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Newz: Da Warpath's 10th Conversion Competition: Cavalry Edition - ENTER HERE!

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 Wyvern Joust, The Calm Before The Storm - Final Monday
Goomb
Posted: May 11 2008, 04:13 AM


Generally Fluffy
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Joined: 19-January 05



Into the Deep

Sixa grabbed Prigdorak and headed toward the great doors of the coliseum. Pausing for a moment to grab his assistant, who was standing in front of a shop named “Da Gap”, the three hurried through the great doors and down the muddy street along the coliseum wall which soon changed to old stone buildings. This area was the opposite direction of Da Slums, but it had a distinctly older architecture and character. Skidding to a halt in front of a dark alleyway between two old stone buildings, Sixa turned to see if they were followed. Seeing that the coast was clear, Sixa pulled the camera grot and Prigdorak down the alleyway to a garbage strewn courtyard.

Blinking in the light, Prigdorak could see that they had come to a secluded entrance to the coliseum. Several years worth of wrappers and trash had been blown away from the coliseum and piled up along the ivy-covered walls. A river of putrid-smelling sludge tumbled out from a cracked drain pipe that originated somewhere deep in the coliseum complex. The sludge flowed through the middle of the courtyard and snaked along the foundations of buildings to an unknown destination.

“Ha, yer boss knows how ta live it up! Nuttin but da finest fer dat Goomb git, eh?” called Sixa with a sarcastic smile.

“Oh goodness! What a mess! We could hold a cleaning party and have tea! We would be giving back to this community and really be green. Wouldn’t that be super, guys?” burbled Sixa’s assistant.

The little grot skipped away from his companions and waved his arms dramatically as he described how they could have an “extreme make over” party in the courtyard. Prigdorak grimaced and began to draw his choppa.

“Hold it, you!” hissed Sixa to Prigdorak. “Ize needs im fer dat interview! Dat Fungus and his boys did this to em. Now Iz haff ta deal width em. He’ll be fine. Follow meez!”

Grabbing the gibbering grot, Sixa pushed through some ivy and into a dark entryway. The entrance lead to a dark concourse with ancient paintings of humans triumphing over greenskins, undead and other forces of evil.

“Da umies used ta use as a secret entrance for der big bosses. Since da greenskins moved in, weez don’t use dis area at all!” explained Sixa as he walked quickly down the dark concourse towards a set of ancient oak doors. “Through dere and a little more walkin. Uh oh!”

Six large orcs emerged from the shadows with choppas drawn. The largest of the six stood in front of the three and bared his yellowed teeth.

“Oi! Who iz dat dere? Ah, Prigdorak! Iz dat you? Took ya long enuff. Who ya bringin ta uz? Oh, iz dem little reporta gits!” roared the leader.

“Shove it, Graz,” muttered Prigdorak. “Da boss wants ta see uz, so let uz through.”

Graz’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Eh, wot? Da boss didn wants ta talk to nobody lass time I heard.”

“Da boss sent me ta do da speshal….project....an now iz time ta bring dis ere git to em. Das my orders, so youz wants me ta tell da Boss dat youz didn let me bring em? Wot will he do ta youz when hez heres dat?” quizzed Prigdorak.

Graz frowned. Prigdorak had a point, and if the boss wanted to talk to this git, who was Graz to stop them. Besides, Graz had been on the receiving end of the personalized steel plated knuckles before, and he did not relish the prospect of feeling them again. Stepping aside, Graz motioned to the party to pass.

Prigdorak nodded at the security team and pushed open the doors. The passage lead to a long spiral stairway that seemed to stretch into the very deepest foundations of the coliseum. They began their long descent, and soon the air grew musty and dank.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, they passed into a great hall through another set of massive doors. Entering the hall, they stopped to observe the swirling, raucous activity. Hordes of Dust Devil regulars and Booma boyz were busy constructing a massive object, and others were inspecting a glowing forge. Behind all of this activity, the Shaman Maggathag leaned on his withered staff and oversaw the entire operation with a crazed grin on his face. Even at this distance, Sixa could see swirls of crackling WAAAGH energy radiate from the shaman. Prigdorak strode across the hall and stood before Maggathag. Sixa and his assistant walked behind Prigdorak, hoping they would be unnoticed until the right moment.

“Ah, Prigdorak, I see you have completed your assignment, and I see you have returned with….friends,” Maggathag said quietly. He raised his hand as Sixa and Prigdorak began to explain. “Quiet. I have foreseen your return. Come.”

The shaman walked opened another set of doors and entered a smaller, dark chamber. There sat a large orc on a makeshift throne. The orc wore an imposing mask and did not stir when the small party entered and approached.

“Iz dat Goomb? Iz he…..?” questioned Sixa.

“Yes, that is Goomb. No, he is not dead,” replied Maggathag as he stepped forward and turned to face the small group. “He is simply….preparing his mind and body for what is to come.”

Prigdorak, Sixa and the assistant stared at the shaman, looking for further explanation. Maggathag smirked and cleared his throat. “You see, while da Boss believes in certain taktikal methods in beating his enemies, I have other methods. I like a little magic and something else.”

“What’s that?” asked Sixa.

“What the umies call: science,” replied Maggathag. “Come and see.”
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Draig
Posted: May 12 2008, 02:37 PM


Animosity Boyz
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A multitude of apologies, the move has turned out to be much, much more complicated than expected. One thing after another going wrong. Still, seems like I'm on top of things now so I'll try and get this done this week.
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Draig
Posted: Jun 8 2008, 09:33 PM


Animosity Boyz
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Anyone who noses around the rant section will know that my move went entirely wrong and the fallout has finally died down. Short story, I have internet access again and we can get this show on the road! You two good to go?
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Goomb
Posted: Jun 11 2008, 11:30 PM


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SHHHHH! I think that pink wearing freak has forgotten about this little thread, so now it is time to enact Operation Broom Da Pink Gits....I have my almost last installment coming tonight!

Goomb
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Mostyn
Posted: Jun 12 2008, 06:56 AM


Da open minded git
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Otherwise I’m ready and watching Da Big Broomb closely through my pink lensed binoculars (with fake fur lined leather carrying strap)

You'll look fabulous as my wyvern smashes you flat in the joust, little git. A nice, fluffy, furry pink pancake. Throw em to da squig pen!

Working on tidying up my post now. PM me when you are back online, Draig, so we can catch up.

Goomb

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Draig
Posted: Jun 12 2008, 10:25 AM


Animosity Boyz
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Righty then, Goomb, no rush, get your final bit up and we'll go from there and yes, sorry about the delay but good things come to those who... well, mostly to those who don't anger the GM biggrin.gif
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Goomb
Posted: Jun 13 2008, 05:19 AM


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The four greenskins entered a short passage and entered another room. This room was littered with bubbling pots, rusted metal bits, gems, skulls and a pile of weapon. In the center of the room stood a solitary oak table with parchment scattered above, below and around the table. As the four greenskins approached the table, a diminutive goblin entered the room.

“Science, my fellow greenskins,” began Maggathag, “Is da study of things. From the dirt we walk on, to the hot fires of the forge to the points of light in the sky, shamen like me study dese things and try to make sense out of it all.”

Looking up, Maggathag saw the blank faces staring back and him. Shaking his head and turning abruptly, the shaman began to scatter the parchment in an attempt to look for a particular piece. The goblin that had entered the room quietly stood in a shadow, watching the group with a grin on his face. Finally, the goblin spoke, “Eh, boss? If youz ur lookin fer da big plans, youz won find it. I needed it to make sum ajust-e-ments.”

Maggathag stopped his search and smirked at the goblin. His eyes shimmered with dangerous WAAAGH energy, and all other greenskins stepped back. They knew that shamen could literally erupt without warning.

“What…..adjustments?” quizzed Maggathag.

“Oi, oi! S’all right dere, boss. Check em out! You’ll see! You’ll see!” the goblin chanted as he brought more parchment to the table, dropped them and stepped quickly back into the shadows. Maggathag looked at the parchment for a few minutes while he stroked his grizzled chin. Finally after several moments of uncomfortable silence, Maggathag croaked, “Yer sure about this? You test it several times?”

“Um, yeah!" The goblin gulped nervously and squeaked as he counted on one hand, "Lemme see….one, twos, couple mores….yep! Yeah boss! Weez tested it sum!”

Maggathag’s gaze bore into the diminutive goblin, seeming to search the little gits’ soul. Mumbling inaudibly under his breath, Maggathag nodded and motioned the other greenskins to approach. As they drew near, he pointed at the goblin and stated,“Dis here is E-VilKen Weasil. He is the leader of Da Dust Devil’s Flying Circus.”

“Yep,” he beamed, “I iz da leader uv da air force uv dis WAAAGH!”

“Doomdiver,” grumbled Prigdorak under his breath. “He somehow survives all uv iz flights. Wait til he brings out da zoggin scarf.”

E-Vilken stepped into the flickering torchlight and smiled. Underneath his cloak was a sharp blood red and khaki uniform. Around his neck was tied a white silk scarf, and he wore a leather helmet with odd straps that buttoned across his chin.

“At yer surface,” E-Vilken said as he saluted awkwardly.

“Right,” answered Maggathag. “Well, we have discovered something after the last joust. E-Vilken and his boyz conduct test flights prior to da boss going up, you know, to gauge the winds and thermals. The last time we jousted, he and his boys found something interesting. Lookee here.”

The shaman pointed at the parchment, which had a crude layout of the coliseum drawn on it. The three greenskins could see the perimeter of the stadium, squig pens, the merchant tents, the stables and the stands. One the western stands, someone had scribbled “pink wearin funbutt gits ere.” The stands had several rough dashed circles drawn around them with the words “anti-thermal begins dere. Zero ta 1000.”

Maggathag stepped back and smiled. “There you have it. That’s how we will win!”

“Yes, by Gork! YES!” roared E-Vilken Weasle as he pounded his fist into the palm of his other hand.

The three greenskins looked at the shaman and E-Vilken with confused looks on their faces. The shaman looked back at them and his smile faded. Again, his eyes radiated WAAAGH energy.

“Don’t you see? It is an ANTI-thermal!” explained Maggathag impatiently. “You see, dem pink funbutts…..the air…..they suck so much that they create an ANTI-thermal. E-Viken and his lads found, after several test flights, that it spirals downward from 1000 feet to the stadium floor. Now, look at this!"

Maggathag pulled out another parchment that showed a similar diagram. This time, the circles highlighted the eastern stands where Da Dust Devils and Goomb loyalists sat.

“You see, for each actshun there is an equal and opposite reactshun. Our boyz are creating pure WAAAGH power with their energy and hatred of the funbutts, and this has created a speshal thermal. If da boss plays this right, he can get a jump on Funbutt while trapping that git in an anti-thermal. Funbutt's mangy beast will flounder in the vortex and eventually crash into his own stands, killing all dem pink wearing funbutts! The first seconds of the flight are critical!”

Prigdorak and E-Vilken Weasle clapped and whooped at this explanation. Sixa and his assistant stood in dumbfounded silence. Even though Goomb was in a trance and couldn’t be interviewed, Sixa figured that he had one hell of a story. Now, to get out of here and broadcast it….

A large cloaked figure blocked the doorway to the room that E-Vileken had used earlier, and Maggathag's smile faded as he shuddered. Clearing his throat and motioning to the door that the four had entered earlier, he quietly said to the group, "All right, you gits, it is time for final preparations before the joust. I have to ask you all to leave.”
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Mostyn
Posted: Jun 15 2008, 06:50 PM


Da open minded git
*

Group: Members
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Joined: 28-September 07



Haha, this must be a mistake - a funny post from Broomb. Although surely the super thermal above the Big Broombas is from all the hot air they generate with their rubbish jokes and talk of gold plated accesories.

Won't help you one bit but I enjoyed this one - my particular favourites were Goblin airforce git with his scarf and Science as the 'study of things'.

PS: Don't think I haven't noticed you throwing your mod powers about and editing my posts!!!!!


If I was going to edit your posts, little Funbutt, I would simply go on here and DO it and sign my name to it. Of course, I would use PINK lettering, but having no such choice, I will use.....RED.

Of course, that would be the case if I was messing with your posts, which I have not been....until now. ninja.gif

Gumbo "Da Big Green Hot Air Machine"


My apologies I can't think what came over me when I signed off as Goomb two posts up. If it was me pretending to be you I'd have definitely signed off differently (see above) biggrin.gif

This post has been edited by Mostyn on Jun 17 2008, 03:51 PM
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Draig
Posted: Jun 15 2008, 11:21 PM


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Ba-ba-ba-ba-BAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! <drumroll>

Bob: Welcome back to the Stadium folks. Holy Gork 'Chasa it seems like a lifetime ago that we were doing the build up for the semi-finals!

Chasa: Sure does Bob! Hang on it was, what the hell happened? And who are those two guys?

Random 1: Helloooooo?

Bob: Um... the Network asked us not to talk about it 'Chasa... and I'm not sure, better ignore them... he looks a bit like you though.

Random 2: Who are those idiots? Why don't they speak up?

Chasa: If by that you mean devilishly handsome Bob, I think you're right! I can't quite work out what they are saying..

Random 1: We better go over and say something, they shouldn't be in the studio

Bob: Hmmm moving on and still ignoring them! Any way to separate these two 'Chasa? Who's your pick for tomorrows first joust?

Random 2: Hey isn't that your shirt....

Chasa: Idiots... Well Bob its tough to pick a winner. Brains vs Brawn. Guile vs Cunning. Goblin vs Orc. This one will have bragging rights for years to come. The smart money has to be on Goomb, the size and strength advantage is formidable, but I'm picking Fungus as my ORCACOLA pick of the day. I think he's got the dirty tricks to go all th.... Hang on what is that swirly black thing? What is going on with this broadcast?

Random 1: What's that guy doing?

Bob: Umm... 'Chasa don't stick your hand in it!

Random 2: Wait a minute...

'Chasa: Quiet Bob. I want to know whats going on here.. HELLLOOOOOOOO!

Random 1: Um... the Network asked us not to talk about it 'Chasa... and I'm not sure, better ignore them... he looks a bit like you though.

Bob: Who are those idiots? Why don't they speak up?

Random 2: If by that you mean devilishly handsome Bob, I think you're right! I can't quite work out what they are saying..

'Chasa: We better go over and say something, they shouldn't be in the studio

Random 1: Hmmm moving on and still ignoring them! Any way to separate these two 'Chasa? Who's your pick for tomorrows first joust?

Bob: Hey isn't that your shirt....

Random 1: Idiots... Well Bob its tough to pick a winner. Brains vs Brawn. Guile vs Cunning. Goblin vs Orc. This one will have bragging rights for years to come. The smart money has to be on Goomb, the size and strength advantage is formidable, but I'm picking Fungus as my ORCACOLA pick of the day. I think he's got the dirty tricks to go all th.... Hang on what is that swirly black thing? What is going on with this broadcast?

'Chasa: What's that guy doing?

Random 2: Umm... 'Chasa don't stick your hand in it!

Bob: Wait a minute......

Oh fugg, 'Chasa, they are us. From five minutes ago. It looks like the Goblin techs have been playing around with wormholes again. At least that explains the delay in getting to the final! We'll be right back folks. Or maybe right forward! Don't touch that dial!


JOUST ONE!

TOMORROW!

BE THERE

OR WE'LL SEND FUNGUS'S FUNBOYS AFTER YER!!
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