Benny, Turning to the Betrayer-and the Betrayed

[Tom Collins]

Collins sighed as he leaned over the polished wood of the bar, not really in the mood for the atmosphere of the place. "Give me another one, Joe." He muttered, slapping a bill onto the surface in front of him. The bartender sighed and poured our a small shot of liquor, passing it to Collins swiftly and then going back to his job of polishing and repolishing the glasses.

"I fucked up, man. I fucked up real bad." Collins groaned, downing his shot in one quick gulp.

"Oh, not another one..." the bartender muttered under his breath. "What did you do wrong?"

"I was drunk... hah, how ironic," Collins replied, letting out a dry laugh as he surveyed the empty glasses in front of him. "And I guess I got the idea into my head that it was okay to kiss a fucking stranger, right in front of my girl."

"If I had a nickel for every time I heard that story..." Joe said, rolling his eyes. Collins shot him an angry glare and turned away, staring towards the door.

"She says it's not my fault, but I know she's hurt. I can tell. And now... I'm turning back to the thing that betrayed me. Come on, one more," Collins held out his hand behind him, waiting for another drink to be put into it.

"Here you go," the bartender grumbled, sticking the drink into Collins' outstretched hand.

"Tha-Benny?!" Collins gasped, accidentally dropping the glass in his hand as his old friend walked through the door. "What the hell is he doing in this dump?" Collins asked himself, under his breath.

"Oh, thanks," Joe said sarcastically, obviously having heard the depressed anarchist.

[Benjamin Coffin III]

Benny jumped in surprise at Collins' voice. For a brief moment, he had the almost-irresistible urge to flee instead of facing his old friend, but it soon passed. He spotted the numerous empty glasses in front of the anarchist and gaped. Good lord, Collins was going to have some hangover in the morning! But wait... why was Collins drinking himself into a stupor?

Concerned for his (former?) friend, he cautiously made his way through the tables and settled onto the stool next to him. Careful to keep his nice pants out of the path of the alcohol dripping off of the counter from Collins' dropped glass, he tried to think of something to say.

After opening and closing his mouth several times in a rather ridiculous way, he finally managed to ask, "Collins, what are you doing?"

[Tom Collins]

Collins just stared as Benny made his way towards him, not bothering to clean up the mess he had made with his drink. "You still have to pay for that!" Joe reminded him angrily, taking out a cloth and beginning to wipe up the mess.

"The question, Benjamin, is 'what are you doing here?!'" Collins corrected his old friend as Benny took a seat opposite him. "I mean, this is a bohemian hang out, man. You don't belong."

[Benjamin Coffin III]

Benny took a deep breath, frowning. "Maybe... maybe I just felt like a change of pace." Maybe I miss being a bohemian. he added silently. He didn't say it aloud, however, for fear Collins would laugh at him. He supposed he should be happy the anarchist hadn't called him "yuppie scum" or anything like that yet.

He pushed these thoughts aside, turning his attention again to the at least half a dozen glasses in front of Collins. "Seriously, Collins. Why are you drinking yourself into a stupor?" He eyed the mass of glasses again. "You're gonna kill yourself if you drink much more."

[Tom Collins]

A change? Collins thought to himself in confusion. He pushed that thought to the back of his mind as Benny once again mentioned his drinking. "It's my fault, man. I... I was really wasted the other night, and I kissed another guy. In front of Angel. I still can't believe myself!" Collins banged his fist down on the table angrily, the alcohol finally taking its affect. "Give me another one!"

[Benjamin Coffin III]

Benny stopped the bartender in mid-pour. "No, don't! He doesn't need any more!" Collins'd likely hit him or something, but he wasn't going to let his friend drink himself to death!

Joe frowned. "Look, buddy, I'm not gonna argue with the man if he wants to buy another."

Benny yanked out his wallet and took out a twenty. "Here. Don't give him any more." Joe shrugged, took the money, and went back to cleaning glasses.

He turned back to Collins, ignoring the fact that the anarchist probably hated him; then again, since when was that new? "Listen, Collins; I don't know her that well, but even I can tell Angel loves you. She knows you well enough to know you love her too. And she knows that getting wasted can make a person do stupid things." He gestured to the glasses, wondering even as he continued where all this advice was spawning from all of a sudden. "She'd be a lot madder for you winding up in the hospital from too much alcohol than you kissing someone when you were totally wasted." He was making an awful lot of assumptions, and he knew it, but from what Mimi had told him about Angel, he figured he was at least close to being right.

[Tom Collins]

Collins frowned as Benny stopped the bartender, then closed his eyes and turned away as the man began to lecture him on Angel's love. He knew Benny was right, but he had absolutely no right at all to suddenly come bursting in on Collins' life and insist he knew everything; which was what it seemed like to Collins.

"You don't think she told me all that already? It's my fucking fault - I was the one who made the mistake. I ought to pay for it in someway! That girl is too damn forgiving!" Collins moaned, burying his head in his hands.

[Benjamin Coffin III]

Benny sensed he had crossed a line at some point, and he could see why; he kind of came barging in on Collins and probably sounded like he thought he knew everything. Since Collins already hated him and he'd already crossed the line, he figured it couldn't hurt to keep going.

"Collins! For a genius, you can be really stupid sometimes! If she told you it already, maybe you should listen! And if you must pay for it, buy her a necklace or something, don't drink until you drop! Getting yourself sick will hurt her more, don't you see?"

He stopped himself, realizing he'd gone into a sort of tirade and feeling very out of line. He was only trying to help his friend, but he was probably just making him mad. Pulling up his composed shell, which he usually only used when Mr. Grey was around, he continued in a much calmer voice, "I know I don't know much-- well, okay, anything-- about you guys' lives," Even though I wish that weren't true "But anyone with half a brain could see this is /not/ the solution."

[Tom Collins]

As angry as Collins was, he listened to Benny anyways. With a sigh, Collins looked away as Benny ended his little speech. He played with one of the empty glasses in front of him, trying to put the words flying through his head in order, so that he could respond.

"Why... why are you always right?" Collins muttered, still not looking at Benny. He narrowed his eyes and continued. "You were right about going to Brown, you were right about moving out and about marrying Muffy... I mean, look at you! You're rich! A complete bastard, but rich nonetheless. And not broken and nearly suicidal, like me." Okay. Maybe suicide was pushing it a bit too far, but Collins was drunk, after all.

[Benjamin Coffin III]

"Allison!" Benny insisted. He hated when his friends called her Muffy; it made her sound like some pretentious stuck up bitch... which they probably thought was true. But she wasn't!

He waited until Collins finished, his composed shell falling away. He let out a sarcastic laugh. "Always right? If only." He leaned on the counter, shoulders drooping, refusing to meet Collins' eyes. "And being rich came at a cost, you know." Like, all his friends. And his free will. How was that for a rip-off?

[Tom Collins]

Collins rolled his eyes and slumped further over the bar as Benny spoke. "Yes, you're always right. Of course you're always right. Wait - no, you were wrong when you thought it was okay to cheat on your wife with Mimi. But that's it. Oh, and when you thought it was okay to totally abandon our friendship. But other than that... you're always right, man. How could you not be, and now be so well off?" Collins paused as Benny spoke again. "Oh? What cost?"

[Benjamin Coffin III]

"What do you think, Collins?" Benny asked rhetorically, getting more dejected by the second. "It cost me you guys, you dolt." He turned to the professor. "I never meant to abandon anything! But between Allison's father pushing me to break off connections with you and you all calling me a yuppie every chance you got, I didn't really have much of a choice."

He leaned on the counter again, continuing in a mutter, "Sure, I've got money. Whoop-de-frickety-doo. I can't DO anything with it, anyway." He looked at Collins, but didn't turn from leaning on the counter. "Count yourself lucky, Collins. The woman you love didn't come with strings attached." Wow. Now he felt like Roger. Talk about your angsting. But he couldn't resist one last statement: "If you think my life is perfect, you are sadly mistaken."

[Tom Collins]

"You didn't want to break away from us? Give me a fucking break, man. You told Roger and Mark they were golden. You were such a fucking sweetheart, showing up on their doorstep and asking for money like you did. You deserved being called yuppie scum," Collins practically spat out the last two words - he was getting really angry.

"What do you mean you can't do anything with your money? It's your money, you dumbass! How many days have you gone without food because you couldn't afford it? How many days have you spent huddled in a corner, shivering cold, becuase the heat in your home was turned off by your former best friend?" Collins growled furiously.

"And you say Angel didn't come with strings attached? Damn it Benny, she has AIDS! I have AIDS! Either one of us could die within the year! It's not as easy as you think, you know. I watch her as she's sleeping sometimes, so peaceful, that gorgeous smile on her face, and I can't help but wonder how much longer I'll be able to see her like that. Looking so healthy, so beautiful..." Collins choked on his words as tears stung the corners of his eyes.

[Benjamin Coffin III]

Benny nearly smacked himself once he realized what he'd said regarding Angel. "I-- I didn't mean-- Oh God..." He knocked his head into the bar a couple of times, getting his thoughts straightened out again. "I know." He choked up a little, like he always did thinking about his old friends dying. "Don't you think I know that?"

He clenched his fist. "And it's not my money. Not really. It's Mr. Grey's money. I just get to pretend it's mine." He turned to look at Collins again, not quite able to meet the other's eyes. "Technically, it's mine, but if I don't do what HE wants me to do with it, then he'll take Allison away. And I love her, Collins. I can't let her go. If it were my choice, you guys /would/ be golden. But it's not."

His little speech trailed off, and Benny couldn't help but wonder; did going back on his promise, even if it wasn't really his fault, make him scum? If so, maybe he deserved being called yuppie scum by his friends.

[Tom Collins]

"Ben... damn, I can't believe I'm saying this... but I guess it's not completely your fault." Collins straightened up and looked towards his old friend, his gaze softening a tad. "You really love Allison? I mean, because if you do, I could understand where you're coming from much better, I think." He paused. "You should meet Angel. She loves everyone," he chuckled. "I'm sure she'd love you, no matter what you did. And make me love you again, too... and she'd make everyone else do the same. She's quite the character," he smiled fondly.