Faded, amina

[Fort Venth]

((Fort was six, Amina would have been eight.))

His Maman was dead.

He was taking it pretty well, he thought. Even though he'd cried when it had happened, with him just a few rooms away playing with some of the other kids, he'd taken it well. Pere and Mere had told him that she was in a better place, and then had allowed him to take his time thinking about it. Nobody had tried to drag him out of himself, as he took to a thinking place for a while. He wasn't much of a thinker, admittedly. Most of them had made fun of his not-thinking pretty often.

But he had decided that making things would maybe be the easier way of getting over things. He'd spent a couple weeks in his bedroom, mostly, and going outside when he dared. Though he wasn't romping and playing, he had collected some of the flowers from the garden and then retreated indoors to work with them. Maman had taught him how to press them, preserve the prettiness of them forever. She said it was a lot like taking pictures, so that you could remember the beauty of a moment for the rest of your life. Though he didn't necessarily think this was a very beautiful moment in life, he knew it was a time he wanted to have remembered.

Because he wanted to remember her and the light she had been for him. So, awkward bobble-head and all, the getting-stocky little boy had started pressing flowers in the books he had scrounged from around the house, weaving their stems together until he had one little preserved bouquet after another. They decorated his room now, and he was kind of running out of reason to do it. But then it hit him, because Fort was smart like that.

He should not have been the only one to remember Maman like that. He wanted Pere and Mere to as well, and he wanted Mi and Cress and the other kids. He had started working on colours that he thought represented their personalities well, adding in a bit of violet that he'd seen outside to the yellows and oranges he'd chosen for his oldest sibling before padding out of his room that day. Instead of seeking solace, as he had since the event that had been destined to change him, he'd bee-lined for his sister's room.

He knocked the way he talked; loud and powerful as he waited for her to open the door, the pressed bouquet in both of his hands. Maybe he'd made hers too big. He did that sometimes, made things bigger than they needed to be. But it was hardly a secret that Mi was his favourite blood sibling, since the others were too little to play with him just yet, and Cress was just weird. He didn't like doing normal things, like wrestling or growling. In fact, Fort was pretty sure he couldn't. "Mi?" Just in case she hadn't realised it was him by the knocking, he called out for her, probably waking up half the house.

It was three in the morning, after all. But that was when he'd decided to do this, and so, that was when he was starting.

[Amina Venth]

outfit

She chased after her siblings, laughing. Last one to the kitchen would get tickled, so she had to run fast! Everyone was faster, but that didn't matter, because she had a horsie, so she would win and then tickle-attack them all! Fort and Bol and Ita and Pel and Jor and Eme and Wao would all get tickled and tickled and tickled. She jumped off the back of her horsie - loud noises!

Amina scrambled upright in her bed, heart pumping, fist rubbing at her eye. Oh, it was the door. She cocked her head to the side, scrambling out of her bed - it was a full, Mere called it - it was very big. The little girl padded barefoot to her door, Mis held under her arm. A bit of a wrestle with the doorknob in the slight light of her night-shaded room and it was open.
"Fort? Whazzit?" Her voice was slurred with sleep, rubbing at her eye again as she looked at her brother quizzically. "Nigh'mare? Kin sleep wiv me." Only as she blinked herself to some form of wakefulness did she notice he was holding something. Surprising considering it was practically the size of her head at the height of her nose.

[Fort Venth]

She talked cute. Maman had always liked it, even if his voice wasn't much better. He was growly and tough-sounding, and she was... well, she was a little girl. But she knew how to play, and that was all that really mattered to Fort. He offered Mi a small grin, shaking his head (though when all was said and done, he'd likely crawl back into bed with her - he'd missed his sister). "No, I... I made you somethin'," he stammered out, too loud for the early morning.

There were babies and adults and teenagers and other kids all through the house, and he was probably going to wake up half of them. He was getting big, and the bigger he got, the bigger his voice became. It was a problem, he guessed. Mere had said that it made it hard not to know when he was around. He wondered if that meant it was hard not to notice when he wasn't, too. Had the house been quieter, with him holed up in his room?

Didn't matter, really. He didn't care if they had or hadn't, provided nobody got upset.

Fort took a deep breath (those were important when you were making reveals), and swung the bouquet of pressed flowers around from behind his back for her, all the violets and yellows and oranges together in his hand. It took a while, getting their dried stems woven together, to make them perfect. But it was worth it. "It's for you!"

[Amina Venth]

Amina was something her Mere called a heavy sleeper. She still wasn't, even while standing up, fully awake. So she blinked sleepily at her brother, having trouble deciphering his words, despite the volume. Her shock at there suddenly being something in her face was understandable, with that knowledge.

Unfortunately, the shock included a leap back and dropping of her kitty. Still, she recovered well, for all the motions had been what fully woke her up. Her hands clapped over her mouth in shock as her eyes shone. There was no hesitation to her words, exuberant despite her exhaustion.
"Oh, Fort, it's beautiful!" Mis was forgotten on the floor as she gently took the bouquet from her brother and walked it over to a vase on her vanity. She didn't have much stuff on it that you were 'supposed' to, at least if you compared hers to Mere's, but she had a jar of fun fluffy brushes and a little thing of perfume and her couple tubes of lip gloss. She didn't take the fluffy brushes out of their jar, because she had another jar, more a vase. Another of her siblings had made it, like they had made her the jar that her fluffy brushes were in. The vase was glass, a pretty soft blue that Ril had run a gold vine around, after Mez had finished making it. Ulaqana had been the one, Ril had told her, that suggested the little gemstones from the clothing workshop be pressed in to give the vine flowers.

She could still see the stems in the vase, and stepped away happily back towards Fort. The little girl picked up her kitty on the way, tucking him into the crook of her arm. Standing on tiptoe allowed her to press a kiss to Fort's cheek.
"Thank you, Fort. Wanna come sleep wiv me?" Yes, she knew what that normally meant, like when Mere and Pere did things, to each other or to others, or when the dais did things. This was Fort. He wasn't her dai, he was Fort. It didn't matter, cause he was Fort and she was tired and just wanted to curl up in his warmth and go back to sleep. She tugged on her brother's hand, towing him to her bed, like it or not.

[Fort Venth]

He knew half-asleep when he saw it. He hadn't been sleeping well himself, not lately. Not since Maman had died. And even though he was feeling better, he didn't really look it. There were dark circles beneath the near-black red of his eyes, peeking out from under dark clumps of hair that had lost its shine. He looked paler, frailer. Just enough to make a difference. He was still a proud half-Martian, after all! He ate like there was never going to be another meal if he didn't.

He peered around the bouquet of pressed flowers, grinning sheepishly as he watched his sister leap away from him then. He always forgot that other people cared about sudden movements, especially his siblings. Even the ones that smelt less like the wild and more like just home cared when he was too quick, or too excited. But he wanted her to have it, because what was really going to make things better was making the people around him happier.

He peered through the darkness after her, craning his neck through her door to watch where she was taking the gift. Fort was curious more than anything, trying to see if she actually enjoyed his new hobby, or was simply trying to be nice. But she was clearing a space for them and everything, and that was... well, that was pretty cool! He grinned, one smaller than those he'd worn in the months before Maman had passed, but a grin nonetheless.

Uh, was he supposed to be sleeping in the same bed with Mi? Now that he was all grown up and stuff? He wasn't completely sure, but that had never really stopped him before. He wasn't normally one to hesitate, but he was right then. He knew what 'sleep with me' meant! He'd heard and smelt and sometimes even seen a little. He wasn't totally dumb. But he didn't like his own sister like that. Ew!

But it appeared he had no choice in the matter, being dragged towards her bed by his hand. He shrugged, more to himself than her, and clambered up onto her bed after her. He was already so much wider, he noticed, sitting back on his haunches for a moment before tucking himself in behind his sister. He laid in quiet for a moment, shifting awkwardly under the unfamiliar sheets. Didn't smell quite like his, not totally. "Mi?" he attempted to whisper, voice cracking and carrying louder than he'd meant for it to. "What d'you think happens when... when people go asleep forever?"

Fort had been hearing a lot about that, lately. When Pere and Mere had tried to talk to him, they'd had their theories. Some of their siblings had had others. Even Maman, before she'd left, had told him something. But the only opinion that mattered, he was tucking an arm around, pulling closer to him. Her smell was comforting, even if they weren't dais.

[Amina Venth]

Most adults complemented Pere and Mere on her, on her beauty and her manners (well, most of the time she was fairly well mannered). Most adults didn't see Amina at three o'clock in the morning after being woken up. At this point she was, in a word, not. Even the fact that she managed to take the flowers and put them in the vase and give her brother words instead of grunts and growls was progress to how she normally was when woken before her normal time.

Amina thought hard about Fort's question as he snuggled her against him, her head nudging against his chest.
"Well, uh, I dunno, Fort. Um," she shifted Mis in her arms so he was less squished between the two of them. "I think, I think they go somewhere. Somewhere safe, an'happy an'wiv no pain. An' they watch us, cuz they love us, so they wanna see what we do, make sure we stay outta trouble. Soz they kin help us, sometimes, yeah." The little girl nodded, happy with her thought. It had to be true, cause sometimes she thought she smelled Rilpa's perfume, or heard Kip's laugh.

[Fort Venth]

He'd never really had a problem with cuddling. Lots of people liked to touch, and he was one of them. Hugs were important to him, because they meant that you were special to someone and they were special to you. At least, that was what he had been told. He instinctively wrapped around his sister, older though she was, his chin coming to rest at the top of her head as he carefully considered her words.

So death... didn't hurt, then. At least, not by Mi's standards. Fort frowned a bit, thinking of the other versions he'd heard. "Zep says death hurts," he started slowly, never the best with words, "And that the hurt is the reason we hurt, too. Oz said they just fall asleep and never wake up, so if they have a bad dream, then they're stuck there."

And that would be awful. Sometimes, when he had bad dreams, he got to get up in the night and eat cookies and ice cream and anything else he wanted. But only if nobody caught him. Not like the adults would ever let him. "I like your kind of after-dead better," he stated, yawning a little bit more, "I want Maman to stay wi'me forever, even if it means I can't see her."

[Amina Venth]

Amina struggled with her thoughts for a second, after he spoke.

"Zep is right, but Oz ain't. Zep an'I are right, it hurts, when it happens, but then it doan't hurt, an'they watch us, somewhere safe." She nodded with finality. Yeah, that sounded good, so that was what had to happen. She yawned and snuggled in further.

"Now kin we sleep?" Without waiting for a response, Amina did just that, falling back from her half-asleep state to totally asleep with the speed of one very young and without many worries.