Quotes

[Your Master]

Buffy: Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection.

Spike: This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Willow: Happy hunting.
Buffy: Wish me monsters.

Andrew: Get out of my brain!

Angel: You and me, Faith, we're a lot alike. Time was, I thought humans existed just to hurt each other. But then I came here. And I found out that there are other types of people. People who genuinely wanted to do right. And they make mistakes. And they fall down. You know, but they keep caring. Keep trying. If you can trust us, Faith, this can all change. You don't have to disappear into the darkness.

Willow: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't wanna hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: Are you gonna tell me that I'm jealous?
Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.
Angel: You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feelin' guilty... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.

Anya: It's like we live in Slayer Central. I swear, if Buffy rooms or boards one more of the potential girls, I'm gonna call a health inspector.
Spike: I like my plan better. Get up, get out, get drunk, repeat as needed. It's just more elegant.

Buffy: I now have my weapons categorized from A to Z, from "axe" to..."zee other axe".

Buffy: [answers phone] Hello, Magic Box.
Spike: [deep voice] Slayer.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: [deep voice] Meet me at the cemetery. 20 minutes. Come alone.
Buffy: Spike?
Spike: [mutters under breath] Bloody hell.
[normal voice]
Spike: Yes, it's me.
Buffy: You're... calling me on the phone?
Spike: Just be there.

Buffy: I just don't want you to get your hopes up.
Xander: Hopes? Oh, no no no no. There are no hopes. Anya and I are done. I love being single. I'm a strong, successful male who's giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future.
Buffy: Strong, successful males say "giddy"?

Buffy: [jumps down from window] What are you doing here?
Spike: I...
Buffy: Five words.
Spike: [counts on his fingers] Out... for... a... walk.
Spike: [pause] ... bitch!
((Yep, that’s five words all together! XD))

Anya: Well, at first it was confusing. Just the idea of computers was like, whoa, I'm eleven hundred years old. I had trouble adjusting to the idea of Lutherans.
Tara: I go online sometimes, but everyone's spelling is really bad, and it's depressing.
((Ah! I'm depressing to Tara! - I can't spell well at all! - just ask Thorne …))

Willow: So, that's it?
Buffy: That's it. Assuming we survive this Ascension thing, he's gonna leave town.
Willow: Well, he's a fool. He's just a big, dumb, jerk person. If you ask me. And he's a super maxi-jerk for doing it right before the prom.
Buffy: It's not his fault. He's 243 years old. He doesn't exactly get the prom.
Willow: But he should. If he...
Buffy: Will, it's okay. You don't have to make him the bad guy.
Willow: But, that's the best friend's job. Vilifying and grousing.
Buffy: Usually, yeah. But he's right. I think that maybe in the long run, he's right.
Willow: Yeah. I think he is. I mean, I tried to hope for the best, but... I'm sorry. Must be horrible.
Buffy: I think horrible is still coming. Right now, it's worse. Right now, I'm just trying to keep from dying.
Willow: Oh Buffy.
Buffy: I can't breathe Will. I feel like I can't breathe.

Giles: She lied to me?
Willow: Well...
Angel: Did... she have a date?
Willow: Well... Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off. And you, you never let her do anything except work and patrol. And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure. I mean, she's sixteen going on forty. And you. I mean, you're gonna live forever. You don't have time for a cup of coffee? Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've gotta help Buffy.

Xander: Uh-huh. Go away.
Spike: Now why would I do that when it's bugging you so much having me here? They have chicken wings, too. Also, a sort of a flower-shaped thing made from an onion. It's brilliant.
Xander: Are you talking to me hoping that I'll get so depressed that I'll impale myself on a fork right in front of you?
Spike: Lovely thought. If I don't hurt you myself, the chip won't zap me. I could eat you that way, beats the onion thing to Hell.

Willow: Our friends are in trouble. Now, we have to put our heads together and get them out of it. And it you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!
Cordelia: We're sorry.
Xander: We'll be good.

Spike: I'm insane. What's his excuse?

Xander: For what its worth...
Principal Snyder: It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.
Xander: Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in a position to be that honest with you.

Giles: Dear god, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're going to have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it's not fair on her.
Buffy: What'd she make you do?
Giles: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance. Then we ate cookie dough, and talked about boys.
Buffy: [laughing] I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry, but if it makes you feel any better, my "fun time Buffy party night" involved watching a robot throw Spike through a window, so if you wanna trade... no... wait... I wouldn't give that memory up for anything.

the gang is fighting a troll]
Anya: How can I help?
Willow: Uh, distract him from Buffy. Uh, piss him off.
Anya: I don't know how!
Willow: Anya, I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off.

Anya: How do I know you won't make another pass at Xander as you did two years ago when he was with Cordelia?
Willow: Hello? Gay now.

Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?
Cordelia: What's the difference?
Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.
Xander: Well, I hate brie.
Cordelia: I know. It smells like Giles' cat.

Joyce: I... love... what you've neglected to do with the place.

Glory: Funny. 'Cause I look around at this world you're so eager to be a part of... and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who's not crazy? Look around. Everyone's drinking, smoking, shooting up... shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out 'cause they don't want 'em anymore. *I'm* crazy? Honey, I'm the original one-eyed chicklet in the kingdom of the blind. 'Cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.

Willow: I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.
Buffy: Meow.
Willow: Really? Thanks. I've never gotten a "meow" before.

Cordelia: When did you become Martha Stewart?
Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.
Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.
Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to.

Faith: When I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away. I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win, and they're gonna lose. I *like* that feeling.
Buffy: Well sure, beats that "dead" feeling you get when they win and *you* lose.

Spike: How was your walk, pet?
Drusilla: I met an old man. I didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth.
((Luvs Dru!))

Spike: Ahhhh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Ah... God... I wish I was dead.

Angel: I lurk.

Dawn: Lurk much?
Spike: I wasn't lurking, I was standin' about. It's a totally different vibe.

Xander: Are you ready to get down, you funky party weasel?

Xander: Dorkhead? You lash me with your words.

Principal Snyder: It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

Spike: Whatcha doin', love?
Drusilla: I'm naming the stars.
Spike: You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also it's day.
Drusilla: No, I can see them. But I've named them all the same name, and there's terrible confusion.

((Luv that quote! One of my favorites!))

Buffy: I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay then, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

Xander: We're right behind you, only further back.

Xander: Yep, vampires are real. A lot of 'em live in Sunnydale. Willow 'll fill you in.
Willow: I know it's hard to accept at first.
Oz: Actually, it explains a lot.

Xander: So, we Bronzin' it tonight?
Willow: Wednesdays, kinda beat...
Xander: Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but, gosh, we did that last night.

Buffy: Vampires are creeps.
Giles: Yes. That's why one slays them.

Angel: I can walk like a man but I'm not one.

Anya: I don't know. You might survive.
Andrew: No. You might survive. You can handle a weapon, you've been in this world for, like, a thousand years. I'm not so... I don't think I'll be okay. I'm cool with it. I think I'd like to finish out as one of those lame humans trying to do what's right.
Anya: Yeah.
Andrew: So. Wheelchair fight?

Buffy: Have I ever let you down?
Giles: Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?

Cordelia: I guess you should know since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time.
Giles: Yes, do bring that up as often as possible.

Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with deadboy on this one.
Angel: Could you not call me that?

Buffy: Are you crazy? You just don't sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk, you stomp, or... yodel.

Buffy: How long do you think that he can stay angry at me anyway?
Willow: The emotional marathon man?


Buffy: I gotta stop him before he unleashes unholy havoc and it's just another Tuesday night in Sunnydale.

Buffy: I'm sorry, it's just been a really weird day.
Xander: Yeah, Buffy died and everything.
Willow: Wow, harsh.

Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky.

Buffy: You need a personality, stat.

Buffy: Oh look, a bad guy.

Buffy: See, this is a school. And we have students and they check out books and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.

Cordelia: What are you doing? Are you going like stalkerboy on me now?

Giles: Alright. I'll just jump into my time machine, go back to the 12th century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.

Buffy: She saw these scores and her head spun round and exploded.
Giles: I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?

Oz: I can see why you would be upset. Oh, that was my sarcastic voice.
Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Oz: I've been told that.

Oz: It's Willow, she's nearby.
Cordelia: What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume.
Oz: She's afraid.
Cordelia: Oh my God, is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing.
Oz: I really agree.

Principal Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, "Think of your principal as your pal." I say, "Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner."

Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A "bitca"?

Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years.
Xander: Yeah, I'm irrational that way.

Xander: Hi, for those of you who just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person.

Xander: So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him? 'Cause I don't know anything much besides "Doritos" and "chihuahua."

Cordelia: It's in the bad side of town.
Buffy: Where's that?
Cordelia: It's about a half a block from the good side of town. We don't have a whole lot of town here.

Xander: It is a statistical impossibility for a sixteen year old girl to unplug a phone.

Xander: What's taking you so long?
Spike: Give me a second I'm packing.
[Spike starts loading things into a bag]
Xander: Hey. That's my lamp, you can't steal my lamp.
Spike: You're what, shocked and surprised? Do I have to remind you that I am Evil?

Buffy: It claimed to be the original evil, the one that came before anything else.
Anya: Please, how many times have I heard that line in my demon days? "I'm so rotten, they don't even have a word for it. I'm bad. Baddy bad bad bad. Does it make you horny?"

Spike: I did a couple of slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag.

Xander: I don't get your crazy system.
Giles: It's called the alphabet.
Xander: Would ya look at that.

Buffy: When Giles sends me on a mission, he says "please." And afterwards I get a cookie.

Jenny Calendar: You're here again? You kids really dig the library don't you?
Buffy: We're literary.
Xander: To read makes our speaking English good.

Buffy: Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away.
Giles: Oh, please.
Spike: Giles, make her stop.
Giles: If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand.

Xander: Jeez. You mean Oz just sent for his stuff and didn't even call her? That's pretty harsh.
Anya: I only wish I had my powers back. I'd liquefy his entrails for her.
Xander: That's sweet.

Buffy: I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would've figured it out by now. I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen One. She-who-hangs-out-a-lot-in-cemeteries? You're kidding. Ask around. Look it up: "Slayer, comma, the."

Anya: Xander, you haven't been paying any attention to me tonight. Just peddling those processed food bricks. I don't know why.
Xander: Well, let me put it in a way you'll understand. Sell bars, make money. Take Anya nice places, buy pretty things.
Anya: That does make sense.

Willow: I just talked to Buffy, and yeah, I think she's feeling a little... insane. No, not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, 'kay?

Forrest: This is the burden we bear, brother. We have a gig that would inevitably cause any girl living to think we are cool upon cool. Yet, we must Clark Kent our way through the dating scene, never to use our unfair advantage. Thank God we're pretty.

Spike: We're out of Weetabix.
Giles: We are out of Weetabix because you ate it all. Again.
Spike: Get some more.
Giles: I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood.
Spike: Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.
Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself.
Spike: Sissy.

Angel: Buffy, careful with this gift. Lots of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like, say, immortality?
Angel: Exactly. I'm dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: I'm a funny guy.

Buffy: Tonight sucks. And, and look at me. Look at, look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and, and, and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And, and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end. And the only person I can even stand to be around is a... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker.
Buffy: You sound like Mr. Initiative. "Demons bad, people good."
Riley: Something wrong with that theorem?

Xander: All right, where is he? Where's the creep who turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch?
Buffy: He's gone.
Xander: Dammit. You know what? I'm sick of this. I'm tired of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm through being everybody's butt-monkey.
Buffy: Check. No more butt-monkey.

[on Xander's change in behavior]
Giles: It's devastating. He's turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Of course, you'll have to kill him.

Willow: Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy? Or some ducks?

[On speaking up]
Willow: That way lies madness and sweaty palms.

Angel: Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing there. It's an overrated pleasure.

Cordelia: Why are these terrible things always happening to me?
Xander: Karma?

Xander: Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Xander: We're in the Crime Club, which is kind of like the Chess Club. Only with Crime. And no Chess.

[waking from a nightmare]
Willow: Don't warn the tadpoles.

Drusilla: We're going to destroy the world, wanna come?
Angel: No, I'm more interested in destroying the slayer.
Spike: Well, she's in the world so that should work out.

Buffy: Why are you standing in my room hugging Mr. Gordo?
Angel: Mr. Gordo?
Buffy: The pig.

Giles: Buffy, you technically were dead.
Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.
Giles: That's why Kendra is here. You were dead.
Buffy: Would you stop saying that? I was only dead for a little while.

Kendra: We have to go back to your Watcher to get orders.
Buffy: I don't take orders. I do things my way.
Kendra: No wonder you died.
Buffy: Let's go.

Buffy: Ooh, good plan. Let's go, charge. Not quite, John Wayne.

Xander: Oh, here we go. I am the bug man, coo coo cachoo.

[about Angel]
Xander: Man, that guy got major neck in his day.

Oz: Want some animal crackers?
Willow: No thanks.
Oz: You know the monkey is the only cookie animal that gets clothes... .I wonder if the hippo is like, 'Hey, were are my clothes?' and the monkey is like, 'I mock you with my monkey pants.'... All monkeys are French, you didn't know that?

Buffy: Hi, Oz!
Oz: Hi.
Buffy: I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here.
Oz: But you're not a rat. So call it an upside.

Anya: Anybody else feel that?
Willow: What?
Anya: Cold draft of paralyzing fear?

[after Xanders basement leaks]
Spike: My soddin' chairs all... sodden.

[Spike takes a lackadaisical approach to saving Giles' life]
Giles: You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.
Spike: Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cup o' tea, cup o' tea, almost got shagged, cup o' tea.

Anya practices her wedding vows]
Anya: I, Anya, promise to cherish you... Ew, no, not cherish. Uh, I promise to have sex with you whenever... *I* want, and, uh...
[walking down off the platform]
Anya: uh, pledge to be your friend, and your wife, and your confidant, and your sex poodle...
Tara: Uh, sex poodle?
Anya: Yeah, why?
Tara: Um, I'm not sure you should say 'sex poodle' in your vows.

Willow: [Turns around and finds Angel gone] Great, you made him do that thing where he's gone.

[frequent refrain of evil Willow]
Willow: Bored now.

Xander: Why can't we just once find a bunny-worshipping cult?
Anya: God, thanks for those nightmares.

Xander: You mean I'm the key guy? I'm the key guy. Ahh... pride... joy...
Buffy: I think Angel should go with you.
Xander: Wait a minute. I'm still the key guy though right?
Buffy: Yes Xander.
Xander: Very well. Angel may accompany me in a non-key-guy capacity.
Angel: What fun.
Xander: Excuse me. Key guy still talking here.

Anya: You know who else aren't American? French people.

Drusilla: Do you love my insides, the parts you can't see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails.

Riley: Back to what I was saying before we were rudely attacked by nothing.

[to Warren]
Andrew: You keep leaving me, I hate it when you leave me. One time you died and I became a Mexican.

Buffy: Giles, are you breaking up with you car?
Giles: Well, it did seduce me, all red and sporty.
Buffy: Little two door tramp.

Xander: Why would a vampire lie about who sired him. What's that, some kind of status symbol for the undead? My sire can beat up your sire.

Cordelia: Hi, Mr. Beech. I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? Oh, it's for the yearbook

Xander: Also, sometimes I'll say something about Anya and Willow will get this look, this what-the-Hell-do-you-see-in-her look.
Spike: I know that look. A lot of people never really got Dru, you know.
Xander: She was insane.

Andrew Wells: Babe II: Pig in the City was underrated. That'll do, pig, that'll do.

Xander: Wait... I'm having an idea. Now I'm having a plan.
[the lights go out]
Xander: ...and now I'm having a wiggins.

Amanda: If we don't save the world, then... nothing matters.
Kennedy: That's catchy, Amanda. Let's make that our slogan.

[In Xander's dream]
Spike: Giles here is gonna teach me to be a Watcher. Says I got the stuff.
Giles: Spike's like a son to me.
Xander: That's good. I was into that for a while, but... I got other stuff goin' on. You gotta have something. Gotta be with movin' forward.
Buffy: Like a shark.
Xander: Like a shark with feet and... much less fins.
Spike: And on land.
Giles: Very good.

Giles: Everything's terrible. Total catastrophe.
Buffy: Giles, what's wrong?
Giles: Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen.

Anya: [sings] Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes. They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses. And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? Bunnies. Bunnies. It must be bunnies. Or maybe midgets.

Kennedy: I don't care if it's Godzilla. I want to get in this thing.
Andrew: Godzilla's mostly Tokyo-based, so he's probably a no-show.
Amanda: Besides, if Matthew Broderick can kill Godzilla, how tough is he?
Andrew: [pained] Xander...
Xander: Matthew Broderick did not kill Godzilla. He killed a big, dumb lizard. That was not the real Godzilla.

Andrew: I-I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries. They're really good.
Spike: Not as good as those onion blossom things.
Andrew: Ooh, I love those.
Spike: Yeah, me, too.
Andrew: It's an onion... and it's a flower. I-I don't understand how such a thing is possible.
Spike: See, the genius of it is you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape. Then you deep-fry it root-side up for about 5 minutes.
Andrew: Masterful.
Spike: Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you.
Andrew: Right.

Buffy: I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much fire bad, tree pretty.
Giles: Understandable. Well, when it's working again congratulate it on a good campaign. You did very well.
Buffy: Thank you. I will.
Giles: I ah... I managed to ferret this out of the wreckage. Now, it may not interest you, but...
[pulls out a high school diploma]
Giles: I'd say you earned it. There is a certain dramatic irony that's attached to all this. A synchronicity that borders on... on predestination, one might say.
Buffy: Fire bad, tree pretty.
Andrew: Oh, and there's a box full of ointments... I used one a' these on a rash once.
Anya: Show me.
Andrew: Well, it's healed up, but it was sort of red and crusty with little itchy places...
Anya: Show me the box full of ointments, you little freak.

Angel: Got coverage on the whole thing. Very gripping. Needs a third act.
Buffy: You have to leave L.A.

Andrew: We will not be afraid to protect it with our very lives.
Anya: Yes, we will not be afraid to protect it with his very life.
Xander: Don't be afraid to use him as a human shield.
Anya: Yes. Good. Thanks.

Andrew: That was kinda beautiful. You love humans.
Anya: No I don't.
Andrew: Yes, you do. You luuuuve them.
Anya: Stop it. I don't love them and I'll kill you if you tell anybody.

Angel: Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man.
Buffy: You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster.

[About how Anya died]
Xander: So, did you see?
Andrew: I-I was scared. I'm sorry.
Xander: Did you see what happened? I mean, was she...
Andrew: She was incredible. She died saving my life.
Xander: That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing.

Andrew Wells: I spy with my little eye something that begins with a T.
Spike: Tapestry.
Andrew Wells: Hey, good one. How did you...?
Spike: Tapestry's the only thing in the whole bloody room.

Spike: I'm drowning in footwear.
[Sits up]
Spike: Weird dream.

Buffy: Willow, you're alive.
Willow: Aren't I usually?

Evil Vampire Willow: This is a dumb world. In my world there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies.

Willow: It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?
Xander: Will, we saw you at The Bronze. A vampire.
Willow: I'm not a vampire.
Buffy: You are. I mean, you were. Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, uh... something very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?

[the Mayor has told Buffy and Angel that they could never last]
Buffy: How could he know anything about us?
Angel: Well, he's evil.
Buffy: Big time. He doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is.
Angel: No.
Buffy: Probably the only lasting relationship he's ever had is with evil.
Angel: Yeah.
Buffy: Big, stupid, evil guy. We'll be okay.
Angel: We will.

Buffy: Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this cryptic wise man act on a regular basis can you at least tell me your name?
Angel: Angel.
Buffy: Angel. It's a pretty name.

Giles: There's mention some two hundred years ago in Ireland of, of Angelus, the one with the angelic face.
Buffy: They got that right.

Buffy: You tried to kill my family.
Angel: Why not? I killed mine. I killed their friends... and their friend's children... For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

Angel: I-if this is a bad time, I...
Willow: No. I just... I'm not supposed to have boys in my room.
Angel: I promise to behave myself.
Willow: Okay. Good.

Willow: Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either.
Oz: You are quite the human.

Willow: Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. 'Don't get killed.'

Xander: Angel? Weird? What are the odds?

Willow: He said he wasn't coming back until he'd driven to all fifty states.
Buffy: Did you explain about Hawaii?
Willow: Well, he seemed so determined.

Willow: Angel? I saw him too.
Giles: That's not terribly stealthy of him.
Willow: I think he's lost his edge.

[Joyce and Dawn are staying with Spike]
Spike: Just don't break anything. And don't make a lotta noise. Passions is coming on.
Joyce: Passions? Oh, do you think Timmy's really dead?
Spike: Oh, no, no. She can just sew him back together. He's a doll, for God's sake.
Joyce: Ah, what about the wedding? I mean, there's no way they're gonna go through with that.

Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have, have to come around to that freak?
[Angel is behind him]
Xander: Hey, man, how you doin'?
Angel: Buffy.
Buffy: Angel.
Xander: Xander.
Angel: I hear this place, uh, serves coffee. I thought maybe you and I should get some. Sometime. If you want.
Buffy: Yeah. Sometime. I'll let you know.

Giles: It appears to be paranormal in origin.
Buffy: How can you tell?
Giles: Well, it's so shiny.

Xander: So, when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?
Angel: I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.
Xander: A-and if he bit me, what then?
Angel: We would've known he bought it.

Spike: So... where's tall, dark and forehead?

Xander: Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group?
Anya: You did.
Tara: You said Willow should be boss.
Anya: And then you said "let's vote", and it was unanimous...
Tara: ...and then you made her this little plaque, that said "Boss of Us", you put little sparkles on it...
Xander: Valid points, all. But we... I mean...

Andrew: Buffy is like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It's like the air she breathes, and she knows she will win because there is no alternative.

Spike: There's always casualties in war, Buffy.
Buffy: Casualties. It just sounds so... casual.

Willow: Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a sore thumb and gone 'wow, that baby is sore'?
Xander: You have too many thoughts.

Xander: You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell, curse and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um,
[ahem]
Xander: Slayer kryptonite.
Oz: Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills.
Xander: You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of his powers.
Oz: [thinks] Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird...
Buffy: [impatiently] Guys? Reality?

Willow: We did a whole duet about dish washing. There was an entire verse about the couscous.

Buffy: Wah! This doesn't make any sense!
Willow: Oh, sure it does, see... Oh, this doesn't make any sense.
Buffy: It's senseless!
Willow: It is, but, at least you know that, so, you're learning!

Glory: Tick-tock, Dreg. Tick-frickin-tock.

[Thorne Rose]

XD LOVE THEM ALL!

[Your Master]

XD They are great!

[Thorne Rose]

*nod*

[Your Master]

Got any favorites?

[Thorne Rose]

All of them....

[Your Master]

^^

[Thorne Rose]

:D