Njerpezit Poetry

I have been conducting anthropological studies in the Unreal World for about two winters now; one of the most interesting cultures is unquestionably the Njierpez. They have an intriguing (if a little nihilistic) lifestyle, a characteristic unibrow appearance, and (this might be news to some) are, as a nation, endowed with great poetic gifts.

Here are some exerpts of the so called "death poems" written by N. warriors which I've been able to collect in my travels; I treasure them greatly and intend to pass the collection to my progeny, who, I hope, would by their own effort work ceaselessly to increase this into a multi-tome anthology.

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ALONE IN THE GREEN FOREST
YOU HEAR AN ANIMAL SQUEAKING --
PUT ON ARMOUR NOW

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BITING COLD, WORN WOOLEN FOOTRAGS
HAVE SOMEONE'S VERY BLACK TOES STICKING OUT
WHO'D THINK THEY ARE MINE?

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NOTHING BETTER THAN A MUG
OF BEER, THROWN BACK UNCEREMONIOUSLY, PICKY WIFE
LIKES DRIED REINDEER CUTS TOO

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ANIMAL COOING IN THE DISTANCE
HUNGRY FOR TWO DAYS AND HAVE ONE ARROW
SPRING FORESTS CAN BE UGLY

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RED HEAT AND HOT BLOOD:
MIGHTY WARRIOR SLEPT ONE MOMENT TOO LONG
BASTARD SWORD FALLS DOWN CLUNKING

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WALKING THE GREEN MEADOW I
BENT DOWN TO PICK A STRAWBERRY BLOSSOM
HOPE ENEMY DOESN"T HAVE CROSSBOW

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TURNIPS IN SEASON, ONLY TODAY
I LOST MY APPETITE ALL TOO ABRUPTLY:
SNEAKY PLAYER SCORES MORTAL WOUND

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WHAT GOOD IS THE LOVESONG
OF THE CAT WHO LIVES ON LEASH:
PLAYER'S ABOMINABLE PET LYNX

Very nice. I've newer before heard anyone to merely play the game
as a wandering folklore or poetry collector. Your work is similar to
that of Samuli Paulaharju or Elias Lönnrot... both finnish, I don't if you
know them or not.
It seems like the Njerpezi are willing to sing only for very few of us. To
me they have never said anything nice.

-Sami
Author of the game

Encouraged by this success, I disguised myself as a Njerpez warrior and crashed one of their drinking parties. I'm still not sure how I managed to escape in the end, but at least I got some poems too... I like yours better, though.

MY KNIFE IS SO SHARP
IT CUTS MEN OF KAUMO DEEP
PERKELE, I YELL.

(Per-ke-le has three syllables, just so you know... Kau-mo has two. Wasn't really sure how to count them in this case, but decided to do it like this.)

I WAS SO HUNGRY
THAT I RISKED SOME RAW MUSHROOMS
UNBOILED LAURM BE DAMNED!

ONCE I HAD A PIG
WHICH WAS TO BE MY NEXT MEAL
MAN, PIGS SURE HIT HARD

WE BUILT OUR CAMP HERE
AND THEN SET THE WOODS ON FIRE
NOW WE HAVE NO CAMP

Thank you, thank you.

Thanks a lot guys I could not have guessed I'd have the author of the game and URWelo read the poem collection in person!

What inspired me to become a folklore collector is that I discovered (by accident) that my crazy wife Marjatta is a treasure-trove of songs and tall tales... All I have to do is ask her to "sing a song"!

Some of these were beautifully tragic. And I thought to myself, what could be more tragic than the life of the promethean Njerpezi warrior...