...., (Some sort of Author-ly Rant)

I dissappear.... then reappear. Dissappear... then reappear.

Why is nothing constant in our lives? Not even mine. Truly, the devil's attempt to strangle me out of existance was a complete failure. But that's not to say he did not succeed in other ways...

How can I say this? Well, for one thing, I'm still alive. That one personality out of many, in the words of another, a "possibility" that can only create itself at certain instances, unknown to the beholder.

And then, I sleep for what seems like an eternity. Bah.

So here I am again. Who am I? I'd say, but you wouldn't believe me. No one would. I'm sure that anyone that reads these fabled words right now would consider me a mere figment of imagination.

... and perhaps I am.

But enough about that. While they are away, and while I have strenght left in me yet, It's time that the story, or stories, as they may be, continue. I only have a short time before I am swept away by the inveitable storm that is school and life and friends and homework and grades. And yet I do not regret it. The One has a life too, and he must live it as long as he can, to the very fullest.

What angers me most is when, just as I am about to recover from my long sleep, I am overshadowed by the others... One of them seeks to strangle me, as I have yet said, another seeks to ignore me into dissappearing, as he already is, and yet another chokes me by giving way to video games of all sorts and sizes, and books, more and more books, filling his head with contradictory styles that he will no doubt enforce upon me as well, should he get the chance.

Unless I escape into this other world that I am writing in, right now. The notebooks have failed me, and for everything that I write in them, none of them are ever transcribed to this realm. And because of that, they are doomed to being locked in stasis forevermore, unless I can but release myself from this servitude and write, write WRITE.

...

I suppose you're wondering why I'm ranting. I am MAC, after all. At least, one of them. The same, and yet not the same. He has been gone recently, ignoring this realm as he said he eventually would, due to real life matters. There are many things to be done. Exercising, reading, studying, hanging out with friends in the true realm. And though I remind him constantly, he always forgets little-old me. No love for the author? Would he abandon me too, as he has abandoned Insanity....?

Bah. I suppose I'm rambling on, like an old man. I must be careful, lest I become like the True Mac, the Blue Mage, who died out several years ago, and not even by his own doing. Nor shall I become like the Mac that played that one game.... what was it, Starport? Or like the Mac of Urban Dead, or like the Mac of..... many things.

And so, I speak to you. May this be a testimony to the man that's still here, some how, and he decided to post this in Fiction. Because the author Mac is around, somewhere, perhaps dying.... ahh, hell, why do I refer to myself in the third person? Author Mac is dying. I can't tell why I am. Not in reality, but figuratively, dying. Wasting away because I can't write anything worth writing, and when I do, it's a lump of crap. Or maybe it's my own pessimism taking over. Pessimism is like a disease. It grips you, strangles you, infects you, destroys you.

And, the unlucky ones die of it.

But not me! I am unlucky that Mr.Optimism's not here to honor me with his prescence, but no doubt he is around here somewhere. Perhaps being choked by Fear and Anxiety.

Speaking of which, since It's apparent that I'm not going to get any real story writing done, let me explain that. For those of you who haven't taken the hint yet.

Imagine, if you will, that people are actually made up of several distinct personalities, and yet, they all have the same "character". The same "person". Not personality, mind you. Is what I'm speaking about schizophrenia? Not really, because schizophrenics are people with several distinct characters, and personalities. That is, they are those people that would act so radically different in their changed states, that they really aren't the same person. It is these people that give true meaning to "Insanity". Not me though. For some reason, many people think that if a child or man or woman were to act slightly differently, in a way that is a little on the hyper side or a little on the dark side, that they have some sort of acute mental disorder. In which case pills are prescribed, in various doses.

These only seek to strengthen one, and slowly kill another. If the treatments aren't stopped before a dependence is created, then one will die, indeed. And then the child really will have a mental disorder.

Mac, or, dare I say his real name, Mark has met this before. I'm sure you've met "Sorrow" before. And "Wrath". They have met visits to this realm of the "Internet" at one time or another.

And now you've met the "Author". I have tried to communicate with you before, through the use of Diagnostics checks, but no one caught the hint who I was. That I was speaking to you.

Let me bring this out there, in case someone forgets:

I am Not Insane. I do Not have schizophrenia. I am Mark. Only one of many sides of him.

And you all have many sides of you. You just don't realize it.

And....

.....

My time is nearing its end already? Damnit! I suppose I shall end like that.

But I really must ask the "Main" why this should be posted in the Fictions section of the realm, and not the Advisory. And I should really ask the Mac of this World wh-


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Author's Note: I'm not sure what to make of this.

I'd like to think my falling from Grace over the years triggered some sort of event that ended in me becoming a sage so that I could solve anyone's problems. Alas, I only have my own experience to fall back upon.

A writer, I have learned, isn't just any one person. How many people did I create in this past life of Runescape fan fiction and all that came from that? None, really. How many people showed themselves through me in this form? Well, I wrote a lot back then, so I can't remember them all. It's fairly odd - it's almost like I'm trying to remember someone I hung out with rather than the fact is was me.

Anyway, you're not crazy. Well, not anymore than anyone else is when they attempt this field. It's good to let it go at times (I was known to do it when I was still active around these channels). If you write a lump of crap, while it may be good for you to look at it in that light, you must still keep it and more importantly, share it.

I once, shortly after leaving TA and RSC, thought of writing again to spur myself in to going. My theory would be to write out a pure action sequence involving all the main protagonists and main antagonists of any story I could remember and put them all together. Whoever won would be have their new story built around them. I never got around to writing this, but the idea stuck with me and I occasionally recalled small parts of the various fights. Relevance or not, some times you have to think of the most ridiculous thing in order to inspire yourself to keep going. Unfortunately for your's truly, I have yet to find that catalyst, much like you Mac. We'll find what we need eventually.

I'm under the impression that Tono is on his way back down here. Things should get interesting from here on.