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-ALL TEXT TRANSCRIBED DIRECTLY FROM TAPE RECORDING FOUND BURIED NEAR [UNDISCLOSED]-
--*muffled tapping* I-is this thing- Okay, okay. --*heavy breathing* My... my name is Wyatt Hill. I am a- --*crackling noise* What the...? Oh, just a... just a squirrell. Ahem; My name is Wyatt Hill and I am a huMON. I'm at [UNDISCLOSED], near the [UNDISCLOSED] river. I- I just got out of the MON center. The- Oh, shit. --*muffled voices, footsteps in tall grass* Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god... --*gunshot* --*muted breath, voices dissappear* I have- I mean we have to g-go. They got Rick. They'll be searching for me. I'm going to- Shit! --*silence* Oh, god damn it... I stepped on a thorn. They'll be looking for where that yell came from. --*heavy breathing, unidentified 'rattling' sound* --*inaudible yelling, gunshots* Fuck! My le- --*loud crackling, voices come nearer* --*quiet panting* (whispered) I-i-i'm not going back to the MON center. Aw, shit. --*rattling sound* --*yelling, screams, gunshots* --*heavy breathing, feet crunching on dry twigs* Ha ha! I gave those motherfuckers the- --*gunshot* ugh! --*gunshot* --*rattling noise* Augh... This close. I was this close to being back in the MON center.
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-ALL TEXT TRANSCRIBED DIRECTLY FROM TAPE RECORDING FOUND BURIED NEAR [UNDISCLOSED]-
--*coughing* Fuck... --*scraping noise* --*blowing* Ah, finally. It's... it's about 9:30 now. I don't know where I am, but they aren't here. --*scraping* So that's good. --*cracking twigs, fire crackling* Heh heh! This is the first... the first good thing to happen since I got out of the MON center. I've got a radio. --*static* --*unclear music* I've gotta keep this quiet... --*low buzzing noise, boices* Okay, okay, okay... [UNDISCLOSED]... Oh, damn it... The gym's right there. I'll be a sitting duck. --*voices* --*static* --*rustling vegetation* I guess I know where I'm going. --*exhaling*
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QUOTE (Cosbydaf @ Aug 3 2012, 04:45 AM)
Not to be rude, but I think this could be better if we got more of a description of what's going on here instead of sound effects.
You're supposed to piece it together yourself, but I do admit that this genre/type of story is annoying to write and read. I'll probably retcon everything that's happened so far into backstory or something later on and continue the story with a more conventional format.
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QUOTE (Pyro-Gibberish @ Aug 3 2012, 12:01 AM)
You're supposed to piece it together yourself, but I do admit that this genre/type of story is annoying to write and read. I'll probably retcon everything that's happened so far into backstory or something later on and continue the story with a more conventional format.
We're not given much to piece together except that there's this dude who escaped from somewhere and he's running from people that are shooting at him while he's talking into a recorder.
But since you mentioned that you'll be changing the format, I'll wait and see where it goes.
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dodoman1 : They had a massive bone in their penises that let them mate for hours at a time
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QUOTE (Cosbydaf @ Aug 3 2012, 05:09 AM)
We're not given much to piece together except that there's this dude who escaped from somewhere and he's running from people that are shooting at him while he's talking into a recorder.
But since you mentioned that you'll be changing the format, I'll wait and see where it goes.
I suppose you're right. It'll be explained in the part after this one, which is where I'll be format-swapping.
-ALL TEXT TRANSCRIBED DIRECTLY FROM TAPE RECORDING FOUND BURIED NEAR [UNDISCLOSED]- --*heavy breathing* --*echoing voices* Oh, god... --*silence* --*footsteps* Oh, god, oh, god, oh, go- --*yelling* D-don't take me back to the MON cen- --*thump, rattling noise* No! please, please just let me- --*scraping noise, gunshot* --*sounds get further off* --*whooshing sound, crackling*
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July 22nd Those were the contents of the tape discovered by the hunting party. Apparently a huMON escaped from the MON center. The tape recording was buried at the [UNDISCLOSED]. Jeremiah doesn't want anybody else to listen to the tape recording, but I and a handful of others heard it all before he got a hold of it. I'm starting to think he's not the best leader of this camp. He nearly got as captured, and Mary lost her leg to a Rattletrap. The tape did say something about a refugee town in [UNDISCLOSED], so Jeremiah is probably planning to go there as I write this. We'll have to head right past the Tiib'Deron Gym to get there, though, so the chances of getting caught by a Trai will be a lot higher. Oh, there's Jeremiah now. He's got that damned smile on his face again.
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Actually, I kind of disagree with Cosbydaf here... I preferred the old format. It was a more original way to present things, and it wasn't at all hard to figure out what was going on.
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QUOTE (Nix @ Aug 3 2012, 10:52 PM)
Actually, I kind of disagree with Cosbydaf here... I preferred the old format. It was a more original way to present things, and it wasn't at all hard to figure out what was going on.
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QUOTE
dodoman1 : They had a massive bone in their penises that let them mate for hours at a time
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IM SO CONFLITCED. On the Biomon Forums and on DA, I actually continued huMON with the original tape recording format. I will take a vote: who prefers conventional and who prefers tapes. If tapes wins, I'll post the ones I posted on deviantart and biomon. If conventional wins, I'll just continue doing that.