Ahoy There! Ya Scurvy Barnacles!, Collected Piratical BatReps - reposted

[WarbossKurgan]

This be the Captain's log of a battle 'tween Kurgan and Grotsmeg from January of the year six!

Somewhere on the Lustrian Coast, probably.

Shiver me timbers matey! The Elfs turned up to a battle with a skirmish force! There were so few of 'em the two Giants could have scooped them all up and stuffed them into a couple o' sacks! Aarrr!, but then there was that Dragon. So the salty Orc Pirates pushed forward, their looted guns firin' at the Elfs, but to no effect.

A landlubber of an Elf Lord ridin' the terrifying serpent terrified Keel'Aul's Orc Deck-Boyz unit on the Starboard flank. A chariot ran them down as the scury dogs fled. The terrifying Dragon terrified Morsnik's Orc Deck-Boyz. The chariot ran them down as they fled like bilge-rats as well. That be a low trick ta keep ya good eye out for next time lads!
The guns fired again and killed two princely Dragon Princes. The rest of them were splattered with gore and went to hide behind the still-clean Silver Helms.

The Orc Error Boyz must have been on a bit o' the ol' grog as animosity got the better of them and they set out to proove "Dey was da best" charged forward along the Larboard flank toward the repeater Bolt Throwers that were tucked behind an area of jungle.

MoggOgg the Giant stood firm when the Dragon charged him. He took the Elven lance and dragon claws on the chin, then just grinned and went "Rrraaaagh (ahem sorry, I mean) Yaaaaaarr!" The Elf Lord didn't like the rum-and-fish smell of his breath and fled to windward, but the big oaf was too slow to catch him. Curse his flimsy elf bones. Silver Helms charged the Old Orc Adm'rul and his Boardin' Big'Unz, after an extended struggle (and the help of the other swashbuckling Giant, who got stuck in smartly) the Elves jumped overboard as well. Things were looking good for the Pirates. Time to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!

Two Great Eagles swooped down on the Cannon crews, intent on making bird food of them. It was not to be! The gun-crew stood firm using their rams and swabs to fend off the claws of the over-sized sparrows and eventually killed them (but only after two and a half crews were killed). The Elf Lord rallied his Dragon as the chariot scooted along the rear of the Orc's lines. The Silver Helms rallied at the very last moment.

The Error Boyz made it round the back of the Jungle and fired on the Bolt Thrower crew. As expected this did nothing. So the Orcs drew their Chop-lasses, charged and killed them all.

The guns fired again - trying to snipe at the two mounted Mages milling about at the back. They missed but killed the Lord, knocking him off his Dragon in a bloody mess. The Dragon pawed at the Elf's corpse and fumed - it wasn't about to let the death of it's "Daddy" go unavenged! It looked up and saw a mob of Orc Big'Unz jeering at the Silver Helms. The Dragon charged, but so did the Chariot, the Silver Helms and even a unit of ten Elven Bows.

The Orcs went ta Morky Jones' Locker.

Now, this was the end of the engagement but the Orcs wouldn't believe they were beat. The Error Boyz engaged in a shooting contest with the other Elven Bows and they sank without a trace, while the gun crews taunted the Dragon. As the beast pounded toward them they fired a last broadside at it - but the gun slipped in it's carrage and the shot went wildly off target - landing some 8 fathoms to their stern. The Dragon eat them.


This post has been edited by WarbossKurgan on Apr 3 2007, 01:53 PM

[WarbossKurgan]

Knights-Ahoy! Off the starboard bow!

Be ye warned: Here be the Captain's log of a battle 'tween Kurgan and a bunch of garlic munchin' Knnnn-Niggets.

The Piratical Greenskins deployed all their fighty stuff to Starboard (across from their foe's brightly coloured horsey-boys) and don't ye be forgettin their shooty stuff to Larboard (opposite the bow and spear armed scruffy-looking paupers, matey).


The grizzley Old Adm'rul tried to set up an ambush for the Bretonnian Knights and he hid the Big'Unz behind a wood ready to flank-charge when the time came, with the Giants on either side of him. While the two mobs of Boyz stood in the open and jeered at the Knights. The four Pirate Gunz all fired at the two units of peasant archers opposite them, in an attempt to make them flee but only took a few down, they mostly missed - damn their eyes!

The Trebuchet waaaay overshot the Orc lines (even after a careful squint through the spyglass) and the Bowmen rained arrows around the Orc Arrer Boyz, mean-while the Bret light horse also set up traps for the Pirates: The Yoemen in the centre of the line trotted forward as the Pegasus-mounted Lord, Henri "Da Goat", swept down and landed lightly next to them, just a few fathoms in front of Broadside the Giant.


Da Goat's nasty magik shield had none-too-pleasant effect on the salty Big'Unz as they lurked behind the trees - they were all strangely antagonised and a small argument (about which brand of Grog tasted better) suddenly errupted into a fumpin'-match in the back ranks! First Mate Keel'Aul sorted it out by bashin' some heads together but it took awhile to calm down some.

Even though quite drunk, the Giant could see what was going on, but he still couldn't resist the idea of roast-horse and he tried to get stuck in smartly with the light horse. As predicted, the Squires fled and the Pegasus counter-charged. Damn it! The Pegasus and Lord Goat attacked Broadside ferociously, but he just raised his broken-mast-club and smashed the winged horse into the ground. Da Goat was also injured as he fell from his stricken mount, but he dragged himself to his feet and hobbled away. Broadside's club was stuck fast in the ground (and the dead nag) and by the time he pulled it free Henri Da Goat had gotten away with a head-start. Broadside pounded after him none-the-less. The Yoemen, mind, set a course for the horizon and weren't see n'more!

Two Gunz fired and sank the Trebuchet with two perfect shots (three crew killed, a slight scratch on the scurvy driftwood contraption itself and the last crewman fled). The other two fired on the Men-at-arms lead by a Paladin, called the likes of "Red Antone", aproaching them and killed about half their number (though one gun mis-fired and killed a crew-goblin!).



MoggOgg, the other Giant, had very little luck though. He charged a unit of Yoemen - who also fled - and was counter charged by a Lance of Breonnia's finest, lead by the Damsel "Da Opera". He fell down dead onto Morsnik's Orc Boyz behind him, squishing three of the Greenskins! The Knights didn't miss a step and ploughed on into the tangled mess of Orcs and Giant-corpse.

Adm'rul Kurgan and Keel'Aul's Boyz charged into the side of Da Opera's Lance and killed a couple of Knights but Morsnik's Boyz were swept away with the tide.

The Adm'rul and his Boyz fled, but they were smartly followed by Da Opera's Knights.



After a couple of only just obeyed "Hold!" orders from the Paladin (nicely acquainted to our Boyz as "Da Stangler") the Knights Errant on the Starboard flank were charged by Grognog's Boyz (carried forward by a wave of green magical energy). Although the Boyz took out two Knights the were also crushed 'neath hoof.


Broadside caught up with the Henri Da Goat and bellowed "Yaaarr!" and, though this thoroughly shook the Bretonnian, he held his ground. Once the Da Goat recovered his wits (and stopped gagging at the stench) he hefted his sword and hacked Broadside's legs at the Knee-caps and the big guy fell, his timbers totally shivered.



Adm'rul Kurgan rallied the Big'Unz and lead the charge against the Knights (shoutin' "Oi! Shove off, ye Chumbuckets!") who were on their sterns. But even with the will of Morky Jonez behind them the couldn't break the Bretonnian armour and the Ladz got a fumpin', legged it and were run-down.


This just leaves the final instult. The gunz were about to be charged by Red Antone's Men-at-arms so they fired a short-ranged volley. One shot carved through the ranks of spearmen but the other wizzed wildly off into the sky, falling into the formed-up Arrer Boyz just to the starboard-stern of the gunners. The Men-at-arms charged the guns anyway and killed two crews.


Off ye go, now! Savvy?

[WarbossKurgan]

Yaarrr! Tales of North Eastern Seas. A tournament it was, in February of the year six!


Through mists and storms the rag-tag fleet of Orc Pirates sailed east across the seas. Their mood was buoyant and all talk on board was of the spoils to be had.


The cry of "Land Ahoy!" Went up at dawn on the 12th day of Nachexen, 2528. They landed on the rocky coast of an island chain. They weren't the first to go ashore though: A Dwarf Expeditionary Force had already landed some days earlier, on the island were the first Pirates hove-to.

The force was lead by a Scurvey Rune Priest and he raised is hammer to strike the Anvil of Doom as soon as the Pirates came out of the mists. With a deafening boom, the Anvil exploded - killing him and his body guard, instantly. They was caught with their futtock shrouds spliced, and no mistake!

The Pirate Gunz sounded, Iron Breakers fell.


The two Giants charged: MoggOgg smartly jabbed his hand into a regiment of Warriors, grabbed a Dwarf and threw him back into his unit. But the Dwarfs pushed him back and cut him to shreds. Broadside ran at an Iron Breakers regiment and jumped up and down on them two or three times. The Iron Breakers fled but as Broadside fell over they got away, then rallied.

Pirate Gunz sounded again, and they shoot well matey - fully half the Slayers fell as two shots landed square on 'em.

Landlubber shootin' is not to sniffed at, their Organ Gun and Thunderers ripped-up Mogrum's Ladz.

Mogrum left the unit (sneaky) and ran behind Broadside. Together they smashed the Breakers and rear-charged the Thunderers as the remains of Mogrum's Boyz charged and also prevented the Organ Gun from firing again, as their line-of-sight was then blocked by jungle and swirling melee.


The Slayers failed to reach Adm'rul Kurgan's Krew. The Pirate Gunz sounded yet again, more Slayers fell. Kurgan's Krew charged them and wiped them out.


The Dwarf Drivelswiggers, flush from beating MoggOgg the Giant, went as fast as their little legs would carry them - Avast! straight into the middle of a big empty space (like walkin' off yer own plank!) Rukbadruk's Boyz ignored them and went and sorted out the Dwarf Crossbows and Bolt Thrower crews. Gobrat's Orc Arrer Boyz charged and slaughtered the Dwarf "Giant Killers". Be ye warned, Arrer Boyz is often thought soft!


The Pirates loaded up with Dwarf Gold and set-sail for the next port o'call.

[WarbossKurgan]

A "Solid Victory", one hundred Victory Points under a Massacre.
17 Tournament Points to me, 3 to Dwarfs.

6 turns in one hour fifteen! This kid knew what he was doing and was even giving tips to his dad on the next table! But some awful dice and the loss of the Anvil swung it well and truly my way.

[WarbossKurgan]

The Pirates made land-fall at an island that must have once been home to an Empire Outpost, the cove they dropped anchor in had the ruins of a human town on the water-front but it was occupied by squabbling Savage Orcs!


The old Adm'rul decided to show 'em who was Boss and put the Krews ashore in town.


But right off, the Savage Orc Boar Boyz crashed through and scattered Grognog's Boyz and joined the Forest Goblin Wolf Riders, that had slipped round the starboard flank, over-ran the single Pirate gun there.


The rest of the Gunz rained leaden death upon the Forest Goblin's chariots (pulled by hideous monster spiders) while the Chieftain and his bodyguards bickered and rowed and argued! The earthy Trolls lolloped forward into the choppas of the Pirate Big'Unz. One Troll was slaughtered and when he didn't regenerate the rest broke and fled, only to be crushed by the persuing Orcs, who then continued straight into the savage's Giant Troll-beast! Much to everyone's surprise the Orcs also keel-hauled this brute and headed for the enemy lines.

But then the blessings of Mork seemed to be with the islanders as Wyrdtoof the Pirate Shaman got overloaded (though he may just a been on a bit o' the ol' grog. His Waaaagh spell tore a hole in the Savage Orc's lines but the power was too much for his body to contain and Shiver me timbers matey! if he didn't exploded, killin' three Big'Unz and injurin' the Adm'rul.

With only Savage Orcs infront of them the Pirates pushed forward and crashed through one of the blue warpainted mobs. Then the Savage Chief sorted his unruly lot out and lead the charge towards the Big'Unz of the Adm'rul's Krew. The old Orc must not have recovered from the nasty mess of Wyrdtoof's demise, as his ladz took a pasting and he didn't hit anyone back. The Big'unz broke and fled. Broadside the Giant was also brought low y this sweeping onslaught but MoggOgg kept fighting and held the Savages at bay for a while.


The Boar Boyz then took offence at the Savage Orc Chieftain's success and charged his unit bashing their way through several Savages but it could have been a lot worse for them, if the Pirates had been lucky. Picaroon it!

Mogrum's Boyz were surrounded after the Forest Goblin Wolf Riders sank the rest of the Gunz and panicked the Arrer Boyz. When the Savage Orc Shaman and his unit approached the Pirates made a desperate, hopeless, last charge.



The Bucaneers slipped their cable and headed for safer waters…..

[WarbossKurgan]

After 6 turns in less than 50 minutes (!) a Massacre and zero tournament points.

I know how he beat me but it seemed to be going so well in the first half! After I killed his chariots, Trolls and Giant I thought I had him (and to be fair, he seemed to agree). But the power of Savage Orc Boar Boyz teamed with Wolf Riders did for me in the end. It was an awesome game though and we both really enjoyed it. He won the "Best Army" award too, so the game looked fantastic!

[WarbossKurgan]

Licking their wounds and doing their best not to be disheartened from the defeat by Savage Orcs the Pirates made for an abandoned harbour on another island. When they had everything ship-shape again they made for the next island in the chain. This one had a an Empire army in occupation, decked out in slightly tatty-lookin' red and white uniforms.


The Giants was both sent ta Morkey Jonez's locker affore they even took a step! The Landlubbers blasted e'm both with every bit o' black powder they had. Handguns, cannon, mortar, and volley gun. A noise loud enough to be heard on the next island, so it was.


The Pirates had deployed everything 'cept their Gunz to the Port flank (makin' the most of that there jungle cover, says I) and the Empire troops lined up almost everything opposite them - almost mind. They sent a small unit of Hunters down the starboard flank (behind a ruined Lizard Temple), a Hero on a Pegasus followed a small unit of Pistoleers across the centre toward the gunz. Arrr, those nasties were to be a spot o' trouble later!


Not wanting to get distracted by these "minor" threats only one gun fired at each of them. The other two fired at the knights. One missed the Inner Circlers but the other hit the White Wolves, when the doggies turned and fled with their tails 'tween their legs they also panicked the Mortar crew! Not bad, but that were the best o' the shootin' that whole engagement!


The Pistoleers fired on one gun-crew after their blasted cannon jammed while the Pegasus riding Chumbucket of a Captain and the Hunters trounced another crew each. The greenskins gunners were slain.


Mean-while the rest of the Pirates made slow progress, through the dense jungle, toward the Empire lines. Rukbadruk's Krew burst out of the undergrowth and crashed into a Handgunner Detachment, killed them with them firin' a shot and continued into their Parent regiment of Swordsmen. A second detachment of Handgunners counter charged Rukbadruk's Ladz, but the tough ol' Kap'n gave 'em a a taste of his Chopplass and sent e'm all packin'. There were a bit o' jumpin around at this point.


Mogrum's Boyz weren't having such a good day as they were repeatedly riddled with shot from the Hellblaster Volley Gun. When Adm'rul Kurgan's Krew finally made it out of the jungle (after a heated row about exactly what kind of jungle plants were trying to eat their boots…) they tried to take out the Hellblaster. But they were still tangled up in the nasty local flora and the Volley Gun gave a demonstartion of short ranged firepower that left no Orcs or trees standing! The gun was then turned back to face Mogrum's!

Time to set a course back into the west, through more fog and worse storms on the jouney home. Off ye go, now! Savvy?

[WarbossKurgan]

Another Massacre and another zero tournament points.
Scored 42 points in total (including "Soft Points").

Waaaay down the tables but a great experience as my first "propper" tournament.

[Warlord Ghazak Gazhkull]

Good to see these reports again , I enjoyed rereading these report. I still like the looks of that savage army .

Thanks for reposting this.

Greetz
G