(Source: http://nevvyweather.tumblr.com/post/106552...asta-thats-been )
(Original: http://www.facebook.com/notes/nobody-is-wo...if¬if_t=like )

Hi, Mommy.
I’m your tumor. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got beautiful brown neoplasm and black cancer cells. Well, I don’t have them yet, but I will when I’m malignant. I’m going to be your only tumor, and you’ll call me your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want you to be a doctor when we grow up.
You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so hysterical, you couldn’t wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was cry, and life was perfect. You’re beautiful when you’re crying, Mommy. I whispered into your inner ear that things will be okay. I know you’re listening, Mommy. I don’t have any vocal cords, but I can communicate through the disrupted neurons I’ve manipulated. You know it already.
Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so hesitant to tell him about me. …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got sad. I don’t think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called brain damage, and brain cancer, and death, and stuff I don’t think I understand yet. You were still alive, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He kissed you. I could feel you falling for his words, so I made your hands fly up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I like. I know it means you love me. He said he’d get help, and he hugged you again. You like him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he want to hurt me? I don’t like it, Mommy.
Finally, you can see me! The X-rays came back today. I’m a little bit bigger, and I’ve rewired your brain so that you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.
I can spread my cells now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your head to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.
Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want me. I don’t know why, but that’s what he said. And he hugged you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I’ll keep us away from him! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good person, I think he’s bad. But he hugged you, and he said he didn’t want me. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?
You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?
It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when your nerves contract. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your hands when you double over and cry out, and I feel safe and warm again. I need to start making you do that when you’re awake.
I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want you to be a doctor, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.
…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!
Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!
Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it’s called cranial surgery.
Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to make you involuntarily smile and watch the clouds that aren’t there. I don’t want to be here, I want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you! But the fact that you’re hearing this proves that some of the cells I manipulated are still in your brain, still growing. Silly doctors! They can try and get me with radiation, but I’m holding on tight.
I love you, Mommy.
Every tumor removal is just…
One more heart that wasn’t stopped.
Two more cells that will never duplicate.
Two more hands that will never touch things that aren’t there.
Two more legs that will never lose their feeling.
One more mouth that will never speak to unknown voices.
If you’re against a cure for cancer, re-blog.

VAST IMPROVEMENT, I SAY.

I couldn't help but picture the tumor as having a baby's face, ick.

Hi daddy, I'm your sperm cell. You don't know me yet, but some day I'll be-hey! Daddy, what are you doing with that lotion? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Everything before the end kind of freaked me out

and then the end made me laugh

I would have found this more emotion provoking if the tumor had started crying.
I am disappointed that it did not.






Weeping Tumor Children.
Band name.

oh my God that was amazing

Hi, mommy! I'm you!

And then mommy was a zombie

For extra context, here's the original copypasta this is parodying:

Month One: Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two: Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three: You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four: Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five: You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six: I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!! No...

Month Seven: Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus' arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? We would have been so happy together.

Do pro-lifers really believe that pro-choices don't know that these are "babies" before they're born? Of course they're babies. inconvenient babies that we believe are expendable, much like many other inconvenient people. DIE, BABIES! GO BACK TO HELL!!!

The end made me cry.

That was a good read, I especially like that apparently fetuses aren't actually babies...they're..just...a lump of sentient humanity, not a human, nope. The tumor one was good too, but I prefer the second. I wonder what sort of speech Jesus gave an aborted baby about abortion, that would be fun to watch.

It's hilarious if you imagine that Jesus has to do this for every single aborted baby.

I'm envisioning a Mall Santa type deal where the fetuses are in a mile long line, waiting to sit on Jesus' lap and get told what abortion is. I bet that would get tiring.

Would the babies even know what they were hearing? Someone should draw a picture of this or something.

Actually, Dreamer, this is the original: http://www.facebook.com/notes/nobody-is-wo...if¬if_t=like

Is it wierd that I'm actually against the whole abortion thing? I mean, its a really gray area with me. I mean, when it's just a blob of cellular matter, I guess its okay but if its growing limbs and whatnot I figure maybe alternatives could be looked into, Like adoption.