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Pages: (3) [1] 2 3  ( Go to first unread post )

 Toa Yurikk's review thread, Post what you think of my stories!
Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 22 2010, 11:09 PM


Toa of destiny!


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I guess since everybody has one of these I'll start my own. smile.gif

Here is the place where you can comment on stories that I've posted! cool.gif
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Takal
Posted: Dec 27 2010, 11:16 PM


Toa of Thunder


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Good start, Yurikk. I'm already interested to see how this is gonna pan out. I've still got a few unanswered questions as to who has what element, but as this is the first section, I'm sure that'll be resolved.

And by the way, it's wind-up or clockwork, not wined-up. 'Wined-up' usually means 'drunk.'


This post has been edited by Takal on Dec 27 2010, 11:19 PM
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 27 2010, 11:19 PM


Toa of destiny!


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Yeah lol I'll fix that. laugh.gif Yurikk is Po (Stone) and Tassten is Ta (Fire). wink.gif
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Takal
Posted: Dec 27 2010, 11:23 PM


Toa of Thunder


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I was more interested in Paho, but that's probbably going to come in handy, too.
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 27 2010, 11:33 PM


Toa of destiny!


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Paho is stone and wears a Kanohi Akaku. wink.gif

EDIT: Did you see where I typed 'Yurikk said under my breathe' in the first post? Epic fail. laugh.gif

This post has been edited by Toa Yurikk on Dec 27 2010, 11:35 PM
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Takal
Posted: Dec 27 2010, 11:38 PM


Toa of Thunder


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Going from third person to first person in your first post is never a good start. Nor's misspelling 'breath.'
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 27 2010, 11:46 PM


Toa of destiny!


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I decided to go with third person because its added alot of extra story I can tell. wink.gif
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Takal
Posted: Dec 27 2010, 11:54 PM


Toa of Thunder


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I know. It means I had to limit what I could tell in "Thunder," so I did have to add in a lot more for Takal to get up to. Nuara's still going to need a seperate story of her own, though. That gap was just too big to seal with further Takal-related incidents.
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 12:02 AM


Toa of destiny!


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Oh yeah I'm reading thunder its great. How do you write so fast anyway!?!
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Takal
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 12:11 AM


Toa of Thunder


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I don't: It takes me about three hours a post. The Xia bit took four/
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 12:12 AM


Toa of destiny!


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Thats my problem, I only write for like ten minutes a day. I guess thats a start though.
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Takal
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 12:15 AM


Toa of Thunder


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Yeah, I used to do that in "Takal." Now that it's come full circle...
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Solek-Toa of Shadows
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 09:58 PM


Toa of Shadows


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I thinks It's good so far, though I suggest that instead of having Yurikk have a nonexistent element, go with stone or plasma, Yurikk looks more of a plasma wielding Toa.

This post has been edited by Solek-Toa of Shadows on Dec 28 2010, 09:59 PM
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 10:18 PM


Toa of destiny!


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Hes a Matoran. wink.gif And hes stone. wink.gif
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Solek-Toa of Shadows
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 10:21 PM


Toa of Shadows


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I'm talking about when he's turned into a Toa, and your self MoC is Toa of destiny, which means that he probably would turn into a Toa.
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 28 2010, 10:31 PM


Toa of destiny!


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You'll have to wait and see. biggrin.gif
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 29 2010, 06:40 PM


Toa of destiny!


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A new part of my story is out!!! smile.gif laugh.gif smile.gif
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Solek-Toa of Shadows
Posted: Dec 29 2010, 06:54 PM


Toa of Shadows


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That last part was hilarious! But is this an epic or comedy?
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 29 2010, 06:56 PM


Toa of destiny!


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Its not a comedy, I didn't realize it was that funny. laugh.gif Its a short story. wink.gif
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Takal
Posted: Dec 29 2010, 07:08 PM


Toa of Thunder


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So you don't understand the difference between a 'short story' and an 'epic?'

A short story is a one-post piece of writing, no matter how long it is. For instance, 'Takal' was a short story, and even though it was short, 'Through the Eyes of a Matoran is an epic.

An epic is a multi-post story, no matter how short the posts are. Your story is already an epic, despite its relative shortness.


This post has been edited by Takal on Dec 29 2010, 07:08 PM
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Dec 29 2010, 07:19 PM


Toa of destiny!


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Oh, well I guess its an epic then. biggrin.gif
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Jan 3 2011, 09:48 PM


Toa of destiny!


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I just posted a new part of "Where it all started..." check it out! smile.gif
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Solek-Toa of Shadows
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 03:07 AM


Toa of Shadows


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I don't know, it's, a little, not packed.
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 03:57 AM


Toa of destiny!


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What does that mean?
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Solek-Toa of Shadows
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 04:06 AM


Toa of Shadows


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meaning that theres not enough info, or action, or details, ect, etc.
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 04:42 AM


Toa of destiny!


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This is very old writing, I'm already at page thirteen, so it gets better, I hope you like my newer stuff more.
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 06:40 AM


Toa of destiny!


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I don't see what this has to do with my story, can you please remove your post.
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Takal
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 07:49 AM


Toa of Thunder


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Not a fan of prophecies myself, but this one was certainly delivered... differently from the BIONICLE norm. Particularly liked descriptions of Taasen's disgust.
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Toa Yurikk
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 05:45 PM


Toa of destiny!


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Thank you!

I found it very fun describing the room, I'm usually a comedy writer so I always try to add humor. happy.gif

I don't really prophecies either, but I decided to go with something deferent. smile.gif
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Takal
Posted: Jan 4 2011, 07:18 PM


Toa of Thunder


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I used to do comedic bits, but I've limited that, too. (saved it for the MOCs)
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