Title: Learning to breathe again
Description: Tag: Johan
Lorelai Caro - September 16, 2011 07:22 PM (GMT)
Lorelai had undergone her painful transformation about a week ago and she was still shaky on her feet. She had gone to the nurse's office and had a lot of donated blood from there. She hated this. She had had to send a message to her parents to say she was moving to this academy. She'd worried them at first, having been unable to contact them straight away. Luckily she gave the excuse of having become too ill to go home and had stayed in the nearest hostel.
It was early evening and no one was in the courtyard, atleast, not when she got there. It was fine with her. She walked over to a tree and collapsed underneath it, before weeping. She had no tears left to cry, but she didn't care. She wished she had never gone out that afternoon of that terrible day. This certainly wouldn't have happened.
She didn't want to be a monster. She didn't want to turn into a cruel thing that would take the blood of a girl who had done no wrong.
Johan Kroll - September 16, 2011 10:30 PM (GMT)
As the school janitor, it wasn't too often that Johan's job found him outdoors. After all, that was the groundskeeper's territory. Really, the only outdoor task the janitors had was to empty the trash bins along the walkways and pick up any stray litter that found it's way outside of the bins so that it wouldn't get caught up in the groundskeeper's mower the next morning, either jamming the blades or getting shredded up in them, sprinkling the grass like confetti.
This single outdoor task was usually saved for the early evening, which made sense when you think about it. It was late enough in the day that there was hardly anymore traffic across the grounds to give Johan and Charlie more work, but early enough that there was still enough light outside to work by. Not that either of the janitors needed much light in the first place, both of them more than capable of seeing in darker environments than the average human, but why subject oneself to such conditions if you didn't have to?
So this is why Johan was outside at this particular hour, still in his work clothes long after most of the students had changed out of their own uniforms. He worked his way across the grounds at a leisurely pace, headphones on as he whistled along to the music, a large black garbage bag in one hand and a trash grabber in the other, picking up the odd soda can, tissue, or food wrapper in the grass. Occasionally he'd find a sheet of notebook paper that he'd stop to glance over, and if it was nothing worth reading he'd toss it in the bag, otherwise he'd tuck it in the pocket of his jumpsuit to laugh over with Charlie later.
Eventually, this was how Johan found himself over by the tree where Lorelai had chosen to sit under. He looked up from scanning the ground for trash to acknowledge the girl with just a nod; a typical greeting he'd usually give to students when he was busy working and couldn't stop to chat, but that one look at her caused him to stop and lower his headphones, and that's when the sounds she was making confirmed that yeah, she was crying.
"Uhh..." Unsure whether to just leave her be or not, he hesitated a moment. "Everything alright?" Quite obviously, it wasn't, but he'd never been what you'd describe as eloquent.
Lorelai Caro - September 16, 2011 11:01 PM (GMT)
In the past, Lorelai had been able to zone out sounds; it was so easy. To the point where people could sneak up on her easily. But now, sound was so much louder than before. To the point where she looked up suddenly, hands going to her ears. It wasn't a loud noise, but it was still new and startling to her. She spotted a guy in some uniform.
A janitor's uniform, upon less hazy inspection. He was listening to music, quite into his job, she looked down again. She was probably in the way, but she was too strained to move. She would apologise if necessary. Would she be able to see her family again? She wasn't sure what the deal was with that. She knew that humans were integrated in the school along with the vampires and...other humans who she had a bad feeling about.
She looked up when he spoke. Her face looked absolutely miserable, which reflected her feelings perfectly. The guy was speaking to her. She needed to know first...whether she could speak freely. She breathed in a deep and unnecessary breath, smelling blood, but not the stuff that humans gave off. Not the mouth-watering human blood, which she hated. Well. She didn't hate hate it. She hated the idea that she was drawn to it.
He was a vampire. In smell and in...well, gut feeling.
She sniffed; unnecessary for the vampire self, but completely necessary for the human side she was determined to keep. She shook her head. "No...not really. I hate what I have to be now..." Lorelai whispered, but she didn't need to talk too loudly to others of her kin now, did she? She wondered whether there were any vampires here that weren't bloodthirsty monsters, like her creator. There was a reason she was a vegetarian, when she was human. There was a frikkin' reason.
Johan Kroll - September 28, 2011 08:48 PM (GMT)
"Oh," was all Johan could say at first. Of course it couldn't have been something easy like one of the many problems you'd often hear someone whining about in the halls of a normal high school: boy troubles, backstabbing friends, things like that. It was easy to come up with reassuring words for those situations. This was something a little more complicated, and while he still wanted to say the right thing, or at least close enough to help get rid of the look on her face, he didn't want to pry or get too far into some unknown girl's business where he might not be wanted. But her statement could've been about anything, he didn't really want to jump to any sort of conclusions either and assume he knew what he was talking about.
So he settled for a general answer, something that could apply to almost anything. "So don't." In his head it was as simple as that, but for Lorelai's benefit he continued lest simplicity be mistaken for insensitivity; he was trying to make her feel better, not worse after all. "I mean, everyone's got a choice, you know?"
Lorelai Caro - October 7, 2011 10:14 AM (GMT)
Lorelai sniffed again and looked up at him properly. He seemed like a nice guy; he had a nice face...and he had asked her if she was alright. But his words wouldn't make a difference. She shook her head. "I haven't got a choice...I will never be human again, there is no chance of that happening...it's been a week...I haven't woken up from this nightmare..." Lorelai said.
"I'm sorry...I know it's insensitive since...well, you're not human either, but...I'm just scared...I don't want to hurt any humans...I'm scared this nature will overpower me..." Lorelai said. She had been very good so far; drinking donated blood and all. She hadn't been interested whatsoever in biting a human, but then, she's been a vegetarian her whole life, self-control was almost instinct.
"Will I be allowed to see my family? I hope I can...I love them so," Lorelai said.
Johan Kroll - October 10, 2011 07:01 PM (GMT)
So it's this problem. He'd dealt with this problem once before, was still dealing with it actually, and he still hadn't gotten any better at it. It struck a chord with him, because all the reassuring words he'd offered to Ruben after she'd been changed hadn't helped; if anything they just made her hate him even more.
But that didn't stop Johan from repeating himself. "There's no such thing as vampire nature. Things die for other things to live, that's how it is with everyone, not just us." His voice had turned more serious. Not angry, but rather defensive, as if his feelings had been hurt. "I mean, you don't have the choice you wanted, but you still have a choice. It's the basic choice of right and wrong. Humans decide to become mass murderers for the hell of it just as easily as a vampire can."
He softened a little. "I'm sure it's probably rough for you right now, but it's not the end of the world. You're still the same person unless you choose not to be. You can still see your family again, things will work themselves out."
Unless your family happens to be a bunch of heartless hunters that will brand you a traitor and rip you to pieces without a second thought. And vampires were supposed to be the bad guys?
Lorelai Caro - October 17, 2011 04:36 PM (GMT)
Lorelai nodded. "...Yeah, I guess you're right...they have blood donors here...I've been using those...I don't want to hurt a human..." Lorelai said, taking a deep shuddering breath. "I'm sorry if I'm...bothering you. I was a vegetarian...that's one of the reasons I'm so against taking lives...I care about all living things...n-not that I'm saying you don't or anything..."
She knew she probably sounded so whiny, but she couldn't help feeling the way she felt. "I guess I just have to hope that my family don't notice the changes...I mean, I don't think they'd reject me but it'd be...I don't know," Lorelai said.
Lorelai looked up at him. "I'm grateful for your kindness..." Lorelai said.
Johan Kroll - October 30, 2011 09:24 PM (GMT)
"Well, plants are living things too, but no one ever cares about their rights. I've always thought it's because they don't have faces. Less cute than a baby pig, you know?" he said, making an awkward attempt to lighten the mood and maybe get a smile out of the girl, laughing at his own lame joke, though the sound fell somewhat flat the more he thought about it.
"Sorry, probably not the best time for jokes, huh? Even stupid ones." Johan apologized with a sheepish grin. "But yeah, everything'll be fine though, you just can't look at it like it's the end of the world. You'd just be setting yourself up to be miserable for the rest of your life like that."
Lorelai Caro - January 15, 2012 10:29 AM (GMT)
Lorelai didn't laugh at his joke and she wasn't planning to laugh anytime soon, but that totally backfired as she let out a chuckle out his attempt. He was trying to cheer her up, which was a high amount better than others who had just walked past, not caring. One person had even sniggered.
Lorelai shook her head. "No...it's okay...I appreciate you trying. It's really nice of you to take the time to stop and actually try to comfort me. I'm probably making mountains out of molehills, I just had so many plans as a human. I guess I'll figure it out soon enough...I just need to adjust..." Lorelai murmured.