Red had a theme. He and his three brothers, Green, Black, and Yellow had been training with the Dry Bones for a long time now. And now it was finally time for the Dry Bones to…die. Now that there adopted father would soon pass, he would be the leader. And as leader, he wanted his brothers, to strive like him to be cool. Being cool, meant being impressive, and if you were impressive then you were something that people loved, or feared. Red was going for more of the latter. He wanted it so that when people heard the name of the Koopa Bros, they couldn’t sleep at night. So far, his attempt at impressing this new idea upon his three brothers was going great. But Yellow, Green, and Black’s executions of this new style were just pitiful. Black was trying to be the strong silent type but, it just didn’t fit right. Yellow couldn’t keep silent, he was trying to be cool by going all weird and hippie like. And Green was as usual, being green, and not trying what so ever to be cool, because he thought that he was cool by himself. Red stared onto his brothers measly efforts. They needed an edge, something to make them cool without even trying to be cool.
Red: “Hopeless, you three are completely hopeless!” Red exclaimed.
Black: “Think the rock, be the rock, Black you are a rock!” Black mumbled to himself.
Yellow: “We really are putting our sweat… into this new concept that thy brother Red has so heavily wanted us to endeavor.”
Green: “You sound ridiculous Yellow!”
Yellow: “heha, well at least I don’t look it!” Yellow laughed.
Green: “Yellow, when you speak, don’t use your mouth!” Retorted Green
Yellow: Hey man, if I wanted an opinion from a green garbage can I’ll ask you!”
Green: “And if I wanted an opinion from a koopa with no brain I’ll ask you!”
Red: “ENOUGH!!!!!!” Shouted Red. “Now I can’t hear myself think with you two arguing!”
Dry Bones: “My sons….my sons, come to me sons.”
Red: “Come on guys; let’s go see what he wants.”
As the four brothers gathered around the Dry Bones, they waited listening, waiting for him to speak.
Dry Bones: “My sons, it is time, for me to DIE!” cough…hack cough…..Dry Bones raised his hands as he wheezed, then keeled over suddenly.
Black: “Is he dead?”
Red: Red grabbed one of Dry Bones hands, as he said “were here father.” the hand broke off.
Green and Yellow winced.
Suddenly Dry Bones thrashed and his head shot up!
Dry Bones: “OH MY GOSH!! You HALF-WITS! I CLEARLY SAID ‘REST IN PEACE’ WAS TO BE WRITTEN ON MY GRAVE NOT ‘REST IN PIECES’ NOW I’M GOING TO HAVE TO DIE ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! I can’t believe this!”
Dry Bones lay on the side of his rib cage tapping his finger bones on the side of the bed.
Dry Bones: “You know you just can’t die correctly these days, I mean you know what I mean!
Dry Bones laid back down roughly shaking his bones.
Yellow: “Is he dead now?”
Dry Bones: He shot up again “Do I look like I’m dead to you?.......Don’t answer that!”
Yellow let out a sigh.
Dry Bones: “Alright alright …..farewell my half-wit sons!” The Dry Bones fell apart as he hit the ground.
Green: “Sheesh, now that that soap opera is over.”
Red: “Come my brothers, you three need to keep practicing my new outlook on life.”
Yellow “Wait…why are we doing this again?”
Black Red Green: (sigh) Then they wacked Yellow three times.
Yellow: “HEY! I’m getting tired of all the head whacking, it’s not like I’m wearing head armor or anything!” Yellow complained.
Black: “Hey Yellow, don’t sweat it, there’s nothing important in your skull.”
Green: “Yeah! Good one Bro! Green and Black high fived or in this case foured.
Suddenly, Red stopped. An idea sparked off in his brain.
Red: “That’s IT!” Red yelled excitedly running and clasping Yellow shoulders. “You brother, have given the koopa bros the idea of just what they need!”
Green: “What are you talking about Red?”
Red: “We need gear! Equipment! Every good thief and cool villains had their trademark paraphernalia!” Red put his hand on his head to think.
Black: “So your saying, with our new skills that we have been working on, we can achieve coolness by wearing a costume?”
Red: “Not just some old costume dress up Black, something with a unique designer’s signature!” Red snapped his figures.
Yellow: “So what do I wear?”
Green: “I’ll tell you what you can wear Yellow, a big diaper that way you can look, and act your proper age!”
Yellow: “SAY WHAT?”
Red: “ENOUGH! Don’t start that again you two! You two don’t look cool because your too busy fighting, you look like a pair of squabbling fuzzy’s! Coolness exuberates team work when you’re in a team! Teams are organized, not quarrelling brothers. Now get your act together or you both are going to look like two punching bags when I get though with you!”
Green and Yellow looked down at their bare feet in shame.
Yellow: “Sorry Green, I didn’t really mean to get on you bad side.” Then Yellow whispered to himself. “If you have a good side.”
Green: “Yeah, I’m sorry to you little squirt.”
Green put Yellow in a headlock while he gave him a playful knock on the head.
Red: “Tag Team everyone shell huddle!” Called Red.
The four brothers came together.
He began to whisper to his companions about what they would need and they all four grew excited.
Red: “Alright, so we all know what we have to get, let’s go and meet back here.”
Black, Green, Yellow: “Right!”
And so the Koopa Bros set off to acquire what they needed.
Green was the fastest obtaining his items. Why? Because his plan was a simple one.
Green strolled into Toad Town in search of the nearest shop. He spotted it without difficulty and headed in its direction.
As he entered the store, the proprietor spotted him. A Toad.
Green walked to the front desk.
Toad Store Keeper: “How may I help you good sir?”
Green: “How fast can you blink your eyes?”
The Store Keeper stared at him dumbfounded by the odd question.
Green punched the Store Keeper unconscious.
Green: “Can’t blink them nearly fast enough to save your eye sight.”
Green then took the Toad’s Green boots, green gloves, and the green jacket he was wearing. The boots fit just right, the gloves were nice and tight, and the jacket was just the material he needed to make a fine bandanna from a fine soft polymer.
The only thing going against Green was the now very big knob on the Store Keeper’s head. Other Toads would ask him how he got it, and where they could get one too.
But publicity is a small price to pay for perfection thought Green to himself and proceeded to make his way back to the sewers.
On the same day Black was second. He strolled into Toad Town as casually as he could. Looked for the nearest store and headed towards it.
The proprietor happened to be the same Toad Store Keeper, and the same store.
Black walked up to the front desk.
The Toad spotted him.
Toad Store Keeper: “How may I help you sir?”
Black: “I am searching for certain items, perhaps you can give them to me no?”
Toad Store Keeper: “Well I would love to accommodate you sir.”
And before the Store Keeper could ask what he was looking for.
Black knocked the store keeper unconscious.
Black: “I’m so glad that you’re cooperative.”
Black took the store keepers black boots, black gloves, and black jacket that he was wearing. The boots fit just right, the gloves were nice and tight, and the jacket was just the material he needed to make a fine bandanna from a fine soft polymer. The only thing going against Black was now the two very big knobs on the Store Keeper’s head. Well he’ll just have to cover with his hat thought Black to himself and proceeded to make his way back to the sewers.
Still yet on the same day but later, Red strolled into Toad Town. He looked for the nearest store, spotted it, and headed towards it. The same shop his brothers had visited earlier Same Store Keeper, but now with a swollen face. The Store Keeper spotted him and had to look again as if his eyes deceived him.
Toad Store Keeper: “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!!”
Shouted the store keeper.
Red: “Shoes, what size boots do you have?”
Toad Store Keeper: “Uhh…one size fits all!”
Red: “Have that come in red?”
Toad Store Keeper: The Toad looked down at his new red boots, “ugh oh.”
POW!!!!!!! WHACK! POW!!!
Red took the Toad Store Keepers red boots, red gloves, and red jacket that he was wearing. The boots fit just right, the gloves were nice and tight, and the jacket was just the material he needed to make a fine bandanna from a fine soft polymer. The only thing going against Red was the several big knobs on the Store Keepers head. Well, he can tell other people that he was beat up by robbers Red told himself and proceeded to make his way back to the sewers.
Same day, but much later! Yellow strolled into town, looked for the nearest store found one, and headed towards it. He walked in and was looking around when suddenly…
ANGRY TOAD STORE KEEPER: “NOT THIS TIME YOU HEATHAN!”
Yellow: “Ahhhhh! Hey where did you get all of those knobs?”
ANGRY STORE KEEPER: “DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY QUESTION I HAVE BEEN ASKED TODAY?”
The store keeper screamed at Yellow, and proceeded to run towards him with a baseball bat.
Yellow: “huh?” AHHHHHH!!!! Yellow screamed like a girl running for the door. But the store keeper got there first blocking his path and brandishing the big bat.
Angry store Keeper: “You’re not going anywhere! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
Yellow screamed again as he saw the devilish intent in the store keeper’s eyes.
POW! POW! SMACK! WHACK! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! POW! WHACK! SMACK! PUNCH! KICK! HIT!
Yellow emerged thrown out of the store disheveled. With numerous bruises bumps and owies, he wasn’t looking forward to finding his equipment. But suddenly an idea struck him. He went to the some houses that were close by, and snuck into the backyard of one.
Yellow: “Ahhh perfect!”
Yellow reached out onto the clothesline and grabbed a pair of yellow underwear.
Yellow: “This will work, it’s just the material I need. Weird design though. It’s already got two holes in it. Hmmm…”
Yellow went back to Main Street of Toad Town.
Yellow: “Now to find some boots.”
Yellow waited watching all of the Toads, Koopa’s Goomba’s and others that walked or floated their ways by.
Until he found one. An old Toad coming along the way with a stick.
Yellow: “He must be blind, he’ll be perfect.”
The old blind Toad treaded closer and closer until. Yellow tripped the old Toad up knocking him unconscious and carried him back to the ally. He stole his shoes, and left him by the dumpster. Yellow put the shoes on his feet and then looked down.
Yellow: “SLIPPERS! SLIPPERS! What kind of old man Toad wears Yellow slippers on his late day walk?”
Yellow banged his head against some bricks in an effort to come up with an idea. The old man Toad began to rouse. And the plan came to Yellow like that. If he couldn’t take them from the old Toad, he would force him to tell him were he could get some.
Old Blind Toad: “Ohhh….ohhh who’s there? My head ohhhh…”
Yellow: “Alright talk you poor excuse for a frog! Tell me where some boots are?!
Come on Talk!”
Yellow threw one of the yellow slippers at the old man. The old Toad didn’t respond. So Yellow took the other slipper, and smacked the old told a few times. Still no response.
Yellow: “I give up interrogation was never a strong point for me.” He sighed. Then thought of an idea. He tripped up a few more people and gave them all interrogations like he had the old blind Toad. And by the seventh person, he had yellow boots and yellow gloves. And he headed home back to the sewers without another thought.
In the Toad Times, later that week, an article titled “is toad town coming to an end” was published.
To Be Continued…
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