Pokemon Emerald: Random Edition

[Spivsy]

I found a program called the Pokemon Emerald Randomiser, which is a fun little device which lets you choose which pokemon you want as a choice for your starter. It also has a 'random' option, meaning you could get anything, and it lets you randomise the wild pokemon. Unfortunately from what I can gather after trying it out, you can't find all 350+ pokemon on what route. if a route has 5 pokemon on it normally you'll still only find 5 pokemon, just not the same ones.

So this is a playthrough of what could be the easiest, or hardest, game of pokemon.


And so our story begins.


Jesus, mom. Did we bring any furniture? This place pokésucks. I'm going next door to steal some of their stuff.


Shit! Bail out! She found me!


The power of your stomach is staggering! Oh burn!
Okay, suppose I should leave this shithole of a town and go make some real cash, selling my body for loose change.


That guy looks like he might have some money, I think I'll rifle through his stuff.


A NIDOWHATNOW?


A TYPHUUUHSION?


OMANOWAY!


lets fuck 'em up, Omanyte. We'll show this Zigzagoon the true meaning of the word pain!


By hugging it tightly and then leaving.

--lengthy battle scene where many lives are lost--

After that intense battle, I need to give this omanyte a name that will let all others know he's not to be trifled with!

okay maybe not


That's more like it!


While I'm here I may as well have a look what's lurking in the grass. Probably something like a sentret. Maybe a taillow.


mother

fucking

METAGROSS.

Surely this is just a fluke, there can't be possibly be pokemon that good on the FIRST ROUTE.


fother

mucking

ZAPDOS.

When I get pokeballs I am catching the shit out of that. But first, I need to go beat a small girl at pokemon.

I wonder what pokemon she's got, maybe she took the nidorina, or maybe she got something completely different like a lugia, or a psyduck


Oh. A treecko.

Wait, hold on...Treecko is a grass type, I'm a rock/water type...
I'M GONNA GET MY ASS KICKED!


hm okay maybe not.

NOW GIVE ME POKEBALLS

THANK YOU.

[Spivsy]

LETS CATCH ME A ZAPDOS!!


You are not a zapdos!




YOU ARE NOT A ZAPDOS.




Neither are you!!


That'll teach you to be the wrong species!


YOU'RE NOT A ZAPD- oh no wait yes you are


That's okay, I got more balls (heh)


That's okay, I still got another one... (oh yeah I also caught a bellsprout)


god damn it.

ONE HEAL LATER.

aw hell naw.


oh hell no.


I'd better make these last, I guess.


Well at least I didn't use any pokeballs. NICE WORK KILLING WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR BROTHER, STEVE.


my pokeball did not work, and for that you must die.



and 2 failed pokeball attempts later



So from what I can gather, the wild pokemon still keep their catch ratios. Which means the 'high leveled' and legendary pokemon are gonna be pretty hella difficult to catch using pokeballs. It'll be tough to condition myself into doing so, but I may have to... KILL ALL THE STRONGEST POKEMON, AND CATCH ONLY THE WEAK.

[Jesus lizard]

This looks like it will be fun. Love your narration.

[Ebe]

Unbalanced and crazy, also killing Latias with things like a Bellsprout is pretty funny.

Why the name Gatekeeper?

[Spivsy]

I was thinking about ghostbusters

[xolta]

Aww yeah briddemic reference. Also this is rather funny pleases do more of it.

[SmashedPumpkin]

Your narration is a thing.....the most beautiful thing.

Where can you find this program, anyway?

[Cuttlefish Pistachio]

Right here.

[Spivsy]

Yeah pal, what's u-OH HOLY SHIT, I JUST SAW A KOFFING!


I named him Colonel as a reference to nuclear war. lol not really


god can't anyone in this town do anything themselves?
-fight scene-

awesome, I can't wait to catch someth-


oh.

RUSTBORO CITY YO

CACTURNE YO


A rock type gym? Pfft, please. I have 2 water types and 2 grass types, I'm gonna own this shit.


that was a practice


that was a practice


that was a practice


that was a practice


PRACTICE.

so the gym leader's a cheater, I'm going to explore the town


Score! Another pokeball I can waste!


wooooo!


...is he coming on to me?


RRRRROOOOOOXAAAAAAAANE!!!!!!



NNGH!


OOF!


POW!


HONK!


WHO'S BAD? WHO IS BAD? THAT'S RIGHT, I'M BAD.

[xolta]

Santa Claus the caturne had me laughing for i a good solid minute.

[SmashedPumpkin]

All right, I gave this a try, and ended up with a Raikou as my starter. Which will probably make me feel bad later, because Raikou's special attack and defense are off the charts for a level 8-9 pokemon. I also found Latias on Rt. 101, though there was no way I was gonna actually catch it.

The only problem I can find with this is that you can find 2nd and 3rd stage pokemon in the wild, while I'd much rather get the 1st stage one and evolve it up. It bugs me to let a Machamp go because I haven't even found a Machop yet.

Also, level 3 Machamp. wat.