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 Cracked
Nematode
Posted: Apr 14 2009, 02:53 AM


Indescribable Monstrosity
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Group: Members
Posts: 1,966
Member No.: 28
Joined: 8-April 09



http://www.cracked.com/article_17199_7-mos...-on-planet.html

don't ask me why there's a picture of a lamprey, though. which brings me to another point: my marine bio teacher never learned the differences between a lamprey and a hagfish, which is just plain wrong.
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OuthouseInferno
Posted: Apr 14 2009, 05:41 AM


I cringed so hard my face turned into an asshole
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Group: Super Moderators
Posts: 7,703
Member No.: 7
Joined: 7-April 09



For some reason, their older articles and their new articles (using some arbitrary cutoff point) differ drastically in that the new ones try way too hard to emulate the old articles' style and just don't seem as funny.


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user posted image
"Tentacle rape is such an otherworldy outlandish experience that it is something more akin to a dream. It is like being raped by Satan, there is no shame to being raped by Satan since if it happens it is an ineveitability that was ordained by the universe. It is in short a purely physical experience."
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dodoman1
Posted: Apr 14 2009, 07:05 PM


Death once came for Fran Drescher. She'd had better
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Group: Elder Things
Posts: 7,578
Member No.: 19
Joined: 7-April 09



I liked their take on Leucochloridium.


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Shadow Goo
Posted: Apr 14 2009, 08:24 PM


Indescribable Monstrosity
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Group: Members
Posts: 1,042
Member No.: 22
Joined: 7-April 09



I kind of like Cracked's nature articles, simply because it provides such a different perspective about the dozens of weird creatures we adore. One such list-"animals with real superpowers"-stated that the anglerfish's mating habits were the human equivalent of stapling your nuts onto your ex-girlfriend on the premise that "she might need them later", and also suggested that due to their vast array of superpowers, octopi may, in fact, be God. It's also the where I learned about what huge assholes dolphins really are.

http://www.cracked.com/article_15926_15-mo...ng-rituals.html
15 most bizarre animal mating rituals. Anglerfish come three on the list, with the site accusing them of being the embodiment of every worthless moocher boyfriend.

"Snails are hermaphrodites and as such, have both male and female reproductive bits. Nonetheless, they still need a buddy to mate because snails, like Jesus, frown on self-love. When two of these hermaphroditic fiends get together to bump uglies, they engage in what scientists refer to as snail donkey punching."

http://www.cracked.com/article_16762_p2.html
The 6 biggest assholes in the animal kingdom. Unsurprisingly, dolphins and chimpanzees are at the tip-top, though the number three spot belongs to the AFRICAN BAT-BUG due to its habit of stabbing people with its penis simply because it "hates vaginas."



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drrockso20
Posted: Apr 14 2009, 09:23 PM


Formless Pupa
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Group: Members
Posts: 93
Member No.: 8
Joined: 7-April 09



does anyone have the link to that list of sadistic foods from around the world along with the other bizarre foods lists
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Sugarpolyp
Posted: Apr 18 2009, 05:49 AM


That guy.
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Group: Members
Posts: 267
Member No.: 35
Joined: 9-April 09



QUOTE (drrockso20 @ Apr 14 2009, 09:23 PM)
does anyone have the link to that list of sadistic foods from around the world along with the other bizarre foods lists

http://www.cracked.com/article_16951_6-mos...ound-world.html
I could only find that one, sorry buddy.


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scythemantis
Posted: Apr 18 2009, 07:57 AM


With Soar-Throat Ghost
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Group: Admin
Posts: 3,832
Member No.: 1
Joined: 5-April 09



There's not really a "they" of course; the articles are written by forumers and then posted to the site after some sort of internal vote.

I've pitched a few articles but they never get accepted, other people beat me to everything I wanted to write about.


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drrockso20
Posted: Apr 18 2009, 10:44 PM


Formless Pupa
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Group: Members
Posts: 93
Member No.: 8
Joined: 7-April 09



QUOTE (Sugarpolyp @ Apr 17 2009, 10:49 PM)
http://www.cracked.com/article_16951_6-mos...ound-world.html
I could only find that one, sorry buddy.

thanks man
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drrockso20
Posted: Apr 18 2009, 10:53 PM


Formless Pupa
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Group: Members
Posts: 93
Member No.: 8
Joined: 7-April 09



and now having reread that article I'm going to go cry sad.gif
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