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Title: Antiques Roadshow - The Idol


Cosbydaf - October 3, 2011 02:20 AM (GMT)
In the early 80's, an episode of the show "Antiques Roadshow" ended in tragedy when the auction house caught on fire, killing everyone inside. For years, there was no indication of what started the fire, but the recovery of a camera that was being used to film the episode offers a look into the last few minutes before the fire started.

It was near the end of the episode, and an appraiser, James, had come to the table of a disheveled, tired looking man named David, who had with him a strange bronze idol of some monstrous being. Everyone else in the room was notably keeping their distance.

James looks at the idol, appearing rather nervous. He tells David that this "a bit out of his range" and asks David why he didn't take it to a museum. David ignores the question and asks James what the idol is.

James explains that this is an idol made by the Tcalans, an offshoot of the Mayan civilization, which started their own culture around 2800 B.C. The Tcalans had a separate religion from the Mayans, which was dubbed "Zharkanism" by archaeologists.

James briefly explains that the Zharkanism was a monotheistic religion, in which the creator of the Earth and humanity was an evil being called "Zharka". The Tcalans believed only an evil being would create a world with so much pain and suffering. They reasoned that all good in the world was a result of Zharka being asleep, and so they constantly sacrificed humans, Tcalans and outsiders alike, to ensure Zharka would remain in that state.

James then says that he believes David's idol may actually be a depiction of Zharka, who had been described in ancient texts as having a skull-like face, two cranial horns and a tail. James gives an estimate that he could easily sell this to a museum for upwards of 5 million dollars.

David is completely unfazed, and prepares to get up and leave. James then remarks about the idol "Besides, I'm sure you'll be glad to be getting rid of that ugly thing". David then starts shuddering and tells James "You shouldn't talk about it like that..."

People scream in terror as James suddenly bursts in to flames, along with the building around them, as the camera falls to the ground. This is the last viewable scene on the tape.

Some research was made as to how the wreckage was dealt with. The burned bodies of all the attendants where found, along with several destroyed antiques.
No remnants of the idol where found.

user posted image

Ebe - October 3, 2011 04:35 AM (GMT)
NEW PRIMAL RAGE 3 FINAL BOSS.

ZHARKA.

Cosbydaf - October 3, 2011 04:39 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Ebe @ Oct 2 2011, 11:35 PM)
NEW PRIMAL RAGE 3 FINAL BOSS.

ZHARKA.

YOU DON'T SAY?

user posted image

xolta - October 3, 2011 02:58 PM (GMT)
Well it was short but to the point. I like to see the idol in more stories of yours.

Chupacabra - October 3, 2011 03:40 PM (GMT)
Very cool.

APPARENT TROPE IN COSBYDAF'S PASTAS: DON'T INSULT THE EVIL OBJECT.
EXAMPLES: Tiki Mask, Zharka.

Admiral_Aorta - October 3, 2011 06:39 PM (GMT)
I like to think that the idol and the tiki mask are old friends or drinking buddies.

Shoggoth - October 3, 2011 08:02 PM (GMT)
I bet they used to be coworkers.

Revereche - October 4, 2011 02:27 AM (GMT)
What a hilarious thing to set it off. I like it!

leesamfish - October 4, 2011 04:12 PM (GMT)
Antiques road show was around that long?


Also, I feel like it would have been better if it didnīt show James going up in flames, takes away some of the mystery. Itīs not like, "you shouldnīt say that about him" and then it turns out the place burned to the ground shortly after.


Also, someone NEEDS to make a gif of Dharka dancing, flipping the image back and forth. Iīd do it, but 1 Iīm dumb and 2 I hve class now

Jesus lizard - October 4, 2011 05:02 PM (GMT)
Make him so he's moving his arms in little up down motions as he turns from left to right - like when Johnny Bravo does The Monkey.

Lightquake - October 4, 2011 10:01 PM (GMT)
user posted image
Done.

Chupacabra - October 4, 2011 10:34 PM (GMT)
Fucking A! : D

Cosbydaf - October 5, 2011 12:05 AM (GMT)
:D That is AWESOME

Revereche - October 5, 2011 12:52 AM (GMT)
Put it to music and we're golden.

Jesus lizard - October 5, 2011 12:55 AM (GMT)

Rasec Wizzlbang - October 5, 2011 12:56 AM (GMT)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yEDrWQwnBk

Syncs up pretty well to this

Rasec Wizzlbang - October 5, 2011 12:58 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Jesus lizard @ Oct 4 2011, 05:55 PM)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_fCqg92qks&ob=av3e

This is even better

Revereche - October 5, 2011 04:13 AM (GMT)
Dammit Rasec, it's stuck in my head AGAIN!

xolta - October 5, 2011 04:29 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (Lightquake @ Oct 4 2011, 04:01 PM)
user posted image
Done.

Its wonderfull, so wonderfull in fact i will make it a prt of my sig

IcyBowser - October 5, 2011 06:39 AM (GMT)

ScutigeraColeoptrata - October 17, 2011 04:37 AM (GMT)
SO! All evil in the world is caused by a big headed demon dancing The Monkey to The Proclaimers!

AND this is tied into the Godzilla story!

IT'S ALL STARTING TO COME TOGETHER!




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