Quotes

[Your Master]

[Seeing Angel in a flash back]
Angelus: Oh no, I remember this. I remember this place. I gotta get out of here.
Faith: Why, you freakin' out?
Angelus: It's coming, again.
Faith: What's coming?
Angelus: I can't do it. I won't.
[Angel runs in front of a speeding car]
Faith: Angel get out of the road.
Angelus: Arrrgh. No.
Faith: [laughing] Dude, you just rescued a puppy.
Angelus: I'm in hell. This is hell and I'm in it.
Faith: Reliving Angel's good deeds, you are in hell. Wicked.

Angel: [after biting the new link to the Senior Partners] Wow! You really are full of it.

Kate Lockley: I feel like such an idiot.
Angel: Lotta that going around.

Cordelia: You would dare to defy me?
Angelus: Defy who? A big, scary voice? Whoa. Hey, I got one of those, too, you wanna hear it?
[Talks into his hands]
Angelus: You can kiss my vampire ass. That do anything for you?

Cordelia: Darla. It's all about Darla. One thing you can say about Angel, at least he's consistent it's always some little blonde driving him over the edge.

Darla: But we.
Angel: Yes.
Darla: And you.
Angel: I know.
Darla: Then I.
Angel: Three times.
Darla: You're not evil?

Cordelia: Soup and salad, too? What is going on here?
Angel: I forgot what you liked.
Cordelia: Why didn't you ask me?
Angel: Well, you said, why is everyone asking you if they can get you anything, and I didn't wanna do that.
Cordelia: So you did this instead.
Angel: Yup.
Cordelia: I love you.

Angel: I don't wanna research, all right? I wanna jump through the big swirly hole thingy and save Cordelia.

Angel: I'm more afraid of her dying than she is? What is that?
Voices: Love.

Angel: Oh, yeah. I saw their production of Giselle in 1890. Cried like a baby. And I was evil!

Jasmine: And look what free will has gotten you.
Angel: Hey, I didn't say we were smart. I said it's our right. It's what makes us human.
Jasmine: But you're not human.
Angel: Working on it.

Fred: Kind of cool, physiologically. They reproduce by vomiting up crystals that attract and mutate the microbes around them to form eggs.
Wesley: Are you trying to turn me on?

Spike: Back in the lab, she was standing right there in front of me, but there was no scent. Nothing. It's like she wasn't even there.
Angel: I know.
Spike: Look, I want Fred back as much as any of us but seeing her there, like that, maybe she really is.
Angel: No. I lost Cordelia because some thing violated her. It crawled inside, used her up. No way in hell am I letting that happen again.

Angel: What the hell did you do?
Wes: What I had to.
Angel: I don't remember seeing stab Gunn on the agenda this morning.
Wes: I avoided the major organs. He'll probably live.
Angel: Is that supposed to make it all right?
Wes: Nothing is all right! Nothing will ever be all right.

Wesley: She doesn't understand our world. She needs someone to guide her. She needs.
Angel: When was the last time you slept? You're not her savior. I need you here, working, not off drinking yourself into a coma, chasing ghosts. Fred's dead, Wes. You're still alive. Start acting like it.

Angel: What?
Cordelia: What?
Angel: What do you want to say?
Cordelia: Ah, me? Nothing. What makes you think I wanna...
Angel: 'cause I know you?
Cordelia: Well, it's really - none of my business.
Angel: And that always stops you.
Cordelia: Actually, it is my business, *our* business, because we're trying to do a job here, and what affects you affects me, and - anyway, I don't like to see you suffer more than you have to. I don't think you should blame yourself, or feel guilty for her death.
Angel: I don't.
Cordelia: Good. Glad to hear it.
Angel: I didn't even know who she was when I killed her.
Cordelia: Not her. Angel...
Angel: Oh... you - you want to talk about...
Cordelia: She was the love of your life and she died. And... you weren't there when it happened. You couldn't help her fight. You couldn't save her. You couldn't die with her. This is gonna be one of those talks where I do all the talking, isn't it? Well, I'm not gonna pry. It's not my style. Okay, it's totally my style, but I can tell that I'm not getting anywhere right now. But you have to tell me one thing. You owe me this much. What the hell happened with Holtz?

Spike: Look, I don't know if you know this, but... I killed my mum. Actually, I'd already killed her, then she came on to me...

Angel: This isn't the answer, Darla.
Darla: You don't even know the question.

Wesley: There's obviously not going to be any big swirly hole jumping without a big swirly hole.

Fred: We stopped "a nefarious plan for global domination" not "world peace," right?
Cordelia: [Angel is leering at Cordelia] Ok, it's getting creepy now.
Angel: I was just thinking about things. About people, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. You know, we're very different. VERY different, obviously. Human, vampire. Woman, man... pire.
Cordelia: Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?
Angel: [nervous laughter] You're funny! And I, well I get off a good one every once in awhile, but you!

Angel: So, how was your summer? Mine was fun. Saw some fish, went mad with hunger, hallucinated a whole bunch.
Connor: You deserved worse.
Angel: Cause I killed Holtz. Except I didn't. I tried telling you that while you were busy off shore dumping me, but I didn't know the whole score. Holtz killed himself. Actually, he had your buddy Justine do it with an ice pick, just to make you hate me.
Connor: Even if... you still deserved it.
Angel: What I deserve is open to debate. But understand, there's a difference between wishing vengeance on someone, and taking it. So now the question becomes, what do you deserve?
[Connor gets up from the chair in a rush and tries to run out the door, but Angel slams him across the room, into the wall, where Connor falls to the ground]
Angel: Daddy's not finished talking.

Spike: [looking down at the scene unfolding in the alley]
[high voice]
Spike: How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing?
Spike: [low voice] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair! Never the hair!
Spike: [high voice] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.
Spike: [low voice] No, helping those in need is my job, and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
Spike: [high voice] I understand, I have a nephew who's gay.
Spike: [low voice] Say no more. Evil's still afoot and I'm almost out of that Nancy-bot hair-gel that I like so much. Quickly to the Angelmobile, away!
((Luv that one! XD))

Angel: What you did to me was unbelievable, Connor. but then, I once got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend for 100 years so I guess a few months under the ocean gave me perspective. Kind of an M. C. Esher perspective. But I did get time to think: about us, about the world. Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh, it's cruel, and that's why there's us. Champions. Doesn't matter where we come from or what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as if the world is as it should be, to show it what it can be. You're not a part of that yet. I hope you will be.
[Angel walks right up to Connor and stares at him]
Angel: I love you, Connor. Now get out of my house.
[Connor leaves]

Cordelia: I am somebody. I matter. People will be attracted to my positive energy and help me achieve my goals. I'm right where I'm supposed to be and not dying for something to eat.

Angel: [to Spike] Don't you have to go save the world from people like... you.

Angel: The Gateway for Lost Souls... is under the post office?
Allen Francis Doyle: Eh, it makes sense, if you think about it.

Cordelia: Are you all right, Wesley?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No. These pants tend to chafe one's - legs.

Allen Francis Doyle: I'm finally free to go and make my mark on the world.
Cordelia: We had a cat that used to do that.

Cordelia: I guess the single life is particularly tough on you. A couple hundred years ago, the only thing you had to worry about was a hangover. Today, because of your curse thingy, you can't sleep with anyone or else you might feel a moment of true happiness and lose your soul, become evil - again - and kill everyone.
Angel: Thanks, Cordelia. I always appreciate your perspective.
Cordelia: Hey, the last thing I want is to show up at the office and find that I'm working for a homicidal monster.

Cordelia: So, um, are you still...
[baring her teeth and making claws]
Cordelia: "GRRR"?
Angel: Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that.

Angel: There are three things I don't do: tan, date and sing in public.

Cordelia: I think the trick is laying off the ale before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby-man.

Cordelia: See girl in distress. See Angel save girl from druggy-stalker-boyfriend.

Spike: To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase, "duh".

[Wesley and Cordelia impersonate Angel and Buffy]
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Kiss me.
Cordelia: Bite me.
[Wesley grabs Cordelia and pretends to bite her neck, growling]
Angel: You can both bite me.

Angel: I don't know about you, but I had a nice day. You know, except for the bulk of it, where I was nearly tortured to death.
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah, well, you stood up.
Angel: Oh, God. I was this close to telling him everything. I mean, one more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom, EVERYTHING.
[beat]
Angel: How is your mom?

Cordelia: [answering phone] Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless.
[Later on... ]
Allen Francis Doyle: [answering phone] Angel Investigations. We hope you're helpless.

Kate Lockley: Our suspect will be a white male. To the observer he will not seem a monster. His victims put up little or no struggle, so it's likely that he is charming, attractive, but at his core he is a loner. Possibly a dual personality, who once the crime has been committed, retains no memory of the act. He will not view his victims as subhuman, rather it's himself that he views as something other than human, more than human, a superior species. Stalking his prey, getting to know them. It's unlikely that he'll be married, though he may have recently come off a long-term relationship that ended badly. We look for a precipitating event in cases such as this, and a painful breakup is always at the top of the list. Prior to failing this relationship may have marked an inactive period in our suspects life. He would have regarded it as a lifeline, his salvation, but once ended, it resulted in his recidivism. What is not in question is his experience. He's been doing this for a very long time, and he will do it again.

Cordelia: I'm just glad we got to you before anything really bad happened. Well, I mean, besides the slavery and the super horrible beatings.

Polo: Screw edu-tainment!

Nina: The vampire thing's kind of sexy.

Angel: Well, then...
[grabs a huge sword]
Angel: Let's take out some puppets.

Kate Lockley: This guy could go to jail tomorrow and still kill her in her dreams every night. I've put a few of these creeps away and the hardest thing is to know that he's still winning. She's still afraid. He took her power away and no one can get it back but her.

Cordelia: I'm not a sniveling whiny little cry-Buffy. I'm the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one.

Cordelia: Back off Polygrip. You think you're bad? All mean and haunty? Picking on poor pathetic Cordy? Well, get ready to haul your wrinkly translucent ass out of this place because, lady, the bitch is back.

Kate Lockley: Thing about detectives is, they have resumes and business licences and last names. Pop stars and Popes, those are the one-name guys.
Angel: You got me. I'm the Pope.

Allen Francis Doyle: What about friendship and family and all the things that are priceless like they say in that credit card commercial?

Spivey: I heard it was suicide.
Kate Lockley: Supervisor Caffrey shot himself?
Spivey: It happens.
Kate Lockley: In the back of the head? Wrapped himself in plastic and he locked himself in the trunk of his car?
Spivey: He'd been depressed.

Cordelia: They didn't even have cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip when you were alive.
Angel: I want some. Can you get that?
Cordelia: It'll go straight to your thighs.

Cordelia: [re: Angel] Where's the crabby scowl, the morbid gloom?

Female Oracle: I like Time. There is so little and so much of it.

Cordelia: Would it kill him to put on some tights and a cape and garner us a little free publicity?
Allen Francis Doyle: I don't see Angel putting on tights... Oh, now I do and it's really disturbing.

Cordelia: What do you think I am, superficial?

Angel: All those tattoos, all those new tricks you've learned just don't matter. Doesn't matter what you try. Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. Because you know what? I'm Angel. I beat the bad guys.

Illyria: To never die and to conquer all - *that* is winning.

Illyria: A true ruler is as moral as a hurricane. Empty, but for the force of his gale.

Cordelia: Okay, this is getting us nowhere. Angel, torture her.
Angel: What?
Eve: What?
Cordelia: You heard me. Building's clearing out means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
Angel: I can't just... torture her.
[Cordelia scoffs]
Fred: He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level, then
[Harmony grabs Eve throws her on the desk]
Angel: Harmony!
Harmony: Is this okay? I mean. I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
Angel: Yeah. Okay.

Knox: Showtime
Spike: Any seats left?
Angel: If not, we can just stand in the back.
Knox: Guys, you should scan the headlines here. You can't win this.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Then we all die trying.
Illyria: Why?
Angel: You want the short version? Let's start with you walkin' around looking like the woman you murdered.
Illyria: You think your actions will restore her.
Angel: No.
Illyria: Yet you seek a confrontation you cannot win.
Angel: What you're trying to do... raise your army, reclaim your world... innocent people would die, like Fred. I can't let that happen.
Illyria: You are the protector of these creatures?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: You'd fight for their lives?
Angel: Yes.
Illyria: Even this one?
Knox: Is that an issue? Is my life in peril, boss? King?
Angel: You're about as low as it gets, Knox, but you're a part of humanity. That isn't always pretty, but it's a hell of a lot better than what came before. And if it comes down to a choice between you and him... then, yes, I would fight for his life just like any other human's... because that's what people do, that's what makes us...
[gunshot heard, Knox is hit and falls down dead]
Angel: [to Wesley] Were you even listening?

Angel: So, you're a freak. Boo-hoo. Get over it.
Gwen: What?
Angel: I think you figured out I'm not the poster-boy for normal. Sometimes, you just gotta let go.
[hits Elliott]
Gwen: Hey. I wanted to do that.
Angel: You were going to fry him.
Gwen: Was not.
Angel: Don't fib.
Gwen: Lie. Did you at least break his nose?

Lorne the Host: What's today... Thursday. The world's gonna end tomorrow.

Allen Francis Doyle: Is that it? Am I done?
((*cries* Doyle was the best!))

Marcus: What do you want, Angel?
Angel: House in the country. A good pair of running shoes you can also wear out to dinner.

Host's Elder: Each morning before I feed, I go into the hills where the ground is thorny, beat my breast and curse the day you were ever born.
Lorne the Host: My mother.
Host's Elder: Your father was right: we ate the wrong son.

[to Wesley about Angel]
Cordelia: You can always tell when he's happy, his scowl is a little less scowly

Darla: No, I haven't been nourishing it. I haven't given this baby a thing. I'm dead. It's been nourishing me. These feelings that I'm having, they're not mine. They're coming from it.
Angel: You don't know that.
Darla: Of course I do. We both do. Angel, I don't have a soul. It does. And right now, that soul is inside of me but soon, it won't be. And then I won't be able to love it. I won't even be able to remember that I loved it. And I want to remember.

Angel: Start talking.
Lorne the Host: About my dimension?... Sure, okay, lets see, er, I was there, I came here, I like it here, I don't wanna go there.

Lorne the Host: Remember when I said I loved this dimension and I said I was never, never, never gonna leave. Exactly which never did you not understand?

[In another dimension, Angel is unaffected by daylight]
Angel: I'll start gathering some branches to cover up the car. Oh hey, look. There's some over in that patch of sun... I'll get 'em.
[rushes off]

Angel: Darla.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Darla?
Cordelia: Darla?
Fred: Who's Darla?
Gunn: Angel's old flame, from way back.
Fred: Not the one who died?
Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one who died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Fred: Do y'all have a chart or somethin?
Gunn: In the files, I'll get it for you later.

Angel: Can I say it? I'm gonna say it.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Say what?
Angel: There's no place like... Willow?
Cordelia: What's...?
Angel: It's Buffy.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: What do you see?
Cordelia: Moo.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Moo? Is it a cow demon?
Cordelia: Move. The cous-cous is coming up.
[throws up]
Angel: They'll take that off the bill, right?

Cordelia: I'm just saying- You can run away, avoid talking about this, but you know as well as I do that stuff we do in the past usually comes back to bite us in our respective 'assi' and what you did...
Angel: Okay. So maybe I wasn't thinking too clearly. I mean, I was drunk for a while. Drunk on my own son's blood, slipped into my food by the good folks at Wolfram and Hart. And my head was a little clouded with rage over a trusted friend stealing my child from me... Damnit Cordelia. You got me talking about this.
Cordelia: Probably just needed to vent.

Angel: What? No hug?

[Rips the roof of Lilah's convertible]
Angel: That's cool. The top just comes right off.

Lilah: You know Angel, coming from you, idle threats are just so... idle.
[Sticks his hand through the car roof]
Angel: You remember when I ripped your car in half?
Lilah: Yeah, yeah. Hulk smash.

Fred: You know what they say about payback? Well, I'm the bitch.

[as the 'dead' demon starts to move again]
Angel: Oh come on, I'm holding your head.

Spike: Oh, oh. Me, me. I'm your people person.

Angel: And Eve, you'll stay here with me and we'll have more sex.
Eve: I'm on it.

[commenting on Cordelia's acting]
Angelus: I mean, I've been to hell, but that was so much worse.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I took the liberty of providing you with a new work space.
Angel: Great.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: And I'd love a cup of coffee.
Angel: That's, that's very funny.
Cordelia: Two sugars in mine.
Charles Gunn: Mocha cappuccino here.
Angel: Man, atonement's a bitch.

Angel: You think?
Cordelia: I'm Cordelia. I don't think. I know. Okay?

Spike: It's not murder if you say yes.

Angel: It's a zombie.
Connor: What's a zombie?
Angel: It's an undead thing.
Connor: Like you?
Angel: No. Zombies are slow moving, dimwitted things that crave human flesh.
Connor: Like you.
Angel: No. It's different, trust me.

Charles Gunn: What the hell was that?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Zombies.
Charles Gunn: Well thanks for the newsflash, Captain Obvious.

Cordelia: Why did the small, yucky man say that?

Cordelia: Oh, no.
Angel: It's a dead end.
Cordelia: Who booby trapped a dead end? That's just not right.

Paige Anderson: [eating brownie] What's your secret, Angel?
Angel: I use chocolate... that's why they're brown. Which, gives them their name. Brownies.

Angelus: But the thing is, as far as plans go, I like to make my own. So thanks for stopping by my head.

Angelus: Hello? Hey, I've got places to go and friends to kill. Well, not actually my friends, but you get the idea.

Charles Gunn: If he pops a fang in here, thwack him where it hurts.

[about Connor]
Lorne the Host: Odd bird, and gettin' birdier.

Angelus: Half of this crap is written in some archaic, proto demon cuneiform. And, I don't want to be rude, but the other half I think they just doodled.

Angelus: Oh. Don't tell me. The rousing stiff upper lip speech. Rah-rah. Good over evil. Do what must be done. Hang in there, Kitten, it's almost Friday. Is that what the scraggly little ponce armed you with to fight the big bad bogeyman?
Faith: Yeah. And this.
[Throws a knife and stabs him]

Cordelia: Willow, Hi.
Willow: Hey, how've you been?
Cordelia: Higher power. You?
Willow: Ultimate evil. But I got better.

Cordelia: Great news sports fans. There's been another killing... OK, maybe not great for the victim...

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I've seen a darkness in myself. I'm not sure you'd even begin to understand.
Willow: I flayed a guy alive and tried to destroy the world.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Oh... so...
Willow: Darkness. Been there.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Yeah. Well I never flayed... I had a woman chained in a closet.
Willow: Well hey.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: No, it doesn't compare.
Willow: No, dark. That's dark. You've been to a place.

[upon meeting Connor]
Willow: You must be Angel's handsome yet androgynous son.

[On seeing Wesley]
Willow: Oh, and it's the Marlboro man. Or at least his extra-stubbly, mentally unstable, insomniatic first cousin of... oh, for the love of Hecate, somebody stop me.

Angel: I mean, stranger things have happened.
Fred: Like Cordelia giving birth to a beautiful ebony goddess?
Angel: Not the example I was looking for, but yeah.

Lindsey McDonald: Boo-hoo! Let me wipe away the tears with my plastic hand!

Allen Francis Doyle: The good fight yeah? You never know until you've been tested. I get that now.
((*cries again*))

Allen Francis Doyle: The good fight yeah? You never know until you've been tested. I get that now.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Y'know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter, I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rodentius demon. Of course, the poodle's owners weren't very happy.

Cordelia: God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.
Charles Gunn: Ooh, pretty wicked looking toy.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.
Cordelia: Or it makes toast. With her you never know.

Angel: [to Buffy] That's great. Its nice... you moved on. I cant. You found someone new. I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again, it cuts me up inside, and the person I share that with is me. You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and expect me to do things your way. Go home.

Connor: I'll kill you.
Angel: It'll pass.
Lorne the Host: Yeah, 'cos Lord knows he's never tried that before.

Angelus: [to Connor] And now my boy's in love, all hearts and flowers. But, doesn't it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned was the closest thing you've ever had to a mother. Doin' your mom and trying to kill your dad. Hmm, there should be a play.

Cordelia: I miss that smell
Wes: Camembert, I believe.
Cordelia: No, MONEY!. I miss the smell of money.
Angel: She's not just saying that, I hide some in the office some times just to watch her, it's uncanny.

Angel: [as Liam] It's the devil. It's the devil!
Cordelia: My hair?

Lorne the Host: [after the show has returned from commercial break] Well, those were some exciting products, am I right? Let's all think about buying some of those.

Faith: Because I'm dying, dumbass... Way I figure, I got one last job. Babysit the psycho until they shove a soul up your...
Angelus: Not gonna happen.
Faith: Then I'm... whatever. Dust in the wind. Candle in the wind. There'll be a general wind theme.

Vyasa: You're funny, vampire. I bet you'll be a lot funnier when I punch your face in.
Angel: What, like funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?

Charles Gunn: You want to give us your evil law firm? We ain't lawyers.
Fred: Or evil. Currently.

Allen Francis Doyle: You know, there's a lot of people in this city that need helping.
Angel: So I noticed.
Allen Francis Doyle: You game?
Angel: I'm game.

Barney: You're him, right? You're the guy. The vampire with a soul.
Angel: I'm Angel.
Barney: You gotta help me. That's what you do, right? Help the helpless? Protect the, what do you call it? The helpless.

Angel: For a taciturn shadowy guy, I've got a big mouth.

Gunn: Whoo, Whoo! My God! They told me it was true, but I didn't believe 'em. Damn, here it is. Evil white folks really do have a Mecca. Now, now, now girls, don't get all riled up.
[screams]
Gunn: Did you just step on my foot? Was that my foot you just stepped on? Are you assaulting me up in this haven of justice? Somebody get me a lawyer, because my civil rights have seriously been violated. Oh, I get it, y'all can cater to the demon... cater to the dead man... but what about the black man?

Penn: We were to meet in Italy, remember?
Angel: I remember.
Penn: Well, I waited. Hell, I waited until the 19th century. What happened?
Angel: Got held up in Romania.
Penn: Romania? What's in Romania?
Angel: Gypsies.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'm still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?"
Fred: What, because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its LA branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like, 3 minutes?
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: You're run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless
Fred: Oh, that's so sweet.
[beat]
Fred: And a tad condescending.

Angel: Harmony.
Harmony: Hey. Boss.
Angel: You're my secretary?
Harmony: [sighs] Hello. Assistant.
Angel: Explain why I shouldn't kill you?
Harmony: Secretary's fine.
Angel: No, it's not fine. Where is it fine? You've been working here?
Harmony: Yeah-huh.
Angel: Why?
Harmony: Well, duh. I'm a single undead gal trying to make it in the big city - I have to start somewhere and they're evil here. They don't judge. They've got the necrotempered glass -
[does a little dance]
Harmony: no burning up - a great medical plan, and who needs dental more than us?

Allen Francis Doyle: [trying to do a spell] Oh, man, Latin. One of those dead languages you always mean to learn.

Cordelia: Maybe he has an accomplice, or a hidden camera. Not everything has to be creepy and supernatural, you know.
Angel: Not everything, but Doyle had a vision.
Cordelia: Which last time led to a sex-changing-body-switching-tear-your-innards-out-demon, right. I guess they don't call you for their every day cases.

Melissa: Oh, no. I like it. As long as you're not bored.
Allen Francis Doyle: No, no, I'm good. I have a word jumble right here. That should keep me occupied, sadly, for most of the day.

[after one of Doyle's visions]
Allen Francis Doyle: There is a young guy.
Angel: Where?
Allen Francis Doyle: Vampires have a nest downtown. Poor kid's gonna be the entree.
Angel: Let's go. Come on.
Allen Francis Doyle: Everybody's got dinner plans but us.

Lorne the Host: What's to understand? You think you're the first guy who ever rolled over, saw what was laying next to him, and went, "gueeeyah."

Harmony: Oh, my God. They shot Lorney-Tunes.

Angel: Eve. So I guess we should, I don't know, talk?
Eve: About what?
Angel: About what happened back there with us.
Eve: Angel, it's not like this is the first time I've had sex under a mystical influence. I went to U.C. Santa Cruz.

Wesley: We need you.
Faith: Well, er... hate to wet the paper for you Wes, but I'm kinda unavailable right now... maybe you wanna check back in a few decades when my parole comes up.
Wesley: You need to know...
Faith: It's Armageddon again, I dig. Last thing you need is me in the mix. Besides, Angel comes shinin' through in the end like he always does.
Wesley: Angel's gone, Faith. Angelus is back.
Faith: Step away from the glass.

Lorne the Host: Back in Pylea they used to call me 'sweet potato.'
Connor: Really?
Lorne the Host: Yeah, well, the exact translation was 'fragrant tuber' but...

[Fred and Gunn are running down a dark alley, they round a fence corner and pile into Gunn's truck]
Gunn: Are you okay?
Fred: No. You?
Gunn: No.
Fred: It's nice we still do these things together.

[after finding a room full of human corpses]
Spike: I bet the poor guy's lonely. Throws a surprise party for himself every night. Maybe even gets lucky every once in a while. (Angel looks at him weirdly) What? They won't mind.

Lilah: You're a really remarkable man, Angel.
Angel: And you're an evil bitch.

Spike: Drusilla made me a vampire. You made me a monster.

Spike: You never knew the real me. Too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you.
Angel: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you: Because you weren't me.

Angel: I guess I've been feeling a little rocky.
Lorne: Yeah, you're rocky all right, and Rocky two and half of the one with Mr T.

Cordelia: Oh, and you're welcome.
Angel: [answers the phone] Hello? Yes, I know. She's... but that's impossible. She's standing...
[Cordelia is gone]
Angel: I'm sorry. Yeah. When did she die? Did she um... she never did wake up? I see.
[hangs up]
Angel: Thank you.

Angel: Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, EAT her.
Harmony: Really? Thanks.

[about Nina's advances]
Wesley: How did you respond?
Angel: Well, of course I ignored her completely, changed the subject and locked her in a cage.

Fred: It's my boys. I haven't had this many strapping guys at my bedside since that night with the Varsity LaCrosse team. It was a joke.

Spike: You just want it to be the way you want it to be.
Angel: It's not about what I want!
Wesley: Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?
Angel: No.
Wesley: It just... sounds a little serious.
Angel: It was mostly... theoretical. We...
Spike: We were just working out a b- Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wesley: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this? Do the astronauts have weapons?
Angel, Spike: No.

Gunn: If he ain't dead, I'm gonna kill him.

Fred: Handsome man saves me.
Angel: That's how it works. Let's get crackin'
[they leave; to Wes]
Fred: Hmph. 'Get crackin'? He's such an old fogy.

Fred: My boys. I walk with heroes. Think about that.
Wesley: You are one.
Fred: Superhero. And this is my power: to not let them take me. Not me.

[replying to Fred's comment on how they still had Wolfram & Hart as a place to get help to find Angel]
Gunn: Right, we'll just stroll into their heavily guarded law offices, and as Lilah the evil bitch queen for help in finding out what's happened to their arch enemy, but we're kind of broke so it's going to have to be pro bono."

Fred: (to Gunn) It's going to be ok, Angel and Cordy are out there. And no matter what the Powers-The-Screw-You throw at us, we're going to find them.

[to Connor, whom she just found out betrayed Angel]
Fred: I know you're still hurting, but I promise... it's not nearly as much as you're going to hurt for what you did to your father.

Gunn: [to Connor on Angel's return] That's right, Sparky, daddy's coming home. And I'm guessing there's going to be a spanking.

Angel: Wesley told me everything that's been going on. So as far as I'm concerned, what you deserve rests on one answer. Did you do something to Cordelia?
Connor: No.
Fred: He's lying.
Connor: No, I'm not.
Charles Gunn: No way she just happened to disappear the same night.
Connor: I'm telling the truth!
Angel: I can tell. You've done enough lying for me to tell the difference. truth has a better sound to it. Less nasal, you know.

Spike: She's too far gone to help. She's... one of us now. She's a monster.
Angel: She's an innocent victim.
Spike: So were we... once upon a time.
Angel: Once upon a time.

Darla: What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our hearts; even if they no longer beat. Simple death won't change that.

Angel: [about Fred] I should never have brough her here. I should have known... bad things always happen here.
Spike: Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen everywhere.

Spike: You're fixing to do something stupid, aren't you?
Angel: Done it. I came here.

Angel: Gunn, you payed a high price for what's inside that head of yours... use it.

Lindsey McDonald: Angel...
[sees the knife on Angel's belt]
Lindsey McDonald: ...make it quick.
Angel: If I was gonna kill you I definitely wouldn't make it quick.

Angel: [about Eve's replacement as the Senior Partner's liason] Damn... he is well dressed.

Lindsey McDonald: Look, it's my hero.
Angel: I'm not your hero. I'm your warden.
Lindsey McDonald: It's all in how you look at the glass.

Lindsey McDonald: [to Eve after she signs a paper signing over her immortality] Still happy to see me?

Lindsey McDonald: Hereos don't accept the world the way it is... they fight it.

Cordelia: We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. I'll be seeing you.
[coming back to kiss Angel]
Cordelia: Oh, what the hell. One for the road?

Spike: And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by...
Fred: E-excuse me?
Wesley: Did, did you just say, Spike has a soul? You never said.
Angel: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
Gunn: Seems to be a lot of that.
Spike: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club, another vampire with a soul in the world.
Angel: You're not in the world... Casper.

Andrew: Spike, is Angel crying?
Spike: No. Not yet.

[to Lorne]
Host's Elder: May you rot in Tarkna!
[slams door as Lorne's Elder walks inside]
Host's Elder: Numfar, do the Dance of Shame.

Angel: Dumb idea for such a smarty. You know bullets don't kill me. Wanna see how they work on you?

Fred: Can I say somethin about destiny? Screw destiny! If this evil thing comes, we'll fight it and we'll keep fighting it until we whoop it. Cuz destiny is just another word for inevitable, and nothing's inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say "you're evitable!"

Lindsey McDonald: You don't trust me. You don't think a man can change?
Lorne the Host: It's not about what I think. This was Angel's plan.
Lindsey McDonald: Come on. I could sing for you.
Lorne the Host: I've heard you sing.
[takes out a gun with a silencer and shoots Lindsey twice in the chest]
Lindsey McDonald: Why, why did you...
Lorne the Host: One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be.
Lindsey McDonald: You kill me?
[collapses to the floor]
Lindsey McDonald: A flunky? I'm not just... Angel... kills me. You don't... Angel...
[his body goes limp]
Lorne the Host: [sighs, looks down] Good night, folks.
[drops gun on floor as he walks out]

Angel: I've been posessed by old lovers before, it never goes well.

Spike: You're a bloody puppet.

Illyria: [Wesley has been fatally stabbed] You'll be dead in moments.
Wes: I know.
Illyria: Would you like me to lie to you now?
Wes: Yes, thank you. Yes.
[Illyria morphs into Fred]
Wes: Hello there.
Illyria: [as Fred] Oh Wesley. My Wesley.
Wes: Fred, I've missed you.
Illyria: It's gonna be okay. It won't hurt much longer and then you'll be where I am.
[Begins crying]
Illyria: We'll be together.
Wes: I love you.
Illyria: I love you. My love. Oh, my love.

Roger Wyndam-Pryce: Spike.
Spike: You've heard of me.
Roger Wyndam-Pryce: No, we've met. 1963, my colleagues and I fell upon you slaughtering an orphanage in Vienna. Killed two of my men before you escaped.
Spike: Oh.
[pauses]
Spike: How've you been?
[Wes has an annoyed look]

Kate Lockley: Ah go to hell!
Angel: [sighs] Been there, done that.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: Y'know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter, I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rodentius demon. Of course, the poodle's owners weren't very happy.

Cordelia: God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.
Charles Gunn: Ooh, pretty wicked looking toy.
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.
Cordelia: Or it makes toast. With her you never know.

Angel: [to Buffy] That's great. Its nice... you moved on. I cant. You found someone new. I'm not allowed to, remember? I see you again, it cuts me up inside, and the person I share that with is me. You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and expect me to do things your way. Go home.

Connor: I'll kill you.
Angel: It'll pass.
Lorne the Host: Yeah, 'cos Lord knows he's never tried that before.

Angelus: [to Connor] And now my boy's in love, all hearts and flowers. But, doesn't it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned was the closest thing you've ever had to a mother. Doin' your mom and trying to kill your dad. Hmm, there should be a play.

Cordelia: I miss that smell
Wes: Camembert, I believe.
Cordelia: No, MONEY!. I miss the smell of money.
Angel: She's not just saying that, I hide some in the office some times just to watch her, it's uncanny.

Vyasa: You're funny, vampire. I bet you'll be a lot funnier when I punch your face in.
Angel: What, like funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?

Allen Francis Doyle: You know, there's a lot of people in this city that need helping.
Angel: So I noticed.
Allen Francis Doyle: You game?
Angel: I'm game.

Gunn: Whoo, Whoo! My God! They told me it was true, but I didn't believe 'em. Damn, here it is. Evil white folks really do have a Mecca. Now, now, now girls, don't get all riled up.
[screams]
Gunn: Did you just step on my foot? Was that my foot you just stepped on? Are you assaulting me up in this haven of justice? Somebody get me a lawyer, because my civil rights have seriously been violated. Oh, I get it, y'all can cater to the demon... cater to the dead man... but what about the black man?

Penn: We were to meet in Italy, remember?
Angel: I remember.
Penn: Well, I waited. Hell, I waited until the 19th century. What happened?
Angel: Got held up in Romania.
Penn: Romania? What's in Romania?
Angel: Gypsies.

Allen Francis Doyle: [trying to do a spell] Oh, man, Latin. One of those dead languages you always mean to learn.

Cordelia: Maybe he has an accomplice, or a hidden camera. Not everything has to be creepy and supernatural, you know.
Angel: Not everything, but Doyle had a vision.
Cordelia: Which last time led to a sex-changing-body-switching-tear-your-innards-out-demon, right. I guess they don't call you for their every day cases.

Harmony: Oh, my God. They shot Lorney-Tunes.

Wesley: We need you.
Faith: Well, er... hate to wet the paper for you Wes, but I'm kinda unavailable right now... maybe you wanna check back in a few decades when my parole comes up.
Wesley: You need to know...
Faith: It's Armageddon again, I dig. Last thing you need is me in the mix. Besides, Angel comes shinin' through in the end like he always does.
Wesley: Angel's gone, Faith. Angelus is back.
Faith: Step away from the glass.

Lorne the Host: Back in Pylea they used to call me 'sweet potato.'
Connor: Really?
Lorne the Host: Yeah, well, the exact translation was 'fragrant tuber' but...

[after finding a room full of human corpses]
Spike: I bet the poor guy's lonely. Throws a surprise party for himself every night. Maybe even gets lucky every once in a while. (Angel looks at him weirdly) What? They won't mind.

Lilah: You're a really remarkable man, Angel.
Angel: And you're an evil bitch.

Spike: Drusilla made me a vampire. You made me a monster.

Spike: You never knew the real me. Too busy trying to see your own reflection... praying there was someone as disgusting as you in the world, so you could stand to live with yourself. Take a long look, hero. I'm nothing like you.
Angel: No. You're less. That's why Buffy never really loved you: Because you weren't me.

Angel: Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, EAT her.
Harmony: Really? Thanks.

Spike: You just want it to be the way you want it to be.
Angel: It's not about what I want!
Wesley: Sorry. Is this something we should all be discussing?
Angel: No.
Wesley: It just... sounds a little serious.
Angel: It was mostly... theoretical. We...
Spike: We were just working out a b- Look, if cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wesley: Ah. You've been yelling at each other for 40 minutes about this? Do the astronauts have weapons?
Angel, Spike: No.
((I think the cavemen would win))

[replying to Fred's comment on how they still had Wolfram & Hart as a place to get help to find Angel]
Gunn: Right, we'll just stroll into their heavily guarded law offices, and as Lilah the evil bitch queen for help in finding out what's happened to their arch enemy, but we're kind of broke so it's going to have to be pro bono."

[to Connor, whom she just found out betrayed Angel]
Fred: I know you're still hurting, but I promise... it's not nearly as much as you're going to hurt for what you did to your father.

Gunn: [to Connor on Angel's return] That's right, Sparky, daddy's coming home. And I'm guessing there's going to be a spanking.

Spike: She's too far gone to help. She's... one of us now. She's a monster.
Angel: She's an innocent victim.
Spike: So were we... once upon a time.
Angel: Once upon a time.

Darla: What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our hearts; even if they no longer beat. Simple death won't change that.

Angel: [about Fred] I should never have brough her here. I should have known... bad things always happen here.
Spike: Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen everywhere.

Spike: You're fixing to do something stupid, aren't you?
Angel: Done it. I came here.

Lindsey McDonald: Hereos don't accept the world the way it is... they fight it.

Spike: And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by...
Fred: E-excuse me?
Wesley: Did, did you just say, Spike has a soul? You never said.
Angel: Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.
Gunn: Seems to be a lot of that.
Spike: Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club, another vampire with a soul in the world.
Angel: You're not in the world... Casper.

Andrew: Spike, is Angel crying?
Spike: No. Not yet.

[to Lorne]
Host's Elder: May you rot in Tarkna!
[slams door as Lorne's Elder walks inside]
Host's Elder: Numfar, do the Dance of Shame.
((Luv the Dance of Shame!))

Angel: Dumb idea for such a smarty. You know bullets don't kill me. Wanna see how they work on you?

Fred: Can I say somethin about destiny? Screw destiny! If this evil thing comes, we'll fight it and we'll keep fighting it until we whoop it. Cuz destiny is just another word for inevitable, and nothing's inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say "you're evitable!"

Lindsey McDonald: You don't trust me. You don't think a man can change?
Lorne the Host: It's not about what I think. This was Angel's plan.
Lindsey McDonald: Come on. I could sing for you.
Lorne the Host: I've heard you sing.
[takes out a gun with a silencer and shoots Lindsey twice in the chest]
Lindsey McDonald: Why, why did you...
Lorne the Host: One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be.
Lindsey McDonald: You kill me?
[collapses to the floor]
Lindsey McDonald: A flunky? I'm not just... Angel... kills me. You don't... Angel...
[his body goes limp]
Lorne the Host: [sighs, looks down] Good night, folks.
[drops gun on floor as he walks out]

[Thorne Rose]

:lol:

[Your Master]

^^

[Thorne Rose]

:D

[Your Master]

Which are some of your favorite?

[Thorne Rose]

Don't make me choose! XD

[Your Master]

alright! I wont!

[Thorne Rose]

;) :lol: