Ask Zelda, If Link can do it, why can't I?

[Princess Zelda]

Hmph! Link thinks I can't do a "Ask Zelda" thread!

I'll prove him so wrong! I'm going to fish out every single dirty secret, from the time that we went on that date, and he-

Alright, Link. I won't. Sorry...

Well, yes. I shall start the "Ask Zelda" thread, so you may ask any questions you wish. Other than any pertaining to my sexuailty, and my relationships.

And who runs this forum? I absolutely love this emoti-what is it called?

Emoticon? Oh. Yes, darling, I do love it very much!

[Paladin's Heart]

, I am very glad that you like the emoticon of yourself. There are actually 4 people (with the help of 2 moderators!) that run these forums, I being one of them. If you want to know more, look around on the forums looking for people with their usernames in Green or Blue or check out the rules section for a complete list.

Oh, and your emoticon had been wondefully made by the amazing AmayaSaria.

Back onto the topic, I think it is (safe) to assume that the majority of this forum are female, it would be quite easy (and more sucessful, sorry Link) for a female to ask another fellow female for guidance.

Anyway, my question today is what do you think about Today's society? I'm not sure about Hyrule, but where we come from there is a high influence on children by the media. For example, Rap music has been a big influence on children these days, with it's themes of Sexuality and the like. 11 year old kids are already trying drugs and having relationships with the opposite gender (hopefully), while when I was 11 I threw rocks at people.

It's a random question, I know, but Society is messed up and I'd love to hear your "words of wisdom" on the topic. (no pun intended)

[Princess Zelda]

Oh my! No-one knows what the Triforce is? My...who is you Vice-Principal? He thinks it's a gang?

Well, your society sounds very violent and self-deibilitating. From what I can see, I wasn't the perfect role model (only the Goddesses know how many different princes I was forced into marriages with...luckily they all died because of Ganondorf, that was one good thing he did) and I was a difficult child to manage. However, I believe that your society has transgressed a long way from just being harmless rock-throwers to mindless mongrels.

From what I have observed, most people today are not only influenced by music, but by their peers who provide irrational reasons to do wrong or immoral things. Drugs that hurt others, people who sit in front of TVs and pursue relationships at such young ages usually end up as people who cannot fend for themselves and whose heads are empty and mindless.

Major contributions to this problem are rap music and the media. Both of these mediums preach immoral and untruthful messages about the world today, and provoke many youths into performing illegal and immoral acts. I find many portrayals of men and women disgusting and manipulative of people's emotions and prejudice, making people believe something that is false.

Overall, your society seems to have degraded into something that is dying, killing itself by choking on its own technology and being unable to use new discoveries to proper uses.

Hyrule is fine, technology hasn't touched us too much. We only got these laptops by...umm...well, Link and I borrowed them from a Dell shop...and we borrowed the modem and the wires...

But my point is that it seems a lot of technology has destroyed your social structure. That's my point...

(PS: Dial-up is so slow! Link won't let us upgrade to Broadband! )

[Link]

Actually, I got my laptop from the Bazaar. But I got yours from the Dell.

And, Zelda, it's not that I don't want us to get broadband. It's just that there isn't any yet in Hyrule. You really ought to do something about that.

Don't get angry, now...

[Princess Zelda]

Not. Link, why didn't you tell me there was no broadband in Hyrule? I would've installed it already! Gosh! Goddesses, sometimes, you...

See? Now you've made me angry!

[Dirty Harry]

Out of everyone in the world that you've seen, who is your role model?

Why are you and Link always the goodies? Do you ever have an urge to be bad?

[Link]

(Not to intrude on your column, Zelda, but I feel I must be honest with DH.)

She is devilish.

Don't ever let her tell you anything different.

[Princess Zelda]

She is devilish, my golden slippers! I am not!

Oh, well, the time I pushed you into the lake was another matter.

And the time that I put some glue on your saddle so that you couldn't get off, well that was payback for the honey you put in my bath! Which I incited, when I...oh, shut up! I shouldn't be saying words like that!

But in all honesty, that's just childish pranks that me and link sometimes play. If it comes to things like saving the world, and sealing Ganon, we're all business. Unless you count Link's frequent bar visits.

My role model...hmm...that's quite difficult. You see, I've been brought up in a world where males are dominating females, and I'm always being saved and all, so having a role model implies usually that should be a second fiddle to men, and be passive and submissive. Women that I have met, however, like Impa, have served as great role models because they always stand up and take care of themselves. Women who actually prove themselves to be just as good, if not better than men, are in my eyes inspirations.

Who made this? It's cute!

PS: Any other questios?

[Alantie]

I have a question for you Princess!! What do you think of the other females in the games? Are they merely trying to steal Link from you, are they anoying, do they irritate you, are you friends? Also. . . what do you like to do in your free time when there are no royal duities or anything like that to attend to?

[Princess Zelda]

Hmm...do you mean Malon, or Ruto, or the others?

Malon's nice. She's been delivering Lon Lon Milk to the castle for awhile now, since Talon now runs the farm a lot more and doesn't seem to have a lot of time to get round to deliver the milk. Sometimes she and I go out to the Market together; she is GREAT at finding new dresses and jewelery! She's probably one of my best friends (though she does get a bit starry-eyed over Link...I hate that...but lately she's been getting starry eyed over Marth, too...)

Ruto is a bit bossy, and she sometimes forgets that since we're both Princesses we should be equals. But she's fun to hang around with, and if she's not being snobby, she's really energetic and loves to sing!

Saria is a bit shy...so I don't see her a lot. But she was Link's first childhood friend, and whenever Link goes to the forest to see her, and check up on the rest of the Kokiri, he always comes back happy, or content. I'm not quite sure. But it makes me happy that he's happy...is that a bit confusing?

But I don't say that they're stealing Link! They're his friends! He has every right to go and visit them, and who am I to stop him? And if they're his friends, then I also make the effort to be their friend.



What do I do in my free time...well, I usually go to the Market to buy seeds, so I can grow them. I had a little vegetable and flower garden, but Link ruined it when he first got into the castle...

Any other questions?

[Link]

What in Hyrule did you do while I was getting some shut-eye in the Temple of Time? It always seemed like kind of a mystery to me. I know you trained, but...

[Princess Zelda]

Oh...well, that's my secret, isn't it?

No, I started my life as a young peasant boy. Impa trained me in the Sheikah arts, but the village trained me in the common things that normal people do, such as getting water from a well, or catching cuccoos. Why did you have to drain the water, Link? Do you know how hard it was for me to get water for Impa after that?

In addition I decided to go through all the Temples as a challenge, to test my skills...though I was bested by the Water Temple; I had no Iron Boots!

Any other questions?

[Alantie]

Hmm, out of curiousity, Princess, is it true what the gossip stones are saying about you being a tomboy?

[Princess Zelda]

My dears, I do apologise for being so untimely in my responses, but duty does call, and running a country takes a fair bit out of a girl.

Tomboy? Me? That is a very interesting question, Ms. Alantie...or, do I call you Alantie? I'm not very sure...

Well, technically, I am a bit of a tomboy: I enjoy fighting (as Sheik; those skirts can be very annoying), being stubborn, and riding horses. I absolutely hate those ideas that women must conform to a man's expectations, and the inferiority of a woman to a man. I detest them; in my opinion, each women is just as good as a man.

So, to tell the truth, you must define tomboy, before I can answer that question. My apologies, dearest. Any other questions?

[Dirty Harry]

Zelda, are you still a virgin? If you aren't, who did you lose it to?

What is the legal system in Hyrule like? How do you decide things?