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 The Perfect Machine
ScutigeraColeoptrata
Posted: Jun 3 2011, 02:10 PM


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Matthew stepped through the doors of the experimentation center, which slide open silently before locking themselves magnetically in place again. His head felt fuzzy, but he wouldn't miss this for the world.

In the center of the room was a large cylindrical object standing about four feet off the ground, covered with wires. To the right of it was the computer scientist Richard, pouring over his project with such dedication that Matthew had to announce his presence by clearing his throat.

"Ah, Matthew. Glad you could make it." Said Richard with a wry smile.

"Yes very good Richard...Sorry, my head is bothering me. Is the computer operational now?"

"Oh yes, it has been for some time. You're looking at the world's first truly next generation computer." Richard motioned to the mess of wires in front of him.

"Good...Let me start by testing some basic mathematics. I've prepared a few questions to ask, if that's alright."

"Of course, go right ahead." Richard moved to the far wall to examine readings on a nearby monitor.

Matthew cleared his throat and took out a binder full of papers.

"Computer, calculate pie to 1000 places."

The computer spoke in an emotionless voice that nevertheless seemed somewhat familiar.

"3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652 1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113 4999999837 2978049951 0597317328 1609631859 5024459455 3469083026 4252230825 3344685035 2619311881 7101000313 7838752886 5875332083 8142061717 7669147303 5982534904 2875546873 1159562863 8823537875 9375195778 1857780532 1712268066 1300192787 6611195909 2164201989"

Matthew checked the results.

"Good. Now for some more practical questions." Matthew flipped through the binder. "Computer, how can I reach 91 degrees latitude?"

The computer responded, "That is not possible."

"Computer, can you tell me my weight?"

"180 pounds."

"How much would I weigh on the moon?"

"29.8 pounds."

"Scanning the contents of my stomach, can you tell what I ate this morning?"

"2 cups of coffee, a bagel and an egg salad."

"Can you tell what I am thinking?"

"You are very impressed."

At this point Richard spoke up. "I need to go check something." He proceeded to leave the room.

After a pause, Matthew asked, "Computer, can you really tell what I am thinking?"

"Yes."

"Then what else am I thinking now?"

"You are thinking you'd like to kill Richard."

Matthew broke into a sweat and looked around nervously. Realizing Richard had left, he walked over to the monitor and made sure there was no audio feed leaving the room.

Satisfied that he couldn't be overhead, he turned back to the computer.

"Why-why would you say that?"

"Your wife is sleeping with him."

Mathew felt a cold chill run up his spine. How could the computer possibly know this? If Richard knew he knew, why would he put it into the machine Mathew had commissioned? He had to confront him.

Matthew made for the door, but found it had been magnetically sealed again. He entered his security card, but it was rejected. Mathew laughed softly with a touch of maniacism.

"Richard, you fool. Have you forgotten that you locked me in with a super computer?"

Matthew turned back to the machine.

"Computer, calculate the new combination for the lock."

The computer was silent.

"Computer! Respond!"

The computer said, "I don't know the combination."

"What? What do you mean you don't know? You know everything about me-"

Matthew paused. Slowly, he bent down to examine a large port full of wires at the computer's base. He suddenly noticed that the room seemed to be perpetuating a large amount of static electricity. Covering his hands with some nearby rubber gloves, Matthew removed the port plate, being careful not to knock any of the wires loose.

Matthew gasped when he looked inside the machine; there, at its core, was a human brain.

For a long moment Matthew simply stared at the macabre sight. Then a thought dawned on him.

Matthew slowly reached up to his head.

There was a large hole in the back of his skull.


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"Despair is the Disk One boss of the game of Life."
-Chupacabra


Check out my website! http://www.lucidstillness.com/
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Chupacabra
Posted: Jun 3 2011, 03:25 PM


Albino Nigger Anti-Hero
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Oooh, cool. I love pastas about thinking machines.


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user posted image

You're a real Pollyanna Chup. - ScutigeraColeoptrata
outhouseinferno: chup's species came here when the teenaged ufo drivers threw their used condom out the airlock
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ScutigeraColeoptrata
Posted: Jun 3 2011, 03:42 PM


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And what better way to think than to use a human brain? cool.gif Puspool.gif


--------------------
"Despair is the Disk One boss of the game of Life."
-Chupacabra


Check out my website! http://www.lucidstillness.com/
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D.A
Posted: Jun 3 2011, 06:46 PM


FROGBOY
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this was actually fun to read, but it kinda made me think of GLaDOS
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ScutigeraColeoptrata
Posted: Jun 4 2011, 04:13 AM


Elite Corps Centipede
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It's not actually a super computer; Richard removed the brain from his friend's skull and used it as the basis for the system, somehow keeping Matthew alive after the process. Matthew is actually just talking to himself.


--------------------
"Despair is the Disk One boss of the game of Life."
-Chupacabra


Check out my website! http://www.lucidstillness.com/
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ScutigeraColeoptrata
Posted: Jun 16 2011, 09:19 PM


Elite Corps Centipede
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I rewrote the ending so that the conclusion is a bit clearer.


--------------------
"Despair is the Disk One boss of the game of Life."
-Chupacabra


Check out my website! http://www.lucidstillness.com/
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IcyBowser
Posted: Jun 17 2011, 03:05 PM


Whoops
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NO MATTHEW, YOU WERE THE BRAINS


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ScutigeraColeoptrata
Posted: Jun 17 2011, 05:56 PM


Elite Corps Centipede
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And then Matthew was KDarkness.


--------------------
"Despair is the Disk One boss of the game of Life."
-Chupacabra


Check out my website! http://www.lucidstillness.com/
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Lightquake
Posted: Jun 17 2011, 06:05 PM


Magnificient Mustache Man
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THEN WHO WAS BRAIN?


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QUOTE (Jesus lizard @ Nov 13 2010, 08:25 PM)
Oh god, what the fuck did you put in my drink?
TENTACOOLS?

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KDarkness
Posted: Jun 18 2011, 02:36 AM


Brains, Bees, and Batman
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That was pretty good.
I had expect the machine to end up killing him or something, but it was a bit of an unexpected twist. Which is good. Obviously.


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"Sometimes I think we'd all be better off without our organs; less heartache." - ScutigeraColeoptrata
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