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 Possible Zombie Outbreak in Florida, Uh Oh
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Beelzebuzzer9
Posted: May 31 2012, 03:56 AM


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http://global.christianpost.com/news/zombi...ong-many-75750/

I REALLY wish I was making this up. Damn, now I won't be able to go to a game design college or go to Disney World and Universal Studios Orlando
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Revereche
Posted: May 31 2012, 06:53 AM


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Florida already has a high crime rate, the sinking economy is causing widespread stress and depression, stress and depression can lead to psychotic breaks.

Also, there's a little more to being a zombie than being a cannibal, you fucking morons.


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The Outsider
Posted: May 31 2012, 07:06 AM


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Yeah, no. This isn't a zombie epidemic, it's the babysitter dropping some PCP and putting the baby in the microwave. On the other hand, I wasn't aware you could get high off of bath salts.



Now that that's out of the way, WOO-HOO DEATH TO FLORIDA!


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scythemantis
Posted: May 31 2012, 07:23 AM


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QUOTE (The Outsider @ May 31 2012, 07:06 AM)
Yeah, no. This isn't a zombie epidemic, it's the babysitter dropping some PCP and putting the baby in the microwave. On the other hand, I wasn't aware you could get high off of bath salts.



Now that that's out of the way, WOO-HOO DEATH TO FLORIDA!

As much as I'd enjoy Florida's demise, you know you may never see a new Mortasheen monster if that happens, right? You may never even get to know how polarizing my opinions on Mr. Mime could possibly be.


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Rasec Wizzlbang
Posted: May 31 2012, 07:34 AM


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The guy was trippin on a drug called 'bath salts' which is like a super cocaine.


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Mesklinite01
Posted: May 31 2012, 07:35 AM


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'Bath salts' are the slang name for a certain drug that makes you go berserk if you overdose. People who overdose on 'bath salts' tend to strip off naked end halucinate things.

Still, I think some stupids will avoid using literal bath salts after this.
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Revereche
Posted: May 31 2012, 07:53 AM


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Was he? I skimmed. The Greyhound bus killer and guy who ate his son's eyes weren't on anything (or at least, anything that strong, to my knowledge), so I assumed this guy didn't need to be either.


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Chupacabra
Posted: May 31 2012, 08:32 AM


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QUOTE (scythemantis @ May 31 2012, 01:23 AM)
As much as I'd enjoy Florida's demise, you know you may never see a new Mortasheen monster if that happens, right? You may never even get to know how polarizing my opinions on Mr. Mime could possibly be.

Or you could move to a different state.


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You're a real Pollyanna Chup. - ScutigeraColeoptrata
outhouseinferno: chup's species came here when the teenaged ufo drivers threw their used condom out the airlock
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OuthouseInferno
Posted: May 31 2012, 09:23 AM


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Fark doesn't have its own separate tag for Florida for nothing. It was added before the ECONOMFUCK went full blast.


I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's a special kind of illness that comes from living in the penis of North America.


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"Tentacle rape is such an otherworldy outlandish experience that it is something more akin to a dream. It is like being raped by Satan, there is no shame to being raped by Satan since if it happens it is an ineveitability that was ordained by the universe. It is in short a purely physical experience."
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Admiral_Aorta
Posted: May 31 2012, 09:54 AM


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Here's a solution:
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Chupacabra
Posted: May 31 2012, 09:57 AM


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hell yeah willie


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You're a real Pollyanna Chup. - ScutigeraColeoptrata
outhouseinferno: chup's species came here when the teenaged ufo drivers threw their used condom out the airlock
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SmashedPumpkin
Posted: Jun 1 2012, 12:27 AM


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QUOTE (Revereche @ May 31 2012, 07:53 AM)
Was he? I skimmed. The Greyhound bus killer and guy who ate his son's eyes weren't on anything (or at least, anything that strong, to my knowledge), so I assumed this guy didn't need to be either.

You don't need to be on drugs to eat a face, but if you're gonna shrug off a handful of bullets, you're probably on some substance like PCP.


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pare321
Posted: Jun 1 2012, 12:39 AM


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Didn't Big Lurch eat his roommate while on PCP?

That shit cray.


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ComputationalSphinx
Posted: Jun 1 2012, 02:16 AM


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My cousin's a nursing student, and there was a serious clusterfuck over "bath salts" a year or so back where she lives, so my family wound up getting to hear a lot about it. That shit is beyond nasty. Of the people she saw who've taken it, very few of them were... intact, psychologically. Apparently most of the users wind up institutionalized, with little hope of recovery.
It thus doesn't surprise me much that it's wound up in Florida, the flagship state in the nation for poor decision-making.


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xolta
Posted: Jun 1 2012, 02:20 AM


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Were going to knock over Florida
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They can keep boca


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