"...and the caves have american inside them and are using the hammers on our skulls and it's wild man, really trippy. My brother doesn't understand about the weed. He just wants to score. Bastard. I'm here growing breasts for my weed and he wants to score." ~ Xebelan

What did i just read?

To runaround kids in get-go cars, vaseline afterbirths and neon coughs, galaxies full of nobodies, giving us a farewell runaround. I took a Virgin Mary ax to his sweet baby jane, lost m innocence to a no-good girl, scratch my face with anvil hands, coil my tongue around a bumblebee mouth. - Smashing Pumpkins, "F**k You (An Ode to No One)".

Yeah.

"Good morning.
In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world.
You will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind.
'Mankind,' that word should have a new meaning for all of us today.
We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore.
We will be united in our common interest.

Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July and you will once again be fighting for our freedom.
Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation.

We're fighting for our right to live...to exist.
And should we win the day,
the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday,
but as the day when the world declared in one voice
we will not go quietly into the night,
we will not vanish without a fight,
we're going to live on,
we're going to survive ...

Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!"

That burning orb of fire in the sky is gonna explode and we're all gonna die!
Except for the foolish few who will quote unquote think ahead and drive their SUV's to their bomb shelters
Complain about no air conditioning because "baby, we ain't got no more electricity."
They wanna rise when it's done, be a leader with a gun.
Be a leader of what? Like a hundred and one?
Well, fuck it, I'm gonna hang out on the rooftop when it comes. -
Bomb The Music Industry!, Side Projects Are Never Successful

There will never be anything I can say that will top Chupacabra's quote at the top there.

"Yeah, but John, Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down the pirates don't eat the tourists" - Ian Malcom, Jurassic Park.

"Ford’s Economics are the worst thing that’s happened to this country since pantyhose ruined finger-fucking."- President Lyndon B. Johnson

I do not believe LBJ would say such a thing. I challenge you to produce the source of that quotation.

“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.” ~ the late great George Carlin

The flamethrower quote is one of my favorite from George Carlin. :lol:

I truly hope he said that

Are you serious? Google some quotes. LBJ had a notoriously foul mouth.

"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel...with a bit of pornography if you're lucky." ~ Alan Moore

Some of my favorite song lyrics:

"Do you believe in the one big song? He is now accepting callers who would like to sing along." -from Comfort Eagle, by Cake

"I grew up on drive-bys and LA gang signs!" -from Undead, by Hollywood Undead

Here's some more LBJ quotes with sources

"It's probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in." - On FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover, as quoted in The New York Times (31 October 1971)

"Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else." - Private comment, as quoted in Name-Dropping (1999) by John Kenneth Galbraith, p. 149

Alex Chiu

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, why the HELL are there inflatable sex dolls everywhere?!?!" ~ Squidtentacle

Oh, so that's what that song's called! I saw a video for it forever ago and I always just referred to it as the "Onion Head Hat" song. Now I can download it, huzzah!

"The Spryflajer: This sploonatic junk-munker is flapped out. It plashes and streads to confuse its prey. Then, just when they think they cannot get any more confused, it swims away without eating them, leaving them totally mind-spryed. Pointless."
-Ricky Gervais (in the book More Flanimals)

It doesn't matter what the hell a Spryflajer is. Is that not the most awesome nonsense you've ever heard?

Doesn't matter if you're skinny,
Doesn't matter if you're fat,
You can dress up like a sultan in your onion head hat!

"Don't forget that you're a mental being, with a humongous trillion gigawatt hard-drive at your disposal. Most of you have been running it like crazy for four years, moaning about all the books you've had to read, the papers you've had to write, and the tests you've had to take. Yet thanks to that hard-drive and about a thousand cups of coffee, you made it. Just...let me put it this way. I can find out where you live. I have my resources. And if I show up at your house ten years from now and find nothing in your living room but The Readers Digest, nothing on your bedroom nighttable but the newest Dan Brown novel, and nothing in your bathroom but Jokes for the John, I'll chase you down to the end of your driveway and back, screaming "Where are your books? You graduated college ten years ago, so how come there are no damn books in your house? Why are you living on the intellectual equivalent of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?" I sound like I'm joking about this, but I'm not. You've got a brain under the cap you're wearing. Take care of the damned thing. Try to remember there's more to life than Vin Diesel and Tom Cruise. It wouldn't kill you to go to a movie once a month that has subtitles on the bottom of the screen. You can read them, you went to college, right?" ~ Stephen King

It bashes Kraft, Dan Brown, Tom Cruise, and makes me think of a crazy old man chasing people. That's what I like in quote.

"Love is like cancer: It grows aggressively, displacing what should be there like your reasoning skills, or self preservation. And just like cancer, when its finally ripped out of you, it leaves a big hole and hurts like fuck."

My older brother Seth told me this one. Unfortunately he ruined this deep, touching discription by shortly following up with

"So suck it up fucknuts. Life sucks, and then you die"

Yep. Truer words, no?

Is your brother me? :o

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." -H.P. Lovecraft
Truly inspiring

The quote in my sig is from my father
R.I.P.

so your last name is Taylor? that's pretty cool. not sure why.

are one liners quotes? sure they are
"I'm mixed race, my father prefers the 100 metres and my mother's pakistani."

"It's like an infinite number of shits hitting an infinite number of fans." - My good friend, Sean, on what happens when you hear Azathoth speak.

That reminds me of something a professor at the college I'm currently going to once said.

". . . And then the shit hits the you-know-what... Wait... But then the you-know-what hits the fan. That's it..."

my bio professor likes yelling "damn" at the class.

"I'm laughing because you're a bitch!"-Myself, while particularly braindead

"That's kind of like being punched by Mike Tyson in his prime, if his outstretched arm was attached to a meteor as it entered the atmosphere."-Cracked.com, describing the Mantis Shrimp's MEGA-PUNCH

"In a tight spot the ant can bite at the ground and use it to jump incredible distances, the human equivalent of which would be the ability to snap into a Slim Jim with such ferocity it rocketed you over a four-story building. "- Cracked.com describing the Trap-Jaw ant's bizarre evasive maneuver

i love that last one.

"The President in Washington sends word that he wishes to buy our land. But how can you buy or sell the sky? The land? The idea is strange to us. If we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you buy them?
Every part of the earth is sacred to my people. Every shining pine needle, every sandy shore, every mist in the dark woods, every meadow, every humming insect. All are holy in the memory and experience of my people.

We know the sap which courses through the trees as we know the blood that courses through our veins. We are part of the earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters. The bear, the deer, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the juices in the meadow, the body heat of the pony, and man, all belong to the same family.

The shining water that moved through the rivers and streams in not just water, but the blood of our ancestors. If we sell you our land, you must remember that it is sacred. Each ghostly reflection in the clear waters of lakes tells us of events and memories in the life of my people. The water's murmur is the voice of my fathers father.
The rivers are our brothers. They quench our thirst. They carry our canoes and feed our children. So you must give the rivers the kindness you would give any brother.

If we sell our land, remember that the air is precious to us, that the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports. The wind that gave our grandfather his first breath also receives his last sigh. The wind also gives our children the spirit of life. So if we sell you our land, you must keep it apart and sacred, as a place where man can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow flowers.
Will you teach your children what we taught our children? That the earth is our mother? What befalls the earth befalls all the sons of the earth.

This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.

One thing we know: Our god is also your god. The earth is precious to him and to harm the earth is to heap contempt on its creator.
Your destiny is a mystery to us. What will happen when the buffalo are all slaughtered? The wild horse tamed? What will happen when the secret corners of the forest are heavy with the scent of many men and the view of the ripe hills are blotted by talking wires? Where will the thicket be? Gone! Where will the eagle be? Gone! And what is it to say goodbye to the swift pony and the hunt? The end of living and the beginning of survival.

When the last red man has vanished from his wilderness and his memory is only the shadow of a cloud moving across the prairie, will these shores and forests still be here? Will there be any spirit of my people left?

We love this earth as a newborn loves its mothers heartbeat. So, if we sell you our land, love it as we had loved it. Care for it as we have cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you receive it. Preserve the land lor all children and love it, as god loves us all.

As we are part of the land, you too are part of the land. This earth is precious to us. It is also precious to you. One thing we know: there is only one God. No man, be he red man or white man, can be apart. We are brothers after all."- Chief Seattle (rough translation)

My signature is something I said to a friend about Halo.

First off, Dodo, Wow, just wow
Secondly
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." -Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind

War is so cruel, dodo. ;_;

hmmm, somehow, I don't buy it....

Why do you hate the earth?

This is an actual conversation that occured recently on Spookingtons. (Context: the scene where Dracula's two daughters were dry-humping Thomas Renfield in Mel Brooks' Dracula: Dead and Loving It.)

I lold.
So hard.

"Why would a Big Daddy need 81 dollars?"
- Dodoman1