Ask Link, The ultimate advice column!

[Alantie]

Rofl. Link, I am surprised you are not dead! *wonders if Zelda is going to beat Link*

Soo. . . Link. . . . What is your ideal woman? Teehee, yes, I know, evil question, mwahahaha!!! And just to balance things out, a not so evil question: if you could be another race/creature whenever you wished, what would you choose?

[Lutearina]

Hehe, interesting analysis there, Link. xD

Hehe, Zellie, would you like the link to the original picture of your avatar? Cause it looks odd from the half of my silly paint-made signature.

http://www.deviantart.com/view/14850876/

There you are! Have fun, Zelda!

Now, let's see....May we ask Zelda questions as well...?

[Paladin's Heart]

Actually, Lute, Zelda has her own thread right here.

[Princess Zelda]

Just go to my thread, love, and you can ask me anything you want.

Well...Link won't be too rash for awhile. Not after what I just did to him. Link, what did you do at the markets last week? Come to think of it, what do you do when you go to the market? You never tell me these things! It's supposed to be a rela-

Oh. Right, right...sorry.

But seriously, Link! Tell me!

Link! Do not say anyone's name when you reply to Alantie's question or you will wish you'd held onto your Triforce piece a little bit longer.

[Link]

As per Zelda's suggestion, I will not reply to Alantie's question.

Let's just say my ideal woman is of the Hylian race. I'd give more details, but Zelda is glaring at me.



If I could be any race, I'd probably go for the Zora. That's not to say that I'd want to be with Ruto or anything. But they have an electric shield and boomerang fins ON THEIR BODIES. How amazing is that?

Very.

And Zelda, I go to the market to buy food, like normal people do.

Where do you think all those sweets come from anyway?

Also, next time you punish me, could we do it someplace less conspicuous? The guards weren't exactly comfortable with all of it, you know. I don't blame them, they were probably jealous out of their minds...

Ah, never mind.

[Princess Zelda]

Do you prefer me to use the whip or chain next time? Because you've been very NAUGHTY these past few nights.

No. Actually, I can't my hands on any whips. No one will give one to me. And the chains smell very foul, because they came from the dungeons.

Link, what books do you read? I need to get you a birthday present sometime, but I can't think of anything! Tell me!

[Link]

Don't say it so loud! You know my reputation could be in shambles if people found out you make me submissive...

... Ah, geez.

And, really, it's no surprise people don't give you any whips. They figure you wouldn't have use for them. You're a princess who fights for peace, hardly the kind to wish to injure anyone.

As for books, Zelda, I'm not a bookish person. I tried reading through all of the playing manuals and it just bored me to tears. If you want to give me a good birthday present you might as well do that thing you do with your...

... Heck.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

[Alantie]

Hmm, okay, here's a question for you Link: Who would you consider to be the person you are closest to. Who understands you the best?

[Link]

I don't know if this counts, but Sheik understood me well.

Okay, fine, Sheik was Zelda, but it seems like Sheik always had the right word to say how I was feeling. Now I see it was because of the Triforce of Wisdom, but back then, it seemed like it made plenty of sense.

Sheik was always one step ahead of me, and he knew what to say and give to help me out...

THANK YOU, SHEIK!

[Princess Zelda]

Hey! But-but what about me? Link, I thought I...*runs away to cry in corner*

Anyway, *dries eyes* I do hope that you enjoyed the new cap I got for you. I took all the effort to sew it for you!

Link, whenever we go to the movies, I'm the one that always chooses what we watch. So, this time, I want to know what you like! What film genres you like!

PS: Please post in my thread! I'm still waiting for another question!

[Link]

Whoa, sorry for the delay. Had to slay a couple of Stalfos. They were stepping all over someone's vegetable patch...

Zelda, I didn't say that you weren't important, but Sheik totally understood me... Besides, aren't you Sheik anyways? This is getting confusing. Don't cry, you know I'm not good with this expressive stuff.

As for movie genres, I enjoy action (especially if there's lots of it and bombs and stuff like that), comedy (hopefully mixed with action), and most thrillers. You could say I'm a consistent man.

Any other questions?

[Princess Zelda]

You don't like romance? Then what did you do when we went to watch the King and I, hmm? Did you sleep! Oh, Goddesses, I shall stick you full of needles like a pincushion, you inscrutable-

Yes, yes Impa. I know ladies shouldn't be using words like that. Yes, I apologise. Sorry...

Link, did you like the cap, or didn't you? You never replied to me...

And did you dream of anyone, while you were asleep for those seven years? Like...well, like me, for instance?

[Dirty Harry]

Link, can I ask ya something?

How do you keep up with other heroes who are in other universes? Like, say, Cloud, or something? How do you corrospond? Is there some kinda big conference, and y'all start talking and drinking beer and getting stoned or something?

[Link]

Weeeeell, excuuuuuuse me for the delay.

(And apologies for the above sentence. I found out someone made me into a half-wit cartoon character three days ago and have been unable to keep my serious since.)

Seriously, though, I've been extra busy defending the peace in Hyrule and finishing up the details for Twilight Princess. Zelda too. Which is why we've been absent for a while there.

Afterall, our prime duty is to preserve the happiness of Hyrulians of all races and blah blah blah.

Zelda, really, the cap was nice. But I must say pink isn't my colour. Now don't take it too badly, alright? I just can't look manly in a pink cap. I'll wear it to sleep anyway, if that can make you feel better.

While I was sleeping for seven years, I had a couple of nightmares, a lot of hours of deep and dreamless sleep, and a couple of I'm-growing-up-and-therefore-am-having-that-kind-of-dreams. I will spare you the details, but yes, Zelda, you appeared a few times.



As for keeping up with other heroes, well, usually we meet up for the annual and unofficial Convention of Heroes. It's unofficial because we casually meet up in a pub. The pub location changes every year. This year, for instance, we met up in Spira.

I don't know where it'll be next year. We were considering either Captain Falcon's hometown or Twilight Town. It all depends on who'll get the best drink prices for the occasion. They're supposed to send me a letter sometime next spring.

Actually, I make a point of attending every conference because new killing techniques get invented every year and the CoH is a great way to improve one's skills. But attendance isn't mandatory.

And, no, we don't get stoned. Drugs could permanently slow us down and mess with our judgement, which, for heroes of our strength, power and calibre, could prove to be a catastrophe.

We just get blind stinking drunk. I tell you, the party gets flying after that.

[linkxzelda1001]

Link, I have a question. In WW, what relations do you have with Tetra(a.k.a. Zelda)? Do you um... love her?