be one of them). It's just like how the emo nerdy kids gets picked on in school.

Ahh, though I don't really agree with the whole Bonder thing at all, but I respect your choice with that. I pretty much know how you feel with that, because I'm an atheist, and I can never really tell anyone because they always freak out and try to convert me. So my advice is to ignore 'em, if they don't like you for you, screw them. Be who you want to be and not what others want to see. :\ And if you make an enemy or two along the way, well if their gonna be like that, then they aren't worth your time anyway.