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 Good/crappy Rp Examples
xxshonix_ryonobuXX
Posted: May 6 2008, 05:53 PM


Ghetto delicious


Group: Creators
Posts: 15,776
Member No.: 99
Joined: 21-December 07



Just so you know what to do when you're writing your intro.

Not So Good:

Example RP: He stares out the beautiful mountains of the sound village as he sits and drinks his tea.

Errrrrm.............. WAY too short.

Oh, and dig this.

((taken from an actual wolf rp I did a few months ago))

Ohmygosh, my char bites your char in the butt, then runs away!

Good examples:

Example RP:
*Shiori ran through the forest, looking for her pet, Inaharu, a small black cat. Inaharu had been given to her when she was five by her older brother. Her mom had died a couple of months before Inaharu was given to her because of a disease that her family called ‘monogas’. This disease causes your organs to eat away at your heart, leading to an extremely painful death. Only the people with the Kimatori bloodline got it. Then, when she was ten, her dad was killed by someone they called ‘the man with many faces’. When he had died, he gave her a red feather that enhanced her wind jutsu that the Kimatori clan had*

“Inaharu, Inaharu, where are you?!” *She stopped on a random branch and looked around* “Where is that darn cat?” *Suddenly Shiori heard a distance meow* “Inaharu!” *She ran in the direction of the meows. Shiori gasped once she saw a fully-grown black cat stuck in a bundle of thorns* “Oh no, Inaharu!” *She ran over to her and stuck her arm into the thorns. They cut into her arm and she winced. Shiori continued to force her hand into the thorns. She pulled it apart and Inaharu jumped out of the bundle of thorns. The cat was cut up pretty badly, but not as bad as Shiori’s arms and hands. Shiori looked down at her bloody arms and she became dizzy. Ever since her parents had died, she always got sick once she saw a lot of blood.

*She removed her backpack from on her back and unzipped it. It was a good thing it was empty. “Inaharu, get in, I’ll carry you back home.” *Inaharu meowed and jumped into her backpack. Shiori zipped it up slightly, only so her cat couldn’t fall out of her back, and carefully placed it on her back. Then she turned and started jumping from tree-to-tree. She struggled to keep consciousness as she ran towards home.*

*Shiori got home, the Sound Village and hurried inside the hospital. She requested someone to heal her cat. The nurses looked at her with raised eyebrows and finally agreed to help the cat, and to help her as well, even though Shiori didn’t ask them to treat her wounds. The nurses took them both into a room and treated their wounds. After a while, they informed them that they were surprised that they had made it all the way to the hospital alive because the thorns had injected a great amount of poison into their bloodstreams. The news surprised both Shiori and Inaharu. How had they not known that the thorns had been poisonous? They didn’t feel any different except for the blood rushing from their wounds*




All these lovely intros were not done by me 88D
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