Jokes, know a joke? put it here!

[dodger]

Ok I really don't think that this thread needs very much explanation. Before I post the first joke (or couple of them) I'm going to tell all the blonds that I have nothing against you and that it's only for the jokes. Here is the first one.

Q: Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building?

A: They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings.

[dodger]

I'll post three more here. one of them is a blond joke so no offence to blonds and the first one is kinda well...corny.

Q: Who made the first soft drink?
A: Adam -- he made Eve's cherry pop

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

[*California~Dreamin'*]

Heh. funny stuff.

Ok, I got one.

So there are these three peices of string driving home from their friends house, when they decide they wanna' stop for a drink on the way.

They spot this bar, and they park their car and hop out.

They walk up to the entrance, but on the door, there's a sign that says "No strings allowed".

Well, of course, the strings are pretty ticked off, but they decide they'll try and get in anyway.

The first string says "I'll go in on my own, and try to get a drink; that way we won't draw to much attention to ourselves". The strings agree on the plan, and the string heads in.

He walks up to the bar, and says to the bartender "Can I get a pint?"

The bartender says to the string "Sure...wait, hold on a minute, you're not a peice of string, are you?"

"Why, yes, actually I am", says the string.

"Sorry, we don't serve your kind around here", says the bartender, and so the string leaves.

He goes back out to his buddies, and he tells them what happens.

The second piece of string decides he'll give it a go, so he walks into the bar.

He walks up to the bar and asks for a pint.

The bartender says to him "You wouldn't happen to be a peice of string, would you?"

The string says "Yah, I am", and the bartender says to him "We don't serve your kind here", so the string leaves.

He goes back out, and tells his friends the same thing happened, and they decide to leave.

"Wait, wait, wait. Just let me give it a shot. I'm positive I can get a drink in there", says the third string, so they decide to give it one more shot.

The third string decides he needs a disguise, so he messes up his clothes, and messes up his hair, and makes himself all scruffy, and just totally changes his appearance.

So the string goes into the bar, and asks the bartender for a pint.

"You aren't a piece of string, are you?"

"No, I'm a FREYED KNOT!"


AHAHAHAHA! I love that one! heh...

[dodger]

heh heh heh

here's one my dad told me

This guy is having horrible headaches. So he goes to the doctor and the doctor says, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed" (ha ha no that's not what the doctor said here's what he really said)

Well the only way to get your headaches to stop is to cut your testicals off.

What? says the guy. No I'm not gonna do that. So the guy goes to another doctor and that doc says the same thing. So the guy decides to go ahead and do it.

So after the opperation he wakes up and he dosen't have a headache and he thinks, 'this is great I feel so great I'm going to buy a new suit.'

He goes out and the worker guy takes his mesurments.
16 neck 8 cuff and 32 waist. Well are you going to get some underwear?

Shure.

I'll give you a 32 waist underwear.

No I wear a 26 underwear.

But sir your pants measurment is 32

But I wear a 32

Sir everyone knows that if your underwear is too tight, it will squeez your testicals and give you headaches.