Second Chapter of OOT Rewrite, Please Review.

[Dirty Harry]

Chapter 2-Innocence

Link emerged from the Great Deku Tree, the rest of the Kokiri following him solemnly. From the kid who was once unnoticed, Link was now the temporary leader.

What a change there's been. I'm a leader now! Link looked at the solemn group of children that surrounded him, all looking at him, as though waiting for some kind of magical signal he would give.

“Link...” The Great Deku Tree's voice rumbled out, far weaker than it once had been. “My power wanes...just as every moon must set, to be replaced by a new one, so must I fade away. But do not despair. I shall return to you.”

“But now...” the Tree paused, and Link looked up at it again. Its wise, ancient face was lined with sadness. Does he know? Does he know that I murdered?

“Link, you are not one of us.” The Great Deku Tree had gone into a totally new, and shocking topic. Link stared at the Tree in shock, as the aging plant slowly seemed to nod assent at what it had said.

“You are a Hylian, not a Kokiri.” The Great Deku Tree looked at Link sadly, as though it wanted to caress the poor boy, who was being stripped of everything, slowly, ever so slowly.

“I...I hve a...” Link struggled to say the word. He was dressed, in green, just like a Kokiri person, and he had a fairy. “How can I not be...?”

“Your mother came into the forest wanting us to shelter you while you grew up. She died, and we buried her, in a sacred-”

“We?” Link stammered. “You-you mean you all...you all knew I wasn't...?”

All the other Kokiri nodded, guiltily, and tried to turn to face one another, and then Link, but their eyes could not meet his or anyone else's.

“Link, you must understand-”

“It's so simple, isn't it?” Link was laughing manically now, his insanity causing the other Kokiri to shiver at his inhumanity. “You never treated me as one of you because I wasn't one of you! Ha! And because I wasn't a Kokiri, I...hehehehe...so you all decided that was right, did you? You thought I should be kept in the dark?”

Link's accusations rang through the air, again and again tearing into every Kokiri. They all bowed their heads, as though trying to justify their actions in some manner, but being unable to.

“Link, we're sorry, we just thought-”

“Link, please, understand-”

“Link, don't say it like that-”

“Link, this, Link that! All I've ever gotten is the sharp ends of your tongues. I don't belong here! You know it! I know it now, too! This was never my home! It's time I moved on! So I'm going!” Link yelled to the gathered crowd, and stormed off, leaving a bunch of guilty Kokiri to stare solemnly at the ground.

“The Great Deku Tree!” One of the Kokiri suddenly pointed, and indeed; the colour of the Great Deku Tree slowly faded into a dull grey. The immense power leaked out of the old tree, all over the forest, permeating it with a life force stronger than any known to their world. And then, it disappeared. For many ages to come, that kind of life force would never appear again.


“Link! Link!” Link was already running out of his house, a few hastily packed rolls for supplies in a small backpack. Navi trailed behind him, a glowing ball of light that trailed him, just as his murders had trailed him. “Link! Please, stop!”

The boy slowed his pace, the pace of a haunted man running from his crimes. He halted altogether, and fell to his knees, and tears leaked out, wracking sobs causing his whole body to shudder. Two hands held his shaking body, and a face, wreathed with light, loomed out of the darkness that surrounded him. Slowly, the world he was in restored itself, and the shadows that had consumed the air left his mind.

“Link, it’s alright...it’s alright...” Saria’s soothing voice calmed Link’s pain and anguish, and stifled his sobbing. “Link, you’re not a murderer. Monsters, they’re...you will understand in time...”

“Why am I not a murderer, Saria? I killed them! They had lives, and I killed them!” Link’s shouting rose again, and his self-accusations burnt the truth, and etched it into his heart.

“You’re not, but I can’t explain now. You’ve got to learn it yourself. No matter what I say, you won’t believe me. It will tear you up. So you’ve got to learn, what you are, who you are, and the truth about yourself, without me.” Saria began to cry too, as she held her best friend for twelve years.

“Link, it’s a big world, outside the forest. You’ll see many things; mountains, rivers, deserts, towns. You’ll come back here, someday.” Saria’s own strength of will began to fade, as she too succumbed to the grief of parting with someone that she’d loved. “But I might not recognise you anymore.”

“Link, the ten years that we spent together, while I cared for you in the forest, they were the happiest ten years of my life. I just wanted to say thank you, for being my friend, when the rest of us pushed you away.”

“What do you mean? I should be thanking you...” Link was crying too, the tears rolling down his cheeks, as he held Saria’s head to his chest. “You were my only friend, even though everyone else pushed me away...and you could’ve been like them, but you weren’t...”

“Link, you could’ve pushed me away, thought I was like the rest of them, and just refused to be close to anyone...” Saria smiled, despite her sadness, and stepped away from Link. They were standing on a wooden bridge; their feet had taken them there, as they’d cried, and she stood on one side, and he on another. “But you didn’t. You decided to be my friend, to be open-minded, and smile through all the times when everyone else made you feel bad. And you accepted me, and gave me a true friend for those ten years. So, thank you. Thank you very much.”

Her tears flowed down her face, and the salty liquid fell to the ground, the wood of the bridge becoming damp from her tears. The two friends faced each other, and embraced one last time.

“Link, do you know what a mother is?” Saria whispered to Link as the two of them parted for the last time. “Do you know what a son is?”

“I’m sorry...but I don’t know what they are.” Link whispered back, making an effort to smile.

“A mother is someone who cares for children. I feel like I’ve been your mother for the past ten years now. But, at some point, a mother must let her child go. And this is the time where I must let you go too.” Saria reached for something in her belt, and withdrew an instrument, a small, beige Ocarina. She handed it to Link, and pressed it into his hands, along with a sparkling green gem.

“Link, even though we’re saying goodbye, keep this as a reminder of me.”

“Saria, I’d never-”

“Link, keep it. Please.”

Link pushed it into his tunic, the hollow wood cool against his skin.

“I’ll keep it close to my heart. I promise.”

Saria smiled, even through her veil of tears, and stepped back toward the forest.

“Go. Go, and find your place in the world, if you feel you don’t belong here.” Saria waved, sadly, her last words to him, not an accusation, but an encouragement. Link waved, as he watched Saria disappear into the woods.

“Goodbye, Saria. Goodbye, Mother.” Link turned around, and walked away in the opposite direction, toward the big, wide world.


Link had only just stepped out onto a patch of grass, when Navi smacked him on the head.

“Well, are you gonna congratulate me for staying silent that whole time?” Navi screeched, then perched on his head.

“C’mon. We’ve gotta get to Hyrule Castle.” Navi bobbed up and down, while Link was silent, staring at the ground.

“Link, c’mon, we’ve gotta-oh.” Navi suddenly stopped, when she saw Link on the ground, crying again.

“Link, what’s wrong?” Navi made an attempt to sound soothing. Surprisingly, she emulated the voice quite easily.

“I’ve lost everything. My mother, my home, my friend, and I’m supposed to go out into the world, and do what?” Link closed his eyes, unmoveable in his grief. “I might as well just die.”

“Link, no matter what you’ve said, even if you’ve lost lots of things, you haven’t lost a friend.” Navi landed on his head, and bending down toward his ear, whispered, “I’ll be your friend.”

Link smiled, his love of life slowly restoring itself, and got back on his feet, then looked at Navi, who’d flown off his head, and hovered in front of him.

“We have to go to Hyrule Castle. There, we’ll find the Princess of Destiny. And, she’ll tell us what’s going on.” Navi flew into Link’s cap, yelling a muffled, “Onward!”



Yes. It may suck. It has not been betad. It has not been completed. But read it anyway.

[CrazygurlMadness]

I've got a couple of things to cover. It may seem long, but it's just because I gave examples and I want to be as clear as possible, to help you. Keep in mind that this is a good chapter, and that the characterization was very well done.

Alright. When one character is speaking, don't seperate their speech in different paragraphs. I mean that, for example, paragraphs 3, 4, 5, and 6 are all part of the Great Deku Tree's speech. I personally try to keep a single person's 'speech bubble' together in a single paragraph. Therefore, I'd just eliminate the spaces in between, if I were you.

Of course, there are some speeches that are extremely long and would look tedious in a single paragraph. In those instances, I'd suggest not cutting it off at an action, and simply ending the speech with a period, no end quotation mark, and start with an open quotation mark at the next speech pick-up.

Example (off the top of my head):

He said, "There is a lot that I haven't told you. There will be a lot of horrors in the future. I must therefore explain why you are here.

"A long time ago, a man from the desert... blah blah blah."

See, this way, the quotation marks don't end and you know that the same person is still speaking. This isn't something I invented. It's an accepted writing convention.

Also, this is more of a personal note and a personal preference, so you'll do with it as you please, but I'd take out and modify the first person instances. The majority of the text is written in third person, so the moments where we access Link's thoughts aren't exactly needed in first person view. In this type of story, the narrator is omniscient and therefore can tell Link's thoughts without having to recreate them in first person.

For instance, instead of saying, 'the Tree paused, and Link looked up at it again. Its wise, ancient face was lined with sadness. Does he know? Does he know that I murdered?', I'd change it for:

'The Tree paused, and Link looked up at it again. Its wise, ancient face was lined with sadness. Did he know? Did he know that he'd committed murder?'

In this case it's not very confusing even though there are two 'he's distinguishing two seperate characters. If you're afraid of confusion, you can change one of the 'he's for the name of either character.

Again, this is merely personal preference and you are free to keep it as it is, but I find that keeping all the narration as a single viewpoint forms a certain unity to the text.

I'll finish up by giving my version of paragraphs 3, 4, 5 and 6, as I personally would have written them. Just to illustrate what I mean. Again, I'm not imposing anything onto you, of course. You're the author, so you do as you wish.

“Link...” The Great Deku Tree's voice rumbled out, far weaker than it once had been. “My power wanes...just as every moon must set, to be replaced by a new one, so must I fade away. But do not despair. I shall return to you. You must know... Link,” the Tree paused, and Link looked up at it again. Its wise, ancient face was lined with sadness. Did he know? Did he know that Link had murdered? "You are not one of us.”

The Great Deku Tree had gone into a totally new, and shocking topic. Link stared at the Tree in shock, as the aging plant slowly seemed to nod assent at what it had said.

“You are a Hylian, not a Kokiri.” The Great Deku Tree looked at Link sadly, as though it wanted to caress the poor boy, who was being stripped of everything, slowly, ever so slowly.

In this case, the speech was long, so instead of lining the middle action with any speech, it's okay to seperate it from everything, make it its own paragraph, and resume the speech in the following paragraph.

Alright, I basically reviewed it. Please remember that the chapter is very good. My comments are not on the story itself, but rather on its form.

I hope you don't take this too badly. I figure honesty is always better than saying that everything is perfect when some tiny improvements can be done.

That's it for me. The rest is up to you.

[Dirty Harry]

Lol! Thanks...I think I forgot some parts, so I'll have to get our little Princess to cover that when he gets to Hyrule.

I agree with your analysis on the quotation marks thingo, so you can bash my head in afterwards on that...

The first person instances were supposed to b italised to be thoughts, but they can be confusing. Maybe I should change them to one line?

But yeah, the narrator is omniscent so I guess what you're saying is true...then again it might add to more character depth in one-on-one?

How was the Saria part like? I had to put in something like that...and I really loved that part! So sad...ish sad...

Edit: Do you think that it should end here? Like, the whole chapter plot has been summed up, because its like the loss of innocence, and that symbolisation has already come to pass. What do y'all think?

[CrazygurlMadness]

Well, as I said, the changes are up to you.

I personally liked the characterization. It was a bit fast-paced for such a dramatic, life-changing scene, so maybe I'd add a tiny bit more introspection, but otherwise the basic ideas are there.

Also, I don't blame you for cutting some of the GDT's speech. In the game that sequence gets long. I always end yelling, 'CROAK ALREADY!' So it's okay to give the main narrative to Zelda later on. It's an acceptable way to novelize it.

I appreciated that you put Saria as Link's friend and mother figure. That's exactly as I pictured Saria's role in Link's story. Nice touch.

[AmayaSaria]

*squeaks* Wow, that was wonderful!

I'm gonna agree with CM---I love your characterization in this. I think you got into the head of Young Link just perfectly, because it the way he was thinking was...well, the way a kid would think in his (Link's) circumstances.

And the whole thing with Saria. Gosh, that was so sweet. You got Saria down very well, she really did act like a mother to him. That was so sad that he left them all. Oh, the little part with Navi, so cute. You're an awesome writer. I can't wait for more.

[Dirty Harry]

For writing this piece of fanfiction, I’m very afraid. I’m not sure whether this should be published; to be honest, I only felt real inspired by what happened on 9/11. I can’t say this piece of work is perfect, and it is definitely not true. It does not, remotely, give the feelings, the terror, or any other emotions that a person surviving 9/11 might’ve felt. It is, really, only a piece of fanfiction. And, in making it into a sort of AxC, I’m not sure whether it’s a bit degrading of the actual event. Thus, if anyone is offended by this piece of work, please flame me. I deserve it. But I do sincerely hope that this will never happen again; it can probably be recorded as one of the most horrible pieces of history to ever have occurred. Please, Read if you wish. If you do read it, review. And if you hate me, I don’t blame you.-DL

9/11

8:01am, 11th September

It was just another day. Athrun Zala stepped into the elevator, trying to make himself presentable for any clients that visited his law firm. He was one of the most prominent figures in the world of law, a specialist in civil cases and disputes between the big companies and associations.

His office in the New York City World Trade Centre was on the eighty-fifth floor, near an ice cream parlour. An ice-cream parlour, he thought to himself. I’m a lawyer, not Willie Wonka!

Stepping out of the elevator, which, just somehow, happened to be full of kids, Athrun briskly paced toward his office.


Cagalli Yula Attha was a caretaker for toddlers; she and her friend Lacus looked after the children of teenagers, or families from disadvantaged backgrounds. She’d taken the kids to the World Trade Centre; it was, after all, one of the main buildings in New York City, and she intended to make sure that the kids would visit it sometime. Besides, there was ice-cream there!

And I loooove ice cream! Cagalli thought to herself delightedly, but remained composed and calm. Then we can go to the window, and take a look outside.

“Calm down, kids!” Cagalli said, slightly frustrated at the children’s continual rowdiness. In an attempt to pacify them, she called out, “We’ve brought y’all for ice-cream, but if ya misbehave, then...”

Cagalli put on a pleading face, and walked up to Lacus.

“Please, Ms. Lacus, could I have some ice cream?” Cagalli managed in a childish voice. Lacus giggled, then, wearing a stern face, she pretended to scold Cagalli.

“No, Cagalli. You’ve been a very bad girl. And bad girls don’t get ice cream. Same as all you other children. Understand?” All the little children laughed at hearing ‘Ms. Cagalli’, their harsh taskmistress, get scolded by someone. Most of them thought Cagalli was indomitable and resolute.

Cagalli stepped out of the lift, when she bumped into the businessman in front of her. Muttering a quick apology, she began to lead the children to the ice cream parlour, but the sight of it riled all the kids, to the point that they rushed forward, knocking over a poor young man in the process.

“Oh dear...” Lacus murmured, rushing forward to contain the kids, while Cagalli quickly went to check on the young man.


“Whoa, hey, aggh!” Athrun was suddenly hit from behind by a mob of young kids. Staggering slightly, he was suddenly knocked to the ground. His briefcase flew open, and stacks of paper flew out, as well as other bits of random material. “Aww, no...”

“Hey, I’m reaal sorry, just the kids I was handling got a bit out of hand!” A young blonde girl, with a bit of a Southern accent, helped him to his feet. “Would ya like me to help ya clean up ya briefcase, ‘cause it is my fault that it went and spilt over like that...”

“Uhh...yeah, thanks...that’d be...nice...” Athrun’s social skills were lacking; as a barrister, the only talk he conversed in was a formal discussion about a case that a company needed him to take up, or what legal notes he could use in another lawsuit and when he could expect a solicitor to have them ready for him.

But a normal conversation? Jeez...it looks like I haven’t talked to anyone normally for ages!

The girl was already helping him to clean up, and she had organised most of his papers into what appeared to be a presentable pile.

“Here ya go...” the girl chirped brightly. She had amber eyes; the kind that would stare at you fiercely, and ask “What?” if you held her gaze too long. Like now.

“What? Why do ya keep on looking at me?” the girl asked, flushing a little.

“Huh? Oh, uhh...sorry, I, umm...” Athrun couldn’t find a suitable explanation. He’d just been staring.

“Ya look reaal tired, like ya never got any sleep...here, c’mon, I’ll buy ya a coffee, and we can talk a little.”

“But I-”

“No Buts!”

“I need to-”

“Won’t listen. Coffee?”

Athrun sighed. The blonde was too stubborn; any resistance was futile. Allowing himself to be dragged off, he was comforted with the fact that his clients wouldn’t start arriving until nine a.m.


“Hey, Lacus, could ya grab me a strawberry ice-cream? And a...hey, what kind of coffee do ya want?” Cagalli asked the young man, who was checking his briefcase, for no apparent reason.

“Um...oh, I’ll take a...cappuccino, and a chocolate ice-cream.” the young man said to the ice cream girl. She smiled politely, and after taking the rest of their orders, promptly went away to serve them.

“Soooo...what’s ya name?” Cagalli quipped, smiling cheerfully, and handing him his ice cream and coffee. “Mine’s Cagalli.”

“Umm...Athrun...” the young man sat down on a chair, sipping his cup of the warm liquid, before asking, “What do you do for a living?”

“Me? I’m a youth worker. I’m just helping out with my friend’s day-care service for now.” Cagalli licked at her ice cream, relishing its smooth, sweet taste, then asked the same question to Athrun.

“I’m a lawyer, Athrun Zala? I’m in the Times magazine for a lot of stuff, though...”

“Oh yeah! I know ya! You’re the guy with the really nice green eyes!” Cagalli grinned at the shocked Athrun, who shook his head in disbelief. “That’s what all my friends say about you when we buy the Time.”

Pretending to have a magazine in front of her, and fluttering her eyelashes, Cagalli imitated one of her friends, Miriallia.

“Oh my gosh! He has such nice green eyes, and he’s just like-”

Athrun just burst out laughing. A few seconds later, so did Cagalli. In fact, the stupidity of the situation was so awkward that the two of them couldn’t stop laughing for a while.


Come to think of it, she’s kinda cute, too...Athrun thought to himself, admiring the young woman’s petite frame. She wasn’t exactly short, but she wasn’t extremely tall either. If she dolled up a bit, she would look beautiful.

“You’re looking at me again. Why?” Cagalli asked him, but instead of blushing, she was grinning mischievously. “If ya want a date, ask for one!”

Athrun was starting to open up a little too; he smiled at her, and then teased the girl, in an attempt to become try and get to know her a little better.

“If I wanted to get a date from you, I would’ve asked already. Besides, who does want a date with you?” Athrun teased, in an obviously joking manner. Cagalli pouted at him, almost making him feel remorseful, but he just laughed, while the blonde stuck out her tongue at him.

And so the two of them kept on talking, the two of them exchanging phone numbers, and laughing about random incidents in each other’s lives. Until...

“Oh, crap!” Athrun suddenly gasped, as he realised the time. It was already eight forty-five, and his appointments started at nine o’clock. “I’m real sorry, Cagalli, I’ve gotta go, I’ve got some work to do!”

“I’ll catch up with ya some other time, ‘kay?” Cagalli called to him as he walked quickly to his office.


8:45:48 am

The plane powered toward the tower, its engines roaring as it aimed to smash through the tower, and blast through it.


“Hey, Athrun! Ya forgot ya jacket!” Cagalli called, as Athrun had nearly got into his office.

“Oh, thanks!” Athrun called, coming to collect his jacket.


8:46:16 am

The plane’s nose aimed forward, seconds from driving itself into the tower. The men inside began to pray, their red scarves wrapped around their necks.


“Hey, thanks for telling me! I would’ve forgotten it!” Athrun smiled, as he picked up his coat.

“No probs!” Cagalli said cheerfully. “See ‘ya around!”

8:46:30 am

The plane hit the tower. The monolith, the structure that represented all of New York, began to shatter, from there. The plane smashed through the foundations, weakening it, starting the process that would send the great towers of New York City into ruins.


On the eighty-fifth floor, the whole building suddenly shook. Athrun stumbled again, and held onto Cagalli to steady himself. All the little children began to scream, and Lacus made a futile attempt to calm them down.

“Kids! Kids, please, don’ be afraid!” Cagalli called out, trying to calm down all of the little children. “We’re gonna all get out, y’all, Ms Lacus, even this kind lil’ fellow next to me.”

Around them, chaos ensued. Total anarchy reigned as every person broke through in an effort to get out of the building. Quickly, Cagalli took charge, grabbing one kid, and heading for the emergency elevators.

“Lacus! Take all of the kids outta here, and get outta here!” Cagalli yelled at Lacus, who nodded, resolute in an instant, and began leading the children to the elevator. Athrun and Lacus followed, and quickly helped to usher the kids in.

“Crap! Lacus, there’s not enough space here! We can’t all fit in!” Cagalli looked around the small emergency elevator, then decided that there was nothing she could do, at the present moment. “Lacus, just go! Quickly! Get the kids outta here, now!”

Lacus’ eyes brimmed with tears, as she realised just how close she might be coming, to losing her friend. But she did not falter; instead, the doors began to close, and she did not impede them.

The two women exchanged one last, silent goodbye. Lacus’ pink hair shimmered in the elevator lights, and her blue eyes burned with the grief she felt, but the young girl summoned her strength and forced herself to relinquish her grief, and stay composed.

Then the elevator flew downwards, towards the exit, towards freedom, and Lacus cried.


“Well, nothin’ for it! Looks like we’re gonna have to get out the hard way.” Cagalli yelled over the ensuing chaos. She pointed at a door, where all the rushing people were going down, and Athrun nodded. Together, the two of them, hand in hand, rushed through the crowd, parting it was they ran through.

“I’m lucky I was in the army for a little bit...” Athrun called out, as he made his way down the stairs at a breakneck pace.

“You, in the army?” Cagalli asked, as she strove to maintain a steady pace with Athrun.

“Yeah! We ran down stairs a lot!” Athrun dodged past a group of stragglers, who were carrying a bloody and bleeding child.

“I can see that!” Cagalli said, as she passed the group. Athrun began to slow his pace, as he encountered a group of people, bloodied and wounded, with horrific burns and splinters stuck in them.

“What happened?” Athrun asked one of the men, who was nursing a bleeding arm.

“There...I dunno what happened! We were just up there, and then suddenly...”

“How do we know what happened? One minute, we’re fine, now there’s a whole building destroyed! All our offices! Everything!”

“We were on the ninetieth floor! The whole ceiling collapsed! I...I just don’t know what’s happening!”

The screams were intolerable, the agony, and the pure terror in their voices was evident. Athrun stared, shocked at what he was seeing, what he was hearing, as each person recounted an explosion, and then something happening, and then chaos.

“I saw a plane, it collided with the building!” one of the men shouted, as he limped down the stairs.

“There was fire, fire everywhere! And, I thought, oh my god we’re gonna die! And we, we are, aren’t we! Oh god, I wanna say goodbye to my daughter!” one young woman screamed as she clawed her way down flight after flight.

And then, in one corner, Cagalli found a little girl, crying, and holding a teddy bear.

“Where’s my mommy? I can’t find my mommy. I thought I saw her earlier. I asked her to wake up, but she wouldn’t wake up. Mommy always wakes up when I ask her to...so I thought that’s not Mommy. But-but if that’s not Mommy, then where’s Mommy?”

Cagalli hugged the little girl to her chest, as she cried, and Cagalli felt every hot, salty tear flow down the girl’s cheeks and through the fabric of her shirt.

“Come on, Cagalli, we’ve...we’ve got to go.” Athrun tried to urge the blonde to move.

“Keep on going? What do you mean keep on going? Can’t you see? This poor girl needs someone! I just can’t leave...”

“Cagalli, bring her with you. You can’t die, not now. I won’t let you die.” Athrun’s eyes suddenly flared up with an unknown, burning determination. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Cagalli lifted the little girl up, whispering that they would find her mother, and then they continued down the staircase. It was around the fiftieth floor that they felt another rumble, another vibration.

“Oh my god, we’re gonna die!” breathed the woman who’d wanted to see her daughter. “We’re all gonna die, somebody, please, I wanna see my daughter!”

“Shh, it’s alright, we’re not gonna die...” Athrun tried to comfort the woman, but to no avail; she began to ramble even more, under the delusion of an imminent death.

“She’s got this cute little smile, and this really nice brown hair with red ribbons running through them, and...oh god, just let me see her again, please, just let me...” she fell down, clawing at the handrails, and Athrun continued on, trying to ignore the moving sight. Cagalli was trying to calm the young girl, who was still crying, and they both moved as fast as they could.

Everywhere, the signs of destruction surfaced; men with their shirts ripped in makeshift bandages, blood everywhere, people burnt, or disfigured horribly. It seemed that the smashing of the towers, the beginning of their collapse, was the beginning of anarchy, and the end to peace.


10:28:30 am

They were on the fourth floor when the collapse began. Athrun could feel the rumbles in the ground. Everyone could.

“I think this thing is collapsing!” Athrun yelled, grabbing Cagalli.

“No! I’ve gotta get outta here!”

“I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die! Please, I wanna live! Somebody-”

“Wait, are you sure? Oh my God, I can feel it too!”

“My legs, I can’t feel my legs, are you carrying me?”

“Cagalli!” Athrun called, getting her attention. “Follow me! We’ve gotta get outta here!”

Athrun left the sounds of agony behind, as he ran toward a window, Cagalli trailing behind him. She held the little girl with the teddy bear, and the three of them charged out the window, breaking through the glass, and to the freedom beyond.

The towers collapsed behind them, and the force blew them forward, onto a pile or rubble. Athrun had landed on his back, a hard landing, cushioned somewhat by the debris beneath him. Cagalli landed on top of him, and he grunted as she used him to soften her own impact.

“The girl! Oh my god, the girl! C’mon, girly! Wake up!” Cagalli screamed suddenly, as Athrun held his side in pain. “Please, wake up...please...”

Cagalli cried, and, as Athrun looked on, it became obvious to him that her neck had snapped when they had landed. Athrun wondered how many people, had been trapped in the building, how many people had died screaming, buried under piles of rubbish.

“Cagalli...” Athrun said softly, but he didn’t know what to say. He approached her, racking his brain for some kind of comforting gesture or word. None came. The tears that she’d been crying, became his tears too, as they held each other, injured, bloody, dirty, among the debris of the wreckage, and celebrated their own life.

“I promised I’d protect you...I lost...my mother, when I was young, in a car accident.” Athrun whispered, recounting one of the most painful memories of his life. “I always felt that if I could’ve done more to protect her, and I promised myself I’d never let it happen again...”

“Thank you...” Cagalli replied, holding him, next to the body of the dead girl. “Maybe you couldn’t save everyone, ‘cause the girly’s dead, but thank you for trying...”

Cagalli and Athrun slowly, holding each other, limped toward the sounds of alarms, and flashing lights. And, all the while, the crushed tower was a testament to the crushed morale of the New York people. But hope is always restored, loss of morale only temporary, and even in the midst of all the falling wreckage, all the falling dreams and hopes, there is always a sign, signs of fait, trust and bravery.

LET ALL THE SOULS HERE REST IN PEACE...
(Junko Morimoto)


Read last line. That’s all I have to say.

I got bored. And I meant everyhting I said in author's note. And I seriously hope that it's alright. This is a piece of GUNDAM SEED fanfiction. So someone tell PH that this is Gundam Seed.