Ask Link, The ultimate advice column!

[Link]

I've heard of Cloud Strife, yes. Charming fellow. A bit withdrawn, but he's a good man. He and I once debated fantasy games together, though it was a short conversation (I had to catch up on sleep and he had some deliveries to do, or something like that).

As for our "hotness", I must say I'm badly placed for any comment on this. It's flattering, of course. It's always pleasant to be considered attractive by a large number of people.

But since this debate is difficult to analyze from my point of view, I asked an outsider, a friend of mine, female, btw, for her opinion. After discussing it for half an hour, we concluded a couple of facts that might explain my victory over Cloud Strife in the attractiveness department.

• The level of resolution of the game Final Fantasy VII and Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (3D reference) are sensibly the same, but Cloud Strife's hair (this is not my material. It is Zeld--um, my friend's) was not as realistic as mine. He was also surpassed a couple of years later by Squall from FFVIII and Tidus from FFX, whose graphical appearance were vastly improved and threw Cloud's resolution into shadow.
  
• Cloud Strife appeared only in a limited number of actual Final Fantasy games. Other main characters, such as Squall and Tidus, for example, have also perpetuated the franchise, whereas I have always been around as the sole main character of my franchise, since the very beginning. This is also the reason my graphical definition has improved and not remained as it was.
  
• If one brings up "Advent Children", in which Cloud Strife received a physical makeover the likes of which made him a contestant against me, I'd like to mention that it was a movie strictly for insiders of the FFVII series. If an outsider, such as myself, were to try and understand what, in detail, everyone is talking about, I'd have to watch it multiple times and read up on the subject. In that sense, though AC was physically impressive, it was reserved for a specific, initiated audience. Thus, more people would know about me than about Cloud's new look.
  
• Also, it does not seem that Cloud is on the road to evolution, whereas I will (hopefully) never stop changing.

I believe this is what helped in making me the "contest winner", though it is also probable that Legend of Zelda fans across the globe just want me to win more. They've done it in other instances, and they'll do so again, as long as I continue to be on their gaming lists.

[Alantie]

Dear Link

As you are probably aware, many in the LoZ fandom seem to have developed the mistaken impression that the fair Princess Zelda of Hurule, is weak. What is your opinon on Zelda's strength, whether physicall, emotional, spiritual, whatever?

Thank you very much!

~Alantie

P.S. On hotness, you and Mr. Strife are tied in my book, unless Twilight Princess does anything to change that!

[Link]

At this point, I am not at liberty of revealing any details regarding Twilight Princess. Let's just say you're going to enjoy the ride.

I'm a bit uncomfortable discussing Zelda like this. She tends to be all-knowing where talk of her is concerned (Triforce of Wisdom and everything).

I can, in any case, specify that Zelda is not weak. She's quite headstrong once she puts her mind to something. The Gossip stones know a bit about that.

I believe this perception of her weakness is based on the fact that she gets kidnapped by Ganon or put under many spells (courtesy of the same nasty evil king) from which only I, the Hero of Time or whichever, can save her.

However, the problem does not reside in the fact that Zelda doesn't know how to defend herself (quite the contrary, I found out), but in the fact that she tends to get immersed in a moment so that she can lose some of her usual perceptiveness. This does not make her dim. Actually, it's a proof of how vital and real she is.

If you had recurrent dreams which you knew foretold a great calamity that would befall your land, you'd try to enjoy every moment to its fullest too.

Zelda can be a bit naive when it comes to finding a solution. I'll give you that. But she usually comes around at the right time and when she does, let me tell you, she gets down to business.

And when that happens, be glad you're not her business.

I thought that Zelda's true strength had been revealed in the game Super Smash Brothers (Melée). Of course, she wasn't the quickest, but if you wore a dress like hers, you wouldn't be either (no, I don't know this from experience).

Zelda is an accomplished spellcaster, a keen prophetess and a determined ruler. She always seeks what is best for her people and is well-loved.

She is also very beautiful.

I'd like to say the sentence above was written by Zelda herself. She must have felt that I was writing about her. She is currently giggling above my shoulder and saying hi.

And saying that she'll kick the backside of anyone who says she's weak. ... That's unladylike.

[Dirty Harry]

Hmm...yes, we are afraid.

What kind of music do you listen to? Just curious.

And-how do you view other "Pairings" with characters of the LoZ universe?

[Link]

Music? Hm...

Well, I know this might sound as if I'm being "patriotic", but I really enjoy any orchestrated version of the Legend of Zelda soundtracks. Especially the remixes one can find on the net. Some people out there have real talent.

If you were looking for an adherence to a band in particular, I'd have to go with the Indigo-Go's. They're jazzy and relaxed. Then again, I don't know many other bands. I'm not as in touch with your world. I only know it thanks to this (highly expensive --shame on you, CM!) laptop. Do remember that.

And now, I am wondering how to approach the subject of pairings without revealing too much about my personal life (which, if you'll recall, is no one's business but mine. And someone else's. Ahem).

I suppose you're referring to the majority of LinkxMalon, LinkxSheik, LinkxMarin, LinkxSaria, LinkxRuto, LinkxNabooru, Linkx(anyone). Let's just say that I respect all these people I'm "paired up" with. But sometimes love just doesn't come that easily.

Look, I'll just go one by one.

LinkxMalon: Malon is a good friend. She's a fun companion and she's always cheerful. Of course, I care for her. But Malon has this dreamer quality that is kind of exasperating sometimes. All that wishing for white knights and everything. I should introduce her to the captain of the Royal Guard. Maybe she'll realise how futile it is then. I suppose there's no real reason to "eliminate" her but... Well, romance just never happened.

LinkxSheik: Well, as I said, I still haven't defined whether Sheik is a man or a woman. Either way, he or she is a disguise for Zelda. And I'm not getting into that, so don't even try.

LinkxMarin: Well, she was a dream. At first, I thought she was Zelda. But in retrospect, I think she reminds me of Malon more. See above.

LinkxSaria: Saria doesn't age. And she's the one who raised me. That's two reasons for which that's just wrong. I love her, but as a friend only. There are some things that are sacred and should stay that way.

LinkxRuto: Not long ago, Ruto and I were sitting back and enjoying a drink, and we were remembering her childhood crush on me. We're just friends now, though. We agreed that our first encounter resulted in a mutual service. I save her, she gives me what I need. Don't worry, though. I gave her the Spiritual Stone back once Zelda and I were done with it. So it cancels out and everything. Still, we had a good laugh.

LinkxNabooru: Nabooru is an acquaintance, more out of necessity than anything. We get along well and everything, being born fighters and all. But still. She's a Gerudo, and a lone wolf at that. Gerudos don't attach themselves to men. Sometimes she hints at attraction, but it's really more teasing than anything.

Linkxanyone: Leave the fans to their own devices. There's only one person I care for and that's... none of your business. ... This is getting tough.

Keep asking.

[Dirty Harry]

Have you lost your virginity yet?

And what kind of exercise do you do? Besides swinging a sword? And killing?

[Link]

As per exercising, I hardly do. I'm a natural at a lot of things. My stamina's pretty good, on account of my strange compuction to run around Hyrule field instead of walk. I can't explain it. It's like I constantly get nudged to move faster. ... I can't really explain it.

So anyway. I'm good on the cardiac side and my legs are developped enough to keep up.

Where musculature is concerned, I basically hone the muscles I need. Left arm for sword, right arm for shield... I do a couple of exercises to help me hold onto cliffs and pull myself up, so my whole upper body is strong. I also practice flexibility, for roll attacks and evasions.

I'm not built up, though. I'm just strong. I don't think muscles have to bulge with every movement to actually be powerful. Besides, if I'm not too built up, people (especially enemies) underestimate me. It's always an advantage.

I think the most difficult part of it is keeping my overall weight low enough that it's still easy to move fast.

So that's it in a nutshell. I generally make sure to be in good enough shape that I can just hop into a new adventure effortlessly.

As for your first question... I'm not going to answer you. Just bear in mind that I'm a healthy young man who has nothing better to do between adventures than sleep and who has tried to gather as much experience as possible in most fields. So you answer that yourself.

Next question? (Why do all questions revolve around me? Am I really that fascinating?)

[Alantie]

Lol, yes my dear Link, you truly are that fascinating!!

Ahem, anyway, I wanted to know your thoughts about having a LoZ movie made. Would you be willing to do it?

And I'm wondering, how do you and Nabooru get along these days? Do you hang out? Does she try to steal your wallet, ending up in a fight?

[Link]

Well, thank you for the interest, I suppose.

In regard to a movie being made about what has come to be called "The Legend of Zelda", I must say I'm unsure of how a person might properly express the true atmosphere of Hyrule. This person would have to take into account the various elements that form an experience, and this includes all those strange moments and quirks of the people of Hyrule. I cannot imagine another way to portrait this atmosphere other than a game.

On the other hand, I'm not saying that it isn't feasible. However I cannot garantee that every single adaptation would do.

Another possible problem might arise in the sense that most fans have different perceptions of Zelda, Ganondorf, myself and other characters. It would be difficult to find an actor or actress to play their given role to a point where every fan is duly satisfied. Again, it is still feasible, but rather difficult to envision. For the movie to be "perfect", every actor would have to be "perfect".

Perhaps the most sensible way to ensure that fans are satisfied would be to release a movie rather like Final Fantasy: Advent Children. Computer graphics may be a proper solution to unify the fandom. However, this can hardly be accomplished by mere fans and requires a level of expertise and free time equivalent to a year at least.

Which is why I generally agree with Nintendo: there is hardly a sensible way to make a Legend of Zelda movie.

And yet, some fan movies are extremely amusing, provide a lot of distraction, and show some quirks of Hyrule that might have been overlooked by any major producer. So it's all a matter of perception, really.

I haven't seen Nabooru in a while, though. She's been busy doing whatever Gerudo women do whenever they don't look for Hylian men and aren't pillaging some village. Since I last defeated Ganondorf, she's been leading the Gerudo, so I suppose she's just devising some new ways to steal and wreck and spreading the word.

She has stolen my rupees many a time, though. To my shame, I only realise it when she's already a dot on the horizon. Well, you know how it goes. In my defence, Gerudo thieves are experts. I can't specialize in everything.

Anyway, I believe that to this day she has stolen exactly 56 297 rupees from me.

Some day I'll go to Gerudo Fortress for my money, but until then, I'll just keep an eye on the money I still have. She's sneaky, that woman.

[Dirty Harry]

Speaking of fanmovies, have you watched the Legend of Link (Lol)? It's on the Zelda Infinite News (www.zeldainfinite.com I think). What were your thoughts on the movie?

[Link]

Yes, LoL was one of the fanmovies to which I was referring when I said that they grasped something about the Hyrule experience that most producers would have passed up on.

I must say the actors impersonating Ganondorf, Tingle and myself were most amusing, though the others playing multiple roles (Happy Mask Man, Zelda, Talon, Bill, "???", etc.) were just as talented.

I'd like to specifiy that pizza is a very human concept, however, and cannot be found in Hyrule. A pity, because I've heard it is the stuff of dreams (or maybe my source is sold-out).

And, between you and I, my favourite scene has to be the Milk Bar Latte scene. The others were also hilarious, but that one was a riot (and, according to credit bloopers, it was a riot for everyone ).

On the other side of the spectrum, there is also Hero of Time, I believe, which is due to come out in autumn. This movie is apparently far more serious than LoL, and yet it also seems to have captured a part of Hyrule. I will be sure to check it out and tell you my thoughts on the matter when I do.

[Dirty Harry]

I see. It's HoT.

Link, how do you feel whenever someone bosses you around?

[Alantie]

Link, I'd like to ask why you think the majority of the people you are closest too are female. Just something I realized the other day, you have way more girl friends than guy friends! Why do you think that is?

[Link]

I suppose when you say "boss around", you're referring to Ruto, Tetra, Niko and a couple of patronizing others?

Well, in the beginning it was unnerving. For instance, Ruto always trying to give me commands when I clearly knew what was best for her was a burden I could have done without. I'm not used to looking after people who are so completely helpless that they get lost the moment I turn my back.

Still, that issue was resolved eventually.

As for all the others since, I just let it slip. Sometimes I obey them, sometimes I don't. It all depends on whether I'm aiming for the same thing as them or not. If it works for me, I'll let them be bossy. More often than not, they can't physically force me into obedience, so I let them talk. If it makes them feel good, all the more power to them.

Frankly, bossy people can be annoying at first, but I usually grow to have an understanding with them. Tetra (or Zelda, actually) was a fine example of a rocky beginning with a smooth finish.

Perhaps they see that I end up doing as I please, and so they relax a bit.

If you don't mind me asking back, why do you ask? Do I seem like a submissive person?

As for the impressive number of girl friends I seem to have, well, I don't really know. I do have male friends, of course. People I worked along with (Darunia, Kafei, Ralph, Japas¯though admittedly he thought I was Mikau). But it seems to me that girls find it easier to become friends than guys do.

Maybe it's just my natural charm?

Frankly, I don't know. I've been asking a couple of the producers at Nintendo about it, and they haven't given me a very clear answer. Something or other about the fanbase.

Maybe they meant that at first, the game was supposed to interest a majority of males, which was why a high number of female characters was introduced, until Nintendo found out that roughly 50% of their fanbase (if not more) was female. Around that time, the number of male secondary characters began to increase significantly.

Still, your guess is as good as mine. I'm not going to complain about my current arrangments, though.

[Dirty Harry]

Which Link are you? I mean, there's the guy from OoT and the guy from TP, and then the one from Windwaker and...yeah...