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 The Order of the Saikus review topic
Letoki
Posted: Jun 12 2011, 01:03 PM


The guy who can't think of a member title


Group: Members
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Member No.: 175
Joined: 10-May 11



Please post all comments and constructive criticism here.
Takal
Posted: Jun 12 2011, 04:15 PM


Toa of Thunder


Group: Global Moderators
Posts: 1,709
Member No.: 11
Joined: 22-July 09



Nice work, Letoki. You've certainly got the hang of this quicky. Faster than I did, at any rate. I'll be keeping an eye on this.

However, one small issue I did notice was that the section at the end (so as to prevent spoilers) should be edited so that either the dagger is pluralised or rework those sentences so it doesn't seem like one dagger possibly through three people.
Toa Yurikk
Posted: Jun 12 2011, 04:48 PM


Toa of destiny!


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Very good work. Can't wait to find out what happens next.
Letoki
Posted: Jun 12 2011, 07:04 PM


The guy who can't think of a member title


Group: Members
Posts: 97
Member No.: 175
Joined: 10-May 11



QUOTE (Takal @ Jun 12 2011, 04:15 PM)
Nice work, Letoki. You've certainly got the hang of this quicky. Faster than I did, at any rate. I'll be keeping an eye on this.

However, one small issue I did notice was that the section at the end (so as to prevent spoilers) should be edited so that either the dagger is pluralised or rework those sentences so it doesn't seem like one dagger possibly through three people.

Oh, yeah, I'll go and fix that.
Thank you for the comments!
comicboy15
Posted: Jun 12 2011, 07:25 PM


Toa of Psychics


Group: Members
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Woah. And I mean woah. This story has so much potential and strong characters and interesting concepts and... woah! This story is seriously boss. It's written exceedingly well for a first time, and I mean that. I like the way that the story seems to be rotating around one thing, but also has a different theme. This is one to watch. And I really mean that. Your story is as good as your comics, that's for sure.
Letoki
Posted: Jun 12 2011, 07:28 PM


The guy who can't think of a member title


Group: Members
Posts: 97
Member No.: 175
Joined: 10-May 11



QUOTE (comicboy15 @ Jun 12 2011, 07:25 PM)
Woah. And I mean woah. This story has so much potential and strong characters and interesting concepts and... woah! This story is seriously boss. It's written exceedingly well for a first time, and I mean that. I like the way that the story seems to be rotating around one thing, but also has a different theme. This is one to watch. And I really mean that. Your story is as good as your comics, that's for sure.

Thanks! I'm already starting on chapter 2.
comicboy15
Posted: Jun 13 2011, 01:04 PM


Toa of Psychics


Group: Members
Posts: 86
Member No.: 179
Joined: 19-May 11



Chapter 2 is grrrreat! I like how this story isn't being told in large chunks, but smaller morsels. I also didn't think that the Saikus were matoran. I thought they were some kind of toa/titan breed. But the fact that they can kill toa and still be matoran makes them even more boss.
Toa Yurikk
Posted: Jun 13 2011, 04:46 PM


Toa of destiny!


Group: Members
Posts: 693
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Joined: 10-September 10



This story is getting great quickly, keep it up.
Letoki
Posted: Jun 13 2011, 07:01 PM


The guy who can't think of a member title


Group: Members
Posts: 97
Member No.: 175
Joined: 10-May 11



QUOTE (comicboy15 @ Jun 13 2011, 01:04 PM)
Chapter 2 is grrrreat! I like how this story isn't being told in large chunks, but smaller morsels. I also didn't think that the Saikus were matoran. I thought they were some kind of toa/titan breed. But the fact that they can kill toa and still be matoran makes them even more boss.

Yeah, I'm probobly going to write smaller chapters in a shorter amount of time instead of one big chapter in a long amount of time, if you know what I mean.
comicboy15
Posted: Jun 13 2011, 10:36 PM


Toa of Psychics


Group: Members
Posts: 86
Member No.: 179
Joined: 19-May 11



QUOTE (Letoki @ Jun 13 2011, 07:01 PM)
QUOTE (comicboy15 @ Jun 13 2011, 01:04 PM)
Chapter 2 is grrrreat! I like how this story isn't being told in large chunks, but smaller morsels. I also didn't think that the Saikus were matoran. I thought they were some kind of toa/titan breed. But the fact that they can kill toa and still be matoran makes them even more boss.

Yeah, I'm probobly going to write smaller chapters in a shorter amount of time instead of one big chapter in a long amount of time, if you know what I mean.

Wi monsieur. It's taken me a while to get back into the grove on my own story, but I did.
Kokua aviatrix
Posted: Jul 24 2011, 12:40 PM


Toa Nuva


Group: Global Moderators
Posts: 1,887
Member No.: 2
Joined: 30-June 09



Have throughly enjoyed the first two chapters and definetly looking forward to the rest smile.gif
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