* This is my first try and making an RP so any and all constructive critisim is welcomed *

Character Name: James Mason

Character Stats:

Strength: 6 Mason is not a weakling by any means but when compared to some of the brutes found throughout the Wastes he doesn't match up well. He can hold himself in a fight but he has a small body. He is about average height but he is build slightly lanky and doesn't look very imposing, this is one of the factors that make him such a strange and mysterious wanderer to most of the people he encounters.

Perception: 4 Mason is a smart person but he rarely uses his head. He never thinks things through in advance and prepares little. Everyone who has gotten close to Mason will tell you that he lacks patience and he sees things in black and white. Each person he encounters is either good or evil and never ventures beyond in his eyes. This also may be due to the fact that morally grey characters are found few and far between in this country.

Endurance: 5 Mason's endurance is very similar to his strength, it isn't his strong area but he is often underestimated. He often travels light so he never really tests his endurance and as a result he doesn't know just how far he can go.

Charisma: 7 Mason's has spent several years wandering and working caravans in the Texas land that is west of Bucket Town. Out "There", there is far fewer people to interact with and he finds himself alone often. Nonetheless his interactions with those he have met have always left them with a certain feeling. Almost like they knew Mason could be going places, and big places at that.

Intelligence: 7 Mason who is slightly quiet never really cared for his "smarts". His lack of an ability to use much common sense rubs people the wrong way and makes them think he isn't the brightest person ever. But when he sits back and thinks things through it becomes fairly obvious that he has a lot of potential. Another thing that people could tell you is he has an amazing memory, which most people think may be a curse with all the things he may have seen.

Agility: 7 Mason is a potent sprinter and is quick on his feet. He has a great sense of balance and could be described as athletic. He has a very high reaction time and is nearly impossible to get the first blow off in a duel with him. He is surprisingly quick in combat and has become known as a great shot to quite a few wanders of the wastes.

Luck: 4 Mason comes up short in the luck category he often is slipping at unfortunate times and rarely finds the best things to scavenge. He blames his luck, which he should.

Character Race: Human (Caucasian)

Approx. age:(17)

Character Personality: James looks to help certain people he finds in the Wasteland. He judges other people before volunteering to help and if he thinks that they don’t deserve his help then he simply will let them rot. His upbringing constantly conflicts with his desires and he often finds himself at a moral crossroads. Rather than simply give up attempting to be a saint, he finds that he must make very difficult choices. He also somehow can't be evil and is constantly questioning himself and the things he does.

Despite the fact that he doesn't see other people beyond stereotypical good and evil monikers, he can best be described as a grey person. He had been brought up for several years in West Texas, in a restored church that served as a group of priests’ base of operations. Here he learned a code that keeps his anger in check and despite the fact he doesn't believe religion itself he has a respect for a force that is "out there".

Character Appearance: James Mason is roughly 5'9 and 195 lbs. He has a medium sized head with a short crop of hair he keeps in check with his trusty switchblade. It is always roughly cut and gives the idea of a greaser who tried to give him a nice haircut. His face is dark and slightly detached, never showing too much emotion or motivation but somehow giving the appearance that he is also a person who can really enjoy himself.

He has a small forehead with a small amount of his hair coming over the top of. His eyes are the one bright spot of his face and constantly light up with a blue fire, even when it seems like the rest of his face doesn't care much. His nose is perfectly centered in the middle of his face along with his mouth that stretches off below it and is always ready to slip into a soulless yet somewhat charming smile. Most people he meets say he comes off as rugged, but in a strange, mysterious, and alluring way.

He has a muscled body and exercises often to keep in top physical shape. His isn't a big man so he needs as many advantages as he can get. He has long arms that give him great reach in a fist fight. He has been heavily tanned by his time in the desert and wishes for some time to take a load off.

Starting equipment:
Weapons: 1x Rudimentary Revolver (11 .32 Rounds, 1 .32 Armor Piercing Round), 1x Short Switchblade
Armor: Dessert Clothing ( A light shirt made of various materials, tan colored pants made of stitched cloth, and worn down scavenged shoes) Aid: Jet (2); Dirty Water(In a worn yet reusable bottle)

Character story: James doesn’t remember anything from before he was five years old. He has faint memories of a man and a woman who may be his father and mother. His first clear memories are of The Church of the Forgotten, where a group of distraught wastelanders found bibles and God’s influence. It was here where he spent hours every day learning of religion and its importance to the Brotherhood. During this time he learned how to both read a write which is not a common perk to have among the wastes. He developed several anger issues and he constantly fought with the beliefs of The Church, before he finally left and joined a traveling merchant.

The merchant named Randal Torrance took him in and gave him a “wasteland education”. Torrance spent several years teaching him various survivals methods such as hunting to earn skins, food, and other supplies, while also being able to scavenge and sell things to earn any kind of currency. Torrance’s style left James with an influence to be isolated or have few people around him, which is how he originally dreamed his life would be like.

That all changed with the early and unplanned death of Randal Torrance when James was only 14. Despite how honest and helpful a person Torrance was, he had a problem. A drug problem to be exact, he often used a lot of Jet and that would be his ultimate downfall. After this event James started doubting drugs and if they are positive at all, he carries the remains of the Jet that Torrance had possessed to this day, thinking he could possibly barter it for something.

After this event he continued east because he heard rumors of a settlement called Bucket Town. Surprisingly he took his time to travel there; mainly he worked among caravans as a guard using what equipment he could. He worked his way across central Texas visiting several small barely inhabited settlements until he began working his way toward Bucket Town.

James, who was now sixteen, discovered a group of Raiders about a hundred miles northwest of Bucket Town; here he had a vicious encounter with them that created an immediate distrust of most people he met. Later that same year he found a man living in an abandoned ghost town saloon. There he found a simple revolver and learned that he is actually a good shot. He spent a lot of time working there and with the help of the stranger he became very talented. James left after the stranger suffered death from old age and died peacefully in the saloon with a drink in his hand. The town’s location isn’t known despite heavy scavenging in the surrounding area.

James found a settlement that consisted of a few homes and a saloon. The town mainly was used as a rest stop for the local caravans; here he helped to sustain the drug habit of the local bartender who acted as the leader of the tiny community. After using up most of Randal Torrance’s drug supply the man himself had an overdose and with it an early death. James, who felt amazing guilt over the man’s death, began hating drugs after gaining a full understanding of them. He had spent so much time traveling lonely and away from chem addicts that populated much of the wasteland, during this time he had few if any interactions with chems. He eventually gave back most of the currency he had acquired for the drugs, this and the fact that he didn’t believe in selling the drugs anymore left him without any way to make money.

James decided he needed some new scenery; he decided to make his way directly to Bucket Town at that time. Just as he turned seventeen he encountered a traveler who said he was maybe a day away from the settlement. He settled in to rest that night just as the sun began to set over the desert.



Character strengths and weaknesses: James is a very smart person, and he also can read and write decently. He prides himself in that ability the most despite being well at several other things. He is a very good shot with most slow firing weapons, and always will take pride in that fact. He has a decent way with words but he is very humorous, and all the things he has seen in the wastes allow him to joke about almost everything, even in bad taste.


James is not very aware, that is easily his biggest downfall. He rarely will think long term when doing something and this comes back to bite him. To the average onlooker his hatred of chems and other drugs is a waste of life, time, and words. In the attempts that he has made at using complicated weapons, he has had no luck at all using automatic style weapons and right now it doesn’t look like it will get all that much better. He never has considered himself a very lucky person, and his time on earth so far hasn’t made him very happy or shown that he could be. He is a relative nobody right now, and feels like he needs more influence to be respected.




Up to three Traits: Revolving Killer, Sex Appeal

It all seems technically solid to me, and you've managed to navigate lengths and equipment well. You SPECIAL adds up, your weaknesses balance out, and it really all seems to check out. However, before passing, I would suggest you go ahead and read through it again.

In your story at least, you fall into some problems, switching tenses and generally making the story choppy and taking away flow. Try to cut out redundant/useless words and keep your tense consistant. I would also, if you don't mind, suggest putting spaces between different paragraphs. It makes it far easier, and more enjoyable, to read in this format.

You'll be passed in no time if you manage to fix those few errors, and then you can be onto the good stuff.

I tried to write it very quickly and in Wordpad my paragraph's were spaced so I figured it would be like that here but I'll get to working on it.