Hitchhiker

This reminds me of that one story. I don't remember who it's by, I think it was Robert Louis Stephenson but I'm not positive. Basically, a guy buys a lamp or something from this old man who's desperate to sell it. The old man explains that the lamp will grant you anything you want, but has two rules: 1. You can only sell it to the next person for less than you bought it for 2. If it's in your possession when you die, you go to hell.


And then the rest of the story was boring and pointless about him and his lover buying it and stuff, and eventually he buys it for one penny to save his wife (who was an idiot and bought it for two pennies), then they're like "oh yeah there are half pennies" so they sell it to some pirates who were like "eh, we're going to hell anyways, we might as well enjoy ourselves with wishes."


This creepy pasta really is more of a parable, and a cautionary tale. Just a general "be careful what you wish for" story. It doesn't matter why the girl was going to the dark place, what mattered was that the man made a vague wish, and it had disastrous results. I think that's why I liked this one: it sounds a lot more sophisticated than other "omg something in my closets!" creepypastas. Like, it sounds like a legitimate ghost story that makes the reader forget about the fact that they're reading something on the Internet, and get absorbed in the story. After all, isn't that what good storytelling does, is make you forget that you're reading it or hearing it or watching a movie? Suspension of reality and all that?
Sorry, rambled a bit. But yeah, I do like this pasta. Possibly because it's a nice change from the usual "omg weird shit happening lemme post on the internet" stories.

If it's all high-fantasy, though, it's not very creepy. Saying "you'll go to hell" isn't scary, because it's an empty threat.

And "be careful what you wish for" stories with empty threats don't really work. The monkey's paw had their dead son come back to life AS A ZOMBIE. That's freaking crazy. Honestly, the only time I've ever been creeped out by a zombie is when some guy was telling that story to my class in the school library when I was in... I don't know, second grade or something.

Perhaps a better way to end that story would be to have the hitchhiker turn into a demon or something at the end. Yeah, that would be frickin' cewl.

i red that story once in comparative lit class. you shuld feele ashamed for paraphrasing it so badly, you kikish cockmongler.

mabi ur juss jealouse bcuz off all mai jew gold

u muszbe sum cind o fagit know wander everypony h8tes u n thinx ur dum
u sould prolly jast kil yerslef nao no1 bill ms yo

oh so now u watche Southernly Parking too you hipster woman of some sort.

btw is there a kitchen in your ocomputrer? then you shuld really get back to the kitchen and make your husband a sandwich

frack hugh buddy how do you evan kno aim a women? qick anser the antsur is yu dont no dou no u dont so u dont evin no do u? no, you dont.

maybe ur jus prospecting mee being a grrl ontoo mei beecawse u r so ugri an no gurlz bill evar lik uo so yu are deelin wit a llot off strez becouzin afrais og intinimidenancy.

i thinx teh rewt ov ur probelm lyes wif a feer af regretin ewe nevar rilly got to no ur grangmomo.

or is that too close to home?

I mean hoam.

Wait wait wait wait.

Tsar nazi was talking to cultistofvertigo, saying he paraphrased badly and was a kikish cockmongler?

Because both of those totally apply to me, and I thought you were saying them to me. xD In fact, I don't think there's a better phrase to describe me as a person than "kikish cockmongler".

from what Chart Navy has told me, kikes are world renowned for their penchant at illustrating phallic members.







of parliament.

Three morons, one topic.

It is like Azathoth opened one of his thousand mouths, became lazy, and then said 'GO FORTH LEESAMFISH'.

And so it was.

Dear god, they're speaking in tongues.

Cultist, you're thinking of "the Bottle Imp."