It has come to my attention that The Lost Soul has been speaking about us in unflattering terms. It doesn't matter though, I couldnít tell you what he had to say. You see TLS, itís hard to hear you over the sound of how much of a BIG FUCKING FAGGOT you are. I mean god damn, your mouth has seen more dicks than Rishelís vagina has. You were talented once, I mean you never did much with that talent, and lets face it no one ever took you seriously as a world title contender; but still you had talent, and at first I thought it was that talent, that untapped potential that swung the pendulum in your favor and made Trevor decide to recruit you, despite my disagreements. Oh, there was disagreements! Sure we are a tight unit, but that doesnít always mean we see eye to eye. You were one of those disagreements The Lost Soul. Now I think that I understand Trevor a bit better I think. I realize why he let you in the group.
He was being generous. Trevor isnít known for such things so when he actually is, itís quite the spectacle. He was being generous. You were/are washed up, seen better days, your career was on life support hoping, WANTING for someone to breathe some inspiration back into it one final time. That is what Trevor wanted to do. Donít you get it TLS, you were a charity case. You werenít the last soul, you were an poor unfortunate soul that Trevor gave a hand to and said ďcome with me if you want your career to liveĒ as if he was the Terminator and you were Sarah Connor. You were a worthless homeless fuck who Trevor gave a few dollars to so you could buy your booze and snort your powder, all to feel alive for just one more day. We were the high end executives, you were the bitch ass secretary that brought us our coffee. We didnít need you TLS, you were an extra puzzle piece that served no purpose, no need, you were just simply there. But lets face it TLS, the benefits were awesome werenít they? You got to claim you were associated with the most dominant group wrestling has ever seen. And hell, with each of our successes, you by association looked like a success. People began to believe you were a star again, even though you were far from it. Clearly from just associating with us TLS you had the opportunity to finish your career on a high note! If only you had stuck with us when GCWA closes in just a matter of a few days, the fans might have been fooled into thinking you successfully revived your career in those final months.
You fucking blew it though. I almost in a sense understand what you did. You donít want false success, you donít want hand-me-down glory, you want to earn it on your own. Thatís why you want our tag titles, you want to say you went up against two of the baddest muthafuckas in GCWA and took them down. Well TLS, itís not going to happen. Your just a boy scout still trying to earn your knot tying badge. Weíre the god damn fucking marines, the few, the proud, the NFB! Weíre an Islamic state preparing to execute you for being such a flagrant faggot. This is the final GCWA show, your final moment in the spot light, and still it makes me smile, it almost makes me laugh, because the only reason your in that spotlight is because you are up against us, which means the only reason you are in this spotlight is BECAUSE of us. So enjoy the spotlight. I suggest standing on the turnbuckles and raising your fists to the ceiling. Savor it. ENJOY it. EX-FUCKING-IERENCE it! Cause when the lights dim and our theme song plays, when we walk down that aisle, and when I decide Iím done playing and get down to getting PAID IN FULL, the spot light will dim, and you will be in darkness. You and your career will be in that black hole from which nothing comes back. Then, not only will your soul be lost, but your career will be as well.
Wayne Gretzky: So, I guess we should now get down to business!
The Great One: Yes business, after all thatís what I assume we came all this way for. Tell us why you need us?
Wayne Gretzky: I need you for a smuggling operation.
Lorenzo Demarco: Shit, that doesnít sound to hard. What are we smuggling, drugs, weapons, rare albino beavers? Iím smuggling grapefruits myself!
Wayne Gretzky: Excuse me?
Lorenzo Demarco begins to snicker a little bit as The Great One nudges him in the side giving him a warning.
The Great One: Ignore him. Look, what are we smuggling?
Wayne Gretzky: A person. Bring him in!
A person? Lorenzo and The Great Oneís facial expressions change as they hear footsteps entering the room. They both turn around to see a skinny dorky looking guy with very thick glasses.
Lorenzo Demarco: Who are you?
Person: Come on Gretzky. I donít want to go to America. Itís filled with well, Americans!
Lorenzo and TGO both look at each other in utter disbelief.
The Great One: Oh, I think I already dislike this person!
TGO makes a step forward to go after the nerd, cracking his knuckles along the way, but this time it's Lorenzo who stops The Great One and brings him back to a peaceful place.
Wayne Gretzky: Trust me thatís not to hard to do. His name is Theodore Mogley.
Lorenzo Demarco: Thatís one of the gayest names Iíve ever heard.
Theodore Mogley: Oh, and Lorenzzzzoooooo is the epitome of manliness. Isn't Lorenzo a Mexican name?.
Wayne Gretzky: You guys knock it off. Youíre going to America. Youíve run afoul with officials too many times and we can no longer protect you. You are such a nuisance I rather get rid of you, but you ARE very valuable in your illegal trading of various hobby stuff.
Lorenzo Demarco: Excuse me? Did you say . . Hobby stuff?
Theodore gets a sudden aura of smugness about him as he starts to answer Lorenzo's question.
Theodore Mogley: Yes indeed, you see in this day and age, we have to find alternative products to control and make profit off of. Officials now a days are too good at tracking transactions when it has to deal with drugs, weapons, and even human products. So we have to find things they would not expect to be "dirty". Believe it or not, in both of our countries there are sub cultures who take part in . .
The Great One: Just get to the point!
Wayne Gretzky: What the babbling buffoon is trying to say is guns, drugs and human products are always on the watch for, but small things such as gaming, collector cards, and various things that some people like to call . . Miniature figures.
Lorenzo and The Great One both blink for a few seconds.
The Great One: So let me get this straight. The Canadian Mafia, is not only ran by Wayne Gretzky, but also gets itís jollies with illegal transactions that deals with sports cards and dungeon and dragons memorabilia?
Wayne Gretzky: I admit when you put it that way it sounds lame!
The Great One: IT IS LAME! God, all my illusions shattered, all my thoughts about who we were dealing with are gone!
Wayne Gretzky: I assure you we still wield great power, and can be a threat to our enemies. Look, the point is Theodore Mogley is good at what he does, but he also has done other things, I wonít discuss, that has run him afoul one too many times. He needs to get out of this country. They are watching most of my smugglers way too close right now, so Iím hoping a couple of outsiders will be able to do the job instead. You will both be paid very well upon completion of this business.
Lorenzo Demarco: I just donít understand why us!
Wayne Gretzky: Ah, something smart came out of that mouth of yours. Well, you have a PPV coming up, and it just happens to be in the place I need him to go. Yes, that would be all the way to Texas. And before you ask your next stupid question, I just canít simply fly him there, trust me heíd get picked up at the airport.
Lorenzo Demarco: Iím glad you are explaining everything, because really if this was a movie, or a poorly written attempt at a short story or something, there be a lot of plot holes that critics and cynics could exploit.
Lorenzo Demarco turns to the non existent camera and gives a wink.
The Great One: What are you talking about? Wait, never mind, I donít want to know. Look, what will the money amount be, and how do we smuggle him over the border!
Wayne Gretzky: The payments have already been transferred to your bank accounts. Donít ask how . .
Lorenzo Demarco: Possible plot hole . ..
Wayne Gretzky: Shut up! Look, Iíve already paid you! You have no choice but to accept this job. I will provide you with a new vehicle with a trunk that has a false bottom where Theodore will hide!
Theodore Mogley: Iím really going to have to do this arenít I?
Lorenzo Demarco: Cheer up man, itís not all bad. I mean America is great. I mean for one thing, itís not Canada. For another thing itís not Canada. And third, and this is most important, IT'S NOT Canada.
Wayne Gretzky: Ugh, look, you guys got your assignment, I want it carried out. Don Molson will show you to your new vehicle! Theo, I expect you to do what they say when they say it. Any final questions?
Lorenzo Demarco: You do know worldwide, more people care about basketball than they do hockey!
Wayne Gretzky: Any questions that wonít get you killed?
The Great One: Shut up Lorenzo. No, now can we get the hell out of here?!
Wayne Gretzky: Yes, Theodore, you will report to me once you arrive safely. Don Molson show them to their vehicle. .
Theodore looks gloomy at the prospect of going to America. Don Molson puts an hand over his shoulder and gives him a reassuring smile. Lorenzo and The Great One begin to walk over to Theodore.
Lorenzo Demarco: So we came all the way to Canada just for this!
The Great One: Quit your complaining, it just means we get to leave this country very soon.
Lorenzo Demarco: I do have one regret, I hear they have this dish were they take French fries and pull cheese curds and delicious brown gravy over them. I so wanted to try that.
The Great One just gives Lorenzo Demarco a glare before sighing and putting a hand on the other shoulder of Theodore Mogley.
The Great One: Lets not waste time . . Lets do this.