Weapon X-new Writers Welcome!

Deadpool-Issue#0

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Denny's Restaurant
Altoona,PA
1:34 A.M.

Dolores tops off the huge mans coffee after she sets his fifth El Grande Breakfast platter in front of him. She walks away quickly,since hes still carrying on a conversation with a small stuffed moose that sits beside his placemat. She carries the pot back and sits it on the maker,then turns her ample self to address Ralph,the cook,who's come out for a break.
“I`m telling you Ralphy,that guy ain`t all right in the damn head!”she whispers,wishing he wasn`t the only customer here.
“Man sure can eat”Ralph comments,turning at the bell over the door as it announces another customer. This mans thinner,dark haired,and very nervous acting. He spies the man by himself,and hurries over to seat himself across from him in the booth.
“Great. The maniac has a friend”Dolores sighs,patting her Clairol #45 Crimson Seductress hair.

Wade glances up from his fifth omelet,to see Jack settling in front of him. Hammer glances about,then tries to look under the Eagles cap Wade has pulled down over his eyes.
“Wade. I can`t believe this!”Jack whispers,leaning over the table some.”After 2 years,you just call me up like that!Where the hell have you been?You do realize you went A.W.O.L.,right?”Jack asks,sliding his glasses up his nose as Dolores brings him a menu. He darts the waitress a quick look.
“I`ll have what he`s having”Hammer tells her,and she flips him a “whatever”glance and walks off.
“You didn`t say hello to Edward”Wade says around a mouth of egg and potato. Jack draws back a space,a look of confusion on his face.
“Wade,listen.I could get courtmartialed just being here. Now I don`t know where you`ve been since you dropped out of S.O.C.,but man,they are gunning for you! Marine Corp Captains don`t just disappear. Especially USMC Special Forces ones!”

“See,this is why Eddie gets offended. He`s come all the way from Canada,and yet you damn Americans can`t say hey to a moose”Wade responds. Jack sighs,and tries once more.
“Wade,what the hell happened to you man?What happened to your face?What happened to Deadpool,leader of the Jarheads top S.O.C. Unit?”.Wade lifts his face from his meal,and pins Sgt.Major Hammer with his cold brown stare.
“I got cancer Sergeant Weasel”he says flatly,rearranging Eddie the Moose closer to his plate.”Moose like eggs. Is it moose when it`s one?Whats a plural moose?Mooses?Moosed?”.Jack sits back as his coffee arrives,and looks at the man who helped him get through basic all those years ago. The man who got him his place in the new S.O.C.unit as a computer programmer and special weapons expert. The man who up until 2 years ago was as freakin` Bo-Yah as any Marine Jack had ever met.

“Wade,listen to me,okay?Please tell me where the hell you`ve been!When the brass know your back,they will skin you alive!”.Wade pulls the cap off,and the waitresses gasp can be heard across the empty restaurant.
“Hell Sgt.Weas,thats already happened”Deadpool growls deeply.”You wanna know what happened chum O mine?Fine,but make sure you keep your barf bag at the ready. Now we`ll fade to some really cool wiggly lines that signal a flashback....Oooo look Eddie!”Wade croons to the moose,”Ferals ready”.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

[/I]“All I can remember clear is after I arrived at the Facility. Wish to God I could forget all that,but I can`t Jackson. But here`s wheres we`ll start,hand Edward the creamer would you Sergeant?Thankee so much!”

Alberta,Canada
1 year ago

“Can you feel your huervos Logan?I can`t,I can`t feel my boys!!I`m numb from the waist down!That never happens to me!Ever!!!You`d think when the Canuckian government built their Club Dread they would of picked a more friggin` hospitable locale for just such an occasion!You know,when the poor McNutleys who volunteered and or were hornswaggled for the illustrious Weapon X program finally lost all their raisinette`s and.........Raisenettes,Mmmmmm.I love Raisenettes!!It`s a perfect little licentious combination of puckered grapes and rich,creamy chocolate!!Food porn,oh yeah. Of course the raisins are the women. Mmmmm,women,all sweet and plump,then you cover them with chocolate and...”.
Logan turns to Wade and raises a lip.
“Shut up Wilson!!How the hell we supposed ta know if the Legion`s close with your damn gums bumpin`?!?”.Wade crosses his arms over his bare,scarred chest and scowls at Wolverine.
“Well excuse me for trying to occupy our minds while we slowly die of hypothermia,starvation and horniness!!!I`m a married man!!I have needs that have been long and well overlooked!!You know the last time I got laid???And no,the probes don`t count!!I try to turn a frown into a grimace,just like dear Aunt Marigold!She would be baking her gingerbread cookies and smack my widdle head and she`d say,”Herman!”
“Yer name`s Wade asswipe!”

“I know.”Herman”,she`d say”Never let your hooters get too close to the flame!”.<Sniff>I`ll have to look her up when I`m in Akron next!”Logan stops in the waistdeep snow,and silence falls. Both men listening for the hunters,the Legion,who have been on their tails since the breakout 2 weeks ago. When nothing falls to them,they plow on,healing factors working overtime to grow new tissue as frostbite continues to painfully kill the flesh.
“Whens the last time we ate?”Wade asks,spying a pinecone under a pine tree and gazing at it lustily.
“Week ago,maybe more”Logan awnsers,feeling the loss of energy also. They needed some food to keep moving,or the Legion would be up their asses”Listen Wilson,stay put.I`m going huntin`.We need some grub,your about losing it from hunger. Well,ya lost it when they first strapped ya into the table back there”Logan crooks a thumb behind them,meaning the Weapon X facility they left far behind.
“I can only apologize so many times for the whole arm chewing incident!!I was asleep,and dreaming of breasts. Roasted turkey breasts”Wade begins to drool.”Or was it real breasts?No!No!It was roasted turkey. Real ones aren`t that hairy. Unless you count Aunt Marigold who had a lovely silver pelt across her....okay,bring back some Double Bacon Cheeseburgers. Supersize it!!!”Pool calls as Logans already gone,the thick woods hiding him quickly and efficiently.

Wade falls upon the pinecone,and begins tearing into it. Stepping back under the cover of a snowheavy pine,he chews his bite of pinecone and listens,listens for the Legion,for the hunters. Ohh they`d be coming. Rogers knew his frickin` stuff. So they had to keep moving,keep working for the border. After the breakout,he,Logan,Creed,and some others. What were they`re names,he ponders swallowing,and tearing off another bite. Oh well,who cares?The poor McNutleys,they had somehow gotten into the wilderness. Creed going his own way,he and Logan sticking together. Figuring two heads were better than one,even if they both had no freakin` clue as to what they were before they got into the Facility. But Wade had a few memories,flashes of things that may have been,or not,was he ever a calypso dancer?.But two especially clear memories had pulled him through it all. All the surgeries,all the experimentation,all the vivisections.
“Oh McCoy,you did so love those vivisections didn`t you,you festering nutsack?!”Wade growls deeply.”Why Mr.Wilson,anesthesia will skew the results!Fascinating,your liver is already beginning to regenerate!Your dickless if I ever get ahold of you McCoy!!”

The pinecone gone,he lets his muddled mind drift to the good memories,the ones with Carol. His wife,she of the azure eyes and safflower tresses,of the ass so damn fine a man would eat his goulash off it sans silverware.
“I pray I did”he mutters aloud.
.He can see her,standing beside him in the church,so damn beautiful,taking his name to add to hers. Carol Danvers Wilson.
“Course puddin` lips,I didn`t look like this on the honeymoon did I?”he mutters,looking down at his body,at the scars that Weapon X have given him. Tit for tat. We fixey you cancer,you takey this flattering appearance!See,all happy!!
The following one,the memory,is of Carol weeping on his shoulder,her stomach large with his unborn child. They musta been talking about the cancer,terminal cancer. That`ll suck the fun outta the conga line!
Carol had swiped her blue eyes,and looked up at him as they sat on a couch,somewhere.Home?Where the hell was home??
“Focus Wade!!”he barks to himself. She had told him then about Weapon X. She had heard about if from her C.O.,so she was military too then,he thinks for the millionth time. How they had been doing wonders with cancer treatment. She had turned those dewy eyes to him,and begged him to go see. For her,for the baby. And so he had. Under cover of night,because if the Corp got wind of him jogging to Canada to join some Canadian outfit,his wife and kid would be visiting him in the brig. For F`n ever.

Ahhh,I see the squiggly lines are coming back now"[I]

#~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#

Deadpool reaches across the now cold Grande Breakfast Platter Jack had ordered,grabbing Hammers shirt and yanking him over the food.
“Wheres my fuckin` family?”he growls into the face of this man whos name came to him just last week in Ohio.
“Wade,I...”Jack begins as the bell rings a few times. Wade looks up to see two of the Legion walking in the doors,Wild Child and Shadowcat both smiling at him widely.
“What a totally expected unsurprise!”Deadpool smiles,dropping Jack and pulling two massive handguns out of his waistband.”Wanna play”See if you can take me?”I`ll go first you whackers!!!”,and the rounds begin to fly.








[I]

This post has been edited by Feral Female on Feb 10 2008, 05:06 PM

Wolverine #0

As Wolverine goes on the hunt for food we see him thinking of what his past was like before Weapon X. His mind recalling those memories he believed where his.........

1940.......

A cabin in Canada we see Wolverine or more accurate the man known as Logan chopping wood as it snowed outside. He was not wearing a shirt and smoking a cigar.

"Hey fuzz ball you done with the firewood?" We hear a woman say from the cabin.

"I'm almost done." Logan said. "Let me get done this cigar"

Logan took the cigar out of his mouth and looked into the woods to see a few men approaching him and the cabin.

"This looks like trouble" Logan said before walking inside and seeing his wife the woman known as Jessica Drew was lying naked and waiting for him. "You might want to get dressed darlin. Company is coming."

We watch Jessica leave the room and go into the bedroom as we hear a knock on the door. As Logan opens it

"Lt Logan we are here to recruit you into the Second World War. Canada needs you and soldiers like you" We hear the blond man say.

"Who are you bub?" Logan said

"My name is Captain Rogers. You've been assigned to my team." Rogers said

"Fuck! Why is it every time I get time off I'm called into duity." Logan said

Jessica entered the room putting her arms around Logan. "I've got to go darlin. I'll be back in no time"

Present.......

"Shame I never got a chance to go back. Nor can I recall much further back into my past. Damn Weapon X." Logan said spotting a bear in distance.

Past..... 1942.........

~Me, Wade, Cap, Creed and a few others all had joined together for some group called the Invaders. That's when I recall first meeting most of these guys in training~

"Logan you and this man will be working together to get to Hitler" Cap said.

"Hey my name is Wade Wilson. It's a pleasure to meet you" Wade said.

~Shame Weapon X drove Wade mad. He was a lot prettier back then to. Not that I can recall his original face to well~

We watch the group go into battle as the war takes over. Facing foes of all sorts. Including super powered ones like themselves in the Red Skull, Arnim Zola, and Baron Zemo.......

"Wolverine watch out" Deadpool said.

Wolverine ducked as a soldier blasted at him. Wolverine soon unleashed his claws. Bone ones though as he attacked the soldier.

"Nice work bud." Deadpool said

~Shame those Weapon X goons gave me these.~ Wolverine said snikting out his claws in anger.~

1950s.........

~The war ended and I went back home. I didn't find Jess waiting for me though. I found something else.~

"GET HIM!" We hear as soldiers follow Wolverine threw the woods as they fired at him.

~It was those goons at Weapon X. They had taken Jess and done something to her to I bet. If I find her I'm not letting her go again. Those guys caught me in the end.~

Weapon X facility......

"Dr Cornelius we are ready for the procedure" Dr. Banner said.

"Don't worry Brian. This will not hurt him. Much that is." Cornelius said

The next thing I recall was getting put threw adamantium processing. I soon awoke......

"My hands itching. What did you do to me." Wolverine said in the tube as his claws came out. Wolverine soon busted free

"He's escaping. Stop him" we hear one doctor say

A shield soon as flying and stopped Wolverine before he could escape.

"Good work Captain. Take him to his cell." Banner said.

~I woke up naked as the day I was born in a cell next to another.~

"Hey you. You the fuzzy guy in the next cell. Have you got a light. Maybe a pie. Anything to eat even." We hear

"Huh?" Logan said

"Maybe some chimichangas, a burito, I'll take anything. I'm starving, I'm cold and naked." Wade said

"Wilson?" Logan said.

"Logan. Fuzz ball. Snikt boy! Hairy and the Hendersons. It's good to see you again. Not that I wanted to see your naughty bits to" Wade said

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Logan said

"There's nothing wrong with me. Ok maybe there is. I just need something to eat." Wade said

~Before I knew it we where both knocked out.~

1960s........

~I recall going on a mission with a group called Alpha Flight. It consisted of myself, Deadpool (who had gone mad), Captain America, Vindicator (Some guy named James), and someone named Sasquatch. We fought against another group of super powered guys calling themselves the Supreme Soviets.~

"Alright Fuzzy throw me at the chick" Wolverine said

"You got it. One fast ball special coming your way!" Sasquatch said

~We beat them and soon we where all heroes again. We where elite. Alpha flight was controlled by Weapon X. They used us in the end.~

1970s

~It ended badly though. We lost Vindicator and a few others in a battle with a group calling themselves the Masters of Evil. Had one of Cap's old foes the Red Skull leading them. We had gained more members because Weapon X had more recruits join in. More like subjects.~

"Just how many more guys we going to get here?" Wolverine said

"I don't know Wolvie. I bet they will start running out of names soon. I'm betting the next few recruits will be named after the seven dwarfs." Deadpool said. "Care for some food?"

"Your always hungry Wilson" Wolverine said.

~We got attacked moments after that. Taken into a facility. Weapon X decided to end Alpha Flight and go a new way. Seems they started taking over. Using me and others like me and Wilson to help take over Canada. I don't recall any of those missions. I bet Weapon X erased them as fast as they happened. I have no idea what year it is but I recall when we broke free of their control........~

a few days ago....

A mission in Alberta...... Wolverine, Deadpool, and a few others attack a building run by Doctor Bruce Banner.

"What are you doing here?" Bruce said

"We came for the files you spy" Deadpool said

"Spy? I'm not a spy" Bruce said

~Found out what he was after was files to create a new super soldier for the US to fight us. He himself tested it. Shame though what it was wasn't super soldier. Was something new.

"HULK SMASH!" Banner said in Hulk green form as he beat around our team

~Next thing I recall was waking up and Banner had helped free us from Weapon X control. That's when we made our escape plan~

We see the men and a woman running from a Weapon X facility and going seperate ways...... only to be followed by the Lethal Legion.....

"That's what I can recall. Now your going down smokey" Wolverine said attacking the bear

Days later in a bar........

"That's all I can recall about our escape for now" Wolverine said to a mystery figure.

"Well Logan. You've got one hell of a story. You better find Wilson again. Because I'm betting Weapon X isn't going to stop hunting you all.

Okay,ya blew me away there MM!!

Great stuff!!

And who is this mystery figure???

Shame ole Canucklehead and Jess didn`t find each other......or will they????

I'm glad you enjoyed it Feral. I thought I'd throw in some surprises. Logan's memory is a fickle thing though. There's some false memories in there to. What's real and not real? That's the question.

Mystery figure. I'll give you a good amount of info on him next issue. Wait till you see who it is and if he really is helping Logan or he's there to hurt him.

We will see Jess again to. I've got something cooked up for her. :)

Great stuff. I'll have mine up this weekend some time. Work has messed up my writing scheduel..... On the upside I won't be broke.

Take your time recoil. Me and Feral are a patient bunch. We just look forward to your work

Oh yeah,we`ll wait fer ya bub!It`ll be worth the patience I`m sure!

Hey Guys sorry I'm so far behind. I cant seem to remember what I was writing again lol

lol. You'll go after Recoil NV.

I'll pm you. You had not fully decided what you wanted to do yet

Agent X #00 (Behold my double 0s!)

"Who am I?" a man with long hair and a face covered with bandages asks. His eyes are gray and dead "My name is Stan Marsh I'm 10 and live in South Park Colorado... Hmmm? OH wait that's not it... Peter Parker? Clark Kent? I got it Alex Hayden! Well it's what I go by." the man rambles.

"Truth be told I really don't know my real name... I'm missing alot of memories... That Assclown Wilson. A merc not the Volleyball of the same name. Calls me Jack sometimes... Sounds familiar."

"Why are you telling me this?" a man tied to an armchair asks

"Well I have alot on my mind." Alex replies duct taping the man's mouth shut "Now no more of that Potsey." he tells him sitting back down

"All I remember is labs... And pain." Alex continues "Killbrew.... There's a name I won't forget.... Sick bastard pulled all my teeth out once...." he remembers as a woman walks in

"Ya haven't finished yet?" an attractive blonde woman asks

"Inez... Do I tell you how to kill people?" he asks and the man tied up wets himself

"Christ! Are you telling that story again?" she asks "You only did me that one time!" she bursts

"No.... Though I bet he would like it better." he thinks "Anyway... Where was I?" he asks and the guy tries to scream through the tape "Ahhh the pain. Thank you." he states

"What?" Inez asks walking in now

"You see I'm pretty sure I signed on for a good reason. This Program to make superheroes... That's what they said anyway. Well they gave me a killer healing factor. I can regrow limbs cool huh?" he laughs "But it had a high cost... Sanity and looks." he tells him "Not Wilson bad... Again not the volleyball. But not pleasent and real easy to remember." he says undoing the bandages Inez leans in closer as they fall and both she and the man in the chair wear shocked expressions as they see the large X scar on his face

"These cover me head to toe." he tells him "I mean chicks dig scars but this is ridiculous!" he says gesturing to his face

"Jesus... What did they do to you Hayden?" Inez asks

"Well one day me and these other two guys... Let's say Potsey and Dumber Potsey. Well we escaped and went our seperate ways... Ok so I may or may not have spent a month trying to kill Wilson... Not the Volleyball... Ok the writer is playing that joke to death."

Great he's doing it again.... Inez thinks looking at him. Alex believes his life is fictional that his whole world is. He's a complete lunatic but with that Healing factor and his insane abilities The Agency can't afford to lose him "Alex your doing it again."

"Huh? Oh sorry." he tells her and leans into the hostage "She doesn't like to know she aint real... And I aint just talkin about the doorknobs." he tells him with a nudge of his elbow.

"Well after a couple of years of trying to die... Stupid body won't let me. I was found by a woman Named Sandi... Ya know she never once has told me her last name? Anyway she manages this companay the Agency some might call us mercs. I prefer cleaner of the gene pool." he rambles again "They gave me the spiffy new name and Partnered me with a southern bell named Outlaw real Name Inez somthin... I don't pay attention." he says walking over "Well that should wrap up my backstory nicely don't ya think?" he asks the man who happens to be crying now "I'm touched that you feel my pain so intently... I tell ya what I let ya go." he tells him pulling off the tape

"REALLY!" the man bursts only to get shot in the head

"No but I can't stand a cry baby." Alex states walking out of the room he looks at Outlaw "Close yer mouth you look like a blow up doll I own." he tells her

"That was twisted." she tells him walking out "Gettin his hopes up like that."

"Life's a bitch... Then you get married and then you die and go to hell." he tells her as they walk out to a 68 Ford Mustang. Outlaw climbs into the driver's seat Hayden gets in the otherside. The car fires to life and Garth Brookes comes on only to have Alex pop out the CD throw out the window and shoot it without looking

"WHY DID YA DO THAT!?" she yells at him

"You know I hate that hick shit." he tells her as he puts in a different CD and Living Dead Girl starts to play and the car pulls away.

"Was that stuff true?" Outlaw asks

"I think so." Alex replies

"Think so?"

"I can't trust my mind.... It was tampered with. Know some guy named Banner helped free some of us... Though it may have been the green Giant... No he didn't have any veggies just alot of knuckle sandwiches..."

"How long were you there?" she asks

"Early 80s I think... I distincly remember a mullet." he replies "Perhaps a Poisen shirt... I may have dreamed it though." he shrugs

"No past and all those scars." she whispers

"I think it's better I don't remember.... Let me out here." he tells her

"Why?" she asks

"Just do it." he commands and she obliges he gets out and starts walking back the way he came. The car speeds off behind him he turns and starts shooting in the shadows just as a figure leaps out tackling him.

"Scream for me..." The man hisses hand around Haydens throat

"Pass..." Hayden says as he fires his gun again and the man rolls of him holding his genitals "Were always were dumb as shit Creed." he says only to get shot in the back

"And you never learned to look behind you." a woman says walking out

"FUCKER SHOT ME IN THE BALLS!" Creed shouts on the ground

"Not like you use them anyway." the woman laughs

"Real funny Rogue...." Creed says getting up "Now what?" he asks

"I'd run." Hayden says tossing a handfull of grenade pins to Creed and both he and the woman Rogue look down to see 7 grenades both take off barely dodging the explosion

"Where did that asswipe go!" Creed snaps

"Where in deep for not getting him back." Rogue states Hayden walks through the sewer laughing as his left arm starts to grow back

"There coming to take me away HAHA!" he sings as he goes

This post has been edited by Recoil on Jan 27 2008, 02:40 AM

This is awesome so far!

Sweet Niblets!!

Awesome beginning Coil!

Deadpool-#1

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Hammer drops to the floor yelling”Toss me a weapon Sir!!”.Pool hesitates for a second,and hurls a gun at Jack,who using the back of the bench for a rest,opens fire on the two.”Christ there goes my military career!”Jack snarls,keeping a direct bead on Kitty until she phases down through the floor. Wade then pulls another gun from his jacket pocket.
“Gibney you ugly ass sack of flea droppings!!Long time no bathe I smell!”Wade grins,shooting directly at Wild Child. Kyle leaps onto the counter,then flips to land behind Wade,claws barely missing as Deadpool ducks the blow. Pool spins,rounds shattering the large front windows as he turns.”And do you think you could get anything else pierced?How about a nice gold hoop off your sac?Oh my bad,you`d actually have to have a sac to in fact pierce it!!Let me see if I can get a hole in them for ya!Granted the targets are a wee bit small,but I`ll do my best!”

Shadowcat comes up under Hammer,he leaps to the bench firing downward at her as she grabs for his leg.
“What the hell is this Captain?!?”Jack yells,scrabbling over the bench while maintaining gunfire at the target.
“Kinda busy right now Hammer,but it`s a girl. Ya know,nice firm hooters,warm tight buns??Sound familiar to you Sergeant Major?Or has it been spank the monkey time since I`ve been gone?”Wade replies,as Wild Child rolls across the restaurant floor,then springs up,slashing out and catching Wade across the chest with his claws. Tearing deep into the flesh,Deadpool howls,spinning away from the other hand. Not fast enough as his back is shredded open down to the shoulder blade on the left.
“Son of a bitch that hurts!!”Pool growls deeply,dropping to avoid the next pass of claws aimed at his face. Ralphy the cook crawls quickly through the swinging door to the kitchen,leaving the whimpering Dolores behind the counter.

Hammer is leaping from one table top to the other,Shadowcat running through the booths and benches.
“Any reason these rounds aren`t penetrating Captain Wilson Sir?Something you might want to pass along to those under you,Sir!?!”Jack bellows,as Kitty finally gets a hand on his ankle.
“If I had her under me,penetration wouldn`t be a problem Sargeant Major!!Take the bitch out!!”Wades yelling across the Denny's as he slams another clip in and blows a hole in Kyles side. Gibney roars in pain,leaping behind the counter to try to avoid the barrage.
“<Ahhhh>Damn it!!”Jack yells as Kitty pulls him down through the floor. She then phases back up,smiles down at him sweetly,and kicks him in the face as hard as she can.

“Child,do I have to do all the damn work?”Shadowcat snaps,turning to see Wade both guns aimed at her head.
“Your such a bad little pussy,you know that?Did Gibney rub your fur the wrong way?”,and he grins a bit as he pulls the triggers.
“Well fuck!”Wade mutters as the bullets pass through her. She giggles at him.
“Why don`t you just come along peacefully Deadpool?All Trask wants is his men back. You come with us and on the trip home,I`ll make it worth your while”Shadowcat purrs,running her tongue over her lips. Wade cocks a brow and snickers.
“Baby,you couldn`t pay me enough to want whats in your panties. Even I ain`t that hard up. Well,I am,but a mans gotta draw the skank line somewhere!”he taunts ,watching Hammer behind her violently struggling to pull his right arm free.
Shadowcat snarls at the cut”Your times up Wilson. We`ve been chasing you escapees for over a year.Dr.McCoy,Dr.Killebrew,they all miss your wit so much”she smiles. Wade knows to keep her busy this way,if she doesn`t see it coming,she`ll stay solid,or whatever the damn hell you wanted to call what she does. They`ve played this game before.

“They do??Well I`m just all ablush!Like the prom queen was in the back seat of my Studebaker that Saturday night!”Wade smirks as his Sergeant quietly gets the arm loose and places the laser sight on her thigh.”She got what she was asking for,much like you Kitty”Wade waggles his brow as Hammer squeezes off the round. She screams,leg giving way under her as the bullet rips through.
“Bo-Rah!!Semper Fi bitch!”Wade hoots,as she lies on the floor bleeding.

“Hang in there Sergeant,I have a dog who needs his nose rubbed in the shit!”Wade calls,leaping onto the counter to see Child on top the waitress,tearing huge chunks off her arm.
“You are one sick ass mother humper Gibney!”.
“Eat me!!”he roars,dropping the dead woman and pouncing on Wade. His claws drive into Deadpools throat,then he buries his canines into Pools shoulder,ripping a large hunk of meat off. Wade brays,falling back off the counter to the floor. Kyles eyes go wide as a 12 inch knife drives clean through his back,Wades hand deeply embedded in the mutants chest.
“No you spastic throw back to freakin` Rin-Tin-Tin,you eat me”Deadpool groans,rolling Gibney off him,then emptying both clips into his head.”Bite me on the neck,who do you f`n think you are?!God Dam Bela Lugosi!??This ain`t Saturday Morning Chiller Matinée you leg riding piece of shit!!!”Wades screams until both guns are empty,yet he still stands fingers on the triggers,listening to the steady click,click,click,click,click,click,click,click.

“Sir!!!He`s down Wade!!CAPTAIN!!!!”Hammer shouts,and Wade snaps out of the bloodlust.
“Damn,guess I rubbed too hard. Look at the carpet burn he got”Pool says shakily looking down on whats left of Gibneys face. Wade sticks his guns back in his pantwaist,and stalks over to Shadowcat crawling to the door. As he`s reaching down to grab a handful of hair,Gibney moans,and the sound of the short-order cook talking on the phone falls to Wades ears.
“Thanks for the good time Kitty-licious!”he smirks as his boot connects with her jaw. She falls unconscious, back propped against the double doors.
“Sir,a little help here!”Hammer grunts,trying to extricate himself from the tile flooring. Deadpool steps over Pryde to take his Sergeant Majors right hand. Many muttered curses later,they work him free.

“Wade,this is unreal”Hammer states,looking down at Wild Child healing before his eyes.Weasel locks gazes with Wade then.”I have to get out of here Captain. Cops turn me over to the M.P.`s,I`ll be in the brig until I`m too old to get it up,Sir”.Wade nods.
“Get going Sargeant, I`m not draggin` you into this frickin` unholy mess”Pool tells Jack,heading to the front doors.
“Sir!!Wade,your family...”Jack begins,then the wail of far-off sirens can be heard.”You have my number Wade,call me.I want to help,if I can”.
“You can help by getting your Marine ass out of here Hammer”.Jack stands,obviously wanting to say more.”Thats a God Dam order soldier!”Wade barks.

“Go to Stone Bay North Carolina,Camp Lejeune. Thats the S.O.C.Garrison. Find Major General Fury. Do you remember him?”.Wade shakes his head no.Hammer sighs.
“He`ll remember you!Just remember Lejeune and Fury!!”Hammer yells,then streaks out through the front doors. Wade hurries and empties the till,then grabs Eddie the Moose. Tearing through the kitchen and out the back,he jumps into a white Chevy Citation parked in the rear,straps Eddie in with the seatbelt,and hotwires the car.
“Can`t remember the last time I scrogged my wife,but I can remember how to hotwire a Citation!!Wheres the God-Dam justice in that I ask you Eddie?!”.As the car turns over,a Clay Aiken cd begins to play.

BLAM!

“We ain`t listening to that all the way to North Carolina Eddie. Oh don`t give me that look!!”Pool states as they skid onto the highway.

The Radio had to go..... Great chap though changing the station may have worked aswell.....

Great stuff Feral and Recoil. I'll post Wolverine #1 on Friday

It would have Coil,but it wouldn`t have been as much fun!

Thanks guys,and looking forward to Logan on Friday MM!

Wolverine #1

We join Wolverine riding a motorcycle as he smokes a cigar and wears a cowboy hat, jeans, boots and lumberjack shirt. He was speeding as if something or someone was chasing him.

"Damn it what the hell was that thing!" Wolverine said to himself.

He recalled what he was running from as we flashback......

"Be careful Logan." we hear as we see a female say

"Don't worry darlin. I'm always careful. Just make sure you don't find yourself getting harmed." Wolverine said "Oh and thanks for the clouths"

"I wasn't going to let you run around naked after all. Not that I didn't mind the view" We hear as we see the face of Yuriko Oyama

"Didn't think you mind it. After all we did spend the night together afterwards." Logan said. "See you in a few days I hope."

As Wolverine leaves we see a large man standing there waiting for him.

"Mind getting out of the way bub?" Logan said

"Wolverine. The Captain and the Legion said to say hello and goodbye" We hear the large man say

"So Weapon X created a new super freak. What do they call you?" Wolverine said

"My name is the Juggernaut!" He said armoring up into an even larger man. "My armor is even stronger then your claws. I am unstoppable!"

"Unstoppable huh? We'll see about that." Logan said with a snikt of his claws as they came out.

Wolverine charged Juggernaut only to get hit with a fist and sent flying threw the walls of the building he just left.

"Damn what the hell is this Russian bastard made of?" Wolverine snarled as he shook it off

Juggernaut came threw the wall and picked up Wolverine.

"So you got a name other then Juggernaut big, dark and ugly?" Wolverine said

"I shall let you know my name. I was once Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin. A soldier for the Russian Soviet Super Soldiers. Weapon X recruited me and turned me into the Juggernaut. Now that you know my name. I shall break you!" Juggernaut said trying to snap Wolverine in half with his bare hands.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Wolverine screamed in pain.

We see bullets hit Juggernaut only to bounce off

"Who dares shoot at me?" Juggernaut said

"Why that would be me." We hear as we see the face of Captain Susan Storm. "Let him go you goon. That's an order by S.H.I.E.L.D!"

"S.H.I.E.L.D.? You have no reason to get involved! This is Weapon X department" Juggernaut said throwing Wolverine to the ground

"We have interest here and you are on American soil without permission." Sue said

Wolverine was out cold as the two talked.

Later........

Wolverine wakes up in a room alone on board of a ship in a cell.

"Where am I?" Wolverine said

"Calm down Sgt Logan." We hear in the darkness

"Sgt Logan? What the fuck are you on about?" Wolverine snarled

"You are Sgt James Logan one of the best S.H.I.E.L.D. has to offer. We've been looking for you for years. Weapon X captured and brainwashed you." We hear as we see the face of Jessica Drew.

"Jess?" Wolverine said

"Yes Logan. It's me. Do you remember who I am?" Jessica said

"You where my wife" Logan said

"That's not the truth. That's what you remember. We where on a mission together in the past where we played off being married. That's when Weapon X got you." Jessica said. "We need you to take down a man. His name is Trask. He heads Weapon X." She finished

"Why should I believe you" Wolverine said

"Because you know I may be the only one you can trust.,........" Jess said

Back to the present.......

"So I ran into S.H.I.E.L.D. and don't know what to believe now. All I know is I've got to find Wade and warn him about Juggernaut and the Legion. Also tell him about Trask." Wolverine said speeding away

To be continued

Mein Gott that was alot of flashbackery! I'm copyrighting that word.... ANy way great chap and that goes fer the both of ya's.... Hmm.... Mein Gott....... That gives me an idear.......

This post has been edited by Recoil on Feb 1 2008, 11:15 AM

Wow and Wow. The revelations. Great job MM.

Thanks you two. I gave a nice little backstory and some new revelations there. Brought some new characters in to.

Agent X #1 CAUSE NOBODY WNATED IT!

Hayen walks into the main office of the Agency right past Pete some old homeless guy Alex found and put at the front desk. He walks into Sandi's office and with a stern look states

"Bakers are racist..... Wait wrong train of thought..." he starts "But honestly white cake is angel food and black devil's food? Am I the only one connecting the dots here?"

"Alex what is it?" Sandi asks shaking her head

"OH yeah as of two weeks ago today I put in my two weeks notice... I quit... Oh and can I use you for a reffernce?" Alex replies

"Does this have to do with incident Outlaw told me about?" Sandi asks

"I did not cheat at that game of poker!" Alex bursts "What? Oh earlier today... Yes it appears my past has come back to haunt me and all that rot... And trust me it's rotten." he tells her

"Hayden..." Sandi starts

"I know Sandi but I don't have the time to do you proper... I have to go but thanks for the offer.... Well I suppose I could spend a couple of hours here...."

"No you idiot take this!" she bursts trying not to smile as she hands him a number

"Is this your twin sister nymphomaniacs number? Cause that would be awesome..."

"No it's an old contact of mine... He goes by the call name Nightcrawler. He can help you." she tells him and gives him a hug "Be careful." she whispers

"Carefull is my middle name.... Well actually I don't know what my middle name is so that may or may not be true... But honestly who would name their kid Careful?" Alex rambles as he walks out of the office

Two days later in Missoula Montana Hayden stands outside of an old church and walks inside

"LUCY I'M HOME!!!!!" he shouts only to smell sulfer "WOO! Who ate the eggs?"

"Guten Tag..." a voice behind him says "My name is Kurt Wagner. I believe we talked on the phone

"JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST! YOUR AZUL DIABLO!" Hayden bursts (See I can use other languages)

"Sandi warned me of this." he states shaking his head "My appearence is somewhat shocking to most I admitt."

"Nah there was this gal one time in Anchorage who looked almost exactly like a seal... Though I was drunk... It could have been a seal....." Alex rambles

"Ha! Come let me show you to your new quarters..." Kurt laughs and opens a secret door that leads to a flight of stairs.

"How very Wayne Manor of you..." Alex says approvingly as the decend down the steps only to find themselves in a very large underground facility with highly advanced technology. "Yep very Wayne Manor..."

"You must be Mr. Hayden a woman says walking up "My name is Talia Wagner." she says smiling and extending her hand

"An Azul Angel this time eh?" he says smiling and kisses the back of her hand.

"Don't get to attached to our daughter Mr. Hayden." Another woman says walking in "My name is Wanda Maximoff Wagner."

"Hey aint you the Scarlet Pumpernickle?" Hayden asks

"That would be Scarlet Witch and yes.... It has been a long time Jack." she says with a smirk walking off.

"Hey!" he says only to get stopped by Kurt

"No. She will not tell you untill she feels it is time for you to know... It is very annoying."

".... Fine. I can wait... For a little while." Alex says as he get's led off towards his room

Weapon X headquarters. Creed and Rogue stand in front of Rogers

"He got away." Rogers states "I see...." he looks to his left and nods to the groupd of robotic sentries "Five days in the box." he tells them "One meal a day random times." he adds walking off "Jack... I think it's time I brought you back myself." he says with a smile

Wagner residence

"ACHOO!" Hayden sneezes

"Someone must be talking about you." Talia says smiling

"If they are it aint anything good...." Alex replies
---------

NEXT ADDLEBRAINED ISSUE! Captain America vs Agent X!

Very nicely done recoil

Way to go Coil!! Man that was funny!


I`ll post mine soon,if I can hold out to build the tension.

Deadpool #2

20 miles outside Chicory County Virginia

Harry's Hooter House

“This may be the best story Ferals ever written for me!”Wade groans as the topless dancer begins his lap dance.
“Ya`ll thinkin ya want an extra ten minutes sugah?”she purrs,rubbing her sweaty body over his.
“You keep wriggling that well junked trunk on my lap like that and ten seconds`ll be enough!”he huffs,grabbing his beer off the nearby sticky table and taking a long cold pull.
“Now sugah,Ah wouldn`t be braggin` `bout that!”she laughs pulling his face into her ample,ample bosom.
“Mpphg grphff hmppghhg!!”
“Ya know it big man!Extra ten minutes is only fifty bucks. Whattaya say??”she leans back,tossing her pink and purple hair over her bare shoulders.
“I say the hell with fidelity!!Take me!!”Pool growls,pulling her chest back to his face. Somehow,over the blare of Alan Jackson ,he hears the sounds of raised voices and glass shattering.
“Know what an extra hundred will get ya?”she asks him,grinding down onto his lap.
“The first night off in over two years for Senor Righty??”

“You ugly little bastard!!!We don`t like your kind comin` round here!!!”is bellowed across the strip joint.
“No!No!!Oy!!Look mates,I was only wantin` a cold pint!!I didn`t mean no `arm!!I swear I didn`t!!!”

“No. Don`t do it Wade,don`t look over. Keep your face well planted in yon mountains of mammaries. Just hand Wanda Mae her hundred bucks and get well and truly humped!Don`t,don`t.”
He looks.
“Damn it!! Damn it!! Damn it!!”he snarls, around Wanda Mae's lovely fun pillows. Sighing deeply,he squeezes Wanda's fine young bottom one more time.”Keep you motor running”he tells her and pushes her off his lap,walking with a strange gait over to the four on one in the corner. Wade grabs one redneck by his collar and throws him across the bar where he slams into the oil painting of Loretta Lynn.

“So what do we have here,a scene from Brokeback Mountain?”Deadpool asks of the large man sitting atop a smaller greenish skinned dude. “Not that theres anything wrong with that,but 3 on 1 just don`t seem like fair odds for the little fweeb”. Wade punches the man coming at him from the right,then slams his knee into the face of the pork-butt holding down the little mook. Teeth clatter to the floor right before Joe Ridgerunner collapses in a heap.
“Damn raght!!”the thin man grins,and leaps to the wagon wheel light above them. He then proceeds to hark up some vile looking stuff into the face of some hillbilly with a broken bottle. Wade watches in admiration as the man struggles to pull the hark off.
“Now thats some damn cool shit right there Pugsly!!”Pool hoots,kicking a slob in the gut. “Last time I saw something that nasty it had my genetic code in it!!”.

As Wade moseys back to the luscious Wanda Mae and her running motor,the small man leaps down to the floor and follows Pool to his table.
“Assume your previous position”Wade says to the stripper,grabbing his beer and finishing it in one drink. Wanda Mae climbs back onto his lap,then tosses a look at the grinning man sitting beside Wade now.
“Ya`ll gonna pay ta watch?”she snaps,and he smiles even more widely at them.
“Listen Phlegmy ,I`m kind of in the middle of what I like to call “Getting my rocks off”,so why don`t you hanker off?”
“That was a raght fine thing ya did there Mate!!Raght fine! Me names Mortimer Toynbee,but most folks call me Toad!!”he pulls off his purple do-rag with a flourish as Wade stares at him blankly.
“Gonna cost more if hes watchin`!”Wanda informs Wade.
“Look Spitstain,all I did was even the odds,no biggie. Now get lost before Wanda finds her glasses!”
“Your a raght fine gentleman ya are Sir!!Raght fine!!”Toad beams at Wade,then leans close to whisper in his ear,”You be one of us then?”


“I tend to swim the other stream if thats what your asking,”Pool motions to Wanda gyrating on his lap,looking at her watch behind his bald head.
“What? Blimey!!Ah ain`t askin` that mate!!Har-Har!!! Your a raght funny cracker you are!!”Toad laughs aloud,slapping Pool on the shoulder. “I was askin` if your a...”,Toad glances about nervously,”A mutie.”
“Not to my knowledge,I think I`m Democrat”Wade comments with a glare at the chuckling man. Suddenly the barrel of a shotgun is placed behind Deadpools ear from behind. Wanda doesn`t move,just cracks her gum and jiggles her money makers.
“<Sigh> Let me guess,your the owner of this fine establishment,Harry I should imagine, and your giving me and my ugly assed mutie buddy 10 seconds to get the hell out or your gonna fill me so full of lead the Chinese`ll be making Barbie's outta me?”Wade questions with resignation.
“Let`s make it 20 just to be socialable you hideous bastard!”the large,bald Harry growls down,as his regulars are gathered about him,beaten and bloody. Wade tosses a quick look at Toad,who`s watching him with wide eyes. Pool shakes his head,and slowly goes to rise,Wanda standing in front of him with her hand out.
“Heres twenty for your time”Pool hands the stripper a wad of ones,and grabbing his Walkers Bay Chronicles ball-cap off the grimy table,walks out the door,Toad leaping out hurriedly behind him.

As Pool gets to the Citation,Mort has jumped to the roof and hunkers down,smiling at Wade with great glee.
“What the hell do you want!?”Deadpool growls,staring at the odd man.
“I was thinking,you and me,we ain`t all that different Guvnor. Looks lake both of us done got the bugger when they `anded out the looks. Figure you and me,we could be mates!!”Toad implores.
“I don`t do mates,sorry Fugly. I got a wife and a kid to find and don`t need some piss assed,”the small man nods sadly,scratching at the large red T tattooed on his bicep.
“Christ sakes,get in!!Not the front!!!Eddie rides in the front!!”Pool yells at him,and the man leaps down with a hoot.
“Raght!! Oo`s Eddie?”Toad inquires,peeking through the passenger side window to see the stuffed moose buckled into the seat. “Oy mate,is that Eddie?”.
Pool smiles a kind of lost smile and climbs in,Toad jumping in the backseat.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~`*

Alberta,Canada

“Mr.Trask?”an employee calls,stepping into the darkened office that overlooks the main research laboratory.
“Yes?”
“We just received word from Agent 27 of a positive I.D., Wilson's been sighted in Virginia”he informs his employer. A moment passes in silence then Trask finally answers,tearing his gaze from the lab where surgeons are adding cybernetic implants to a new recruit.
“Keep 27 on his trail for the time being,I`m curious to see where he goes. And Dixon?”
“Yes sir?”
“This time I will brook no failures.”
“Yes Sir”Dixon responds,shutting the door quietly.

Very nicely done Feral. I'll bet Deadpool is loving you right now for that one