I Am The Best, A Light-hearted Scribble

[Carrie]

It's my first time writing a not-so-serious story. And yes, I totally suck.


CHAPTER 1: I AM THE BEST


You can’t win, no.

In my course, I say curse, of a lifetime, I had been into three hundred sixty-six (and counting) contests I never dreamt of existing, or even knew why they existed in the first place.

Yes, contests – beauty contests, singing contests, dance contests, IQ contests, spelling contests, cooking contests, gymnastics, decathlon, triathlon – even weightlifting for goodness’ sake – et cetera and et cetera – you never wanna know what’s coming. And look, here I am, still alive and well, beautiful. Don’t you dare.

But take note, out of the three hundred sixty-six competitions I’ve been in, I lost to only twenty-three of them. That’s 93.72 winning percentage. Hmmm… not bad.

I say, you really can’t win, no. Especially against me.

Oh, and I am just nineteen years of age. A gypsy, turned wanderer. So young, and well, so beautiful. And---! don’t you dare! For a second time.

You may wonder on why I particularly engage my time to these many tournaments all my life, and I, no qualms, shall give what you like.

I have no zeny.

I’m broke as a broken shell, pockets empty as an empty bottle. I am simply in morose mood, hyped by the fact that this misery is caused by a pretentious, extravagant lifestyle I cannot even sustain, tousled by the idea that I’ll have to cross an eye of a needle to get to relish that dream again, and extremely downed by the thought that I have my last one hundred and fifty-two zennies in my worn-out wallet.

Wait, did I say worn-out? Oh my gosh, it was an Esprit! Sheesh.

And worse, here I am with my dumbest best friend, Cookie, a so-what Sorcerer. Always I wonder on how this creature ever got to pass the Sorcerer exam.

“Ahhhhh… Katie, why don’t we eat now?”

“Dumb, we don’t have money anymore.”

And my friend cackled with stormy laughter. I glared at her with utmost irritation.

“My, my, Katie! Are you insane? I merely said that we still haven’t eaten luncheon yet, what’s that got to do with the money? Or the lack of it… or thereof… or pundits and puny tails?”

What the hell.

Always I wonder on how did I ever get to befriend this dimwit.

Cookie and I have been friends since eternity. We were novices when we first met, and I being the aloof one, went to hunting alone, unlike those weakling kids who regularly stayed in groups, running hysterically away from creamies and roda frogs. But for some unknown reasons, this girl stuck up with me, tirelessly tailing my back with no hint of consciousness. Every time I asked her not to, she just wantonly drooled. Ever since, I already gave up and let her do what she wanted.

“Hey Katie, look at this,” hooted Cookie happily from behind, staring at a bright yellow poster on the street wall.

“What is it?” I queried uninterestedly.

“This may be the solution to our problem,” Cookie turned and muttered excitedly, now holding the poster and looking like she won the grand draw of a stupid lottery.

Raising one of my eyebrows, I scanned her face questioningly, patiently waiting for her to burst like a bubble, which always actually blabs the information.

“It’s a duelling contest.”

“What?!”

“It’s a duelling contest!” Cookie screeched annoyingly. “It’s a two versus two duelling contest to be exact.”

“And what are you going to do with that?” I don’t like what this girl’s trying to imply. That’s going to be absolutely, entirely preposterous.

“It’s our chance! We can finally earn money now! Look, the champion will get one million zennies! And second place will win five hundred thousand! This isn’t bad at all! Whattaya think, huh, Katie?” Cookie bored her eyes to mine, looking very hopeful and thoroughly excited.

“No.”

“But Katie! ‘Tis our chance! We’re broke and homeless, why don’t we just try?” Cookie pleaded insistently, tugging my left arm back and forth quite forcefully.

“I said no. That’s final. You know I never join these kinds of contest, they’re bad for the skin,” dismissing all her complaints.

“If you don’t come, I’ll go alone!” Cookie cried in desperation.

I sighed in defeat. But, on second thought, the prizes aren’t bad after all.

“Well, it’s obvious that I can join that competition of yours. But, question is, who shall I partner with? You? Duuhh,” I hissed sarcastically.

“Eh, of course it’s me! Don’t you trust me? You’re so cruel!” Cookie sobbed softly.

“Whatever. When is this nasty tournament, if I may ask?”

“Tomorrow, eight o’clock in the morn. Just outside south Pront.”

“Hmmm... eight o’clock... hmmm... tomorrow?!”

“That’s right! You got it right gurl!” Cookie cheered joyfully.

Like I said, this is going to be awfully preposterous.

But, I am the best. I could get through with this mess somehow... I think?

***

[Carrie]

CHAPTER 2: THE TEST


“I’m going to…” Too late. She already puked. I sniggered unapologetically.

“Haha. That’s what you get for eating without knowing what exactly you're taking in,” I cruelly and mindlessly laughed, not taking any step to help her.

“Gosh, you’re so mean Katie! How would I know that those mushrooms are not good for tummy! Now it hurts like Congo. And I feel like throwing up my intes---“ And she puked some more.

“Geez. You’re such a pain, you know?” I rubbed her back a little gently, attempting to ease whatever discomfort she’s currently and deservingly suffering. “How’re you feeling?”

“Uhm.. a lil’ better now. You really do care for me, I’m so happy,” Cookie sobbed, eyes turning in reddish hue.

“Shut up, oi! What am I really going to do with you?” I rolled my eyes but continued helping, I guess, my only true friend.

“I think I’m a bit better now. Hehe, Now I feel like we can take on anybody!” Cookie sniffed, pain slowly leaving her chubby face. “All I need is a lil’ urging from my bestest friend!”

“Forget it,” I scoffed, giving her one last petulant look before slapping her belly haphazardly.

“AWWW--!” Cookie whined what it seems like all day.

Today is the day of that infamous duelling contest I cannot even fathom myself on why should I join. This is entirely this blockhead’s fault, who is still moping herself up, tidying her appearance for this dire occasion.

“Ehem, ehem… everyone, may I have your attention please!” squeaked an old, squat minstrel while strutting forward. He and his gestures were extremely mouse-like. I cringed inwardly.

“Today marks the forty-fourth City-wide Duelling Duo Tournament!” the mouse posthumously announced, followed by a roar of excitement and enthusiasm by the crowd.

Wait, did he say forty-fourth? How come I haven’t heard about this competition? Hell, whatever, I am not particularly interested in joining anyways. Until now.

“Uhmm, Katie?” Cookie murmured behind me.

“What?”

“Katie, uhmm, maybe ‘tis not a good idea at all? Should we just go back? Look at these guys, they’re going to eat us alive!” Trust this girl to have cold feet on the very day of every tournament. I just glared at her.

“Oh no no, we won’t. We’re here now, and we must go on.” I responded anti-calmly.

“But--- We’re going to die here!”

“Enough of your schemes. This is your idea, remind you.”

“AHHH, what have I done, what have I done!” Cookie moaned, banging her head repeatedly against my back, her complaints drowned by the massive noise generated exuberantly by this irksome mob.

“There, there my friends,” the mouse shrieked in a dizzyingly high-pitched sound, urging the crowd to stay quiet so his voice would solely ring irritably in my ears. “Without further ado, I shall now read the rules and regulations to follow for this event!”

Finally, I almost shouted. This is taking far too long, I thought to myself.

“First! Participants should be composed of two players of different jobs. They must form a party exclusively for the both of them.” Right, we’re at it.

“Second rule! No pets allowed for jobs that are able to summon them. This game is strictly for humans only!” Okay, this is a ridiculous rule for me, but ‘tis may be beneficial.

“Third one! No back-ups are allowed! The two players shall stay with each other until the end of the tournament, or until they are out of the face-off ladder!” As if, we ever have one, geez.

“Katie---!!!”

“Shut up!” I bellowed.

“Fourth rule!” growled the old mouse instantly. “No third buffs are allowed! You and your partner can buff each other, but strictly no buffs coming from a third party! Are we clear on this, folks?”

Everybody nodded and mumbled in agreement.

“Okay then, let’s proceed. Fifth! Hear this, this is very important. A party can win ONLY when the opposing party say that they give up, or, if the jury has decided that the opposing party cannot anymore fight. You are not allowed to attack the opposing party under these two circumstances, or your team will be disqualified.”

Oh my dear, this is really going to be a nightmare. Right now, I feel like fainting. Oh please, someone save me!

Just---! joking. I am the best, remember?

“And the last, of course, for one million zennies at stake… watch each other’s back, and --- survive!”

The crowd mounted in applause and relentless cheering. In another day, I would have simply loved this festive atmosphere. Not this time though, as both Cookie and I instinctively know where we are exactly heading. A slaughter house.

Then I heard someone spoke softly right to my ears. All my neurons went to a freeze, as I can almost feel the stranger’s breath on my nape.

“Thicken your skins and sharpen your blades. There are no rules in the game of spades.”

***

[greenymidget]

mooooooooooooooore! (parang panira lang comment ko but still~)

[Carrie]

CHAPTER 3: WE ARE THE BEST



I spun around in abrupt fashion, pulling myself away from perceived danger. Uncanny, but no one’s there. Except Cookie.

“D-did you say something?” I asked in quavering voice; heartbeat’s still like a Saturday Night Fever. Calm down, I thought to myself, breathing a little heavily.

“I said you look lovely in braids,” Cookie blankly answered, attention completely away from conversation.

“Did you see someone behind me? I felt someone’s here a while ago…” I patiently probed, almost expecting Cookie to say no.

“Hmmm… I did see someone…”

“YOU--- you did?! Who?!”

“Uhmm, Katie, do you know where’d we put the cookies? I’m a lil famished from standin’ here for hours…” babbled Cookie, completely out of topic and rapidly rummaging our backpack.

I yanked the rucksack away from her hands. “Answer. Me. FIRST!” I vehemently demanded while tightly clutching the backpack, pushing her hands away in attempt to steal it back.

“HEEEY---! Aaaack, I saw someone but I didn’t see his face at all! And he’s so quick I thought he’s just passing by!” Cookie scowled angrily, crossing her arms over her chest.

Certainly, I’m dissatisfied on my friend’s manic outburst, but I feel that’s all she can offer. There’s entirely no point forcing her to remember anyways. And I’m pretty sure the stranger, whoever he is, had no intentions on revealing himself. Yet. Even, at least, to Cookie.

And at any rate, upon using a few seconds for silent musings, what happened or didn’t happen wasn’t a big deal anyway, up to this point though.

I returned the bag reluctantly. “Well, thank you very much for helping!” I heard the blockhead remarked sarcastically, which I nonchalantly ignored while I turned to go.

“Oi, we have to prepare now. You can eat your cookies later.”

“But... w-wait! You---!” whined Cookie, stomping her feet forward with enough willpower to dig craters. Obviously, the brat’s still sulking like a wimp.

“Sorry now, okay? Will you stop whining all the time?” I apologized coolly, waiting for her so we can walk together.

“It’s your fault! You’re the one askin’ favor a while ago! Geez…” Cookie still hasn’t got over it yet.

“Owww---kaaaay.”

“Kyaaaa---- you’re really… argh!”

But, how do we prepare anyway? Cookie and I are not warriors for goodness’ sake; more like we’re trained to enjoy our mundane existence for endless self-patronizing and pampering, all day and all night. I have little enthusiasm for breaking necks or slitting throats; I’d rather be lying comfortably on a cozy sofa or smoothly enjoying a nice foot massage, while reading the latest subscription of Prontera Politics or The Geffen Guru.

And Cookie? She must be gobbling her favorite dishes from some fancy restaurant, or laughing her heart out on some fancy movie.

But alas! Here I am in this seamlessly laden, whimsical duelling tournament; perfectly overwhelmed by the sheer misfortune I got myself into; worse, feeling like walking on a rich red carpet that’s actually been headed to my own deathbed. Well in the name of fairness, Cookie and I tried to talk of some strategies or sorts of a gameplan, but I honestly admit they were too ridiculous or too-good-to-be-true to even carry and try them out in the actual rounds.

This time, oh gosh, I really need to be lucky.

“R-ready?” I whispered to Cookie, trying to be cool and calm. But failed.

“I guess so,” Cookie shot back, surprisingly in a more composed voice than mine.

“You still angry?”

“Of course not! I-I just thought that there’s no point from chickening out now. Y-you said so countless of times, we’re here and we have to go on,” Cookie exclaimed, but this time her resolve in the brink of falling into fragments.

“Right,” I quietly smiled. Sometimes, I really do admire this friend. She’s irreplaceable.

“On this side, we have the girly tandem of Katie, the Wanderer, and Cookie the Sorcerer!” the game announcer welcomed us into the arena, while watchers everywhere greeted us with a handful of fervent bellowing.

“And on the other side of the ring, give it up for the Bremhill brothers, Barty, the Shadow Chaser, and Billy, the Minstrel!” And the crowd went in frenzy state.

Oh shoot, a Minstrel. I guess we’re going to have a nice concert later.

I gawked at the brothers’ pair as they walked, I mean staggered, to the middle of the arena. They seemed a little off, kinda headbanged or something, or whatever.

Uhmm, more like, drunk. Well, should I have that to celebrate? I didn’t have time for the thought though, as I heard a piercing scream seemingly coming from beside me. Has the game commenced already?

“AHHHHHHHHHH! Katie, help me! He’s harassing me!” Cookie yelled gravelly, as Barty, the Shadow Chaser guffawed showing his yellowish fangs, forcefully pulling my friends hair. “Te he he he…”

How did he do that? He must have been so quick to disappear in an instant... oh sheesh.

“HEY! YOU stop that!” I shouted at the drunkard. “And you, what do you think you’re doing? Go ahead and stop them!” I snapped at the referee.

“Oy, you, Shadow Chaser. Please refrain from attacking opponents before the GO signal!” the referee commanded. But Barty’s hobby seems to be listening to no one.

Then I felt a soft prickle on the back of my neck. Uh oh.

“Hey miss, why don’t you gimme a wiggle? Wiggly wiggly wiggly pfffftttt! HAHAHAHAHAHA,” Billy the Minstrel softly chortled from behind me, his hands almost touching some of my flesh.

“Get away from me you douchebag lecher!” I jerked away from my position, moving some comfortable paces away from the pervert.

“KAAAAATIIIIEEEEE! WAAAAAH, it hurts, it hurts! AWWWW---!” bemoaned Cookie, who was trying to scamper away from the hooligan, but was knocked back towards the foul man as he gripped a handful of my friend’s long hair.

“HEEEEY, miss Wandy, don’t you look at somebody while we’re having a nice lil’ chat here,” the Minstrel snickered all of a sudden. Gosh, I wasn’t able to feel him approaching.

Now, this is all getting out of hand. I have to do something.

I shut my eyes and hummed a few lyrics, composing properly my tune.

Her little face, isn’t it a work of wonder?
By the eve she shines, like the moon over the sea,
Hath no man can make her his, she’s a wanderer
Oh lord fate, wouldn’t you please make her fall for me?

I ended my song in an almost inaudible note, my eyes still closed. Yeah, this should work. A Deep Sleep Lullaby.

Opening my eyes, I saw the Minstrel directly in front of me, mouth half-open, unwittingly staring at me like for the whole time, before falling flat on the floor, snoring.

That's what you call fortune's kiss!

“Katie that was awesum’! You just gave me an idea!” Cookie, who was able to untangle herself free from the madman, screeched several yards away from me. “Arrullo!”

Swaying her lavishly decorated magic rod, Cookie conjured a powder-like substance in mid-air, while the pesterer Shadow Chaser sniffed on the air stupidly. After a few seconds, the other Bremhill accompanied his brother in deep slumber, both now lying unconscious on the floor.

“Both the Bremhill brothers cannot anymore fight due to extreme drowsiness and over fatigue. Katie and Cookie will now advance to the second round of eliminations!”

That’s how we won our first match.

***

[Kim]

Galing! More matches please.

[Carrie]

CHAPTER 4: FIRE



It was a cool Sunday morning. I was lying cozily on my soft, velvety bed, not daring to move an inch, uncaring if the first and warm rays of the sunrise caused a slight turmoil on my face. Hai, this is where I truly belonged, on these feel-good, white sheets. I smiled contentedly, whispering in my dreams, this is life, oh, this is life…

“KAAAAAATIEEEEEEEEEE!” came a loud scream that could easily pass as a gaudy version of a Metallic Sound.

I jolted upwards by the sudden noise, thinking the house was on fire. I frantically surveyed the room, aware of any strange happening like falling ceilings or advancing flames, ready to crush me alive. I gazed at my surroundings – everything’s in order, until – CRASH!

My door rapidly swung open, giving way to a dour-looking female, hair uncombed, eyelids lined by sagging eye bags, and face plastered with charcoal.

“Breakfast’s ready!” Cookie announced invitingly, along with a wide smile.

“Oooooooh, Goooood!” I hissed annoyingly, allowing my whole body to fall back onto my bed. Sometimes, I hated mornings. Especially when they’re like this. “Leave me alone!”

“Hey, get up now, gaga! The food’s gettin’ cold!” yelled Cookie, pulling my pink blanket away from my still sluggish body.

“I know! I know! Now go away!” I replied loudly, shooing Cookie away from my room. Afterwards, I slumped back to my bed and to my dreamy reverie… this is life, oh this is life…

“KAAAAAATIEEEEEEEEE!”

“SHUT UP!”

...

Hours later, Cookie and I were back spending our time on our new-found hobby – sparring. After the first round, I have come to discover that everything we know and have could not take us anywhere in the long-run. We have to practise and train real hard if we are wishing to at least, survive.

“Earth---Spiiiiiiik---AWWWWW!” cried Cookie, but I got her before she could finish her spell. I hit her left hand with my whip.

“You should do something with your casting. Too slow!” I yipped absentmindedly. “Let’s do it again. I’ll attack first.”

“’Kay.”

“Throw Arrow!” a single arrow shot through the wind, directly aiming at Cookie. But, then she was covered by mist.

“What the?” I blurted out in a sudden. Hmm, this is quite a surprise, I thought and smiled to myself.

“Frost Diver!” Cookie shouted out of nowhere, followed by shards of ice protruding from the ground, padding up dangerously towards where I stand. This is, no I can’t dodge magic, I have to brace myself---

“KAAAAATIEEEEE!” Cookie called loudly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine!” I answered. “That was awesome! I didn’t think you could hide yourself in that mist earlier.”

“Meeeh. I just thought about it. Haha, and it actually worked!” Cookie rejoiced indulgently. “Can we eat now?”

“I guess. We’ve worked hard enough.”

“Ha! I want some seafood pasta and Albertan pizza, oh the Aldebaran sherbet was sooo good I have to try it again, but then I’d like to try those pastries the merchants over there shipped from Amatsu…” Cookie started muttering to herself.

“Oh forget it. Let’s go back to training.”

“EEEEH?!”

This is getting more surreal and dangerous every minute. Yesterday, Cookie and I received the news that we are heading straight to the third round of the eliminations – our supposedly next opponents have suddenly withdrawn from the competition for no reason. Well, I was honestly relieved that we’ve gone through the second round without putting up a nasty fight and enduring the wounds and the scars, but our opponents' sudden withdrawal has picked on me unnervingly. Why on earth did they just leave?

Is it because they already know what will happen? That they care more of their lives than winning that lucrative prize?

Or is it because they already know their chances and it would be pointless for them to continue, knowing they’ll just fail in the end?

Or is it that they already know…

“There are no rules in the game of spades.”

...

I shook my head ferociously, whisking all the unwelcomed thoughts away. I have to focus now. Time really does fly so fast, and I have to drag myself back into present tense. Now, Cookie and I are in the third round, going up against a shura and a genetic in this pair showdown.

It's all up to fate, really.

“And now, the third round of the eliminations has begun already!” voiced out by the game announcer on the megaphone, while the crowd roared in wild excitement. “Oh, our dear wanderer started running and moving away so quickly, what is she trying to do--- but hey, the genetic’s following her!”

I looked behind me, and indeed the genetic is catching up on me. Then I heard him say, “Cart Boost!”

Oh shoot. His speed was doubled, and he’s ready to throw those bottles on me---

“Fire Wall!” and a line of tall flames erupted several inches behind me, while the genetic, who cannot control his momentum, crashed directly to the block of fire. Still, it wasn’t good enough.

“Thanks Cookie!” I shouted at my friend, who was also running away from the shura. She gave me a thumbs-up.

“Hell’s Plant!” the genetic growled nearby, but I managed to jump away from the spot before a vicious vegetation could take a huge crunch on my feet. But, he wasn’t finished yet.

“Demonic Fire!”

I started to sprint away, and he’s following me, of course. He’s dropping bottles on the ground, creating huge fire that could easily swallow me alive. Why oh why couldn’t I do anything?

All of a sudden, I heard a massive explosion from the opposite end of the arena. Both the genetic and I stopped on our tracks to locate the source of the bombardment, and my mind went haywire – the shura has successfully cornered Cookie and blasted her off with an Asura.

“Cookie!!!” I cried, but my voice cracked. No, this can’t happen. I can’t see a thing; the explosion produced a thick smog of dust and dirt.

I lost all my focus and just stood right there, staring at the site of the explosion. All emotions came rushing to my face – shock, anger, distress, regret.

"No..." Cookie, where are you?

***

Now I'm thinking if I have to discontinue this one.. have to abuse my brain till it runs out of idea.