This was sent to me by a friend camp hosted this season. I also camp host and can appreciate the humor. We so much wish we could answer the question the way they are here:


Will my 40 foot rig fit into that campsite? Sure, can you wait a minute until I go get my camera?

I couldn’t get the rig into the space without cutting down that tree. What should I do with it? You mean the one laying next to the “No Tree Cutting” sign? Let me get a ranger to answer your question.

That outhouse smells. Really? Guess I’ll have to take down the Good Housekeeping Seal.

All of our tents won’t fit on one site, do I have to pay for another? Not if you stack them on top of one another.

How far is the lake? Do you see that water over there?

Where is the nearest ATM machine? Do you remember the town you passed thru 40 miles back on the way to this national forest?

We don’t have much gas, where is the nearest station? Right next to the ATM machine. Good luck.

When is Quiet Hours? Just for you, it’s 10 to 6 and we posted it on the bulletin board you’re standing next to.

What kind of bears do you have up here? Hopefully, the ones that eat not so smart campers.

Are there any fish in the lake? Nope, the last one was caught right before you got here.

Do the squirrels eat the nuts on those trees? You should know that.

Can we build a fire? Nope, we put that fire ring in just to hold the trash you’re probably gonna throw in it.

Why are there so many rules here? So the Rangers have a reason to write tickets

Are you the hosts? No, we dress up in these host uniforms for more exciting sex.

Hi, I’m Bubba what’s your name? I forgot; let me look at my nametag.

We’ve got a bunch of beer that we didn’t use; do you want some of it? Hmmm, let me think about that.

How do I pay for the camp site? Very large bills stuffed in the host’s pockets and don’t worry about the rules. Want a beer?

Never been a camp host, but working in Yellowstone National Park for this past summer, I could fill a few pages with Not-So-Smart Questions we've been asked by what we call Tourons (Tourist + Moron)

Asked during the early Spring when all the Bison were dropping their winter coats and they look quite mangy "When does the groomer come in to clean up the buffalo, I wanted them to look nice for my photos?"

"Where do you put the animals at night?
We put them in a Giant Ark, but only two of each lady!

"Why dont you clean up the animal droppings left by the Bison around the park, we dont want to have to look at that!"
Then go to a Zoo, not a National Park that has Wild Animals!

"Is it frowned upon to honk at the bison when they're in front of my vehicle?
Not unless you want them to dent the door of your car when you startle them!

"Where can I pet or hold a baby bear?"
At a zoo lady, these are wild animals!

"What time do you turn on Old Faithful in the Morning?
You'll notice when the lights dim!

"Since I've already paid to enter the park, I can camp anywhere I want to along the roads or wilderness....right?"
Sure, make sure you have camp set up with a good camoflage netting so the rangers dont find you!

"Why dont you clean up all the burned trees on the hillsides?"
Why dont you do some research before entering the park to know what the Forest Service policy is on leaving the landscape natural?

"What is the Continental Divide?"
We get this one weekly from Americans! Last time someone asked it, I heard a foriengern start laughing behind them. When I laughed, the woman said "We dont have internet for me to learn these things. (This woman was in her older years, so I'm guessing they didnt teach things like this back in school)

This was told to us by a Park Ranger when we were all sitting around swapping stories.

"As I was giving a Ranger Talk about the Old Faithful Geyser on the boardwalk, an Asian family pulled up in their rental car, rolled down the window and asked where a certain geyser was. With my jaw dropped, I scolded them for driving their vehicle onto the boardwalk and told them they werent allowed to do this.

They then proceeded to get out of the car, lock the door and all start walking down the boardwalk leaving the car parked right in front of Old Faithful!" :blink:

This is one of my favorite ones to tell people as it was my favorite one to hear.

The following have been told to us by a ranger that lives near us. Questions asked by campers (obviously city-folk):

There's so much dirt around the campsite, can't you clean it up (dirt - not trash!)
Those trees are in my way, will you cut them down?
Will you make sure the deer come by our campsite?
Will you make sure the bears stay away from our campsite?
The lake (reservoir) isn't very full right now, when will you be filling it up?

I have a real good friend that he and his wife are going to be camp hosting at the Fort Sam Houston Recreation Area at Canyon Lake, near San Antonio, this winter.

They have served as camp hosts previously at both Clinton Lake State Park, near Lawrence Kansas and at the Rock Creek campground at Perry Lake, which is about 15 miles northwest of Lawrence.

I am sure that I will get a lot of feed back from them regarding some of the silly questions and comments and assorted antics performed by the guests staying there.

They have been on a lengthy 4 month long trip up through the northwest and then down through the northern California area, then over to the Las Vegas vicinity.
They are currently in the Williams AZ area and are departed for the San Antonio area in a few days.

Larry

Betsy and I did the Camp Host bit for 4 seasons, 1 in the Ocala NF, 2 in the Boise NF and 1 at a commercial CG. Don't get me started on the Tourons and their stupidity, or worse yet, the stupidity of the National Forest personnel. They hire you, give you a class in what the rules are and how you are to enforce them, give you handouts spelling out the rules for the Tourons, then refuse to back you up when you do what they told you to do. That is what ran us out of the workamping field, not so much the Tourons.

That would be very disturbing if they did not follow through with firm but fair enforcement of their own policies. Those conditions would drive anyone away.

I'd imagine that you have seen and heard some real oscar winning situations and comments or excuses.

Larry

As a Park Steward in Yosemite, I have been asked " At what time do you shut off the water to Bridal Veil Falls?"

Here ya go Jay. I have your answer to those questions:

Depends... If it is a clear night with a full moon, we leave it on all night long, otherwise we turn it off 1 hour after sunset.

Killah Mike!

That's good, I will use it!

"work camping"

I don't get it?? :(

What about it don't you understand ?

Larry

looks like an oxy-moron to me :lol: :lol:

It sorta is but an awful lot of folks do that, in order to offset their living expenses.

I am one of those "working campers". :lol:

I can relate. I am workin whether I am camping or not.
She sees to that real proper........... :P :P :P

This is another fun thread. I can see myself work camping someday as I rarely like to sit still... at least during the day! :lol:

I am the camp host here where I live. ;) B)

I have two real good friends that work as campground hosts. They are currently out at Perry Lake at a big COE campground.
They spent last winter at Canyon Lake just north of San Antonio. No idea where they will spend this coming winter, but I am sure it will be in a warmer climate than around here in NE Kansas.
They really seem to enjoy it.

I was just in your next of the woods a few weeks ago. One of the COE camp grounds near Clinton. Visited Lawerence a couple times. I bet it cost alot of money to put all those Jayhawk banners on all the poles in town. :)

I am the camp host and grounds manager here at the World Famous Big Rock Candy Mountain Resort.

I live here 12 months of the year. I manage the motel during the winter which we keep open for weary travelers and for when folks get caught traveling in a bad winter storm.


This was Feb 20th 2010, what an awesome place to spend the winter.

Yes they have several campgrounds around the Clinton Lake area, plus several more around the nearby Perry Lake area. Have a good friend and his wife that has been serving as camp hosts at Rock Creek Campground on Perry Lake this past season. They are leaving in 3 or 4 weeks and heading back to winter in Florida.

Lawrence is a very sports minded community and like you mentioned they will spend a small fortune to boost the hype surrounding the ball teams. So the banners are just one of many similar enthusiasim boosters. They can't hardly pay the professors or upgrade the classrooms, but they can buy all those Jayhawk banners........... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :P