Member No.: 249
Joined: 26-January 12
Here's a humourous one-shot I wrote around a year ago on BZPower. I'm just here to share it with you guys.
ZYGLAK AND FROSTELUS
You see, on Spherus Magna, there is a rather nice restaurant. Friends and family normally meet there for lunch or other discussions. Some of the shady characters also meet here to make deals. Anything that involves meeting or food can be done here, but I think I'm rambling, so we'll get to the point.
Our story begins on a sunny, well sort of sunny, for there are lots of clouds out too, Saturday afternoon. People were laughing, eating and getting drunk on madu wine. That was when a foul-smelling creature entered through the door, causing everybody to look at it in shock and disgust. It was a Frostelus, one of the few rahi that are intelligent enough to be counted as sapient creatures. Many even believe they can speak matoran, which was proven when it spoke.
"Ragahragahpoomba!" it roared.
All the patrons scattered, screaming like whiny little girls and rushing around. They crashed into each other a few times, before trying to scramble out the door. They failed miserably, and ended up in the large tangle only centimeters away from the exit.
The Frostelus ignored them, and walked towards one of the 'FOR THE EXTRA LARGE SPECIES OF SPHERUS MAGNA AND THE MATORAN UNIVERSE ROBOT' tables, and plonked, yes, plonked, itself down onto one of the two chairs that orbited the round table that looked liked it was pockmarked with craters. The chairs were also round.
"What would you like to eat sir?" a random Matoran waiter asked, popping out of nowhere, ending up right in front of the rahi. Why he did not run from the fearsome beast, or be affected by the smell, no-one will know, for all the witnesses to the event, who were still tangled up in a pile, began suffering from Crackius Plasticius, a disease which caused their limbs to start cracking, causing them to throw themselves into a smelting pit so they can be made into cheap Transformers toys.
"Ragahpoombanoombakirhda," the Frostelus replied.
"No sir, we do not have any Roast Stone Apes," the waiter replied apologetically.
"RAGAHPOOMBANOOMBAKIRHDAKALLINKADEJEH!" it roared, jumping to its feer, I mean feet, and slammed its four hands onto the table.
"Yes I know, it is rather unfortunate that they do not have that. I am quite a fan of its rather tender flesh. But I do recommend Roast Toa of Fire Flesh or Roast Toa of Water Flesh. It is actually quite delicious. The Fire variety of Toa Flesh is a rather spicy food, very good for Mexican-themed parties. The Water variety is exquisite. It is a mouth-watering meal, and is very juicy."
The Frostelus, which we shall now bestow the name of Fred on it, was rather interested by the Toa flesh. He thought over it in his head, thinking of which meal to pick. Finally, after several long and exciting seconds, he chose.
"Ragahpoombanoombakirihdakallinka," Fred said (Hey! That rhymes!) happily.
The waiter nodded, before heading towards the kitchens in the back of the restaurant, and began conversing with the chef. The chef chuckled, and went to the storerooms to get two Toa, one of the element of fire, and the other of water. He threw them both into separate pots, and began to cook.
Back at the dining area of the restaurant, the original patrons who had screamed, and who will be affected by Crackius Plasticius in the near future, screamed again, for a zyglak, a sapient species of the Matoran Universe that is racially discriminated and called a rahi by matoran, then entered the store. It kicked one of the matoran in the pile, before walking towards one the 'FOR THE EXTRA LARGE SPECIES OF SPHERUS MAGNA AND THE MATORAN UNIVERSE ROBOT' tables, the one that Fred was at, and plonked himself down onto the other chair.
"Greetings fine chap!" Fred said happily, looking up at the zyglak. "What brings you to this corner of the Matoran infestation?"
"Well I'm hungry," the zyglak replied.
"Well the waiter recommended one of the Roast Toa elemental varieties!" the Frostelus said to the zyglak. "They're supposed to be exquisite! A perfect way to dish out revenge against Mata Nui, who was the universe we lived in until he was kicked out of the body!"
"Really?" The zyglak's 'Attention-O-Meter' went up. He liked dishing out revenge against Mata Nui.
"Of course!" Fred replied. "But anyways, what's your name?"
Before the zyglak could answer the waiter returned with the Roast Toa, and put the dishes on the Frostelus' side of the table, before turning to the aforementioned zyglak.
"What would you like sir?" he asked.
"Same as him," the zyglak replied, pointing to Fred.
The waiter nodded, before entering the kitchens and asking the chef for Roast Toa. The zyglak watched interestedly at the conversation taking place behind the closed doors of the kitchen, but soon got bored, and resumed talking to the frostelus sitting opposite him.
"My name is Zy," he said.
"Isn't that a bit feminine sounding?"
"No. It's actually a Zyglakian word that insults Mata Nui, badly."
"Nice. Your parents must be rather creative."
After they continued conversing with each other on what was the best way to insult Mata Nui, the waiter returned again with two plates of Roast Toa, this time for Zy. He hungrily tore through the flesh of the meal, finishing it in record time. Fred merely watched, tenderly chewing on his Toa flesh.
"It isn't manly to eat tenderly," the zyglak pointed out.
"No, it insults Mata Nui more because I can savour it for longer, therefore making the insult rather long," the Frostelus replied.
"That's a rather good point."
"Well let us enjoy our meals first, before insulting him again. Agreed?"