Not so far gone, jon

[Captain Jonathan Ballentine]

“I try,” he grinned. He was definitely different, that was for sure. But the world was growing, it was evolving, and Jon wanted to be at the forefront. He wanted to be remembered, and maybe adored in the future. It was probably a hopeless task, as even though he had made a name for himself, he wasn’t exactly terribly feared for his temper or anything else that other pirates had.

It was funny. Jon had taken an enormous risk by asking Lilah to come with him. She could have been shocked and angered by his proposal. She could have slapped him and stormed off. To be honest, she could have slapped him, stormed off and told the authorities that he was about. So really, when she calmly decided to tell him that she would be useless on a ship, he was actually very relieved.

Jon was a passionate character. Yes, he was gentlemanly and all the rest of it, but when it came to something he believed in, he didn’t just shut up and keel over. No, quite the contrary. He kept running his mouth until he realised that he was being idiotic, and then he would be forced to apologise, looking like a fool. He had asked Lilah to come on a whim, and she hadn’t technically said no to him. Wasn’t that half of the battle already won?

“So? I wasn’t born with the ability to captain a ship, Lilah.” Maybe logic would work with her. “Just think! I can teach you everything you need to know, and you can have all the time in the world to sit and write on the open sea! You can have everything you want, and a real life for yourself.” He paused. “And if you come on one trip and decide that you’d prefer to be a servant here for the rest of your life, then blame me. We can come back, and you can tell your master that I kidnapped you. You can’t lose!”

[Lilah Paige]

He was making a lot of sense, at least when you think aboutit from the purely technical point of view. He was right, people didn't just know things right out of the womb, they wren't bor knowing what they had the abilities to do whn they got older. SHe didn't know wether she could catch on to how to work on a ship, but eitheway, did she really want to be on a pirate ship?

"I'm a woman.I'll be no man's whore, and what else could I be, living on a ship of pirates?"

Justbecause she might have trusted him, she wasn't going to trust a whole crew of pirates. He kept insisting that he was one, and she'd never heard of one pirste, let alone a whole shipfull of them, leaving a woman alone who wanted to be left. She wasn't about to let herself get tricked onto a ship with no way off, and no chance of defending herself and her honor.

Maybe she was just tring to find excuses, but she was a bit afraid of the idea. She'd never had dreams of leaving the land, and going for a live on the open waters, she'd never thirst for that kind of life. She'd never really know what kind of a life she'd wanted. The idea of leaving what she'd always known behind, for a life that could be as painful as her worst nightmares... it scared her.

"I have a duty here. I owe them for all they've done, I can't just leave."

[Captain Jonathan Ballentine]

“What?” Jon frowned at Lilah, realising exactly what she had in mind. “I already have women on my ship, Lilah.” He shook his head. “I was always a bit of a laughing stock. Women can be just as handy as men in battles, you know. You may not be as physically strong as men, but you can’t all be chained to the bed all day long.” He shivered. “I imagine what my life would have been if I had been born a girl, and still loved the open sea. No, I have good women on my ship, thank you very much. And I am certainly not going to allow that sort of lewd behaviour on my ship.”

Jon believed that he had every right to be indignant. The woman hadn’t even seen the beauty of The Dalliance, and so had no right to call his crew a bunch of vicious old pirates. Yes, she hadn’t technically said that they were all brutes, but by her tone and inference, she may as well have come out and said that she thought his entire life out at sea was a disgrace. Jon had never touched a woman that hadn’t wanted him too. Did she think that was all he wanted her for?

“I’m not forcing you to come,” Jon sighed. “But imagine this. Ten years… twenty, however long. You’ll look back and wonder. You’ll lie awake at night and think, what would have happened if I had gone with him? You won’t believe what you’ll miss seeing and experiencing. All I can do is give you the choice.” He then looked down at his empty plate. “I won’t be able to come back here after tomorrow night. I mean, if you ever wanted to see me again…”

[Lilah Paige]

After listening to everything that Jon had said, Lilah finished drinking the rest of her wine in one breath, before seting the cup back down on the floor of the stables. She looked over at her favorite horse, good ol' Belle, and wondered what life woulf be like if she reall had the courage to just leave it all behind, and jump into life that she couldn't even begin to imagine.

What if she did as he suggested, and left, and went withhim to a life of the unknown? She still couldn't guess why he really wanted to take her along, if he'd only wanted her body, he wouldn't have gone that far to get it. Standing up, Lilah walked outside, pausing just outside to door and looking over at the manor that wasn't too far away. It looked smaller now than she remembered it... but bigger, too.

She was afraid... Wrapping her arms around herself, Lilah thought hard bout the choice she hah ahead of her. She could stay, and live her life the way she had always lived it, or she could go. And there was no telling what she might find if she left. She could possibly even find a reason to be happy. If she didn't get sick from the sea, first, that is. Was she actuall considering this? A part of her wanted to say yes, if she could just admit that.

[Captain Jonathan Ballentine]

Lilah stood up, and for a moment, Jon thought that she was just going to leave without a word. What would he have done if he were her? This was all that she had known. When he had been about her age, Jon was already out, crawling up the ranks of the ship he was on. As a boy, he hadn’t even known hard times, as his family were well off. They didn’t have a big manor or anything, but none of them ever went hungry or without for anything reasonable.

Watching her carefully, Lilah just seemed to be thinking, staring at her home. Jon stood up and followed her. He stopped right behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he murmured. It was ridiculous. He had only met Lilah by accident the day before, but he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even earlier that day, he had spent his time getting things right for tonight.

He swallowed. Maybe she wasn’t ready for all this. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m being unfair.” But then he turned Lilah to face him. Giving her a smile, he brushed the back of his hand down her face. “I would love it if you came. But if you don’t think it’s right, I can’t tell you that you’re wrong.” This was stupid. Irresponsible. Maybe his crew would have something to say by bringing a random woman to the ship. She wasn’t even a nurse, or anyone of any extra particular value. Then, Jon leaned forward, hesitating for a moment before he kissed Lilah’s cheek. “Give me a chance,” he whispered.

[Lilah Paige]

If Lilah hadn't heard him as he stood up and walked over to her, she would have jumped when his hands were placed on her shoulders. But she'd known he was coming, and his touch was gentle. From this angle, she could see the small room that hd been hers for so many years now, she'd nearly forgotten count. She couldn't see into it, but she knew the dark window.

Her whole life was in that room. She had the small things that she had managed to save from the days when her parents had been alive, and she had all of her writing hidden up there, under a floorboard under her bed. She had her clothes, and a few other little things that had managed to find their way in. Her whole life, in one small little room. And what did it say? Even she couldn't tell.

She turned around, when she felt his hand moving her to face him, and her eyes met his. Hers were unsure, and her usual confidence wasn't there.There we so many reasons that she shouldn't have gone but something made her continue to listen to whatever he had to say. Anything he might try to use to convince her, he'd already said the key point. He was leaving, and this was her last chance, besides the next day. He would be gone.

His hand running down her cheek felt odd, but she assumed that the shiver she felt was only because she was so nervous. He was being so logical about the whole thing, telling her that he wasn't being fair and things that were fvery true, but still not backing down from his offer. She tensed when he leaned forward, but he'd only given her cheek a kiss, and she took a deep breath, making her choice, and she spoke softly.\

"I have to pack a few things, first."

[Captain Jonathan Ballentine]

Jon had been pushing his luck all night. But it wasn’t like he was just trying to take advantage of the girl, oh no. Even if he had wanted that, then she would have just told him to back off. And he didn’t doubt that Lilah could hold her own. In fact, he guessed that there was a lot of fire underneath the surface. She had been forced into servitude for too long, burying it all, but out on the open sea, and equal to everyone else for a change, she would come into her own. That was one thing that Jon loved about bringing new people to his ship. They brought with them a sense of wonder, making the crew a better place. Yes, there was the usual drama of living closely with other people, but that was fine. Everyone had their ups and downs, and there was bound to be a few people that Lilah would hate, and they would hate her in return, but that was just human nature.

Jon thought about all of that, but the unsure look in the girl’s eyes told him for a moment that she was going to tell him to just go, and leave her be. In fact, he was so certain that she was going to stay that he had already steeled himself for the answer, so when she told him that she needed to pack a few things first, he was more than surprised. She was coming with him?

He wanted to ask again, check just to be sure, but then maybe Lilah might have changed her mind. “Do you want me to just come back tomorrow night? So you can say your goodbyes, and get everything in order?” She didn’t need to say goodbye literally, but she may want to make her piece with the people that she had served so well. Jon also wanted to make sure that she knew she was doing the right thing. Oh, he wanted her to come with him, she captivated him, but it would be pointless to take her all the way to Tortuga and then have her realise that everything was a mistake. He had given her the chance to come with him, and the choice was still open… he just wanted to make sure that she knew he wasn’t going to force her if there was doubt. “I need supplies from the town tomorrow. I won’t leave without you if you really want to be with me.” His offer was for the ship, but if they got to know each other better… well, he could hope, couldn’t he?

[Lilah Paige]

Lilah had to assume that when he'd said "be with me" he'd meant to say go with me, or something along those lines. She chose to believe that he'd meant that, because she didn't want to think about it meaning something more. It might get her to talk herself out of going. Now that she'd said she would go, she didn't want to back out of it. Now that it was out there, it sounded.... well, at least good, if not right.

"Yes. I'll be ready by then."

As much as she was worried about this decision that she'd made all too quickly, she also couldnt wait for the time to come when he would be back, and he would be taking he to the ship that he thought so highly of. She wanted to see how he worked as Captian, and what kind of life she might really get into. It would be interesting, to say the least... hopefully in a good way.

"Good night."

It was a habit of hers to clean up what had been used, but that night she would leave the things in the barn to Captian Jon, who'd brought them in the first place. She had a lot to think about, and a lot to do if she wanted to be prepared. But that was another thing, how could you prepare for the unknown. Silently, Lilah started making her way back to the manor, her night ride forgotten.

[Captain Jonathan Ballentine]

“Okay.” He nodded. He would rather let her stop and think now than have her upset on board, miles from home. There wasn’t anything else really to be said, and Lilah looked like she needed more space to go and think. Jon didn’t put his luck any further and stepped back from her, allowing her to leave. “Good night, Lilah.”

See, that was the funny thing about men. They were downright awful most of the time, but when they fell, they fell fast and hard. Most of the time they could lie to romantically-disposed women to make them think that they were really in love, but when it really happened, men were the ones that could have their hearts broken and spirits crushed by some tiny thing. Jon, if he hadn’t fallen already, was very much on his way. He stood perfectly still as he watched Lilah walk away from him, heart in his throat. He felt like a fool.

When she was gone, the captain turned and cleared up all of his mess in the stable. He didn’t want Lilah to be caught out for some mistake that he had made. If that happened, then she definitely wouldn’t want to come along with him. So, the plates and the scraps found their way back into his sack, and the pirate took one last glance at the manor. He had no idea where Lilah was in there that moment, but he just hoped that she was excited about the following night. Tomorrow, he would return for her, and he just prayed that she wouldn’t change her mind.