Ask Ganondorf, If you dare...

[Ganondorf]

Thanks to the efforts of one of your members, I have been... coerced into providing you with a place where you can ask me questions. Because of certain arrangements, I must answer every question you may ask of me, but be wary of what you say to me. Offend me, and when I break free of this accursed realm, you will suffer my wrath!

Now then, are there any here with enough courage to question me?

[LZ Angel]

Ganondorf, just how many people are you planning to kill if you ever escape that realm?

Also, what do you do in there? Do you just stew about Link etc and plot revenge, or do you do something worthwhile?

[Ganondorf]

To answer your first question, I have no real set number of people I shall kill when I am free. I only wish to kill those who oppose me, or ridicule me, but as I am currently stuck in limbo, my retractors have a habit of dieing in the interim, be it through illness, injury, or simply old age.

There are a certain few, however, whom are at the top of my proverbial "to kill" list. I am sure that you already know who they are, as this place is dedicated to them...

There are others, of course, but I feel it is prudent not to lay all my secrets bare. The element of surprise would then be lost, and I do so enjoy attacking people when they least expect it.


As to your second question, the only worthwhile thing to do in this thrice-accursed place is to attempt escape! Being stuck between time, between space, is detrimental to one's sanity, and in order to carry out my plots and vanquish my enemies, I must have my wits about me.

Also, being trapped in what is essentially a void is rather unfavourable to one's health. Staying in one place for centuries on end, unmoving yet undying, has led to my somewhat... portly appearance when I returned to Hyrule, only to find it trapped beneath the ocean...

[Cuccopower]

ROFL. XD

I knowed this topic would pop up.

My question: Why did you joined LxZ? Do you ship ZeLink?

[LZ Angel]

(I think he was just blackmailed into it......)

And why do you want to take over Hyrule so much?

[Angel Zelda]

Ganondorf, what is your relationship with Nabooru?

[Ganondorf]

I joined this forum, as LZ Angel surmised, because I was blackmailed into it. And what is this "ZeLink" thing of which you speak, and why would I transport it?!

Also, it would be "I knew this topic would pop up." Knowed is not a word. Neither is "ROFL," which I can only assume is some sort of acronym. As for "XD," I cannot even guess...


The reason why I wish to take over Hyrule is because I crave power. The desert in which I was born had only two commodities: a harsh wind and death. An ideal climate for breeding hardened warriors, but in all other regards it is useless. Crops cannot be grown in the desert, nor can livestock be raised there. What little settlements can flourish in the desert do so around pitiful oasis’, and if I were to house my armies in such an inhospitable place, they would not survive for very long. Therefore, in order to sustain the forces I would need to assure my reign, I must, nay, need to conquer Hyrule. That, of course, is the secondary reason.
My true reason, true purpose for conquering Hyrule is freedom.
When I was still young, during my first life, I merely wished to conquer Hyrule because it was there. An opulent society, the complete opposite to the squalid conditions in which my people lived. Its political reach was astounding, its military strength formidable, and its riches beyond imagination. I coveted all of those things, but that which drew me onwards was the Triforce.
The symbol of ultimate power! Whoever controlled the Triforce controlled the world! With it in my hands, I could bend the very gods to my will!
But then, just when I had claimed it, just when my victory was assured, the Triforce fragmented, and I was left with only one piece. And as you seem to know, the remaining two pieces attached themselves to the princess and the boy...
Now my desire to conquer Hyrule is tainted by the desire to break free of this curse that seems to have accompanied my piece of the Triforce. I cannot die, so long as I have it, and yet I cannot live, as the other two bearers strive to undo me whenever I manage to free myself. Time and again they stop me, no matter what I do, now matter what incarnation, and so I conquer the land they love so much, if only so they may feel and ounce of the suffering they have put me through!

Also, the only relationship I have with Nabooru is that she is a Gerudo, just as I am. Aside from that, I have no use for a traitor who would side with a princess rather than obey her King.

[LZ Angel]

Well, she does technically work for Zelda first, being the Spirit Sage and all.......so she had every reason to side for Zelda rather than you.

As for zelink, I think what we meant to ask was do you believe that Link and Zelda are a romantic couple in any/all of their various incarnations? Certain dialogue of yours in the games leads us to believe so, so we'd like to hear your personal opinion

[Alantie]

Greetings, Evil King!



So, out of sheer curiosity, I wonder what it is you like to do in your spare time when you aren't plotting the demise of our Hero and Princess, and our beloved Hyrule. Do you have any hobbies? Girlfriends? Inquiring minds want to know!

[Link]

Hey, Ganon, how does it feel to get your hairy backside whooped time and time again by yours truly? :blows kiss:

[LZ Angel]

Link...what did I say about provoking Ganondorf?

Well, honestly, go for it, but just don't destroy everything when you beat him again....

[CrazygurlMadness]

Well, you can't expect him to stand by and not rub things in his archenemy's face...

I have a question, O Mighty Evil One:

Is the glass half-empty or half-full? Does it even exist??

If I wasn't so pathetically infatuated with Link, you'd be my hero. Just thought you should know that, not that it's going to do you any good.

:CACKLE:

:THUNDERCLAP:

[Princess Zelda]

Ganon dear, may I poke you? I brought a Deku Stick along for the occasion-see?

*poke*

*poke*

*poke*

Oh, are you getting annoyed?

[Ganondorf]

BOY!! AS SOON AS I AM FREE OF THIS PLACE, I SHALL REND YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!

And if you poke me once more, Princess, I shall set your pretty little head on fire!

Now, to the people with actual questions…

LZ Angel, because we share a link through the Triforce, whenever I free myself I closely monitor both Link and Zelda, for they are the only ones who have the power to stop me. And through all my observations, through all of their incarnations, they remain bleeding-hearted fools who would do just about anything for each other. As far as I am concerned, they may as well be joined at the hip, for all of the devotion they show one another.

Alantie, when one is taking over a kingdom, one has no time for the opposite sex. As for hobbies, I enjoy practicing combat or magic techniques, horseback riding through the desert at night, reading, honing my weapons, listening to good music (none of this “pop” music that comes through the void from your world), and cooking.

When nearly everyone fears you, it is nigh on impossible to find a chef who won’t run away screaming when you ask for a serving of Farareej Mashwi. Therefore, I’ve taken to cooking for myself.

CrazygurlMadness, I appreciate the esteem in which you hold me, though you are far from the first, nor the last, to be infatuated with Link. As to your question, we are each the glass, and as such it is up to each of us what we fill it with, and what we empty it of.

That may be beyond your comprehension, Boy, but I will tell you that it has nothing to do with biological functions. Go run and ask your Princess, for she, at least, would understand.

[Princess Zelda]

Oh? Two compliments to me? "Pretty"? More intelligent than Link? (of course it's true)

I would almost say you're being nice...

And no, we are not joined at the hips, Ganny. That would be Siamese Gerudo Twins that you were thinking of...

*poke*