In typical greenskin fashion, just when Mortiginto thought he had everything in his battle line perfectly positioned to strike at the foe - his trolls and wyvern rider to take on the Arachnarok, the pike goblins to hit the Savage orcs, and so on, one on one down the line - something went wrong. The pike goblins (failing animosity
) decided they would rather show Grom’s night goblins what they were made of (being closer to them by a fraction of an inch!
) and so turned and moved towards them! This meant they got in the way of the orcs and every unit in the line had to rethink what could be charged!
So it was that the wyvern riding Jezly the Mean chose to charge the enormous spider-monster on his own …
…so that the Trolls could charge the Savage orcs in front of them, and so on down the line in an attempt not to leave any enemy unit able to punch through a gap. Beside the trolls the (’off-target’
) spear goblins smashed into the night goblins …
… while beside them Mortiginto led his massed regiment of orcs into the goblin column on Grom’s right. (Why did I not charge Grom? Why oh why?
In doing this, however, they got in the way of the goblin pirate mob next to them, which was attempting to charge the enemy trolls in the flank.
(Note:This is one of the RAW rules I dislike - 40 guys charge a regiment, but because four guys at the back come within 1” of a unit during that charge, the other 36 stop and the charge fails. I know it’s the rule, I just don’t know why all those guys in the front ranks act as if they are chained to the guys at the very rear! Would the other 36 even know there was some minor ‘disruption’ in the rear as they hurtled in? It seems to go against the spirit of all the other charge rules.
This left the two boar chariots (one charging in to join it’s embattled comrade) facing the large regiment of trolls and their spider-mounted leader alone.
On the far side of the field Mortiginto’s boar riders smashed into the enemy wolf riders who had burst through the centre left of his line. Of course the goblins didn’t stand a chance and all but one were cut down. The last remaining goblin, however, found a desperate courage from some hidden recess in his green soul and chose to stand his ground (rolling snake-eyes!
), thus halting the boar’s charge.
Although Jezly the Mean cut twice into the giant spider-monster’s flesh, his wyvernous mount was mortally wounded with poisonous fangs and collapsed beneath the orc warlord. Suddenly Jezly the Mean didn’t look quite so, well, ‘mean’.
Mortiginto knocked the head from the Goblin Big Boss’s shoulders and sent it spinning through the air, while his warriors laid low another 5 goblins. Only one orc was slain in response, yet the goblins had weight of numbers on
their side (steadfast
) as well as Grom himself at
their side and so stood fast .
The goblins safely positioned in the rearmost ranks now began giggling as they pointed out to each other the two pump wagons beginning to arc around towards Mortiginto’s orcs.
Meanwhile in the little copse of trees off to the left, Mortiginto’s trolls faced a storm of blows from the frenzied savage orcs (21 attacks!
), which meant that although they slew five of the green-skinned savages, one of their own died and the combat went on with neither side breaking.
Grom’s grey trolls and their spider mounted gobbo boss broke the brace of boar chariots facing them whilst barely receiving a scratch themselves, but they could not run the fleeing foe down, nor could they quite reach the large body of goblin archers ahead of them. Not yet, at least, but they were on their way.
Even more dramatically, Grom’s night goblins’ nets tangled the spear goblins, so unnerving the foe that even though the casualties were very few, they broke, pursued and slaughtered the enemy to a goblin.
Neither Mortiginto’s force’s shooting or magic had any real effect on the enemy, just a bit of itchy nuisance and a stone shot veering from Grom and killing two night goblins instead.
Mortiginto’s army was looking decidedly weakened, and the advantage swung even more in Grom’s favour as both he and both his pump wagons smashed into Mortiginto’s orcen guard, while his victorious night goblins hit the flank of the frustrated goblin pirate regiment and his trolls crashed forcefully into the goblin archers before them.
Just like the spear goblins had been, the flanked pirate goblins were also netted. Somehow, even though they suffered badly as a consequence, they found the resolve to stand, even if they could not manage to reform to face the foe.
The trolls killed fourteen goblins for the loss of only one of their own number …
… then chased them down and butchered every last one of them. They could not, however, quite reach the fleeing boar chariot.
(We mistakenly, I realised now, made the other fleeing boar chariot take a panic test at the breaking of the goblins, but of course it should not have done so, already fleeing as it was! Our mistake sent it scurrying off the field.
Grom’s wizard hat wearing night goblin warboss now successfully cast ‘Speed of Light’ and so magically enhanced the fighting speed and skill of all Grom’s nearby warriors (WS 10 & I 10 for everyone within 12”
Mortiginto and his boyz now learned just what could happen when a magically enhanced foe gained the initiative and hurled three war machines into the fight.
Between them, Grom’s chariot and the brace of pump wagons killed 15 orc boyz. Mortiginto did manage to damage Grom’s chariot, but not one goblin fell to an orc choppa (needing 5+ to hit didn’t help!
) while four more orcs fell to the enemy’s magically boosted weapons. Mortiginto and his boyz were well and truly beaten - they broke and ran and were cut down as a consequence. So it was that Mortiginto never truly earned his name of Kalmaro Mortiginto.
One of the pump wagons rolled far enough to crash into the beleaguered pirate goblins …
… so that now they were engaged to the front and the side, with many more more foes bearing down upon them.
Mortinginto’s ever diminishing little unit of trolls were still battling away with the savage orcs, with injuries all round but neither side yielding .
On the far left of Grom’s line his only slightly reduced regiment of slavering trolls was lolloping towards the last fleeing enemy chariot while nearby some of Mortiginto’s baggage trayne watched.
“Dem trolls is ‘avin’ a right old time of it, eh, Tog?” said Hafdi the orc to the goblin at his side. He laughed, “A right old time, eh!”
Toggler rolled his eyes. “I’m glad it makes you ‘appy Hafdi,” he said sarcastically. “But dere’s summat you oughta know ‘bout dem Trolls.”
“Eeek!” squeaked Doodo the snotling from the baggage cart behind.
Hafdi furrowed his brow. “Dere you go again, assumin’ I know nuffink about nuffink! I’ll ‘ave you know I knows a lot about trolls - like how dey is eating stones to keep demselves reglar on a reglar basis, see?”
Toggler’s nostrils flared. “Very interestin’, Hafdi. Nice to know you know some stuff. But I is not talking about trolls’ culinaryicical ‘abits, mate, I is wanting to point out somefink a likkle more important dan dat.”
“Keeping yerself reglar IS important,” said Hafdi in a rather peeved tone.
“Sure,” said Toggler, “an’ I’d love to talk wiv you about it. But what I ‘ave to tell ya right now, somefink only a knucklehead like you could fail to notice, is dat dose trolls dere is not on our side. Dose trolls dere is Grom’s trolls, and now dere’s nuffink ‘twixt us an’ dem.”
Hafdi thought about this for a moment, making mental effort to put all thoughts of stones and regular motions from his mind, as well as the fact that the baggage cart’s limber had just got heavier, until finally he understood what his rather more cunning friend was going on about.
“Mork’s bottom!” he cursed. “Dat’s not good!”
But no-one heard him, as Toggler the goblin and Doodo the snotling were already legging it.
The only large fighting regiment of Mortiginto’s army left on the field was the pirate gobbos, still struggling to reform as the enemy hacked at the side of them.
In the front rank the regiment’s rat catcher wasn’t looking at the night goblins, and nor were his rats. He was looking straight ahead at the enemy coming his way.
As if more than forty night-goblins and a charging pump wagon weren’t enough trouble, nigh upon fifty goblins and Grom himself were about to join in too!
I’ll not record the rat catcher’s curse here. Suffice to say it was rather more colourful and considerably more disgusting than Hafdo the orc’s mention of a deity’s bum.
Just then, from the other side of the field, came a horrible squelching sound as Jezly the Mean was squashed by the Arachnarok.
_________________________________________________________________________________Game Conceded at end of Turn 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________________________________________________________________Game Note: I had lost basically my whole army, being left with two useless shamans, a regiment of goblins about to be torn to pieces, two beleaguered, slowly dying trolls, a fleeing boar chariot and a single unit of five Boar Boy Big Uns to somehow save the day.
I am still not sure what I did wrong, but boy did I do it! Maybe I should have charged the Orcs into Grom and the pirate gobbos into the night gobbos, ignoring the other gobbos on the flank?
Or maybe there are a ton of other bad greenskin generalship mistakes I made?