Personal
Dear Dear Diary I want to tell my secrets, because you're the only one that I'll know who'll keep them. ((Dear Diary by Pink))

Its so true. The only one I feel I can talk to is Ianto...but I won't. I guess it's because he's quiet and reserved and private. i trust him more than the others. Owen wouldn't listen - to emotional for him. He doesn't like sentementality and ''girfly stuff'. Sometimes I wish I knew him before his fiance died. I was only told to explain his obnoxious behaviour. In the beginning he had been anti-social and rude.

I can't talk to Gwen either. Although she's extremely empathic she is quite judgemental at times. She's very vocal about her beliefs. I can't help feeling that she'd keep trying to help until I snapped. I do like Gwen. Her determination and humaity makes her very valuable but sometimes her method of learning the truth leaves everyone else cut and bleeding. Still her method proves to be quite powerful and effective. She needs to learn subtlety. I could speak with her more comfortabley then.

And Jack. I owe Jack so much already I don't want to burden him with more. He's darker again too. I can see it. Before Grey he had been lighter, happier. I couldn't begrudge him anything. I worry for him.

I worry for Ianto. I sense a strain between both he nad Jack. I get the feeling - although I could be wrong - that Ianto cares a bit more about Jack than he does Ianto. But then, he's so old now, he's lost so many. Its understandable if he can't give that much of himself up anymore. He must be so tired. I want to offer then my ear but I don't know how. I don't want to intrude. I can't help that I see things. That people forget I'm there.

Perhaps Gwen's lack of hesistence, the desire to help is what I need but I can't talk to her. not any of them. Not this time. We're all so broken this time and we're trying to go forwards but can we? Shouldn't I tell someone that tthat I can't look at the autopsy bay anymore? Shouldn't I tell someone that I don't feel safe anymore? I used to feel safe in the Hub, even after Mary tried to kill me in it. I don't fee lsafe anymore. Should I tell them what little confidence I gained is crumbling away? The Doctor betrayed us. How can we fight two Time Lords?