Scarlett L'amour, application

Player Information
Name: Rebecca
Nickname: Becca, Becky…um..other names you can get from that..
E-mail: yellowishpaperish@hotmail.co.uk
IM details: ummm… email me ^^ or add me on msn, which is the same as above.
Roleplay Experience: Two years, on and off. Most recently on. Started with Harry Potter, and now I’ve evolved onto better things.

Character Information
Name: Scarlett L’Amour
Gender: female
Age: Almost 19
Birthday: March 4th. Was born in 1018
Place of birth:

Faction: Noble

Family:
Henri L’Amour - Father
Marié Julietté L’Amour - Mother - Deceased

Physical Appearance:


Scarlett was born to a noble family, each of them having the customary looks, dark mysterious eyes and seductively inky black hair. Even though she has neither of these traits, she still somewhat embodies what a noblewoman should be.
Snow white skin, which she has had all of her life, as noblewomen aren’t allowed coloured skin, like the so called commoners which work in the lower city. Her skin colouring compliments her fair hair beautifully, and Scarlett is somewhat seen as unique, as other nobles daughter’s quite often have blushing tinges to their cheeks, or have hair dark enough to make a raven envious.

Her slightly silvery blonde hair was a trait that she inherited from her Grandmother, a proud woman who was well desired in her time. Scarlett’s hair cascades in elegant waves over her shoulders, and falls slightly short of her waist. You can almost never tell that it has indeed grown this long, as the waved hair is almost always tied tightly in a chignon, a suitable style for a young woman.

Long, dark, elegantly curled eyelashes frame ever changing deep blue eyes, which differ from a translucent Azure, to a light Cerulean and finally to a robust Sapphire, whether it be her mood or just the light. It’s been said that women born with blue eyes are the most precious and the most sought after, as proved by her grandmother yet again, who she has inherited all of these traits. Which puzzle a fair amount of guests, as her mother did not receive any of these gifts.

Her naturally rouge stained lips are almost always formed in a false smile, although none can tell the sadness that lay behind it. High cheekbones complete her classically desired look, which although may be beautiful, is a mask. Just a façade in which a frightened little girl cowers behind.

Her clothes reflect the lifestyle that has been heaped upon her everyday since her birth, her soul almost suffocated by layer upon layer of silk, satin, lace and other materials used in elegant dresses that she is forced to wear. Light colours are especially heaped upon her, making her seem even more desired, or so her father tells her, to the noblemen who are searching for a wife.

Personality:
Scarlett has probably one of the most complex personality’s in her family, she has a very bad temper, but she hardly let it shows, as her patience is legendary within her close and distant family. But when her patience does leave, then she shouts, mostly in her own room, as it was not thought proper for young ladies to shout, yell or any other vocal traits related to those.

Even though, to the passing guest, she may seem mute, as it’s not permitted for women to talk, or give opinions on subjects that men deem too important for their simple minds. She’s very pleasant to the servants, especially the kitchen staff, as well as her own, as she generally spends the most time with them.

She has a very serious side, a side her father made sure she had from a young age, as it was once again thought proper. But her only side, that truly belongs to her and has no influence from anyone is that of her benevolence, even though her father frowns on her because of this.
Scarlett would treat peasants no different, after all they were all people, just like herself and her father.

She has a genuine love for fresh flowers, which her father accepts as a girlish traits and allows her to arrange them in any way she wishes. This was perhaps one of the very few areas of her life that she controlled, her courage would show in her arrangements, her emotions echoing into the contrasting colours of the petals.

All through her life, she’s followed the rules. The rules set down by her father, as well as the rules of noblewomen, she knows nothing else. But inside her, deep inside her soul, she knows that this is not the life she wants to lead. She wants to find an occupation, for one, which is highly undesirable, especially of a woman from noble birth.
She wants to live a life that is hers, and not her fathers, or the life her mother wanted her to lead before her untimely death when Scarlett was ten years old.


History:
Scarlett L’Amour was born to Henri and Marié on a beautiful spring day almost Nineteen years ago.

Her parents had an arranged marriage, as was the fashion between noble families. They had only met on a few occasions before their families jumped at the chance to combine their kin with the other. There was no need to consider the feelings of the two adults, who were entering their early twenties at the time, and even though they had expressed interest in other people, they were denied the feelings and emotions that their hearts ached with.
On September 15th of that year they both turned twenty two, the were wed, in a extravagant, incredibly frilly marriage. Her dress, having at least ten layers could have fed a hundred families in the lower district for a month, which was how she felt, but did not voice. As once again, the mention of women’s right were virtually non existent.

The day their daughter was born, was one full of rejoice, as they had originally feared over Henri’s apparent impotence, as they were indeed married for five years before Henri even felt the need to consummate the marriage, which was eventually helped along by the kind words of the brides brother, the now deceased Marqués.
A very highly thought of Noble who had made his fortune almost double by becoming a savvy merchant. Henri and Marié, had what could be described as the typical marriage between two noble families, slightly dull, but with an heir produced, even though it was a girl, their main part in life had been fulfilled.

The only other part Marié would play in the story of the noble family, would tell of her hand full of miscarriages, brought upon by her husband’s temper, to which he apologised rapidly and by the way she was treated by the wives of other nobles.

Scarlett on the other hand, played a vital role in the family, as she would later inherit the families fortune, supposing that she of course married into a family of noble stature. As a young girl, she pouted mercilessly over how many layers, frills and bows her dresses had, as her heart virtually yearned to play outside with the boys of the court.
The dress restriction as well as her families disagreement would echo throughout her life. She would not take risks, nor would she ask for anything. She wouldn’t really need to ask for anything, as everything and anything was heaped upon her, in every colour, style, with every bow and frill possible.

Growing up, she was considered to be the perfect child, did as she was told, looked as angelic as possible for a girl of her age. The perfect young woman. Oh, how she had come to despise that very word. Perfect. It almost held no power. No wonder.
No nothing. It was simply meaningless. For it had been used too often, to describe almost everything about her. The way she walked, the way she spoke, only when spoken to of course, the way she played piano, the way she sang. Perfect no longer held any resonance in her life.

At the age of five, she had been brought to the town, a firm hand on her shoulder, her hands holding up her dress from getting ruined as it trailed on the floor. Peasants would be shoved aside with great strength as her family walked by, her blue eyes meeting those of who were assaulted, her glance apologising for their actions.
Then, on this one incident, a boy, who could not have been more than a few years older than her, had been pushed aside, his baskets of trinkets spread across the ground, his eyes glistening in a mix of anger and sadness. Seeing this she rushed over, ignoring her family’s calls, and began to help him pick up his charms, her pale fingers scraping across the dirty floor, the bottom of her dress soaked with the water of the street. Her eyes meeting his, his glance showing appreciation and thankfulness, hers showing her true feelings towards the way her family had treated him.
When her father yanked her up by her arm, gave the boy a slight scowl and stalked off, her eyes were once again covered by her now permanent mask. Her façade.
From that day on, she was forbidden from stooping lower than their status, even to help someone pick something up off of the street. Forbidden. Such a word, used far too often in her household in her opinion.

As the years rolled by, Scarlett grew up, her body maturing as was expected. Her skin becoming paler with each passing year, her blonde hair growing longer, her eyes showing no emotion still. Suitors came and went, none of them living up to her father’s idea of the perfect gentleman for his daughter, who was to inherit all of the families fortunes.
She showed no interest in any of the men that walked in front of her, their posture slightly arrogant, their keen eyes wanting to meet hers in a lustful gaze.

Her mind became more vast with every book she read, their library not having been used in the previous generations. Her opinions widened, her voice still not sounding them, her hand writing them in her journal in her scratchy cursive writing. All of her emotions being poured into this small journal, her mask fading away slightly every time she wrote down a feeling, or a thought she hadn’t said. Scarlett’s dreams and hopes were written on the pages, each crossed out with sharp lines.
Those dreams hoping of a loving husband and a better life. Even death was one of the options written down, that too had been crossed out, but not as greatly as the others.

Miscellaneous:

Scarlett prays every night for a new life, or for someone who can take her away from her current place and show her what it’s like to live. She sometimes, in desperation, so overcome with emotion, tears cascading like mini waterfalls down her pale cheeks, she prays for death. Her voice quivering as her hands are thrust together, her prayers hoping to make their way towards the heavens.

RP Sample:

Scarlett laid on her satin sheets, the sounds of the night sending her into a lull, her cerulean eyes feeling heavy. The symphony played in the darkness held such a sway over her, making her eyelids heavy with sleep.

Her breath was silent against the night, her fingers grasping the sheets tightly, her toes wriggling with a slight cold air. The balcony doors opening soundlessly, heavy footsteps disturing the orcastra of sounds. Her eyes still fluttering with tiredness.
Her red lips parting in a gentle yawn.

[OOC: my muse has gone!! I hope that's okay, they'll most definately be longer than that, i promise]

Hi there, and welcome to the forums. Thank you for your application.

First off all, I ended the use of font size in your post. I'm not sure why you changed it but I would advice you not to do the same in any future posts you might make here. Tiny font like that makes me go all x_x and it hurts the eyes *nods*

Secondly, your application was a very pleasant read for me! I like your style but it leaves me to wonder about a few things. You mention very few things about the setting, which is understandable considering the sheltered upbringing she's had. But it leaves me to wonder in what way you seek to give Scarlett a place in the City. Have you thought about this yourself? I would like hear your thoughts on it. If you're having a hard time figuring something out, I'll gladly give you a hand. Most of the noble families in the City are your run-of-the-mill families but there are a few interesting facts that might help you on your way!

Let's proceed:

Why is this empty? Everyone has to be born somewhere!

Being Noble is not a faction, it is a birth. You should be listing an occupation (if she has any) and not a faction. That only applies to those of us that choose to be Keepers, Hammerites or Pagans.

For the Physical Appearance; if its all the same to you I'd rather that you removed the photo. I am not a big fan of using them in applications, especially not since you've typed up an adequate description. The photo just throws me off.

I understand what you're trying to say here but your sentence makes little sense to me. Suggest you reread and rephrase.

is a trait

Oooooh, a chignon XD I love those!

*cough*

Moving on..

from who she has inherited? I'm not sure, but it doesn't make much sense to me this way.

I suggest you split this up into two sentences. It looks a liiiittle bit messy this way.

Bride’s

It took me a few re-reads to realize that these sentences belong together. I would suggest a rephrase

Town? What town. There is only the City ;P Do you mean a specific district? Or just out of the house? Clarify please!

I can sense that the event on this day was very important in decided the course Scarlett's life would take from there on, but it does not really tell me the impact it had on her or what her family's decision did to her. Important events are good, I love them muuuuuchly, but I would really like to see a bit more.. vibrancy in this bit. Just so that everyone can understand how important it really is. Right now, you tell it more like a story than a history.

Ooooh, and the history itself ends rather abruptly. Are you sure there is nothing more you can tell us about what she's doing? In what way is she involved in the City life?

Hehehe, I really love the bit you typed here but it doesn't really go under miscellaneous. It's reserved for special traits, skills, fears or strengths the character might have ^.^

What you have seems great to me and I do believe that the general post you make is longer. I do I do I do I do ;P But I'm going to be a nag here and ask you kindly to flesh out the RP sample so that we can get a proper idea of what your ARRPEE powers are like!


I noticed some grammar and spelling errors, but nothing insane. Leaving them mostly because Rahkoi will be able to filter them out. I am the defective spellchecker; he isn't.

There!

I reeeeeeeaally hope the comments didn't scare you off or anything. I know it seems like much but I really like your application and I'm just nitpicking the technically aspects. In general what you've written is good, feels right and I'm sure Scarlett will fit right in.

Hey there and welcome to the forums!

I like the application. It gives me a good impression of the character which is what matters of course.

Since Lessa adressed few major points and said I'd do the language-nitpickery, I'll concentrate on that. Don't be frightened or anything, just because I go bit more indepth here doesn't mean I'll go around picking posts apart in future as well

Here we go:

Who work in the lower city instead of which preferably.

It'd sound better either "her skin's colouring compliments" or "her skin-colour compliments"

"Other nobles' daughters. Ie. changing the spot of the '

Proven. Has inherited all of these traits from.

Also, I'd replace the "Which" here with "This". Which isn't a good way to begin a wholly new sentence and merging with the previous sentence could get bit messy. Also add an 's' behind the puzzle.

Every day separate

Personalities. I'd also put a dot behind that and begin a wholly new sentence from "She has a very bad temper, but..."

Hm, would say patience runs out or something rather than leaves. Also, there's no need for "then" on the "Then she shouts" since there's a when in the sentence before ("But when her patience does leave, she shouts,..."

Something sounds bit odd in this, but I can't really point it out Just ignore this if you don't spot it either

Of the year instead of that year.

They were wed. An extravagant instead of a.

Her? Well, Marié of course, but there's no name "her" could reasonably refer to. Also, as a non-language related thing, I thought Scarlett's benevolence was a part of her personality and hers alone as was pointed out earlier. Why is her mother thinking about feeding the poor if she doesn't share her daughter's benevolent side? Or is she meant to feel the same? Just wanting to make sure you aren't mixing up personalities by accident here

Handful rather? Brought upon her by her husband's temper, for which he apologised rapidly, I'd say.

Family's

Family's

Family's

-----

That's that. I don't claim to be the ultimate authority on this, so if you disagree with something, do bring it up and we'll discuss

I quite like it how I can almost notice you getting on the roll nicely when depicting that single event in her history. It's almost typo- and error-less.

Either way, have a look at above and see to Lessa's suggestions. After that, I have no qualms about approving

Cheers,
Rahkoi

I'm soooooo sorry, I wrote this when I was half asleep.
I shall rectify it at once!!
Well, not really at once, but tomorrow as it's so late here.

I apologise for my spelling errors!!
Alas, they have always been my downfall!!

I shall re-read, and redo tomorrow morning.
Thank you for all the comments, it's very kind of you and it all adds up to making myself a better writer.

Thankies
xx

p.s. Sorry about the small font thing, It's a habit I've gained from other sites. I shan't do it again.

Hehehe, no worries at all XD

And don't worry about your spelling errors. I can't spell worth shit and I'm admin for crying out loud o.O Trust me, they will not be what makes or breaks your application XD

Looking forward to see your changes!

Since almost a month has past since the last comment on this application, I'm moving it to In-active applications for now. Drop us a message if you're continuing with it.

-Scala