'Punished', 3.4 - Season 3, Episode 4

ONE DAY AGO . . .

They say there are moments in life when you make a decision that changes everything, ones where your life will never be the same.

A person may only have one or two their whole life, be it to change home or leave their partner. But the place you end up as a result of that choice is clear, like a flare in the night sky. For Blas Vivar, he could clearly recall the decision that had got him in his current situation.

Since it was more than likely going to be what got him killed.

Not that he was going to wait around for that, of course. Hence why he was tearing long the corridors, barely able to see where he was going in the black before him. Not that he cared. He needed to keep moving, keep running.

Running from it….........

His life before coming here seemed like a different world now, one that had been torn away by this nightmare of violence and death. The last few months had been slow ones. Vivar had run out of tricks and for him, that meant the money had stopped rolling in.

It wasn’t for lack of trying either.

Blas Vivar had gotten his nose involved in almost every shady side of the underworld he could. Weapon smuggling, slave labour, data theft – you name it and he had done it. If it turned a tidy profit then he would get in there. But profit had been a rare thing of late, the deals just weren’t coming in no matter his persistence.

Things were getting so bad that he didn’t even have enough to pay his two bodyguards. That was a fancy term for the two hired thugs he carted around with him, to keep off any unsavoury characters. Being such a character himself, Vivar knew plenty of them and plenty of them wished him harm.

Ironically, his two heavies would also feel the same if they knew he had nothing to pay them. He already owed them two months months, which had been held up in his accounts due to an ‘error in sub space relays’. It was a lie but one they believed. Their patience would only go so far though and would be exhausted when they realised there was so cash coming at all.

So that’s why he had dragged them here, as soon as he had heard the rumours.

God, how he wished he had ignored them now. The stories were all over Avalon. Wild rumours of a whole fleet of advanced alien ships that had appeared out of nowhere, somewhere in the sector. Just dumped, floating aimlessly in space. Immediately Vivar saw his salvation. If he could raid those ships, strip them of their advanced tech and sell them on the black market…….well, his money troubles would be a thing of the past.

It was perfect. A miracle had dropped into his lap. There were only two problems – where was this fleet ripe for picking and how to get inside. Inside? Yes, that was the one thing that kept so many people away in the first place.

The fleet of ships was whispered to be encased in some kind of shield, just as sophisticated as the ships it was locking away. To try and get past it was difficult, not to mention dangerous. But Vivar had done it. By just as much luck as skill, he had slipped past and before him laid a whole treasure trove of alien ships.

He should have turned his ship around then. Turned it around and got the hell out of there. But no, he had pressed on. And then the nightmare had begun. His first bodyguard had died with the kind of scream you would never forgot. The kind that would haunt your dreams forever. Vivar had never seen the man express any kind of emotion, let alone a scream.

He never saw what got him either. It was dark and he was too far away. But only a few moment of stepping on the first ship, something or someone had got him. His second and final hired thug went the same way. A scream in the dark, this time a frantic struggle and – this was the worst part – hearing him beg, pleading for his life.

It didn’t work.

Vivar was left there in the darkness, alone with nothing but his frantic breathing for company. His senses were so alert, everything heightened from the fear. So he heard the movement next to him quickly, something right next to one of the walls. No, not next to the wall…

“My God….” Vivar gasped in horror as he saw it. It had killed his two men and was going to add him to make a trio.

Luck again played its hand and he moved fast enough to avoid the horror before him. He stumbled, which actually helped since it couldn’t grasp him. He didn’t even want to think about that. The thought of that thing touching him made his legs go weak and he needed them to move now. So he had started running, aimlessly through the corridors to try and put some distance between him and…….that thing.


“Help!!” He called, not really knowing who he was shouting too. “Help me!”

And then the four figures beamed in. They formed in a shower of light as they were transported before Vivar like angels, sent to liberate him from this awful place. But then he saw who his ‘saviours’ were, four people he knew all too well.

“Please no….” Vivar pleaded to the universe and its rather sick sense of humour. “Oh please no….not them…..”

It was like a sick joke and he had to wonder if this was actually all some dream. The kind were ridiculous events just happen, piled on by the mind without rhyme or reason. It had to be, it just had too. It could only explain why these four stood before him.

Sabor, the master swordsman.

Blass, the sharp shooting monk.

Vox, telepathic martial artist.

Primar, ferocious beast man.

Together they were the Marauders. It said a lot that the most ruthless bounty hunters of D4-677 were like celebrities, so well known given how good they were at their profession. And their profession didn’t involve beaming in to save people, which left Vivar just that little bit screwed.

“Consider this fleet taken,” Blass said calmly, through his cloaked face. He pulled out a blasted so quickly it was a blur. It was pointed at Vivar’s head in a flash. “Property of the Marauders.”

“P-please….” Vivar pleaded, tears now streaking down his face. “Y-you can have the ships….just let me go….get me out of here. There’s s-something on this ship. It killed my two men and now its after me!”

The Marauders just laughed among themselves. There was no pity, no compassion. Blass spoke once more as the others just looked on, rather amused by it all now. “Someone’s after you? Don’t worry, they wont get you. I promise.”

He pulled the trigger and the blaster fired. Vivar dropped to the floor, along with what was left of his head. Blass returned the still warm blaster to its holster. “I wonder if they’ll be any more like him. I thought we were the only one who got through the shield.”

“We’ll do a search,” Vox replied. She glanced at Primar with what was practically disdain. “Get that slobbering brute to start using those enhanced senses of his. I’ll do a telepathic scan and………….and………..”

Vox went white, her mouth dropping.

Sabor stepped forward, his hand close to his sword. He was always ready – and eager – to unleash them. “What is it? Whats wrong?” No reply. Vox was stood there like a statue. “Damn it woman, I asked you a question!”

When she did finally answer, her words were distance and faint. “He….he was right. There is something here. I can sense them…..all of them. Its….Oh God…….” She was shaking her head now. “We have to go, we have to get out of here.”

“Go?” Sabor could hardly believe what he was hearing. “We’ve got a job to do here. We aren’t going anywhe-“

“Too late.” Vox interrupted with a dread certainty. “Their here. They’ve found us.”

Vox saw them first, coming out of the dark. She had kept a mental note of every person she had ever killed – currently, she was up to two hundred and four – and not once had she ever been fearful.

There were those that called her the greatest martial artist in known space and if she was honest, she believed this to be utterly true without a shadow of doubt. Every time she went into battle, she knew she would be the one walking away alive.

No doubt, no fear. So she was even a little surprised at herself when he mouth dropped, her lips parted wide and a blood curdling scream erupted from her lungs.

Little did she know it would be the first of many on this day………..

“Captains Log Stardate 43524.6 – This is my third attempt at recording this log, so forgive me if I sound a little irritable. The Liberator is currently undergoing ‘technical difficulties’ with its central computer core.”

While these have only resulted in minor malfunctions so far, mainly within the ODN and replicator systems, Lieutenant Harper has requested additional support for his engineering team while he attempts to correct the problem.”



Carlos took a very deep pause and slowly – ever so slowly – pressed the button on his computer. His face then frowned awkwardly as he waited for the request to be processed. Finally, an electronic female voice came back with the answer he had been waiting for.

“LOG SAVED.”

Carlos sighed and fell back into his Ready Room chair. “Thank God….I wasn’t gonna record that for a forth time.” He ran his fingers through his light brown hair and contemplated giving Harper another call in Engineering.

No, no, he told himself.

It wasn’t even half an hour ago that he had contacted the chief engineer and by the sounds of it, he had not appreciated being hassled. He could see his point but Carlos just wanted things sorted. Yesterday, ideally.

This wasn’t the first time the Liberator had gone through this though. You would have thought Carlos would have gotten used to it. The ship as launched early, as an escape craft to save all their hides. No proper shake down tests or even checks on system performace.

The past three years out in Sector D4-677 had seen the ship thrown in the deep end and expected to perform. In some ways, it was debatable if the design of the Liberator was actually a sound one. Carlos suspected some experts would say the design was flawed and would have been even given the proper construction period.

Over the years, everything from the weapons to the doors had given them trouble at one point or another. It was the curse of this deep space tactical vessel – it had been designed to be adaptable, to be able to last and adjust on its own while cut off from Starfleet resources. It was a great idea but it hadn’t fully panned out that way. A lot of the systems seemed to have problems relating to the other and would kick up a fuss here and there.

“Ah well,” Carlos shrugged. “Seamus will have it sorted when its sorted.”

He then headed to the replicator and ordered himself a glass of orange juice. At least one a day was his routine. Not with vodka though. It didn’t seem to agree with his stomach. What appeared on the replicator before him certainly didn’t either.

A glass of liquefied mud.

Carlos face dropped, going dark like thunder. “Carlos to the bridge…..someone grab a phaser and point it as Seamus’ head.”

“Sir?” The confused response came back.

“I’m willing to try anything to get this sorted faster.”

“Aye sir………”

“Oh, forgot it,” Carlos snapped, losing the moment. “Just let me know if there are any updates. I’ll be tucked up with my steaming glass of mud if you need me. Carlos out.”

Despite the sarcasm, he – funnily enough - left the glass where it stood on the replicator pad………

OOC: Sorry...was going to try to get this in the last mission but no access, etc.

This time, This place

“It’s all gone pear-shaped.” Mrs. Maddux muttered, using a term she’d learned from Tinnerman who’d said her Commanding officer was fond of. It truly had gone utterly wrong as she surveyed what was left of her crew. “Well, if this doesn’t get me dead…it’s certainly bound to get me retired to pasture.” Sienna muttered taking aim with her weapon and taking a couple careful shots taking out a couple more of Jade’s lot. She had no idea how it was that the remaining Gemini had been able to rally a force like this to stand up to Sienna’s Syndicate crew.

A team of twelve, albeit not the best the Syndicate had, because she hadn’t wanted her husband to catch wind of her first failure…now the second attempt was going to be a complete it or die situation. At the moment it looked more like the later would be the case for her. There was no way she was going to be able to call for a re-group. They were all scattered across the levels of the building with a small heavily army between each.

Misused, Mistakes

“Damned woman.” Taylor growled watching thru his binocs. He’d gotten rumors that this was going to happen. “She chose the wrong sort for this.”

“Her pride has always been an issue.” The other man sitting behind him in the vehicle commented. “She should have simply told me.”

“Boss, the way you two have been fighting lately… I think she’s just not thinking clearly anymore.”

“Could be Hunt.” As much as Mr. Maddux didn’t want to admit it. Watching the smoke and flash of a major firefight. “Think we can even the odds enough?”

“We’re going to have to unless you want me to get in touch with Pauly.”

“No, if we contact him I’m going to have to punish Sie more then I’m already going to have to.” This is the part that Benny truly hated especially when she went off and did stupid shit like this on her own. Bad enough he hated it when she did cancellations of any sort but taking on a red with a severely limited crew the first time and a second rate team on the second attempt. Shaking his head. “Let’s load up and see what we can salvage.”

Too long, Too late

Splintered wood flew everywhere around her as she crawled hastily to new cover. Ignoring all the new stripes of pain that were protesting as she moved. Most likely imbedded debris along with various knicks and singes from the weapons fire. Sie knew she’d have to do something soon or she’d simply have to stand up and face the music. They’d already managed to get her along the temple. The blood and cooked hair evidence to that one. She just hadn’t found Jade to take the reptilian out yet. Praying that one of the others had gotten to the ring leader of this fiasco. Either way, the house was destroyed. Small consolation in the grand scheme of things.

Who was I to make you wait

Kincaid checked his weapons one last time before taking aim at the main entrance way with the launcher. The scope actually showed thru the wall so he could see that he was pretty much shooting into dead bodies anyway. The activity was at the other side of the building along the staircases which made sense. “Whenever you’re ready Boss.”

“Do it.” Maddux stated, a complete picture of utter calm despite the fact it was his wife they were diving in after. Emotion in this case would not help the situation.

The younger man fired and the aim was true. Slamming the door along with part of the attached wall inward with a massive ball of flame and metal.

Just one chance

Whatever had impacted, tossed Mrs. Maddux hard into the wall while the chair she’d been using for cover slammed into her hard knocking the air from her lungs leaving her seeing more stars then she had before. Luckily she’s managed to keep her pistols. Firing haphazardly to make certain no one got too close until she had her wits about her again.

The beings she was seeing didn’t bode well. None of them were from the Syndicate crew at all. “Damn it.” She hissed, moving the chair around enough that she could get a lung-full of air. Sienna hadn’t counted on that deep breathe to cause pain like it had. “Frell.” Looking down to see a nice sized piece of wood sticking out of her side. “Well, Benny…I’m sorry.”

Just one breath

Taylor charged in once the smoke cleared. It’d be poor form if he hadn’t preceded his Boss. This was the stuff he had been raised for. Picking off the scum left and right before they knew what had hit them. Wasting nothing in his actions and not missing any of his targets. That was what made him at the top of his business. That’s why he couldn’t figure out why Mrs. Maddux would’ve chosen the bottom barrel crew she had.

Benjamin followed a half pace behind Kincaid. Picking off the other targets with brisk ease, taking both the Gemini’s force and the remainder of the Syndicate crew. Damage control had to be done. He knew Taylor was trustworthy and wouldn’t betray what happened. The rest couldn’t be vouched for.

Just in case there’s just one left

Gemini Jade watched from her small craft several miles away. She’d thought her deprived and desperate clients all sunk in deep cases of withdrawal were going to do in the Syndicate group. Nearly so from the looks of the cameras. Her dragons hissing and snapping as a result of her own emotions at seeing her house destroyed along with the destruction of so many of the people who’d come to finish her off. Jade was thankful she’d been able to sneak out just after the first of the fighting had started. Vowing silently to rebuild what she’d built with her brother as she started her craft up and left Messaria.

‘Cause you know,

The odds were not with her, but Sienna Maddux preferred dying in a good fight to bleeding out slowly on a carpet that stank of drugs. The firing had slowed some and the noise had lessen. Gritting her teeth the woman got herself to her feet, immediately taking in targets, starting to fire only to pull off at the last second to find the end of a weapon in her face. The lazer at the end of it blinding her from seeing who it was. “Stop fucking with me and fire!”

you know, you know

The Enforcer was too busy picking off those coming down the stairs to turn his attention to the swearing off to his right. Hunt just figured his Boss had found someone who thought to challenge him. “Need a hand?”

“I’ve got it.” Ben stated evenly. “Sienna.” Lowering the weapon that had been pointed at her. Only to find her own pressed against the lapel of his suit. “If you insist, let me take my jacket off first.”

That I love you

Blinking at her husband, suddenly swinging her pistol right over his shoulder to nail a thug between the eyes that had been coming up behind him and Kincaid. “Leave Benny.” She hissed. “This is botched and I’ve failed.” Blue eyes pleading to him from her blood smeared face. He was the absolute last person she had wanted to see here.

“There won’t be anyone left here to talk about it.” Mr. Maddux glanced to Hunt who simply nodded and started up the stairwell to finish cleaning up the mess. “Damn it woman, you should’ve simply told me.”

“Why?” Shooting back at him with words, keeping a wary eye toward the stairs. “Only to have you bitch at me some more about how I’m losing my touch?”

I have loved you all along

The harsh lines around her mouth and the crease between her brows told him more then Sienna would. She was in pain. Given the obvious injuries mix that with those that aren’t, he had not doubt. “Let’s talk about it this later after we’ve gotten you patched up.”

“Why are you breaking rules Benny?” Her eyes wide, her pupils becoming wider then they should be, as she slowly started slumping against the wall.

“You know that answer already Sienna.” Whistling for Kincaid. “You done up there?”

And I miss you

“Yes Sir.” Hunt came back down the stairs. His suit only slightly out of sorts. “All clear upstairs.”

“Good. Help me get her out of here and we’re going to torch this place.” Ben had caught Sienna, pinning her semi-upright against the wall.

“Here sir…Use this.” Offering his suit jacket, while pulling Mrs. Maddux away from the wall to hold her so that her husband could put Hunt’s jacket around her and carry her without getting Ben’s own suit bloodied up too bad.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Sie commented weakly at being handled by Kincaid.

Been far away for far too long

“No.” Mr. Maddux answered.

“Not really.” Hunt replied at the same time. Sienna only huffed in annoyance before going completely limp, both of her pistols clattering to the floor. “Shit, You got her Boss?”

“Yeah, I’ve got her. Get her pistols. We need to get out of here now.” As much as the authorities on Messaria kept out of the Syndicate’s business they would have to eventually respond to violence that had gone on there. He really didn’t want to be around to be questioned.

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me

The craft left the scene smoothly. Once they were clear the explosion shook the entire area. The entire house engulfed in flames that burned blue-white from the heat it generated before settling to the orange-red glow once most of the fuel had burnt up. There would be nothing left worth trying to identify.

The younger man guided the ship to Maddux’s personal cruiser. Keeping his thoughts to himself since that was what was expected of him. He just hoped to love someone that much someday soon. Everyone knew the story how the current Boss had found his queen. Many wondered time and again why he chose to stick with her even when she did stupid stunts like what had just happened. Many just figured it just had to be that she was that good in bed and that Maddux was fond of her looks. Judging by his mentor’s expression…it went so much further then those simple things.

and you’ll never go

“Stubborn woman.” Ben whispered, holding Sienna close to him. She’d stopped commenting back to him a few minutes back but he still felt a pulse against his fingertips. Knowing he didn’t need to tell Kincaid to move faster. The little craft was going it’s maximum and then some judging by the whine that could be heard from the drives. So many things filled his mind just then. How they had been quarrelling more over less. How neither of them had really been talking since Tinnerman had come around.

Stop breathing if

“Sir.” Hunt nudged Mr. Maddux slightly. “Medics here.” Since it seemed his Boss had frozen in place. “Let me help you sir.” Not allowing his expression to change any when he saw how much blood had soaked thru his suit jacket and still tinged the other man’s jacket and shirt as well. Getting Mrs. Maddux on a float the Medics had brought with them. “Sir, I think you should let them work. You need a shower and a change.” Saying it as quietly as he dared. “I’ll go and if anything happens I’ll come get you myself.”

I don’t see you anymore

Ben was more then a little reluctant. But his white shirt was now pink and crimson in places and his jacket was unevenly darker in places. “All right.” Walking slowly toward his quarters…their quarters. Her perfume filled the room still. She’d launched a bottle of it across the room at him the last time they’d been there together. His wife had been yelling at him then about ignoring her and focusing too much on business. Pointing out that she’d not had him with her in bed for more then a week. He’d told her he’d been busy and that had been when she’d launched the bottle of perfume at him to have it shatter just over his shoulder along the wall.

On my knees, I’ll ask

“Mr. Kincaid, we don’t know if she will survive.” The head Medic stated.

Pulling his pistol from it’s holster in a smooth motion, having the barrel resting between the man’s eyes. “She will survive or there will be more then just her body we will need to bury.”

The medic went completely pale, stuttering something hastily before backing away to get back to Mrs. Maddux. Hunt didn’t care if he became a menace to the Medics. He was there to ensure they did everything they could and then some to keep his Boss’s foolish wife alive. He had always liked Sienna, though he could never figure out why she had always given him the cold shoulder. Brutally honest when it came to business, yet she had a ready smile for her husband or her close friends.

Last chance for one last dance

Stripping out of his ruined clothing, Mr. Maddux pitched them in the recycler before heading into the bathroom for a shower. Only after he was standing on the hot sprays of water did he let go of his emotions. Letting that water wash away his tears as it also washed away Sie’s blood from his skin. Slamming his fist into the tile, hard enough to crack the offending tiles sending a jolt of pain thru his hand and arm. Not bothering to examine his fist at all.

‘Cause with you, I’d withstand

The threat seemed to help the Medics find inspiration. All of them hustling about doing various tasks, while Hunt cut an imposing figure just outside the clean room watching the monitors with his arms crossed. He wasn’t surprised that the readings were low. He was surprised at how bad off the Mrs. Maddux was. The wood hadn’t seemed to be any place too vital at first glance but from the holo-image they had pulled up, it had splintered off nailing the lower end of a lung along with some other vitals. Not being extremely religious but feeling inclined, Taylor ‘Hunt’ Kincaid prayed for his Boss’s wife.

All of hell to hold your hand

He knew why she had done it. Sienna hated to fail. She’d been failing with him or so he knew his wife was thinking and simply refused to fail anywhere else. Ben had been so annoyed with her after that run in with the Liberator, plus with everything else that had been going on… he’d simply lost all sight of his wife’s needs. She’d always…always… clung to him when things were amiss. Knowing herself to be weak in ways that he wasn’t. “Gods, Sie…I’m sorry.” Muttering in the water. She’d been trying to let him know without seeming weak that something wasn‘t right.

I’d give it all

Medics had been at their task a long time by anyone’s standards. Yes they had cutting edge technology for this part of the universe but even with those advances there were things that had to be done with care. Mending a lung. Repairing a section of intestine. Replicating new plasma to replace what had been lost. Triple checking for any other internal injuries that were missed because of the bleeding that had happened. Repairing the gash from her temple into her hairline that was regenerating as silver hair regardless of what the medics did to try to fix it. Removing the assortment of wood splinters in her arms, back, and legs. “Must’ve been a helluva fire fight.”

I’d give for us

“She’s never been the type to make anything easy.” Ben stated from behind his Enforcer. Dressed in clean clothes, but not a suit. Slacks and a shirt suited his mood at the moment. Dark hair slicked back, but his dark eyes fixed on his wife. “She’s going to freak over that silver…or find a way to make it a trend.” He stated with a faint touch of humor. “Let’s hope it’s the later.” Glancing at Kincaid. “And yes…my guess would be that it was one helluva fight.”

There were so many questions Hunt wanted to ask. Like why Mr. Maddux hadn’t known what his wife was about? Why it was that it had taken his prompting to get the Boss to come see what was going on. Too many whys to ask and no way to ask them without getting him in hot water. “Well, let’s hope she takes the easy path to recovery.” It sounded hollow even to his own ears.

Give anything but I won’t give up

“If it kills me…she will.” Benjamin answered quietly, flexing his hand to ease the freshly healed skin from where his fist had encountered the tiles. “Have they said anything?”

“Not since I threatened them.” Hunt answered soberly. Catching the questioning look off his Boss. “Let’s just say I put their priorities straight.”

Mr. Maddux nodded falling silent next to Kincaid for a long while. “Don’t ever fall in love.”

“Why’s that sir?”

“Because it is the absolute best and worst of everything when you find a woman that completes you and yet can tear you apart all in the same moment.”

‘Cause you know,

“Yet here I was hoping to find one like that someday soon.” Hunt replied, looking at his boss’s profile. “A good woman is always worth the trouble.”

Ben snorted at that. “We’ll see about that.” Slapping Kincaid across the shoulders in a friendly fashion. “Just pick someone not quite as stubborn as I have, ok?”

Hunt grinned back. “Stubborn is part of the challenge, sir.”

“That it is.” Maddux admitted. Sienna wouldn’t have been the same if she hadn’t had that stubborn streak, mixed in with her big heart, and that devious wit. “If you find your other half, Hunt, don’t ever take her for granted.”

you know, you know

“I won’t sir.”

“You will. But remember where we are now when you realize you have and go immediately make amends. Because that is how we’ve gotten to this point.”

The Enforcer studying Ben’s serious expression before nodding. “Sir, while we’re on this topic. Do you know who was in that second floor room at the Dolmaner House?”

Maddux frowned for a moment before realizing who’d been the last one in that room. “Why do you want to know?”

“There was a perfume in that room that I’ve not encountered before.”

“Well, you’re not likely to see the likes of that woman again. That was Tinnerman from that Federation Starship that’s been roaming around our territory.” Eyeing Kincaid for his tastes. “You weren’t in this area when she spent time with us.

That I love you

“Sounds like I missed out.” Taylor commented off hand.

“I don’t know if I’d say that, but she was a unique individual. If you want to see what the girl looked like. Just pull up the house cams. The ones that are likely to give you the best idea would be the dinner party Sienna threw. Should be easy enough to find.”

“Thank you Sir. I just might.”

“Don’t get your hopes up. She’s back on her ship and we’re not likely to see her anytime soon.” Ben warned in all seriousness. Watching his employee nod. Both men having their attention drawn from the conversation to the Medic who was approaching them from the clean room, while two others moved Mrs. Maddux into a different section of their Sickbay.

I have loved you all along

“M-m-mr. Maddux…” The Medic stuttered horribly. “W-we’ve done all we can. We’ve fixed everything we found, b-but she’s not improving like she should be.” Casting a frightened glance at Kincaid who was reaching from his pistol.

“Go find some quarters Hunt.” Mr. Maddux stated in a tone that left no room for discussion. Watching the younger man leave before returning his attention back to the Medic. “Can I see her?”

To scared for speech the Medic led the way into the recovery room, shooing the other two medics out with him. That suited Ben just fine. Reaching out with unsteady fingers to touch her cheek. It felt so cold and so unlike his beautiful wife. “Sie… sweetheart, you’ve got to come back to me.” He’d whispered when he’d leaned down to kiss her cheek.

And I miss you

Taking her hand in his, willing his body heat into her fingers, while smoothing black and silver hair from her face with his free hand. “C’mon Baby… how can I make up to you if you won’t even wake up and argue with me?” He pleaded softly, pulling a chair to him with his foot before sitting down with his head on the edge of the bed where he could whisper and murmur to her without anyone else seeing or knowing what he was saying.

All the monitors kept at the same slow tempo for their array of soft beeps. It lulled Ben into sleep after he had talked himself hoarse telling his wife everything. From how he felt about her to all the reasons why he was sorry things had happened like they had to all the things he wanted to do to make it better between them. He didn’t care at that moment about the Syndicate…so much…he did care about his wife.

Been far away for far too long

It had been well after Benjamin had dozed off, when Sie’s hand had twitched in his startling him awake. Her fingers were warmer against his and her skin wasn’t as blue tinged as before either. “Sienna, wake up honey.”

“Benny?” It was a reedy sounding reply but he’d take it.

“Yes Sweetheart. It’s me…wake up, Baby.”

“You sound like I feel.” Sie stated bluntly, her blue eyes barely peeking out from under their dark lashes.

“Well, we can fix you feeling like I sound.”

“No. Don’t.”

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me

“Sienna, the medics can give you something for the pain.”

“Not for the stupidity.” She argued weakly. “Should’ve let me die.”

“I couldn’t let that happen.” Squeezing her hand gently. “Not when I found out what you were doing.”

She was too tired for an argument like this. Tears sneaking out from under her lids while her lips made an unhappy line that trembled slightly.

“Hey, hey… no crying over this. It’s done and over with Sienna.” Brushing tears way with his fingers. Knowing it was her bruised ego that was showing. “The house was destroyed with no witnesses left to talk about it.”

“You succeeded…” The words sounding far off and bitter. “I failed.” Letting go of his hand turning her head away from him.

and you’ll never go

He caught her hand again, covering it with both of his, before getting up from the chair to climb onto the recovery bed with her. Shifting his wife just enough that he could hold her against him, while he molded himself along the back of her body. “Since when…” He whispered against her ear. “…have we ever been held accountable separately?” Kissing her ear tenderly.

He felt her crying silently. Shaking faintly, but not pulling away from him. “How many years have we been doing this sweetheart?”

Stop breathing if

“Too many.” Sie answered before sniffling, sinking back against Benny a little bit, not relaxing but not having the strength to keep up pretenses either adding her other hand to theirs. Trying to stop the tears. She hated them as much as she knew Ben did.

“It’s ok to be weak once in a while Sienna.” It was heartfelt and so very gentle, breaking her into another round of tears. His outside hand freeing itself from their shared hands to reach up and smooth through her hair. Rolling slowly around, Mrs. Maddux rearranged herself so that she was resting her cheek against her husband’s chest listening to his heartbeat, so that it was so much easier on them both.

I don’t see you anymore

Ben was elated to have her in his arms. Didn’t matter if she cried or laughed…Sienna was there and answering him. Kissing the crown of her head before resting his cheek there, idly stroking her hair, and keeping her there with him. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid like that again?” He knew just by the look in her blue eyes that she wouldn’t…unless he drove her to it.

“I won’t.” She promised, shifting a little bit. “Don’t supposed they’d let me go back to my own bed?”

“Not yet baby… Maybe in a couple of hours.”

Sienna sighed, grumbling to softly for him to hear, but making herself as comfortable as she could.

So far away

Hunt had done as Ben had ordered. But the younger man figured time enough had passed so he had returned to their Sickbay to check on things. He couldn’t help the secret smile on his face when he had looked in to see his Boss curled up with his wife, talking softly together. As much the Syndicate life was hard, it made him realize how very blessed it could be as well. Regardless of how pissed off Mrs. Maddux would be at him later, Kincaid swore he’d keep that mental picture as a reminder that the woman could be sweet even if she had to be half dead to be that way.

Been far away for far too long

Another one that looked sweet in his book had been Mally Tinnerman. He’d found the dinner party Mr. Maddux had mentioned. Kincaid also had found garage archives that showed the woman in action around the various ships. Regardless of what he had been warned, those green eyes and full lips wrapped in with that wild hair and sweet body mixed with the memory of what that room smelt like…had Hunt wrapped up in all kinds of knots.

So far away

“So how many meetings do I screw up for you?” Sie asked, trying to keep her bitterness down but not doing so well at it.

“Does it matter?” Ben answered. “Does it really matter, Sienna?” Rubbing her back slowly.

“It mattered up until a few hours ago.”

Pulling her up to look at him, Ben kissed her hard with all the pent up emotions he’d been fighting with since they’d found her. Holding her face gently in his hands while cradling her against him. Moving them again so that she rested in his lap, in his arms, and against his body. “I am sorry Sienna.”

Been far away for far too long

“So am I, Ben.” She whispered back, resting a hand against his cheek, gazing into his dark eyes for a long moment before kissing him lightly and resting her head back down against his shoulder.

“Want to talk about it?” Holding his wife tight, doing his level best to make things right again…or at the very least better. His heart had been in his throat and the pit of his stomach at various points of the day and both times he hadn’t liked that sensation any.

But you know, you know, you know

“Depends on which part you want to talk about…” Mrs. Maddux answered.

“Let’s start with the part about you not telling me about everything anymore.”

“Kind of hard to tell you anything when you weren’t listening to me.” Sienna snapped. “I’m sorry Benny.” Immediately regretting the harshness of her words. Sighing deeply and taking in a deep breath of his scent, letting it wrap around her brain and relax her. She’d been missing his touch and his smell around her for over a week. “It just seemed that you were always distracted when that girl was around…then when we wrapped up that whole thing with the Liberator you had no time for me at all.” Feeling so small against her husband.

I wanted

“We both know how the duties take priority, Sie.” Stroking her hair gently. “I lost sight of our needs. I got that wake up call quiet clearly today.” Knowing he didn’t have to spell it out, but would fully show it to her when she was well enough. “As for her being a distraction…not hardly. I only have one type…” Smirking slightly at his wife.

“Oh… You don’t like those giggly school girls, huh?” Sie teased gently.

“I only have eyes for one woman…girls don’t do it for me.” Leaning in to kiss his wife softly.

I wanted you to stay

“That’s good to hear.” Sienna answered with a smile. “So who’s the lucky women?” Some of the old mischief warming her voice and her face.

“Well…if you must know, she’s prettiest woman I know. Very smart when she thinks about it.” Smirking some more, playing the game with his wife. It felt good to be teasing again. Watching that delicately arched brow raise in question to that comment. “Wonderful personality when she’s not being cranky and throwing things.”

“Maybe if a certain someone would’ve paid better attention and been willing to take 5 minutes and listen, there wouldn’t have been thrown objects.”

“I am sorry Sienna.” All teasing and joking aside.

‘Cause I needed

“I know Benny… and I am sorry too.” Snuggling up against him again. Falling silent. Dozing off and not realizing it. Dreaming of tossed daggers and destroyed perfume bottles.

Ben let her sleep. Shifting only occasionally to keep his legs from falling asleep on him. When the Medics came in to check on her, they gave him permission to take her to their quarters with the instructions to call them should she need further assistance and gave him a pain med should she need it.

The bed was so much more comfortable for him to hold her. It was also so much easier on him to wrap her up in one of her silk robes then lay her in amongst the pillows and warm bedding so that he could watch her with out a worry about her getting cold.

I need to hear you say

When next Sienna woke, she was much more comfortable but the smell of her perfume nearly overwhelmed which made her chuckle. “What a waste of a bottle.”

“Well, there were worse things you could’ve thrown and had explode in here.” Ben stated, looking up from what he’d been reading while he lay beside her.

“True…I think I had a Nitx bomb in my pocket that day. Would’ve made a nice big hole in the side of this ship.”

“Glad you didn’t.”

“Me too.”

“Feeling any better?”

That I love you

Stretching slowly. “Somewhat.” Her eyes fixing on his face. “I love you Benjamin Maddux even if you can be damnable pigheaded at times.”

His lip twitched at how she’d said that. “I love you Sienna Maddux though your stubbornness and pride are going to be the death of us both.”

“Point taken.” Sie answered, caressing her husband’s chin gently before pulling him down so she could kiss him.

“Good.”

I have loved you all along

“Benny?”

“Hm?”

“What if I said I wanted to retire?” Blue eyes met dark brown ones, serious worried and tear lined.

“Shh Sie… we all have bad days baby.” Caressing her cheeks and ears with his hands.

She caught his hands and kissed them in turn. “No Sweetie… the other part to this that I’ve been trying to catch you to talk to you about for the last two weeks…” Trailing off and looking completely terrified. “Part of why I’ve been so miserable…”

And I forgive you

“Sienna, if you don’t want to do the jobs anymore…”

Shaking her head forcefully. Catching his face in her hands, making him look at her. “It’s not that I don’t want to…but that I have to.”

Benjamin frowned, then it hit him in the gut worse then any punch ever could.

Her face was so grave and worried when he focused back on it. She looked like she was ready to die all over again if it upset him.

For being away for far too long

He hugged her hard, kissing his wife with all his love for her, not wanting to see that expression on her face ever again if he could help it. “A little one?”

Sie nodded mutely, caught between wanting to flee, wanting to cry, and wanting for all the universe to vanish.

“Damn it woman! You could’ve died today and I’d have never known.” His anger flared at her for a moment and immediately died when he saw her pale getting ready to curl up on herself. He’d learned along time ago just how fragile she could be beneath that tough exterior. Scooping her up into his arms and holding her tight. “Next time just slap me upside the head and tell me, ok baby?”

So keep breathing

Nodding faintly, clinging to his neck, Sienna finally relaxed some. “The Doctor couldn’t figure out what happened or how, but was able to confirm it.” She whispered against her husband’s neck. Technically she wasn’t supposed to have been able to get with child. Not after so many years on the House’s elixir of contraceptive, STD blockers, and antibiotics…yet it had been confirmed.

There was no way in hell he was going to let her out of his arms right now. “Definitely no more stunts like that for you.”

“Definitely.” Sienna nodded. “You’re not going to tell anyone are you?” Elated that Benny was happy but frightened at what would happen after word got out.

‘Cause I’m not leaving

“Sienna, this is something to be happy about. This is something we should tell Pauly and Ian and Trina about.” Pulling back to look at her. “This isn’t that House…hell, that’s been years ago now Sweetheart. Children are welcome.”

“But…” Searching his face, her mouth gone dry.

“No buts, Sie. You’ve done more then your share of the work around here. I’m to the point where I can hand off a lot of this to Pauly and Ian. They deserve the promotions now.”

“I don’t want to be useless!” She blurted. “I hate being useless and bored.”

Hold on to me and

“You’ve never been useless and we’ll find ways to keep you from being bored. Even if it means I have to take you all the way to Alpha Quadrant to go shopping.”

Sienna laughed at her husband then. “No Alpha Quadrant. Maybe Avalon and a visit to the Norvie’s…but I’m not going to the Alpha Quadrant. I’m afraid they’re all naive like Tinnerman…or up tight like their Captain.”

“We can do that.” Mr. Maddux smiled, curling up with his wife on their bed to talk in earnest.

never let me go


Joint Post: Sienna, Benny, and Mr. Kincaid.

The EMH had finally mastered her new female appearance and after much searching through the database, got her hair in a style which suits her and wouldnt interfere with any delicate surgical procedures.

In a fuzz of light she appears in the corner of an empty sickbay. The last person to visit was an ensign suffering from dizzyness after spending too much time high up the warpcore with a toolkit.

The EMH walked around to the office and took a seat and sat patiently for someone, anyone to come in...even if it was just for idle chat.

Prison gates won’t open up for me

This moment had been what she’d feared for the last several months. From the time she’d returned to the Liberator and found him awake and functioning thru all the other happenings that had gone on. She’d been able to keep a safe distance between them. Him with his duties and her with her escorts of guards. Facing Janis had been hard enough, but even then…Mr. Janis had only seen her naked body. Many had seen that. Harper had been one of the few to see her naked soul and his blue eyes were about the only ones on the ship that could sear her so sharply.

Swallowing hard, Melisade tried to keep her nerve about her. At the very least keep her calm about her and not give into the sea of emotions threatening her, making her twitch as if to run though there really was no where she could really go. Sitting at the bottom of the matter was that she didn’t want to see Seamus’ revulsion toward her. The man had every right to loathe her like a plague. It had been impossible for her to not notice the glares from his Engineering teammates.

On these hands and knees I’m crawlin’

“Mister Harper.” He heard her words and felt stung that she was being so formal.

“Mally.” Seamus caught the flicker in her green eyes when she looked at him fully. She looked so haggard and worn, yet at the same time seemed to be glowing with that unique vitality that was always hers. “We need to talk.” Not missing how her lips pursed into a thin line. They knew the tally between them. But it looked as if he’d have to be the one to bring closure if that’s what he wanted.

“I don’t know what there is to discuss.”

“Of course you do.” he said. He seemed resolved, as if a monumental decision had to be made before he could actually say 'we need to talk.'

“The answers aren’t going to be pretty.”

“So long as they are honest answers Mally. It beats silence and it sure as hell beats not knowing.” Letting a little of his anger show in his words.

Oh, I reach for you

She tried not to flinch. Tinnerman knew she more then deserved the verbal slap for playing the game. “What do you want to know Seamus?” Bowing her head but not moving away.

“Why?” he asked. The pleading look and offered open-hands gesture took some of the sting out of the damning question.

Mally looked at her feet and replied “Why to which of the hundreds of sins?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me which ones you want to discuss?” he said. This time he sighed, scrubbing his face.

“None of them are worth their cost, Seamus.” Doing everything she could to keep her voice even. “Not a damned one of them is worth what I’ve paid for them. So be specific or please, end my misery and move on with your life.”

“Oh I’m not about to let go that easily Malisade.”

“You should. It’d spare you more than you realize.” Trying to be kind. Trying to spare him the agony of knowing all she’d done wrong…by him, for him, to protect him…to protect them all. Yet it was breaking her heart that he kept pressing.

Well I’m terrified of these four walls

“So which of Sloan’s lies did he use on you? That he’d have me killed if you didn’t do what he wanted? A mysterious accident down in the engine room?” He could see the shock on her face. Seamus knew her. Knew Sloan’s MO too well. “Damn it Mally! You should’ve simply told me. I could’ve handled it.”

“H-he said you’d ‘think’ you’d be able to handle him, but in the end he’d destroy you if I didn’t follow his orders.” Watching her seem to diminish in size under her grief and shame. “I-I couldn’t let you die Seamus…I couldn’t let any of you die.” Looking away from her face because the tears in her eyes would undo him entirely and it was too early for that yet.

“You should’ve told me. We could’ve taken it to Carlos.”

“Only to get beat down because they still all thought me borderline insane? No Seamus. No!”

These iron bars can’t hold my soul in

It was already so much worse than her discussion with the Chief Helmsman. Janis hadn’t known her like Harper. He was already finding the cracks to pry at in her soul. He said pleadingly “They would have listened.”

“How can you be so certain of that Seamus? Huh? Arman still wants me locked up in every conceivable way. He’s likely to get his wish, too..... if I say or do one damned thing that upsets him.” Clenching her fists at her sides to try to keep her from completely breaking down into tears. Why’d everything hurt again?

“Everyone knows Pete’s a bit of a flake. We could’ve involved Annie. She’d have been able to confirm for Carlos beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were telling the truth. Hell, if you hadn’t sunk the files…they’d have been evidence enough.” he said.

All I need is you

This was turning into a fight. It wasn’t what he’d wanted. He had simply wanted to get to the bottom of the issues laying between him and Mally. Gods help him but he wanted to just wrap her in his arms and hold her, but there were so many other things that were keeping him from doing just that.

She said “for Sloan to have someone doctor up and use it against me.” The bitterness at those words hit him.

“Oh, I know he’d have tried.” Wanting to see her lighten up a little bit but he doubted that would actually happen. “What happened with Avakar? You two have been extremely friendly.”

Come please I’m callin’

“We came to an agreement.” Her face completely shuttering. That was one of the sins she wasn’t willing to explain yet to anyone. Especially since she didn’t fully understand what had driven her to seduce and goad the Ensign into that liaison. “That’s all.”

She could see it on Harper’s face that he didn’t believe her. “Truth Mally. Remember? We’re supposed to be telling the truth.”

“I screwed the boy! Is that what you wanted to hear Mr. Harper? I helped him find that spine of his.” Turning away from Harper, wrapping her arms around herself. “That alone is enough to convict me. Especially given the rank differences…oh but this ship doesn’t seem to stand on those so much huh?”

And oh I scream for you

“When did you sink so low, Malisade?” Seamus’ voice was dangerously soft behind her. Standing close enough to her that he knew damned well she could feel him. “We knew the differences in rank when we first moved in together. Since when did that make a difference?”

“I don’t have to answer you.”

“If you don’t it won’t help you.” he said evenly.

“You can’t redeem me.”

“Is that what you want?” He couldn’t believe this being his Mally. So very different from the woman who’d captured him a few years ago. This ship was destroying her or she was bent for self destruction.

Hurry I’m fallin’

Tinnerman shook at his breath against her cheek as he spoke. “There’s nothing here worth redeeming.” Turning her head to look into his face. “There is nothing good left here anymore Seamus. Abandon me so you can be happier with someone else.”

“I don’t want anyone else.” Those shifting blue eyes gazing back. Wholly aware of all her sins and willing to forgive them with time. “Don’t you understand that?” Shaking her head no slightly.

“How?” She choked on the word when she was able to get her voice to work. “How can you be willing to stay?” Keeping his eyes with her green ones.

Show me what it’s like

“None of us are angels.” He stated simply. “But I remember when you were one.” He also watched her eyes tear up again.

“I was never an angel. Even when we first met.”

“To me you were.” Letting a faint smile curl his lips. “Sharp, witty, fun…” His eyes danced at his recollection.

“That was so long ago now…”

“Not really but it sure feels like it, doesn’t it?” he said as he watched her nod.

To be the last one standing

“Anything else I should know about?” he asked.

“I woke up in a closet naked with Sakaki.” Tinnerman blushed. “I don’t think we did anything. We were both intoxicated by this drug in that club.” Wanting to hide. “Neither of us recall much other then dancing.”

Malisade silently wondered where the breaking point was with Seamus. She knew he’d reached it while she’d been away. But didn’t know if she wanted to push him away or keep him too.

“I heard about that one. You ended up giving the Captain a kiss after that and yelling at Arman.” he said with a slight laugh.

She nearly shouted “How can you be calm about this?”

And teach me wrong from right

“What’d you expect me to do Mally? Beat the hell out of you? To what end?” Half expecting her question, crossing his arms and backing away from her a pace. “Give you a reason to hate me? Make it easier for you to walk away? No.”

Coldly, she answered “I walked away from you when you needed me.” Harper knew damned well that sounded as weak to her ears as they did his.

“What could you have done? I was trapped in the computer. Yes your knowledge might have been helpful in restoring me a little sooner but I doubt it would’ve upped the time that much. No offense.” He could tell by the set of her jaw that she wanted to slap him for the slight, but had too much to atone for herself to do it. “Besides… you left to protect me.”

And I’ll show you what I can be

“Yes.” Former Ops was running out of arguments. “I thought I was.”

“In the end, didn’t your contacts help us out?” he asked. It was more a statement than a question.

Sullenly, she said “In a around about fashion.”

“Haven’t you also helped around here?”he said. She nodded. Going after Sloan herself at one point, wanting to throttle the agent for making her life hell. “Then why the hell don’t you pick up the shards and start putting some of the pieces back together. Yes, you’ll get cut from doing it but they’ll heal.”

Say it for me

Her expression at his words was priceless. Harper had had those same words said to him at one point in his life. It seemed to fit Mally’s right now. “I’m sure both the Captain and the Commander will have to admit you’ve been helpful lately. Tell them what they want to know…no lies… and they may box your ears and drop you a rank, but you’ll be able to move on.”

She looked at her feet again and said “I don’t know anymore if that’s what I want Seamus.” His heart clenched. “The Syndicate offered so much more freedom.”

“Do you want to be stuck in the Delta the rest of your life? Wondering if you’re going to get shot in the back or blown up? Is that truly the lifestyle you want Mally?” he asked, never quite realizing the age difference between them so clearly as he did in that moment. The rebellious nature of youth showing.

Say it to me

“There’s an appeal there.” She admitted timidly. Tinnerman couldn’t look at him. “None of my family has replied to any of my attempts to talk to them. So I may as well be dead or lost in delta forever.”

The shock of his slap was enough to get her to retaliate without thinking. Her own hand flying toward Seamus’ face to be caught in his large hand. “Stop it.” He hissed at her. “You keep wanting to run.”

Glaring at him. “Well, isn’t that what we’re good at?”

“Don’t lump me in with you just now sweetheart.” He hadn’t meant that politely at all and Mally knew it. “Right at the moment you’ve got a lot more on your scales to weigh then I do.” She jerked her hand free from his.

“Well, if you’re going to judge me then why the hell all of this then, huh?” Tinnerman stated, putting her arms out wide to encompass the entire conversation.

And I’ll leave this life behind me

“Because I care.” That was all that came to Harper’s mind. He didn’t know if it was love anymore. Too much had happened over the last year for him to say he honestly loved her, but he still cared a great deal for her. He watched the words register to Mally. “You need to stop acting like they trained you. You are a Starfleet officer. Not a Syndicate thug. You’re acting like a spoiled brat.”

When she caught him in her gaze he knew it was going to be a hard moment. “Am I worth the effort?” Stepping back up to him. “Seamus, am I truly worth what you are trying to offer?” The slight pout on her face caused a familiar stir in him and he grinned slightly.

“Yes.” Answering her with truth as he saw it. “Most of us are willing to believe in you again. But so far we’ve not seen much to give us hope since you’ve come back to the ship.” Not looking away from her at all. “Give yourself a little break..... you came back alive.”

Say it if it’s worth saving me

“Alive.” Mally studied his face for a moment. “This might be alive but it’s certainly not living.”

“Then make it a life.” Harper stated. “Look at all of the great Captains who became more. They all failed miserably at one point or another ending up busted down in rank before climbing back up again. Look at James T. Kirk. How many times was that man an Admiral and back down to a Captain?”

Mally rolled her eyes at the thought of her ever being that famous and said “I’m not a legend like that Seamus.”

“You’re still young." he replied.

She stated matter-of-factly “I also never wanted to be a Captain.”

“That may be but you were doing well as a department chief.” he said with raised eyebrows.

She retorted “There are a lot of those.”

“Not as many as you think.” Seamus said as he looked at his hands.

Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me

The Chief Engineer looked back up and saw the faintest glimmer return to her eyes. He wasn’t flattering her. He had simply been stating some of the knowns. It was known that she was relatively young. It was known that she’d made a fair handed CO of Ops. Nothing from up his sleeves or from under his hat.

Finally, Mally asked “Where am I going to fit back in?”

“That’s up to Carlos.” he said.

Wringing her hands, she asked “Where am I going to fit in with you?”

“Depends on you.” She didn’t know how to react to that. He’d said himself that he cared…but not that he loved her still. She’d been so afraid to love him since she came back that Tinnerman had simply tried to shut off that part of her heart. Deaden it some. Maybe that was why she’d jumped David… to see if she could feel pleasure without it bearing Harper’s name.

She stopped wringing her hands and asked pointedly “What do you mean?”

With these broken wings I’m fallin’

Seamus sighed, leaning against a wall. “I can’t tell you where you’re going to fit with me until you know what you want from me. I know we aren’t going to be able to share the same space immediately. The trust that was there before isn’t there now.” Simple statements. Harper wasn’t hunting for guilt in this part of the conversation. “Are you looking for a friend… or are you looking for more, Mally?” It pained him to ask that question but it had to be uttered.

She was floundering with an answer and he knew it just by how her expressions where flittering across her face. He continued with “Why don’t you use your mouth instead of your brain right now, Mally… say aloud what’s running thru your mind, ok? It might help.”

And all I see is you

Harper caught her completely on the wrong foot. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” She replied glumly, backing up to the wall and sliding down to sit opposite him. “We’ve not been right since I lost my memory. I’ve not been right yet.” Looking at him but not really seeing Seamus. “Part of me wonders if I didn’t hook up with you too soon into this mission, yet I know there’s something…well, had been something real between us.” Looking away sadly. “It’s never been real easy between us.”

These city walls ain’t got no love for me

“No, it hasn’t been easy but it has been good at various points.” Seamus admitted. “Is it that you still wished you were playing in the minor leagues?” Not wanting to offer her an easy out, but wanting to keep the conversation going. He wanted to know how far that dark crack in her soul had gone and what was feeding it.

She quiped “Only difference between men and boys is the size of their toys…and sometimes the boys have bigger toys then they know what to do with.”

Harper laughed harshly at that reply. “Is that all it comes down to?”

“No. I was too afraid to hurt you by failing to remember. Then it was that I was too afraid to hurt you by letting you know what Sloan was doing. It all hit it’s peak when you ended up in the Computer and your body empty. Instead of being afraid to hurt you…I hurt too much at being alone.”

I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story

“You weren’t alone Mally.” Tinnerman knew what he was going to say but wasn’t going to stop him. “You were apart of this crew and you were never alone until you jumped ship. Hell, even then Carlos reached out to you because he didn’t want to leave you behind.”

“It was easier to run. I didn’t have to face my fear of Carlos or Arman that way. They could continue to hate me for the failure I was.” Not wiping her eyes at all since tears would do no good in this post mortem of her actions. “The failure they believe I still am.”

“Only because you keep fostering that attitude.” Seamus said. He didn't like where she was going with the conversation.

Mally continued sullenly “I can’t be the perfect little officer anymore.”

And oh I scream for you

“You can be whatever you finally decide to set your mind to.” Seamus was getting tired with this line of reasoning from her. “You can be the top notch officer you were. You can be the wildly witty woman most of us came to call friend.” Leaning over to catch her chin. “You could even be my sweetheart again…but you have to want that Malisade.” Meeting her green eyes. “You have to want those things with this…” Tapping gently between her brows. “…and with this.” Lightly resting his hand over her heart. “Because if you don’t truly want those things with both…you will find ways to sabotage yourself.” He’d felt her heart skip a beat when he’d placed his hand there. “So what do you want Malisade Tinnerman?”

Come please I’m callin’

“Will you help me?” The words came as timidly as she felt inside.

“Do you want those things, Mally? It’s a simple yes or no.” he said resolutely.

Former Ops thought about her friends. Haruto... Pyro... Annie... Even Captain Carlos. Thought about the situation with David and how they were going to come to terms with that. Daniel Janis who seemed to hold a low opinion of her. Commander Arman who seemed like he’d never give her another thought…let alone another chance. Blinking to look at Harper. She’d done so much in hopes of protecting him…how could she walk away?

“Yes.” Tinnerman stated softly, looking away from Seamus. “Yes, I would like to work toward those things.”

And all I need from you

“Then, Yes, I will help you where I can.” Seamus replied. His heart had stopped somewhere while she’d been weighing her answer. He hadn’t been sure why but now that she had agreed to try, it had started beating again. Not sure what possessed him but he reached out and brushed away some wayward tears with his thumb. Finding himself wrapped up in a hard hug. “Hey…hey… it’ll be ok.” Hugging Tinnerman back warmly but not nearly as hard as she was him.

It felt good to have her against him, but Harper also knew it’d be a long time before he’d have her the way he truly would want her…if it ever became completely possible at all. She’d been right. So much had changed since they’d met. She wasn’t the same person she’d been before even though she still seemed to have the knack for doing the extremely insane to save others. That light heartedness was gone. That certain sort of ‘innocence’ that Mally’d had was gone also.

Hurry I’m fallin’

Holding on to him, making certain he was real, making certain she hadn’t just imagined the whole rough conversation knowing all to well that he’d get up and have to leave her for his duties before too long. God how much she’d craved contact with Seamus and not known how much she’d missed it. What it had been like to wake with him curled up against her or to him singing off somewhere in the shower or in the living space.

Tinnerman had known she’d broken too many trusts with him for them to be like that again immediately. She didn’t even know if the Captain would let her return to any kind of useful function or would still be inclined to turn her over to Excala Banar, Bounty, and them to be tortured for information she didn’t have. For now she had to let go of Seamus… that was hard enough.

Show me what it’s like

Arms let go and Mally returned to her spot opposite him. Harper thought that she didn’t seem nearly as haggard as she had when he had first arrived. “Let me talk with Annie and see what she thinks might be the best approach to this issue. If the Captain returns, for the love of all things wonderful, tell him what he wants to know. Stop playing games with Carlos.”

He watched her start to protest but the look he gave her made her shut her mouth and nod instead. “Anything else I need to know about?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

To be the last one standing

Mally thought back. “I took a couple of lives.” She stated shamefully. “Stealing the craft for the Syndicate.”

“Innocent lives?” he asked.

The Chief Engineer had ghosts of his own that involved killing. He really didn't want Mally to have to deal with such things, too. He had taken plenty of lives to protect the Federation and his friends. And then there were times when he killed to save his own skin. A brief image of the creature he killed in the computer core flashed in his mind.

“No... if those guys were innocent then I’m a Vestal Virgin.” Not smiling at all.

“We’re no angels, Mally. Remember that.” he said with a half smile.

She nodded at him. Trying to remember the better times they’d had when he actually smiled at her openly.

And teach me wrong from right

Relief that she hadn’t taken innocent lives had swept through him. Hell, directly or indirectly they’d taken lives to protect their ship and their crewmates. He could forgive that mark easier then the mess with Avakar. “You didn’t entertain anyone else?” He finally blurted. Mally’d been answering him honestly but that little point just wouldn’t go away until he had the answer from her.

Shock slowly registered on her face as she said “Entertain? I know Sienna Maddux found me amusing. But…”

“Did you sleep with anyone else, Mally?” He tried to say it as nicely as anyone could discuss that.

And I’ll show you what I can be

Nearly furious with him, she shouted “No! Seamus! beyond David I did not sleep with anyone else! Unless Haruto and I did something neither of us recalls!” Feeling completely shitty about all of it under Harper’s gaze. Her shouting became less pronounced as she said “They tried to hook me up and several of the guards around their houses offered, but I didn’t bother with any of them.” Seeing a little less disdain in his expression towards her. Finally, she was speaking in an even tone with “In the end, Mrs. Maddux figured it out that I was still in love…” Her voice trailing off to the barest whisper when it came to that little ‘l’ word.

Say it for me

He heard her. A new questioned blazed into his mind. “What changed that made you have to give up and do those things?” he asked.

Mally looked away from him and said “I could see it in everyone’s expressions. Everyone wanted to hate me. I gave them reasons to want to hate me even more. The attitude. The comments. As for David himself… I don’t honestly know, Seamus. I don’t know why I picked him and had a go with him. Could be that I wanted to feel pleasure that had nothing to do with you. Could be that I wanted you to completely hate me so I could honestly loathe myself without remorse.” The answer hurt almost as much as asking the question had. But the Engineer had it.

Say it to me

“Think about it. We’re going to have to discuss this again later.” he said without pause. Mally flinched at how crisp his words to her were but didn’t comment. She deserved her punishments in whatever form they took.

“Thank you.” She stated quietly after a moment of silence had stretched out between them.

“For what?” he asked.

The corners of her mouth raised in a slight smile and she said “Not giving up on me.”

And I’ll leave this life behind me

“Then don’t make me regret this conversation, Mally.” Harper replied softly. “Show us that fun loving, beautiful, Ops officer is still here with us and that we can trust her not to bolt on us again. Because it’s going to take a long time to regain everyone’s trust and respect….” He didn't say the other thing that was on his mind but she picked up on it anyway. Doing his level best to keep that damned stutter out of his words. “If that’s what we decide to work toward.” It was somewhat surprising the Chief Engineer hadn't stuttered at all during their conversation thus far. After all, some of the things he said were emotionally charged and he tended to lapse into stuttering when he became excited.

Say it if it’s worth saving me

The woman nodded. “One step at a time, I guess.” Watching Harper stand up. “We’ll see if I become worthy of that honor from you.” Favoring him with the slightest of smiles. “If not…then maybe we’ll at least be able to come to terms enough to keep your friends from stringing me up for the warp nacelles.” She said it with a light the Chief Engineer found refreshing.

“None of my friends would do that.” he replied.

“Oh yes they would, Seamus, and honestly I wouldn’t stop them.” Stalling him with a hand. “I’m glad you have them. They’ll be looking out after you regardless of what happens to me.” Making a shooing motion. “Go before I make you late for something.”

“Remember… One step at a time. One day at a time. And not a one of us here is an angel.” With that she watched Seamus leave.

Hurry I’m fallin’

JP with Mally and Seamus

Rinao yawned. Another Day another shift. Another Batch of Crystals With the same Defection as the other lot. The first few batches were fine and looked to be useful as Dilithium. however these ones were Not as pure as the Samples in the start and seemed to be tainted by an element that was unknown to her. she would Get Ed to look at this is more detail after all he was far better at understanding the make up of Various Elements than she was.

Her mind drifted back to Earth and the whole issue involving Khaos and Sloan. It was one hell of a trip like most on this ship things rarely went long before the next Universal Tits up happened in front of them. she yawned again wondering when the calm would be over and the storm would hit.

After Harper left, Tinnerman sat in silence. Thinking over everything that had been said. IT was time to start fixing what had been broken just as Seamus had said. She’d have to pick up the glass, deal with the cuts, and heal. As much as she dreaded what needed to be done, it was best to just not dwell on it and do it. As much work as Harper had to do, not to mention the work that Operations had to do. They could really use her hands and knowledge. To do that though she’d have to face two of the others she’d been dreading. Peter Arman and Carlos.

Sitting useless would help no one. Putting her hands to work to help with the vast assortment of problems…that would. At the very least help her guilty mind. “Computer, please send a message to Captain Carlos.” The computer chirped it’s acknowledgement. “Let him know that I would like to be of use should he wish it.” Mally didn’t want to bother him and a message was better then coming him. “End message and add Commander Arman to the send list.” Sighing softly, running her fingers thru her wild hair in worry. “Please send that message now.”

Swallowing hard, Mally curled up in her small space to wait.

<Tags>

This was not that bad. Victoria Marisha and Mikel were all Actually behaving and doing what they were supposed to be doing for once. Not that Victoria ever did anything than behave. But Marisha and mikel had been very good. Doing their Schoolwork and proving that tey were just as capable and bright as Victoria.

The Holo Graphic Teacher was busy at work and had everything under contrl at the momment. She let her mind wander abit to Sakaki and the nightclub. Once again something had gotten in the way of her wants and she was starting to get sick of it

"Finsihed" Stated Victoria

Kerry snapped out of her daydream. Kerry just smiled as usual miles ahead of the other two. And she was Also doing Work that was supposed to be for someone two years older than her. "Mikel Marisha are you both nearly finsihed"

Marisha nodded as did Mikel

"Good. We can go do something fun now"

The Events since she had come aboard this ship had been noted down on a daily basis. She had lived through the strange and wonderful fact that she was the first of the Enzanti to travel through time. Through time a idea that had been rejected as pure fantasy by many of the scholars on her own world.

To do battle in Ancient times with projectile weapons against a small army lead by a madman and assisted by a devious underhand. she had been sceptical about this assignment at first. But the way this crew fought for their Values and believes it gave Ro'Tara heart. The Team room was very quiet today only herself and a few other people. she sipped on the tea that she had rather taking a liking for and continued to reread the past events still not realy sure if she had actually been part of them

The pilot stared at the PADD that hung in space before him. He tapped the edge idly with the stylus as he mulled over the diagram on the screen. After a few more moments ot tapping, he used the end of the stylus to make a couple slight alterations to the diagram then saved his work.

Ever since he was a boy, he'd been doing things like this. Drawing pictures. As he aged, the pictures had increased in detail....and by the time he'd reached the Academy, they were full on blueprints. Then....he'd found himself out in the middle of nowhere with not a whole lot to do with his spare time.

And that's when it had finally come to fruition. Daniel had taken a load of scrap metal, spare parts and disparete alien technologies and cobbled it all into a fully functional space craft. It galled him to no end that he'd never really gotten to use the little ship for much. The Endeavour had been recalled back to Federation Space and all it's equipment impounded before he'd really gotten any real seat time in the Aurora. Though from what he understood...some of the elements he'd worked into the little ship were being studied by the Starfleet Corps of Engineers for possible future implementation.

But given that his toy had been taken away....and he'd yet again found himself out in the middle of nowhere (though this time he had a family to take most of his free time) with nothing to do in his spare time. As his mother used to say, "Idle hands do the Devil's work."

In this neck of the woods....the Devil didn't need any more help getting his work done.

So the Liberator's Senior Pilot had gone down to see Seamus, procurred himself a design PADD, and set to work. He'd worked on several different designs prior to the ship's little trip back in time.....but once they'd returned one of the various and sundry ships had come out on top and that's what he was staring at right now in the middle of the holodeck.

It occured to him that if he was ever to presuade Carlos to let him build the thing...it needed to be useful given their current situation. The Liberator had runabouts for all sorts of things.....but runabouts couldn't really get the job done in certain circumstances...such as close in ship support. The Liberator needed support...and that's what he wanted to provide. A small, highly manueverable craft that had the teeth to help out when needed.

It took some of it's design cues from the Aurora. It would be fast and nimble. The sublight and manuevering thrusters would be oversized. Janis was still trying to make room for heavier armaments....in the form of Starfleet Micro-Torpedos. Overall the ship was slightly diamond shaped. The pilot and R.I.O. sat just forward of the middle....and a pair of wings swept downward and back (these would actually fold inward for storeage in the hanger bay). At the root of each wing was where a pulse phaser cannon would be located. He wanted to put a pair of torpedo launchers underneath.....

....but several other systems were vying for space down there and he didn't particularly want to make the ship any bigger. Sure....in space none of that mattered....but if you ever flew into an atmosphere....it would. He'd seen too many auxillary craft get pulled into a planet's gravity well and be unable to glide without it's Anti-Grav generators. Not this....he wanted his pilot to walk away. Hence the atmospheric flight capabilities.

"Computer....load and run Katayama Simulation 37."

The computer acknowledged.....albeit with a rather strangled squelching noise. But nothing happened.

Janis sighed. The ship's main computer had been acting up lately.....though from what he understood, everyone in Engineering was thrashing about to get it worked out. It seemed that from the first time he'd taken the ship from it's hidden space dock that nothing had worked exactly as it had been intended to. But.....he supposed that was what they got for taking an unfinished ship into space.

They'd make due....and Seamus would conquer yet another of the Liberator's glitches.

"Computer....load and run Katayama Simulation 37."

The second time it responded properly and a moment later he was standing in the somewhat cramped control center of the small ship he'd designed in his PADD. It had just enough room for 2 people to work and move around. Yes...it was a fighter....but it was a bit more in the strictest sense. It had a head in the rear and could be used for slightly more than ship support when required. He didn't want Carlos to quash the idea because it didn't have multiple uses.

The front of the craft had a large, panoramic transparent aluminum window which extended both forward and aft.....and to starbord and to port giving the pilot a largely unrestricted view of the space around him or her. You can't kill what you can't see.....so..he wanted his pilots to see everything they could.

Dan slid into the pilot's position and took hold of the control stick. He'd opted for a more manual control interface here because it was often quicker to manuever in this manner than with a computer console. Though the craft still had that capability for longer missions or combat patrols.

The stars outside the canopy captured his attention for a moment.....but he soon was back to the task at hand. He powered up the large impulse generators and felt the telltale rumble course through the ship. Because of the stress the enlarged engines would put on the space frame....he'd made sure to beef it up considerably....as well as using a SIF (Structural Integrity Field) intended for a ship much larger. He knew it would hold together....though he supposed the acid test would be when it was out in space rather than in the holodeck.

"Computer.....initiate Flight Course Janis 04."

Space shifted outside slightly as the computer placed a multitude of bouy's forming the test course he would put this version through. For this particular mission...he was carrying a combat payload....though he'd made sure that the payload bay could be swapped out to carry an extended sensor package....or even a bit of cargo as was required.

Dan pushed the power control forward and felt the ship jolt forward a bit. He spoke aloud....knowing the computer would record his comments. "Adjust interial dampers again....."

As he flew towards the beginning of the course.....a HUD (Head's Up Display) appeared in front of him.....providing him information from the ship's sensors and showing him where obstacles were. "Consider integrating HUD into a visor type device....."

And so it went....as he guided his prototype through the course....the stars streaking past him as he did.....over and over again....

<tag to whomever wishes my company>

The whine of the phaser kicked in as Arman fired again. "Missed! Poo!" He cursed as the beam of energy went clean past his target. That target was a small little disk that was bouncing round the holodeck grid, begging to be shot down. The whole point of the game really when you were playing Velocity. He had forgotten how much fun it could be. Back when he was in academy, he and Cher used to play it all the time. He had decided to revisit it when he had a little downtime.

He wasnt as good as he remembered or maybe he was just drunk everytime he played it back in the day. This was likely. The academy bar still kept his favourite seat on a little pedestal with a plaque. He was in there so often it just seemed like the right thing to do. But he wanted something to distract him. The last few weeks had been weird ones with the ship actually going back in time. Not exactly an everyday thing although every day just seemed to be a weird one on the Liberator.

"Computer, restart at Level 3." He instructed and once more the disk appeared from thin air, hovered and then began to bounce around the room. Peter held back, watching the way it bounced off the gridded walls. His mind thought things through fast, he predicted the next move and fired. This time the phaser hit and sent the disk spinning off even faster. Next level now and a greater challenge. He gathered his breath, knowing this would be harder and followed the same route, watching the rebounds.

Now it was all coming back to him, the tactics and ways to win. More rebounds, the disk getting faster but he was on it. His phaser came up again and he fired. Perfect shot too, he knew it was the right one. That was when the disk dissapeared right before him, fizzing out of existance. Before he could become annoyed, it reappeared in a whole new spot several metres away. Peter fired again without missing a beat. And again, the disk vanished, popping up somewhere else in the room. Peter fired again and this how the whole thing played out for the next few minutes. "Oh this is getting silly now!!" He shouted as the disk went bouncing and dissapearing like a demented animal. It all came to an end when the disk took one final, fatal bounce right towards him.

"Bugger!!" He threw himself to the side and onto the floor, just dodging the disk before it smasked him in the face. "I think its time to call this quits!! Computer, end programe!" He picked himself up and dusted down his civilian clothing. Another bloody computer malfunction. He decided to get out of the room before he was beseiged by naked holo Klingons. Maybe he could use another of the holodecks, there was more than one on the ship after all. Holodeck 1, he would go there. He didn't even bother to check that it was in use as he entered. He should have learned really. Last year when he did this he walked in on a crewman with nipple clamps and a dominatrix outfit. He had kept to himself of course. Except Carlos. And Cher. And then a casual mention on his gossip news network.

Luckily there was none of that today. He walked onto the bridge of ship, one he didn't recognise but it was clearly Starfleet in design. There was someone in the pilots seat too, guiding the ship through warp. He recognised who just from the back of his head. "Dan?"

He walked up to the helmsman, giving a little wave.


>tag Dan<

Janis was in the middle of a series of rather complicated sublight manuevers when he heard a voice from behind him...which startled him enough to send the little ship careening towards one of the holographic bouys....though he recovered quickly enough to bank the ship and miss it. "Computer....end test flight and reset to start. Pause recording."

The small bridge was sloped downward....with the pilot's position somewhat sunk into the floor with a ramp off to the right side. Dan turned around in the chair and look up to see Peter Arman standing just aft of the RIO's position. He noted the small wave as the Liberator's first officer walked down the ramp towards him. "Peter...."

Turning back to the console, Dan put the small ship into stationkeeping. True that it probably wasn't actually necessary in a holographic ship....but it was force of habit. "Something I can do for you?" he asked.

They were off duty...so neither was wearing their uniform....which meant no ranks at the moment. At least not when you'd known someone for all the years these two had known each other. Afterall.....Arman had given his wife away at their wedding.

<tag Pete>

Peter smiled back at Dan comfortably and continued to look around the cockpit of the holographic vessel. He was a fan of Federation starships and knew every class in some detail yet this one was a mystery to him.

“I came down here since my own holodeck was playing up. So what you working on here?” He asked.

Avakar was looking down the end of his nose, right down at the girl growling ferociously at him. He donned a towel around his waist, and she her workout gear from her latest sojourn around the middle-decks in persuit of continued fitness.

He wore his towel as a means of preserving his dignity, the beaded water drying the longer he was out of the shower.

And Kelly's anger, which precisly what it was, was not even making the Ensign batter an eyelid. He was hardened to it, and his care lacking since his freakish encounter with that other woman. Kelly's matters of woe did nothing to sway his thoughts, she was becoming an inconvenience more than anything.

An inconvenience that was starting to put her weight about.

"I had this evening planned for the last two weeks... And I told you... And reminded you... And reminded you again... Then you go and arrange to go drinking with some slutty crewman-nobody from the lower decks?" Kelly raged, holding her fists back with fury. It was all she could do from slapping her live-in partner into the next dimension.

Avakar shrugged, and turned away to find some cologne in his drawer "That slutty crewman happens to be a friend of mine, going through a tough patch right now." He found his cologne and dropped it onto the bed, finding his uniform for the start of his shift in another drawer. "We can have some namby-pamby dinner any day."

The truth of the matter was, he cared little for a romantic meal right now. He was more interested in the slutty crewman-nobody Kelly had mentioned... Rumour had it she was a pornstar between the sheets to contradict her sweet and innocent schoolgirlish facade.

Landing a kick in Avakar's side, Kelly sent the Ensign reeling with a wheeze. Winded, he stood up to her next move and threw her on the bed face down with his knee in her back and arm tightly twisted away from her bodice.

"That's not very smart, Kelly" he whispered in her ear before letting her go. She reeled a bit, not seeing this venemous side of her lover before. She frowned, a cross between of confusion and anger, pulling herself together and getting on with her own business while letting him do his.

Dropping the towel, Avakar pulled on his pants and uniform picked up his pieces before abruptly leaving for the bridge. Duty called, and not too soon with clingy on his back every five seconds about where he was going and what he was doing and with who.

"Bloody pain in the neck," he cursed with a fire in his eyes stepping out of their quaters' doors.

Well...he had been planning on going to the brass with this thing at some point. Guess that was going to be a little sooner than he thought. "It's...a short range fighter. But it can be retasked for scouting missions, recon or even carry a cargo payload. Given that it's primary function is that of a fighter...it's fast and manueverable. It's got limited warp capabilities...."

Standing up, Janis led Arman towards the back of the small bridge. The master systems display was right behind the RIO positon....and he pointed towards the rear of the craft. "The core is mounted laying down to save space. It's the same drive as our current Yellowstone Class Runabouts.....but it doesn't have the same range. The nacells are buried in the main body to reduce frontal area....just here behind the root of the folding wings. However, it's faster at sublight. For that we've got a set of high output impulse engines and the manuevering thrusters are oversized."

Dan paused a moment to let Peter absorb the information. "But she's got teeth as well. If she were ever to be built....she'd carry pulse phasers and in the payload bay you've got an option for a pair of micro-torpedo launchers. It's got Regenerative shielding....ablative hull armor.....all that wonderful stuff. Though...that payload bay is where the ships versatility comes from. I guess you might call the packs....but you can put in a high powered sensor kit for recon or scouting missions....or make space to carry cargo."

He shrugged a bit, "It's mostly just an exercise to keep busy in my down time.....but it could be a pretty good asset to have around if it were built."

<tag Pete>