Declaration of Independence DBQ

Our assignment was to write about the declaration of independence in an essay. I need criticism please.

---

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” That is probably the most famous quote from the Declaration of Independence. What did Thomas Jefferson mean when he wrote this? What is a self-evident truth? What are unalienable rights? Why did we need independence from our mother country? England was controlling us. They passed multiple acts to tax us. These acts consisted of the Navigation Acts, which made trade illegal unless it went to England first, the Proclamation Line of 1763, which said no colonist could settle west of the Appalachians, the Quarterring Acts, which made it so all British Redcoats were housed and fed by the colonists, the Sugar Acts, which put an indirect tax on sugary products, the Stamp Act, which put a tax of every own document, the Declaratory Act, which basically said that England owned the colonies and could do whatever they wanted with them, the Townshend Acts, which suspended New York’s colonial assembly for rebellious actions and put a tax on everyday items, the tea act, which said no one could buy tea from any other country besides England, and the Intolerable Acts, which punished Massachusetts in very harsh ways for the Boston Tea Party. To put an end to the Intolerable Acts, the First Continental Congress was formed. They were going to boycott, start militias, and meet back in May for a Second Continental Congress. During this Second Continental Congress, Massachusetts’s John Adams suggested independence from England. The only person who agreed with Adams was Pennsylvania’s Ben Franklin. Others in Pennsylvania didn’t agree with Franklin but were later convinced otherwise. Adams and Franklin were able to convince four other colonies that independence was their only option. But even then, there were 6 other colonies who didn’t want independence from England. Virginia’s Thomas Jefferson was then left in charge of writing the declaration to explain why we need Independence.

In the declaration, Jefferson spoke of unalienable rights and self evident truths. An unalienable right is a right that was given to a person by god and cannot be taken away from that person. A self evident truth is the truth that you don’t need any proof to explain; it’s obvious that it’s true. The unalienable rights Jefferson spoke of were the right to have life, the right to have liberty, and the right to pursue happiness. The self evident truth he explained was the right that all men are created equal. However, he did not say that they remained equal. In many cases people become poor, they become rich, or they become powerful. If you are created equal, then why shouldn’t everyone remain equal? Why is their slavery? Why do men have more power than women in some places? Why are poor people frowned upon?

According to Jefferson, the main job of government is to secure someone’s safety and happiness. If the government isn’t doing their job, there are few limitations to getting rid of the government. War is a more violent way to do so. I believe it is necessary to go into war because it makes a statement and usually a tyrant is not going to do anything about it if you don’t.

Even today, the Declaration of Independence is being used. This document inspired future documents and acts of those outside the United States and inside such as the Emancipation Proclamation, the Civil War, the Civil Rights Movement, and Women’s Rights. The United States has been struggling to carry out this document but they have used it well. Even today, there’s racism, sexism, and other kinds of prejudice ways which goes again the self evident truth, all men are created equal, and it makes it harder for unalienable rights to be given such as the pursuit of happiness and having liberty.

In furthermore, Thomas Jefferson was speaking of Britain taking away our unalienable rights, rights that were given to us by god and can’t be taken away, and the self-evident truth, a truth that u don’t need any proof to prove, which is that all men are created equal. The British government was not trying to secure that but instead trying to take it away. This document also inspired other documents and acts inside and outside America. Adams and Franklin wouldn’t of have suggested independence, then Jefferson would have never written the declaration, and if Jefferson would have never written the declaration, we would not be where we are today.

The sentence about the separate Acts seems kind of over extended. Maybe put a colon or whatever its called --> : or a semi-colon between the different Acts. If it was me, I would capitalize each 'Declaration' and that part where you put 'In futhermore' just sounds a little strange. 'In conclusion' sounds a little better, at least for me. And in your sentence 'Why is their slavery?', it should be 'there' not 'their'.

I'll probably just make them separate sentences.

If it says "the delcaration" that's usually gramatically inderect, unless I give it a title like "The Declaration of Independence."

okay

O.O didn't see that, thanks

--

Can someone also check for rambling too, that's what my teacher always looks for, that and that it's all historically correct.

Welcome, and I think I just noticed some more little stuff.

In your last paragraph you did 'u' instead of 'you' and when you mentioned the Tea Act I think it should be capitalized like your other Acts. And in your last paragraph, are you supposed to mention everything you've talked about in the essay, in it? But for historical correctness, it's fine. I learned about all of that about, uhhh, 1-2 in a half months ago, so I remember some stuff. x3