> Barkley: Shut up and Jam Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa

[Zandor 12]

The year is 2053. Basketball is dead.

This game is a basketball-themed 16-bit style RPG starring Charles Barkley in a postapocalyptic world where basketball is banned and most b-ballers were killed in the Great B-Ball Purge of 2041. One day, Barkley suddenly finds himself on the run from the law, suspected of having performed a devastating Chaos Dunk that destroyed Manhattan and killed millions. Will Charles Barkley be able to prove his innocence and save the world from the terrifying acronym/terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S? Who is the Ultimate Hellbane? Why are there so many furries in this sewer? What is Clispeath, and why does this timeline make so little sense?

Can YOU survive the Postcyberpocalypse???

When a completely ridiculous concept takes itself very seriously, the result is comedy gold. It also helps that the combat system is actually pretty damn good for an RPG (different attacks use differnet button combos; it's easier to learn than to explain), and that for a freeware game this is pretty long; took me 7.5 hours to beat it fully and unlock Victorian Steampunk mode. Also, great soundtrack. This is seriously the most epic freeware game since Cave Story, and you are doing yourself a terrible disservice if you don't try it. You don't need to know anything about basketball to appreciate it, although the ridiculous backstory and parts of the plot make more sense if you're familiar with the movie Space Jam.

Also, this game is canon.

[Schrödinger's Cat]

I know I'm several months too late, but that game is amazing! I've decided to name my firstborn child "Hoopz Barkley". I can't wait for the second part!

[Surlent]

Dear Lord this game is amazing. I fell in love with it almost instantly, and I don't even know who anyone other than Jordan is. The pump is probably my favorite thing right now. It reminds me of ray. =P ...This game doesn't seem to have any music whatsoever, though.

[Schrödinger's Cat]

The game has music! Did you install the game correctly?

[Surlent]

I downloaded the 64.9MB zip file, which contained a folder. I took said folder and threw it into /home/cory/.wine/drive_c/Barkley Shut Up And Jam Gaiden. And before you say anything, thanks to a powerful hack, I can utilize my Linux partitions from Windows, and have almost all of my games, include the Unreal Anthology and Fable, on that partition, and they all work fine. And I have do have sound in the game, but no, no music.

[Aeris]

REPLIED JUST SO THERE'S ONE POST ON THE FRONT PAGE THAT IS ACTUALLY FROM THIS YEAR! :FEAR THE POWER:

[Surlent]

I HAVE UPDATE!!11 Turns out that putting it in E:\home\cory\.wine\drive_c\Barkley Shut up and Jam Gaiden doesn't work correctly (everything works, but no music), but putting it in C:\Barkley Shut up and Jam Gaiden works just fine. Also, this game is incredibly awesome. However, I noticed that Victorian Steampunk mode, while awesome, is bugged: The new names don't always carry over, especially in combat. =( Also, where is the <s>narwhal</s> key to the spaceship, and where can I find library cards, and is there any point to raising a pet basketball? ALL THIS, AND NOT MUCH MORE, COMING SOON.

[Aeris]

GET ON AIM!

ALSO YES, THERE IS, IF IT IS SENTIENT AND HAS SPIKES!

:hitler: - HITLER APPROVES

[Zandor 12]

RETURN FROM ANCIENT STORAGE!!!

I HAVE FOUND THE FORUM'S NEW ADDRESS.

Glad there are other people who appreciate this game's awesomeness. Eternity is the most over-the-top awesome song I've heard in awhile. Surlent, it's been awhile since I've played but from what I recall the library cards are just a red herring to drive completists mad; you probably already have all of them, despite what the game says. The basketball raising is also a similar joke, and there is no way to hack a vending machine - that's just a Bioshock reference.

[Aeris]

Woah, it's you! Weird, I thought I e-mailed you teh new address, APPARENTLY NOT! SORRY SIR!

:ZOMGSUEPURSYAIAN:

OW CALM DOWN D00D!