NOT QUITE A FAIRY TALE

[KERRY ISABELLA SINNEL]

those secrets hidden in our childish lips
WOULD DIE FOR A KISS

Secrets were killing her. Kerry could not keep herself together any longer. No one had seen her out. Sometimes friends would visit, but she never really kept people around. She wore jackets non-stop. She said she was always cold. If she was ever around Nate or Chris and Ashlee, she just walked next to them. She was not as clingy before as she use to be before her trip to Spain.

Hey Chris, Ashlee, and Nate!

I’m sorry for such an awkward way to get in contact with all of you. E-mail. God! How impersonal can I get, huh? I was on the computer when I had this idea, and I thought it would be the easiest way to do this and explain everything of why I’ve chosen you three for this.

A dinner tonight at the small Italian restaurant off Bridgeton. Everything will be on me. I have a new job online that pays me well, and I haven’t been spending much money lately so I got it. I really miss you guys, and I think this will be a way to make up for my absence in your lives lately.

I feel I owe everyone apologies.

Christian: I’m sorry that I have left you. You have Ashlee now and I don’t think I should impose myself on you and threaten that relationship again. I’ve seen your pictures on facebook. You look so happy, and I cannot take that away from you.

Ashlee: I know we hardly like each other, but I have a respect for you now as Chris’s girlfriend. I do not ever take his happiness from him on purpose. I feel that since you are in his life, we should build a bond again.

Nathan Paul: I owe you the biggest apology ever in my life. Since we met, we’ve had a connection. I never thought our ‘meetings’ would ever lead into the special thing we have now. You mean the world to me. I have been frightened by how much I care for you, Nate. You have been my life for the past year. I’m sorry that I let that fear get in the way of us.

To you all, there is another explanation for my absence. I shall tell you all about it at dinner. Please show up. I cannot tell my news without all of you there. This is greater than me, and I need all of your support. Thank you, and I can’t wait to see you and rekindle our relationships.

Kerry Sinnel


----------------


Kerry stood outside the restaurant. She wanted anything to calm her nerves at the moment. She was about to be in the presence of three people she had totally ignored when she should have had them around the most. She felt miserable about it all. She was going to stand outside until they all got there.

She was wearing a black jacket around her. It looked like it had been a guy’s jacket. It was a Boys Like Girls jacket. She was happy with it. Under the jacket she was wearing a baggy pair of Boyfriend-Jeans. She loved the style and how loose fitting it was. It was making her feel better about herself at the moment. No one could see anything but her face. Her face was lacking its normal amount of make up. She just had on eyeliner, mascara, and gold eye shadow. Her curly hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and strands were floating around her face.

Kerry had no idea how she was going to talk about herself to them. What had kept her from them. She knew she had to do it though. It was heart wrenching, but the truth had to be told. Her shame would never wash away unless she told them all the truth on her feelings. Only the truth can set one free.

She bit her chapped lip. Kerry knew that this was hurting more than anything. She felt sick. She wanted to run back to her apartment and throw in a Disney movie of some sorts. She knew she had to stand strong though. Like the heriones in the moves she was in love with so much. Kerry had to be the one she felt like she could.

Plus, her heart skipped a beat everytime she thought of being near Nate again.

TAGNate, Chris, Ashlee!!!
LYRICS"Weeping Willow" by The Hush Sound!!!
WORD COUNT740!!!
NOTESAwwwww She needs them!!!!

[ASHLEE JENNETTE SHIMA]

And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow

Ashlee Jenette Shima was the happiest she'd ever been in a long time. Think little kid long, with how you were happy and nothing could get you out of that mood. Everything was back to where it should've been five months ago. Of course, minus the engagement to Chris. Their bond so much stronger than it had been before the engagement. He's happy and she's happy. No more of the 'he said, she said' crap when they were going throuh in the breakup. They had both regretted the breakup in their own way. Hers had been not trusting Christian when he was with Kerry. Oh, and how it had been Hell to not be connected to Chris or Ivan! She knew she had herself to thank for that, but knew it had also been someone else's fault.

Her mother's.

If Ashlee had not listened to her, she wouldn't have been sent home and to a shrink. And not had all of this hate for Kerry and her sister, Jessica. Ashlee made a mental note to ask Kerry about getting in touch with Jessica.. Jessica deserved an apology as well. Ashlee knew part of the blame was her, but the rest of it had been her mother's. Her mother had told her lies about there's no one who will hate her. That's she's loveable. Yeah right! It started that way and ended opposite of when she came to Cashmere Academy. Ashlee had Christian, Ivan, and other friends who liked her. However, her own I'm better than thou attitude -- partly because of her mother-- ruined all those friendships. She just hoped she could make up for that with talking to everyone.

That day Christian came over to her newly acquired apartment had been the start of something new. Ashlee knew the day Christian came over was going to be good news. Maybe it was in God's plan for Kerry to intercept their engagement. Oh, and by the way, Ashlee goes to church now. Not Protestant like she use to be, but Methodist. She decided to change her church religion as well. Ashlee had done research and decided that Methodist will fit in. She had told Christian about it and had asked him to come, too. Ashlee wasn't going to force him, but she'll feel more better about it if she had someone familiar with her. And plus, the church felt like a family should. Loving and concerned.

Ashlee was surprised when she got on her email account and saw she had an email from Kerry. Kerry had been the last person she'd expect to email her. Oh, all right, it was acutally Jessica she'd least expect to email her. Nevertheless, an email from Kerry was just as surprising! Ashlee had promised to make amends with Kerry one way or another! She didn't deserve the hatred she gave back during High school. Not at all. Ashlee reigned in her excitment about getting an email from Kerry and opened the email. It was addressed to Christian, Nate, and herself. Ashlee wondered what the email was going to be about when it pertains to the three people who she'd fought and argued with throughtout Senior year.

---------------------------------------

Hey Chris, Ashlee, and Nate!

I’m sorry for such an awkward way to get in contact with all of you. E-mail. God! How impersonal can I get, huh? I was on the computer when I had this idea, and I thought it would be the easiest way to do this and explain everything of why I’ve chosen you three for this.

A dinner tonight at the small Italian restaurant off Bridgeton. Everything will be on me. I have a new job online that pays me well, and I haven’t been spending much money lately so I got it. I really miss you guys, and I think this will be a way to make up for my absence in your lives lately.

I feel I owe everyone apologies.

Christian: I’m sorry that I have left you. You have Ashlee now and I don’t think I should impose myself on you and threaten that relationship again. I’ve seen your pictures on facebook. You look so happy, and I cannot take that away from you.

Ashlee: I know we hardly like each other, but I have a respect for you now as Chris’s girlfriend. I do not ever take his happiness from him on purpose. I feel that since you are in his life, we should build a bond again.

Nathan Paul: I owe you the biggest apology ever in my life. Since we met, we’ve had a connection. I never thought our ‘meetings’ would ever lead into the special thing we have now. You mean the world to me. I have been frightened by how much I care for you, Nate. You have been my life for the past year. I’m sorry that I let that fear get in the way of us.

To you all, there is another explanation for my absence. I shall tell you all about it at dinner. Please show up. I cannot tell my news without all of you there. This is greater than me, and I need all of your support. Thank you, and I can’t wait to see you and rekindle our relationships.

Kerry Sinnel

---------------------------------------

The eighteen and three quarters year old read and then re-read that email two more times. Each time she read it, she'll slow down in order to really understand it. Not that Kerry's message wasn't clear. She just really wanted to understand it. There was nothing wrong with doing that. Nothing at all in her opinion. It just shows that you're into detail and not someone who rushes. Just to make sure it wasn't a scam or any thin of the sort, she'll text Christian the contents of Kerry's email. She hit paste into her cell phone and then pressed send. Her hazel hues glanced to the bottom right where the time was on her computer. She'll also forward it to Nate. She wanted to know the boys's thoughts on the email.

Ashlee got dressed as she waited on one, if not both, boys to answer her text. She'll dress herself in a brown bluse with frilly material close to the buttons anda brown tank underneath. She'll pull on some blue jeans, not realizing they were Chris's till they hung on her. Oops... She'll take them off and put on some of her own. Ashlee pulled the top layer of her deep brown all most black tresses back. She had gone abit deeper brown for a haircolor. No longer the chesnut brown. The deep brown complimened her golden brown skin color. She'll pull on some ballet flatts and refreshed her makeup. Gloss, mascara, and eyeshadow. She'll then spray some cherry blossom perfume and stepped under it., letting it sprinkle her.

---

Words// 1172
Lyrics// The Corrs 'Breathless'

[NATHANIEL JAMES WAY]

Sweetheart I'm sorry but you're not the first.


With lust in my eyes,
I'll be undressing you with every word with love on my lips.

For some strange reason of nature, Nate decided to check his email. And what a good thing that had been! Seriously, on an average he might check it once maybe twice a year. Give or take a few depending on his mood. When he sat down on his bed with his lap top, cigarette in place sticking from the corner of his mouth, he had nothing better to do than go through junk mail. It wasn't like Nate ever got any email anyway, usually Kerry with some joke or funny picture of her butt cheeks just to make him laugh but since Kerry disappeared again and barely spoke to him, there was no reason to check it. Scanning through the list of mail, her name popped out from the middle of two porn sites and a scam trying to get him to buy weed online. It read urgent....

His finger grazed over the enter button nervously. Should he read it? It was more than likely a picture of her boob just to tease him and frankly, he wasn't in the mood to be teased. It had been weeks, maybe months since he so much as kissed her last. When was the last time they actually had an intimate moment? Well.. a while! And not to mention the breif speaking. When he called it was like she would sho him away, 'Can't talk, studying!' or even the famous 'Washing my hair TTYL'. After that one he stopped trying and basically figured she just didnt need him anymore. She had what she wanted from him and that was it. And it hurt.

What Kerry didn't realize was that she took more from him that any other girl could have ever dreamed to accomplish. Somewhere along the lines, around the flings and between the sheets, she stole his heart.
And then stepped on it right when he thought it was the right time to give in completely to her. So sitting here staring at the name of the girl whom you thought loved you made him want to scream. Maybe he could write her back and tell her to just face up and say it if she didnt want him anymore instead of leading him on! That was what he was going to do... the letter popped open and to his surprise was just that.. a letter.. no picture, no funny faces, no boobs, just.. a real written letter..

His eyes scanned it over quickly. The cigarette fell from his lips as he sat up to re-read what he just saw, what was this?! The first section was a blur, the part about Chris and Ash, that meant nothing to him. It was his own name and the words behind it that caught him. You mean the world to me The cigarette had fell to his bare leg and for the first few moments, he didnt even notice it but now the ash was falling from the tip, burning the hair off of his left calf. He jumped up and dusted himself quickly, muttering cuss words under his breath before grabbing the computer and checking the date. He looked to the clock. He had a half of an hour to get there. If he didnt make it, she might think he didnt think the same for her. Oh his head hurt! The damn restaraunt was a nice one and all of his clothes were dirty just about except for a pair of Deisel jeans and a black Slayer shirt with a small hole on the hem from jumping a fence last year.

Time was running out, he tossed on the worn looking outfit and grabbed his sneakers before bursting out the dorm room door. As he was walking out the door, his phone buzzed, Ashlee Shima lit up the screen. Psh, she wasn't worth it, he jabbed his phone in his pocket and hauled ass out the door. Damn! Fuck! Shit! His car was at the shop! What a day to chose to get your schocks changed! Crap! He looked up the street and down the other side. It was going to be a pain, but he started off in a run. The place wasn't toooo far but far enough for someone with no athletic ability.

But as far as it seemed, he made it with no time to spare. She was standing there waiting for them and it looked as though he was the first to arrive. Could it be the others werent coming? "Hey" he said breathlessly. He stood for a second leaning against the wall to catch his breath whcih wasn't possible, she looked amazing, and that made it hard to breathe as well.

[KERRY ISABELLA SINNEL]

those secrets hidden in our childish lips
WOULD DIE FOR A KISS

Kerry took her phone out from her pocket. Time was pressing close. She wondered if they got her message. She worried more if they actually wanted to show up or not. She wouldn't have blamed them, but she would have to take more of an effort into talking to them. She was really dreading doing this. Her nerves were going insane. She felt as if she would be sick.

She had a few people stop and ask her if she was okay. She just nodded and they kept on their way. She felt as if she were looking death in the face. She probably was, but that was why she needed them. It was a better chance to stand strong. She needed the support. She needed something she needed


"Hey"


Her heart paused for a moment. She stood there, frozen in place. She wanted nothing more than to turn around to see it was true. However, for the last few months, she heard that same word, but whenever she would turn to see the truth, it was only her mind playing games. She had to get up the courage to see if this was true or false. Was he really there? Kerry had dreamt of this moment for a while. She never thought it would ever be this terrifying.

She turned around to see him leaning against the wall. Tears flooded up to her eyes. He came. Nate was there. He was the first. She fought the tears with her hardest. He looked so...majestic. It was an odd word to describe this estranged boy. Two years ago, to Kerry, he would have been the random drug kid with an amazing touch and a bunch of cool video games. Now, Kerry was looking at him and all she saw the the prince in the stories Lorenzo use to read to her and she tried to invision herself in. Of course, this was not like how she saw herself back then. Yet, she would give anything to turn his image to the world and let them see him how she did.

She took a few steps towards him. She didn't want to get too close to him. Kerry was using ever ounce of self control to keep herself from throwing him at him. Now, she had to figure out how to talk to say hello. She was trying to keep her courage strong. She was having so much trouble doing that. She wanted to just run again. She wanted to go back to Senior year. Despite all the drama, Kerry had never felt more happier. She spent every waking moment with the things she loved: Cheering, Chris, and most importantly, Nate.

She felt her vocal chords coming from their paralyzed state. They were vibrating like crazy and Kerry was able to speak, "I love you." Those were not the words she wanted to say! She threw her hand up to her mouth to pervent herself from speaking again. She took a few steps back. Her eyes were wide, staring at him. She wanted a response. Kerry had to keep her distance though. She couldn't let him near her. Not yet.

She wished she had never spoken a damn word. She was anger at herself. These emotions flowing around her were setting her off easy. She bit her lip. She looked to the ground for a moment, taking deep breaths. "Please, don't come near me right now. I just, I can't take contact right now. I'll explain when the other two get here. I only have the ability to say this once, and I have to wait for Ashlee and Christian." She felt like a bitch. She said she loved him, but she couldn't kiss him. She couldn't run to him. "I do love you though. I've been in love with you for a while. I guess this is the best time to let you know. " her heart was throbbing. It felt absolutely amazing to get this off her chest. Kerry shoved her hands into her pockets and looked back up to Nate, dying to see his expression.

TAGNate!!!
LYRICS"Weeping Willow" by The Hush Sound!!!
WORD COUNT700!!!
NOTESFina-freaking-ly!!! Its said. [:!!!

[CHRISTIAN JAY INANOV]

will wait for you
so baby ICause i don't
know what else i can do

Chris was shocked at how happy he felt when he heard from Kerry. It wasn't the confused I - think -I'm- in- love-with- you kind of feeling either. It was just plain happy friendship. Hi life was feeling right for the first time in a long time. He had his girl, his friend and even Nate was warming up to him a bit. Since Kerry had disappeared for a bit, Nate had no one to really talk with so Chris was there to take him out to a club or pizza and do the boy stuff.

It was hard to notice kerry being out of the picture. Sure he missed her but with school, hanging with Nate and Ashlee and his brother he hardly had time to grieve her absence. She would text him once or twice and he'd text back but if he'd get no answer he'd forget and run to the next thing he had to do. Life was hectic but it was back to normal finally. Everything was peiced where it needed to be and it felt so good. The only thing that bugged him was why she left and what was this news? He was even glad that she included Ashlee in this.

As he walked up to the restaraunt he saw Nate and Kerry already there. Nate looking flustered as if he ran a mile and Kerry looking uncomfortable slightly. "Hey!" he said, his face lighting up with a smile. His eyes flickered between the two casually. Nate's face looked like he'd been hit struck by something hard. But there was no mark to prove it. What was going on? He kept his cool demeanor on though and turned to see if Ash was here yet. "No Ash yet? God she's late for everything."he laughed.

[ASHLEE JENNETTE SHIMA]

And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow

As Ashlee touched up her makeup and changed clothes, she'd check her messages. This had been the fifth time she'd check and there wasn't any messages from Christian or Nate. Ashlee didn't believe that Kerry had sent that email. Kerry had been for months and had just came back one time. Ashlee saw her as she had just walked out from the Express store, Both had kept a friendly tone, but each knew they could care less for the other. Kerry had been sick then as, for once, they didn't argue. And then Kerry had disappeared again. Some said heartbreak, others said a job had came up in Spain. Ashlee highly doubted it's the first option of heartbreak. Heartbreak and Kerry never happened. Kerry, the Queen of Cashmere. At least then, but now it's the real world. The real world where the pettyness stopped and it was based on your education and hard work.

The conversation she had with Kirt the other day surfaced and reared its ugly head. Was history going to repeat itself? Would she just end up third best after Kerry and Ivan again? No! She will not allow history to repeat itself. Kirt's just trying to get shit started between all three of the individuals. He's just trying to get shit started so he wasn't bored. Yes, the individuals's past had a way of coming back to nip you, but not this time. Ashlee wanted to give Kerry the well deserved benefit of a doubt. That she won't take Christian and his brother away from her. That their High School past will stay in the past. So all of the individuals can become friends again before all the drama happen. However, one thing was for sure: Ashlee learned from her mistakes and she was keeping an open mind.

Ashlee grabbed her keys and jacket as she left her apartment. Closing the door behind her, she headed down the stairs and out onto the street. The female knew she's late and picked up the pace. The resturant's not far from her apartment. Again, Ashlee checked her messages for a new messgage from either Nate or Chris. Nada. Ziltch. Why were the two males not texting her back? And what was up with the sidewalks? They were extra crowded, but she forgot about the holiday coming up. Columbus Day. Ashlee started running abit more and finally saw the Italian resturant sign. She'll fight to get through people and wished she had messaged Chris. Christian could get people to part as she had his jecket on. The jacket smelled just like him and was very warm. Just what she needed to be content.

Ashlee finally made it as she came up to the three individuals. She'll easily notice Chris as he had been the person she was counting on to see first. Ashlee moved over, seeing Nate and Kerry. Something about Nate said he had been clobbered and Kerry looked abit flushed as if she had said something. Christian looked cool as ever as she smiled to them all. Ashlee kept "Hey." She'll say to the group before leaning up and giving Chris a peck on the lip. Her hazel hues then landed on Kerry. She'd move over and hug her. " Nice to see you again." Ashlee said to Kerry as she nodded her head to Nate. The two were getting abit more along.. She didn't know how, but thought it might be because of Chris. Ashlee moved back next to Christian. She was willing to give Kerry another chance and ignore what Kirt said. Kirt tried to be caring, she could tell, but wasn't having an easy time doing it. Ashlee was glad he's dating someone like Pippa. Maybe it's a new start for him.

---

Words// 1172
Lyrics// The Corrs 'Breathless'

[KERRY ISABELLA SINNEL]

those secrets hidden in our childish lips
WOULD DIE FOR A KISS

Kerry gave a small smile to Chris. He really was not good with timing at all. After confessing how much she was in love with Nate(the boy she never thought she could love) and waiting for his reaction, Christian (the boy she knew she would fall for) came strolling along, making a crack joke at Ashlee (the girl who she stole him from and got back together with after she left the country). Kerry was more than annoyed with Chris more than anything at the moment. Chris hadn’t had the common courtesy to ever call or write to tell her he had gotten back with Ashlee. She found out from Nate on the ride home from the airport. Kerry had to hide how crushed she was. Though she was in love with Nate, Chris was still in her heart. She felt attached to him, as if part of her was his.

This was turning into the most discomfited situation to ever exist. Kerry just shook her head and cursed out the fact that she wasn’t going to get a reward for this moment in life. She wished this was video taped and sent into award shows for a “Most Awkward Moment” trophy. She put on a brave face. This was not going to get to her. Kerry wouldn’t allow being with the both of them again to ruin her courage for tonight. “Hey Christian. Thanks for showing up. I’m really glad you and Ash decided to make it. I wish she would get here soon. I’m really freaking cold,” she said, adding a slight laughter affect to her voice. She shoved her hands nervously into the pockets of her large jacket. It was large and very warm looking, but Kerry was still visibly shivering.

Ashlee showed up not long later. She watched her kiss Chris and become all clingy. Kerry’s body shivered slightly. If it were from the cold or the display in front of her, she hadn’t known and didn’t want to take a guess. “Thanks for coming, Ashlee. You look great. It is really nice of you.” Kerry looked to her down to her puffy jacket. Everything was going starting to spin a bit. She was getting to be light headed and sick feeling. “Not to be rude or anything, but I really need to get inside.” She waved for them to follow her in. With her passing, Kerry reached out her cold, trembling hand from her pocket and took Nate’s, squeezing it lightly. It was only for a moment. She gave him a soft smile and entered into the warmth of the building. The smell of Italian food hit her stronger than anything. The aroma was hypnotizing. It was euphoric. She had hardly felt well enough to eat all day but a few crackers and toast, but now, it was killing her now that she hadn’t had anything of taste.

She looked to the hostess and smiled, “Table for four. No booth. Non-smoking. Thank you.” Kerry looked over to Nate. “I’m sorry that you can’t smoke, but its for my health. I need to take extra precaution. I’ve already been sick, and it was practically deadly.” She wanted nothing more than to see him sexily taking a drag of a cigarette. She wanted to run up on him in the bedroom and kiss the taste off his lips. She wanted to be curled up on the bed with him, watching the Shrek trilogy and laughing hysterically. She wanted to be alone and happy with him. Under the supervision of Ashlee Shima and Chritian Inanov was never a good place to be. The waitress took them to a table near the back of the small restaurant. The waitress looked over Nate’s attire with a scowl.

Kerry waited until everyone was seated before she decided to speak. She thought about sitting first, but she needed to take off her jacket anyway. This was the easiest way. She cleared her throat slightly. “I’m really glad you guys came. I‘m sorry I’ve been keeping a secret from you. It has not been by any choice but for our health.” Kerry’s left hand was trembling as she reached up to the zipper around her through. Her thumb pressed against the back of the icy metal while her index finger wrapped around the front. She closed her eyes and yanked down the zipper.

She was wearing a yellow shirt that formed tightly to her round stomach. Her breasts were enlarged and her hips seemed to be wider. Kerry was pregnant. It was clearer now than ever. Kerry felt stronger now that she had let it been exposed. Her knees were still weak. She quickly sat down in her chair and scooted more towards the table. She couldn’t get too close because of her stomach. She placed her hand on the top of large abdomen and patted it lightly.

“I’ve been calling it Speckle. I don’t know the sex yet. I’ll find out next week. Speckle likes Italian food so I chose this place because I knew it would agree with my system. Speckle is a big fan of musicals. Music in general really. I play a lot of everything for it. It likes high beat songs. Nothing too slow. Speckle likes to be warm.” Kerry stared down at her stomach. It was hard talking about Speckle to anyone. She had spent the pass few months trying to hide her baby. Now, Speckle was open to the people that mattered most, and the girlfriend that happened to be there. Kerry smiled as she continued rubbed her stomach.

“Speckle also had a twin Jess and I called Spot. They run in my family. You noticed I said the word ‘had’. It happened in Spain, right before I returned home. I said earlier that I was sick and it was practically deadly. My uterus is too small, and when I when I had gotten this horrible flu, I kept my body tense. It suffocated Spot. Spot has been removed already from me. Speckle survived, though, and I healed just fine. But, my uterus hasn’t expanded enough. Speckle could still suffocated like Spot. It scares me. Especially now that my sister is gone and I don’t have support. I wanted to tell you guys because I hoped I could rely on my friends, and hopefully, the father.”

Kerry’s words were now stuck in her throat. It was always hard to talk about Spot. Kerry had a longing for her twins. She spent a week upset over it. Jessica was making trips for her. Finally, Jess had gotten sick of her sister moping and knew it wasn’t good for Speckle so she made her get her ass up. Since that moment, Kerry has been living her life of the best of her Speckle. She began taking care of herself for her baby, doing everything she could to help her baby grow healthy.

She wanted her sister. Kerry would do anything to curl up next to Jess. She needed her other half of her egg. Kerry was dying inside. For nearly four months she was reliant on Jessica. Since Jessica had left, Kerry felt totally alone.

She closed her eyes and blinked some tears out. “Sorry. Hormones.” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Kerry didn’t want to do this. She felt like she was asking them for pity. She didn’t feel like she would deserve pity at all. She couldn’t look at the boys. She couldn’t bring herself to look at her best friends in her biggest time of need.

“The father is one of you. I left in early June. Everyone basically knew I was sleeping with Nate. Lets not waste time on the obvious. Ashlee and Nate, I know you didn’t know that I had also had sexual relations with Chris. I’m sorry for telling this, Chris, but I would never do it if I didn’t feel it was right.” She felt like she just slapped Nate across the face. If she did, it probably would hurt less to the both of them. Kerry wished this had never happened. “It wasn’t many times. About three or four, but one of them was around the time I left. We had been drinking a bit. Its no excused for what happened, but it was part of the reasoning.” Kerry took the cloth napkin from around her silver ware and began to twist it between her hands. It felt better to have something to play with as she admitted everything. “Anyway, you two were the only ones I’ve been with. I promise. I just, I don’t know which one of you it could be. I really don’t have a clue.”

She wiped her eyes again. She felt Speckle start to kick. Kerry grimaced a bit. She hushed at her stomach a bit. She knew Speckle could feel her getting upset. The baby did not like it when she was not happy. Her body tensed up, meaning her uterus as well. Kerry had to keep happy attitudes as much as she could. She had to try to keep calm, or she could suffocate Speckle.

“Ashlee,” Kerry said, not lifting her head in the slightly, “its not that I didn’t trust Chris to tell you. I did trust him, but I wanted to tell you myself. I wanted to admit everything to you before you heard it on the grapevine. This isn’t something you chose to be part of. But, I want you to stay with Christian. He didn’t think this would happen. Who did think it would happen?”

Kerry decided to address the boys. “I don’t ask for money. You are my best friends, and I want that to remain always true. What I do want is for Speckle to have a dad. I can handle everything else. I’m not too concerned about making ends meet. I just don’t want it to never know what an amazing man it’s father is. I know how amazing both of you are. The thing is that I always worshiped my daddy as a little girl. There was never a greater man. I want my child to know that feeling. Daddies are like Superman to children.”

Kerry started crying harder. She felt Speckle kick again. She was trying to calm down, but she couldn’t seem to stop her pain. Her baby was trying to help her. She couldn’t control herself anymore. It was hard and stressful to be in this situation. “I’m so sorry for putting this on you guys. I need someone. I am so done talking now. Please, don’t hate me.”

Kerry finally fell silent. She waited for the first voice to speak. She could see herself loosing her best friends. She could see them walking out on her. Kerry wouldn’t have blamed them. She would have done it to herself. Her arms wrapped protectively around her stomach, hugging her baby the best she could. If they were to leave her, throw her out, Kerry knew Speckle would not survive. She knew she would never be able to recover from such a hurtful blow. Kerry was scared of the consequences, but she had to cause the effect. It was for her precious child whom she had fallen in love with.

TAGCHRISTI-ANN[:!!!
LYRICS"Weeping Willow" by The Hush Sound!!!
WORD COUNT1900!!!
NOTESThis post is in dedication to the idea in my head for months and months, the great music used to create the atmosphere, and One Tree Hill. Yay for things that create fascinating muse.!!!

[NATHANIEL JAMES WAY]

Sweetheart I'm sorry but you're not the first.


With lust in my eyes,
I'll be undressing you with every word with love on my lips.

Nate's mouth curled up in a smile. He could kiss her! He always thought Kerry wanted Chris, but just now, she admitted that she loved HIM. He was extatic. He licked his lips and took a step forward, still trying to breathe from the run here. His movement was cut short though as her hand went up. Please, don't come near me right now. I just, I can't take contact right now His brows flickered in wonder. Was she sick? Was it contageous? couldn't be though, she asked them all to come. And just as Nate was going to respond and tell her he loved her more than anything in this world, Chris showed up with all his stupid rich glory. Nate glared at the boy. Sure they had been 'friends' recently but it was still hard to know that at one point Kerry wanted the stud. He wasa speehcless now. Chris just walked in on the most important moment in Nate's life and ruined it. Then to make matters even more worse, Ashlee showed up. He was getting used to these two but right now, he wanted to be with Kerry. Not them...

And then Kerry motioned them in. The place was fancy pantsy and Nate's attire was so not appropriate for the atmosphere. But as always, he didn't care. The waitors looked to him with snooty looks and noses pudged up but all Nate did was wave and smile, making them more pissed. A phrase caught him off guard as Kerry got them a table... non smoking. His smile faded and he glanced at Kerry who was apologizing. No words were coming from his mouth. He just... didn't like how this was looking so far. The way she spoke talked as if she was dying of cancer. He just wasn't sure how he would be able to cope with that!

He took his seat at the table across from Kerry and sipped the water that was placed in front of him. He never quite understood why putting water in a wine glass made it fancy... It was just water! Wel lhe sat there, avoiding everyone's gaze as best he could and tried to just sit there but Kerr ystarted talking and it all happened so fast.. her jacket unbuttoned and out popped the bump. All he could do was stare. The water was dripping from his mouth and onto the napkin on the table. It was an ugly sight but he just couldnt speak. There had been two? Wow. Two babies fit in there.. Speckle was the cutest bump in the world! It was his... It had to be! She only slept with....

The father is one of you of course it was one of them, she slept with Nate! He looked at Kerry's eyes as she spoke but he couldn't catch her gaze. It was his... right?I know you didn’t know that I had also had sexual relations with Chris So it had happened. She had wanted Chris just like he thought and.. she got what she wanted. Nate refused to speak. As Kerry went on, Nate couldn't help but picture them together in sheets of perfect silk rolling around with the girl HE loved. that Chris only USED. Nate looked over to Chris who looked like he'd been hit by a bus, his cheeks were flamed and his eyes were wide.

Anyway, you two were the only ones I’ve been with. I promiseNate's hands flew to his face and covered it as he slammed his elbows on the table. People at the table next to him stared at his rudeness and manners. Ugh! He didnt give a damn about that! "Wait.. wait... wait." He said finally breaking the silence. "You slept with me around the time you slept with him?" He wasn't really asking this, more like clearing up in his head al lthe words that cluttered it. Disgusting.. Sure he was a hoe, but Kerry was... different. After he started fooling around with her, no one else got anything from him! He glared at Chris again "You fuckin idiot! You KNEW I love her! YOU FUCKIN KNEW! And you still slept with her! I fucking hate you Chris... you have girls littering your feet and you take mine. What the hel lis wrong with you! Ashlee if I were you, I'd get the fuck away from him fast.. when this glass shatters on his head its going to fly and I'd hate for it to stab you in the eye before you got your chance to beat the hell out of him as well." His fists were clenched but he tried to calm himself down

Nate's eyes looked to her belly. he wanted so badly for it to be his but there was stil la chance that it was shithead's. He couldnt bare to think that the being in her stomach could be Kerry and Chris'. [iIt's mine damn it!.. .she's mine! [/i] his thoughts were a fucked up mess. He wanted her so badly but... what about Chris? If he had to share her with him he'd die. He obviously shared her once, he wans't sure he could bare it again. He was hurt. It was obvious. and he needed a smoke. Bad. If it wasnt for the baby, he'd have lit a fatty up right now, being in the non smoking never mattered before.

His eyes adverted to the glass on the table before him. How could she do this? She JUST said she loved him! and now.. it was burning in flames.. Every inch of hapiness was draining from his body. It wasnt the fact that she was pregnant no, it was the fact that it could be CHRIS'S that killed him.. "it's mine. It has to be!" He mumbled. He would not let Chris take this, not his everything!

[ASHLEE JENNETTE SHIMA]

And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow

It wasn't that Ashlee's so clingy of Christian as to the security Ashlee felt from it. Christian Inanov is her security blanket. All ways had been. As the two had grown up, Christian and Ashlee had never been apart. No matter what he said or done. No matter what she said or done. The two had all ways been there for the other. At a minimum, they'd never stayed mad at each other more than a couple of hours. At the max, it's twenty four hours. Christian knew her like the back of his hands and she him. Selfish as it was, Ashlee hadn't wanted to share him with the world. Ashlee had every right to! The girl who sank her claws into her boyfriend and torn them apart was in front of her. Ashlee had her security blanket forcibly taken from her to where she felt lonely and like there was nothing to live for. She had woken up sick. She'd gone to classes sick. She had gone to her sports practices sick. She had gone to work sick. Basically, Ashlee Jennette Shima had repeated this pattern for five months! It had been Hell without her security blanket. At that exact moment she felt completely and totally selfish. Ashlee had to be the most selfish person in the world. Now she understood why so many people hated her!

Now's the time to test how far she could go without clinging to Christian the whole night. It's going to be the biggest test Ashlee had ever taken. Ashlee can make it through the night without clinging to Christian and telling off Kerry. Ashlee tried to decide what the limits are and how long each limit is. Not limit as in not telling Kerry off, but referring to her clinging. For example: holding his hand. That would be fine. What wouldn't be fine is clinging to his arm. She can make that the reward after they all part ways. It'll certainly be cold when they all went their separate ways. Ashlee can and will do this. She was making it harder then it was. Ashlee stepped away just slightly in order to not hit Chris with her hand as she stuffed her hands into the jacket pockets. Not only that but to move around a bit to warm herself up. She was completely numb! She really wished it would bypass Winter and get to Spring! "Thanks for inviting me, Kerry." Ashlee bit her lip as she had made it over that bump. Ashlee's now a forgive and forget kind of girl. The shrink-- at least-- helped her with that. She wasn't fully able to do it, but she was getting better at it.

Ashlee refrained from rolling her hazel eyes when Kerry said that she really needed to get inside the building. Every damn thing was about Kerry. Like tonight's any different. Ashlee headed inside and sat down at the table after taking her jacket off. Ashlee listened to Kerry but didn't look at her until she saw Christian look flushed. Her hazel hues then looked to her left at Kerry's stomach and then away. Ashlee didn't care about Kerry and never had. She had been the one to bring this on herself. Now she'd probably ask for pity and what ever. Ashlee wasn't giving her any pity. She made her life Hell for all those months. Yes, Ashlee did bring it on herself, but there's a difference. The difference is the choices Kerry could have made. Kerry got herself pregnant by not having safe sex or telling whomever she had it with no. She tensed when she heard that Kerry hoped she'd be able to depend on the father. Her heart started racing waiting for what Kerry was going to say next. Ashlee just hoped that wasn't what she was about to say. That Christian could be the ankle biter's father. Oh god no, please don't let it be true... Ashlee thought to herself or she would be crushed.

The less than a month from being nineteen year old held her breath. Kerry said it. She just had to say it. Christian was a possibility for the ankle biter's father. When it looked like she was about to faint from not breathing, Ashlee inhaled so sharply that her stomach was so flat. Now she had something to think about in her yoga and pilate's classes. The Adam's apple disappeared in her neck, making a smooth curve like she's holding a ball underneath her neck. Her jaw is so very tense that the bones in that area of her facial structure was very prominent. Hazel hues pinned right on her boyfriend, Christian. Christian's going to get chastised in the worst possible way. Just as she was to open her mouth to do just that, Kerry interrupted. Her hazel hues narrowed on Christian as soon as she heard what Kerry said. This was something only Kerry could do and be exactly what Christian would lie to her face about. Tears formed behind her eyes, but she held back to make it look like she wasn't even crying. Another thing the shrink had helped her with. Kerry said some more things, but after that everyone went into a silence. It seemed to have taken everyone sitting at the table by surprise. Not only that, but it was very awkward.

Nate's the first to break the silence between the four of them. Ashlee let him go first as she's still trying to put in order how angry she was at Christian. Also, trying to figure out when he slept with Kerry. Was it still when they had been together or was it after they'd broken up and finally gotten back together? Kerry had caused all of this, so she'll go off on her first and then turn it on Christian."Kerry, this is something only you would do! Kirt was right about you! You're just a show pony!!I let you have a lend of me! And he was certainly right about Christian!" She then turned her anger on Christian. And anger wasn't the right word. There's not even a word that could describe how Ashlee felt or ,in fact, the anger she felt towards Christian. "And this is something you would lie to my face about, you whacker!" It didn't sound right because she reverted back to her Australian words. Words only Christian would understand and knew as he had gone to Australia enough to be a native there. "Don't you realize that your life is over because you'll be paying that show pony child support for the ankle biter if it's yours!? If the ankle biter is yours, i want nothing to do with either of you!" She completely and totally was going back to Australian words. It made her feel better.

"Excuse me, but you're no better than the show pony is! You're a dipstick and a bogan" She bail out with that to go stand outside. Ashlee walked a few feet away from the restaurant and tried to fight back tears. She left her jacket, not in the mood for shrugging it on. Ashlee wanted to try to cool off. The all most nineteen year old felt betrayed as well as crushed. Ashlee had given her heart to him once more and he'd just crushed it. Christian knew his virginity meant a lot to her as she's religious. To say that she was ropeable was an understatement. Again, there's no word to describe her anger towards Christian and her own stupidity for believing she can start over. Ashlee was so numb that the cold didn't even bother her. Kirt had been right. History was repeating itself and if that ankle biter was Christian's, she wanted nothing to do with him or the child. That even included the mother. Ashlee wasn't going to help as that was their job as parents. If the ankle biter was Christian's. Ashlee's cheeks were warm as she hadn't even noticed she was crying. Every once in awhile other people came over and asked if she was okay. She'd lie and tell them she was.

---

Words// 1392
Lyrics// The Corrs 'Breathless'

[CHRISTIAN JAY INANOV]

will wait for you
so baby ICause i don't
know what else i can do

As he sat at the table, the waitor came and brought out drinks. "Coke please." He said and nodded. With an ice cold coke in hand, he sipped happily. This was nice he thought, sitting here with Kerry and Nate and Ashlee. Kind of like a double date. We should ll do this more often. He slid his arm around Ashlee's neck and watched as Kerry started talking. SHe looked.. sort of confused yet happy. He kept sipping on and off from his coke. He wasn't sure what this little meet was but he was glad it was happening. I’ve been calling it Speckle Did she get a new pet? Chris was tuning i nand out of her conversation. He was too busy looking back at forth around him and Ashlle, he caught a glimpse of Nate who was looking at Kerry without looking away. He was glad they were ok and together.

He began to take another sip of his drin kwhen it happened, The father is one of you Father... of... his eyes went from looking at the table suddenly to her stomach and it was clear. His mouth was open like a child's and the drink was spilling out carelessly. THey had sex ONE time... ONE time.. how could it be his? The feeling of rage hit him when Nate spoke. YOU FUCKIN KNEW He just stared at Nate with widened eyes as he picked up the glass and was going to smash him with it. "WHAT! WAIT.. ." then Ashlee cut in and started going off.
If the ankle biter is yours, i want nothing to do with either of you
"Ashlee... no! .. what? We were just..." starting to get back to normal! he wanted to say, but the words would not form.He looked to Kerry again, an unexplainable feeling washed over him. The baby.. THAT baby could be his with a girl he used to love. Still did... but not as much as before. Or was it?

He stared at her while Ashlee rose and was arguing and yelling at him, he tuned both Nate and Ashlee out for the moment. All he saw was Kerry staning there before him with her hands caressing her stomach. He wanted to rush and hold Ashlee but his eyes would not move. Kerry was holding somethig precious in her and here Ashlee was yelling bad things and calling it names. Even it was his... would he be a good enough father? For a moment a surge rushed over hi mand he smiled happily at Kerry but that was crushed as Nate spoke..it's mine. It has to be

Chris knew just how much Nate loved Kerry and he could feel the intensity in his words as he spoke, as if saying it would make it come true. Chris had to disagree.. .something about the way he felt when he looked at Kerry said it was ... his own. But he didnt want to rile up Nate or piss him off more. He wanted it... he wanted the baby to be his just as much as Nate did. But to admit it? It would not only Kill Nate but Ashlee as well.And they were JUST getting right again. So he pulled all of the power within in him to mutter.. "It's not mine. I know it." he lied. He looked back at Kerry and wished with all his might that she could tell he was lying. If everyone else in this room believed what he said , maybe, just maybe she didnt and knew he was just showing. But then... he hoped she didnt. Nate needed this. THis was his life... his girl. Chris owed it to Nate and Ashlee to act like he didnt want it. that he didnt like this. And so he hoped, that his life would ever be right... but it seemed, it would never come to that.

"Ashlee wait!" with those two words his fate was sealed. He could have stood back and hugged Kerry, he could have told her how he felt right now in time but he couldnt bring himself to do it. He caused enough pain between her and Nate that showing any small affection would just make it worse. He followed Ashlee out into the night air and grabbed her arm. She was crying. He knew it, he felt her warm body push against his as he pulled her in a hug. "Im so sorry Ash. I'm sorry." Was all he could say becuase anything else would have pissed her off more. And he knew that this time... he really was wrong.

[KERRY ISABELLA SINNEL]

those secrets hidden in our childish lips
WOULD DIE FOR A KISS

It was a few moments. A few long stressful moments. She closed her eyes tightly. She couldn’t imagine what was going to happen. Lie. Of course, she had! She imagined Nate flipping the table over “God damn it, Kerry! You gotta be such a fucking whore! Take your kid and get somewhere out of my sight!” Nothing was scarier than that. She saw Chris shaking his head, “Ashlee, she’s lying. I love you. Nothing ever happened. She just wants someone to take care of her bastard.” Ashlee clasping her hands merrily together, “Oh Christian! Of course! She’s a cheerleader its suspected!” Kerry could see it all so vividly. She just felt sick about it. It was so scary.

Then, Nate started. Kerry looked up at Nate. She watched him so carefully. He was the only boy she had ever found herself in true love with. Sure, she had loved Chris, but it was nothing like what she felt for Nate. Kerry took the whole summer to realize that her feelings for Chris had been infatuation. It had been sunk into her head so many times by various people that had told her that it was fate that the cheerleader and the football star end up together. It was never said that she went with the grimy punk ass. She did fall for Chris. She fell for his sweet personality, his need for someone to treat him right, and the way his strong arms held her to his body.

Then, Nate started screaming, and Ashlee started yelling. ‘Ankle-biter’ she called Speckle. Kerry felt the need to reach out and shank a bitch. Yet, she knew that she was in no position. She just whispered softly ‘She doesn’t know you, baby, she will love you when she gets to know you.’ She didn’t know what else to say. She wanted to defend herself and Speckle against Ashlee, but there was nothing at all she could do that would not destroy her conscious.

Kerry looked up for a moment and caught eyes with Chris and he smiled for only a brief moment. That one moment was enough to lighten up her face. Just to see that he wasn’t all that upset. Joy filled her pale face. Was Christian really going to have her back? Her mind was rushing with thoughts of how it use to be in school. How they curled up in bed together to play Mario on N64, the time they walked around Central Park with coffee to feed the pigeons because Kerry was having a soft spot for birds, how soft his lips were against her bare flesh…

‘Its mine…its gotta be…’ Kerry’s head turned and mouth fell open. Never in her life had she expected Nate to claim a child, let alone, demand it be his when he had a choice. Kerry had seen him in a new light. She watched as Chris chased Ashlee from the place. Just as he was out the door, Kerry captured his lips with hers. She entangled her hands in his hair, pulling him into the passionate kiss. She finally broke their lips’ embrace and shifted her head to his forehead, nose pressed against to his. “I love you so much, Nate, and I’m sorry for this. God! I love you, Nathaniel James Way. “ Kerry gave him a quick peck on the lips again.

She stood up and realized people were looking. She shook her head, throwing her hands up in the air. “Excuse me! Go back to your business. I am paying just as much as you are to be here. Go back to your meals, and I won’t have to go Crazy-Preggers on you. Thank you!” Kerry felt proud of herself. She sat down next to Nate and laid her hand on his thigh, “Now, I have to go yell at Ashlee for talking shit on our baby.” She reached out and patted Nate’s cheek with a crooked smile.

She walked outside. The chill hit her like no other. She muttered curse words. She looked around for a moment before she spotted Chris and Ashlee. She walked up to them, rubbing her arms. She noticed people’s stares at her stomach. Before she could even walk up to the couple, she had a woman stop and tell her how pregnancy suited her. Kerry stopped in her tracks and stared at the back of the woman. Kerry looked better as a fatass? That woman better have kept walking, or she was going to feel what it was like to have the wrath of twenty extra pounds!

When the wind blew up on her, Kerry gasped loudly. The wind was freezing. Why the hell was she out here? Oh yeah! Ashlee. She walked up to them and put her hands on Ashlee’s shoulders. “I know I have made things so difficult for you, but I demand you take it out on me and not Speckle. Specks is innocent. The baby doesn’t know any better. It hurts to call it an ankle-biter. This is my fault. Its all me, and I am so sorry.” Kerry was using a lot of her self-control not to smack her for ever saying anything negative about her baby. She dropped her arms to the side. She bit her lip and looked to the ground. “I’m sorry again, but can we head back inside and try to talk about this ?”

She caught eyes with Chris. She remembered him picking her up and spinning her around after practices everyday before heading to the mall with Sascha, seeing who could run the furthest without running out of breath, his fingertips slipping up her skirt… Kerry raised her hand and put it on Chris’s. “I owe you an apology too, Christian Jay. I feel like I should have never included you in this, but I know that I have to,” she said, staring him in the eye. She squeezed his hand lightly. Kerry fought with herself to ever be able to tell him why she had to include him in this.

She lifted her hand and waved them inside. She walked back to the table and sat down with Nate, kissing him softly as she took back her place beside him.

TAGNate!!!
LYRICS"Weeping Willow" by The Hush Sound!!!
WORD COUNT1041!!!
NOTESYay for flashbacks!!!