Member No.: 592
Joined: 30-October 11
And it feels like jealousy
And it feels like I can't breathe .
HEY THERE. THE NAME IS JAMIE
, AND I AM NINETEEN
. I'VE BEEN ROLEPLAYING FOR ABOUTTHREE YEARS
AND MY OTHER CHARACTERS WOULD BE NONE NOW/AT THE MOMENT
. I FOUND FKAC AT AT THE RP DIRECTORY
. OH, BY THE WAY, I READ THE RULES. WANT PROOF?
THE CODE WORD IS FRENCH REVOLUTION
WANT TO REACH ME? HERE'S MY IM: PM FOR MSN (IT'S AN EMBRASSING ADDRESS LOL)
- - - - Full Name, Jerome Dudley
- - - - Title, Sir
- - - - Gender, Male
- - - - Sexuality, Homosexual
- - - - Age, Twenty-two- - - - Place at Court, Knighted courtier
- - - - PB (Play-By), Max Irons
- - - - Loves,
-A good feast and party
-The idea of being a genteel man, worthy of a good name
-Similarly, he likes the idea of being the better of John
- His brothers, even if he is more drawn to Andrew than he would like at times
- Fine clothing, especially when these are new articles
-Places of luxury, especially palaces and the like
- - - - Loathes,
-Waking up drunk or being able to remember the previous night’s misadventures
-How difficult it is to live up to John’s example
-His former image as being a drunken, idiotic reprobate, and the fact that image is not entirely far from the truth in his present deeds or in the opinion of others
-The fact he has a relatively strong sense of what it is to be responsible, and knowing how far he is from that at times
-The mention of his father
-Nags from his mother or brother (or priest for that matter), especially if it involves ‘wasted potential’
-Ugliness, especially if that has been a result of gluttony
- - - - Strengths,
- Intelligent, especially with numbers and economic matters
- Creates very pretty verses when in the mood
-Not foolishly ambitious
-Can be charming
-Handsomeness, both in person and dress
- - - - Weaknesses,
-Proud – which often leads to jealousy
-Wilful, especially when drunk (which is more often than he would like)
-Capable of boyishness and disobedience, something which often got him into trouble as an actual boy
-Alcohol (he’s a light weight)
-Incredibly smelly feet
- - - - Dreams,
- Outdoing his brother, John
-Becoming the primary Dudley
-Writing poetry which will last for centuries after his death
- - - - Fears,
-Reaching old age in his current frame of mind
-Never really achieving anything, and always being second rate to his oldest brother
-Executions and any form of physical harm
- - - - Overall Personality,
To many he is a watered down version of what his brother Andrew was. To himself, he is uncomfortably the medium between his brother Andrew’s unruly behaviour and his brother John’s respectability. Jerome is both able to see the merits of being good and respectable, as is John, and often aspires to be like that, but is all too easily drawn to excess, grandeur and drunkenness, as well as being naughty and irritating to those around him. Yet he finds this very difficult indeed, and the spot he operates in the middle of these two extremes often leads him to feeling guilty, useless and base when he has a prolonged period of drunkenness and misbehaviour. His efforts to be ‘good’ are always doomed to end somewhere, leading to a period of misbehaviour, and once that subsides he feels incredibly useless and miserable with himself.
In the first mood, his ‘good’ periods, Jerome is very responsible. It is in these moods he gets on most well with his brother John. His main occupation in these is to develop his poetry, which is his main outlet and his main hope for outdoing John. A talented writer who is able to pen pretty verses, he also has a love for reading what others have written, and to compare it with his own work (though he is naturally inclined to prize his own compositions more highly than any others). He is entirely sober and curtails any sexual experiences. His attendance at church is always guaranteed.
The second mood, his ‘bad’ periods’, fluctuate in length but give him an inescapable outlet for the restraint he imposes on himself in the first one. Sometimes they last a few days, others much longer. These periods are characterised by drunkenness, idiocy and a complete disregard for usual social conventions and propriety. Jerome is generally an embarrassment, and much too like his brother Andrew. The other very large component in these periods is an indulgence in his homosexuality – sexual, drunken orgies are not unknown to him, though rare.
Lastly, the third period is one which is ultimately distressing for him. Jerome largely in these periods rejects all company bar one person’s after a long period of indulgence, and merely thinks of how badly he has behaved. He is morose, unpleasant and sullen. As well as suffering no physical company, he also answers no letters and generally makes a recluse of himself at his former home. It is in these lowest moods that he is most boyish, and also the only times he is ever keen for the company of his mother, whom he is inseparable from.
Overriding traits, however, come in the form of his cowardice and narcissism. Both are linked – he is not so much afraid of death, though that is part of it, as that he is afraid of losing his handsome face, and in particular his teeth. Jerome loves to be dressed well, have his hair in perfect order, and to live in the luxury he believes he is owed. It is also the case he is very arrogant in this, thinking himself the most handsome Dudley brother as well as the most naturally intelligent. This pride, however, often inspires great jealousy in him, which is usually directed towards his brother John.
It is also the case that he is what many would consider a weak man. His constant fluctuation in spirits mark him as inconsistent and unreliable, and he is effeminate in that he is often clingy, forms attachments like a child would, and is only really a man in years than personality. Jerome is very boyish, finding the most silly things amusing, giggling when everyone else thinks it is decidedly unfunny and having a rather childish sense of humour.
Jerome, though, bar his third mood, is generally an affable, charming and confident young man. He is not bad tempered and nor is he critical. Overall, he is sometimes repulsed by himself, but is a young and welcoming man, who likes to have fun and to be wild, but is capable of maturity when he makes the effort.
- - - - Family Members,Edmund Dudley, father, deceased
Elizabeth Grey, mother
Elizabeth Stourton, half sister
John Dudley, oldest brother
Catherine Dudley, sister in law
Andrew Dudley, youngest older brother
- - - - Overall History,
Put quite simply, Jerome was a wretched child. Disobedient, lazy and provocative, he was incredibly naughty. His style of fun was very much similar to that of his brother Andrew’s and, even if that brother was perhaps the worse of the two, the youngest was a sufficient black sheep in his own right. In particular, he enjoyed to aggravate his mother by incessantly being rude and irritating, purposely placing himself in her company so that he could be an annoyance. Whilst not malicious, he was certainly an irritant, and found that hilarious to no end (apart from when he had his punishments from his father, which he was sure gave him a sore bottom for a week).
His natural mischievousness only increased in his later childhood, when he was more intelligent and, in all honesty, worse than he was before. Some differences did occur, though. His teasing of his mother found a more satisfying outlet in teasing his two older brothers, even if they were more likely to tease him, especially on the part of Andrew. Another terribly fun game in his opinion was to play tricks and pranks on his tutor, which was especially bothersome to the old man because Jerome was fully aware of how infuriating he found it that he was not a dunce, and actually had a solid base to be educated upon.
Yet he had an incredibly happy childhood. Whether or not it was good in terms of future development he does not enjoy thinking of, but living it was the best thing he could imagine. Being allowed to do what he liked, his father having a suspicious amount of money which led to him being well treated in clothes and toys... Jerome would not change his misbehaviour either. He still stands by the assertion that to be a quiet and obedient boy would have ruined his earliest years, and that even if he admires at times the responsibility of John, he is all too much aware of how fun it is to be naughty and to misbehave.
Relationships with his family in this year were essential, and have essentially stayed the same. He respected John as being ‘good’, but also envied him entirely. As the eldest son, it always seemed to Jerome that he had a special aura about him (though he still has no idea whether or not this was the case). Andrew was his best friend, his partner in crime and the one he felt most similar to. A sense of understanding seemed to be present between the two boys, and Jerome is confident it is still strong now that they are both men (in age, at least). His father was never a particularly strong presence, and the only presence he has left behind is embarrassment. Being away at court frequently, he seldom knew his father and was always wary of the man (largely because his naughty behaviour generally prompted physical punishment). Lastly, his mother was never a favourite of his, and he is sure he never was, and still is, no favourite of hers. Jerome is of the opinion his teasing is still a source of annoyance to her. But he is most displeased with her because of the nagging. Finding her youngest to be intelligent, charming when inclined to be so, and, then, destined to probably handsomeness, her expectations were higher than he liked. They did not settle well with an emerging sense of ambition and self reflection, and so her nags centred around his various talents and potential had always been a most perturbing display.
His personality largely developed when he reached his late teens. Not arriving at court then as John did, he was left largely to discover himself in his own home. Whilst Andrew appeared to be just as wild as ever, Jerome became slightly more contemplative. He began to understand more fully the merits of being genteel and good, as John was, and how foolish it would be to be a man over thirty still like Andrew. It would be tragic, even. He was also at this time struck with a sense that he owed it to himself to be something other than the baby brother of the Dudley clan, and that he was moreover talented enough to do something about it. Becoming increasingly aware that he was gifted with poetry, as well as with numbers, he had even more reason to be confident, arrogant even, that he would outdo John entirely.
Yet his sense of responsibility was deeply flawed. Unfocused and inconsistent, his determination to outdo his brother was limited to weekly cycles before he continued on his path of being irresponsible and bad. His mother most aptly told him once that he behaved mainly like a young, drunken reprobate on most days of the year, which was made all the worst because he was capable of knowing better. Jerome rather resented that image, even if his attempts afterwards to clean his image were always destined to failure. Even his great love, poetry, suffered, and still does, when in his regular mood of letting go, drinking and indulging in desires.
Besides growing from a naughty child to a dubious excuse for a man, his masculinity was even more tested by various developments in this time. Becoming arrogant at his intelligence, he was also highly narcissistic. At an age when he could appreciate fully just how handsome he had become, he became obsessed with dressing nicely, having nice hair and above all was self admiring of his faultless, and fortunate, teeth. This led, however, to an increasing cowardice. Frightened of losing or damaging his handsomeness, Jerome quickly grew to dread any thought of warfare or battling.
Of course, the most distressing development in this time of his history was his realisation he had no natural passion for women. Feeling very embarrassed and base for a long time, it took a considerable amount of time for him to accept it, even if he is still eternally thankful he is not effeminate and that it is impossible to detect. The social stigma attached is something he has always found perturbing. Yet this homosexuality led him to indulge more in wilful behaviour, even if was is repentant and checked them for a while afterwards. Naturally, he is also very keen, and always has been, to keep his sexuality secret from everyone, including his brothers. In short, he was very keen to assert this sexuality when he became used to it and when in the company of like minded individuals, and added to what many would consider, should they know of his escapdes, an already disturbing sexuality with other fetishes.
Overall, whilst Jerome was able to maintain his position as being the better of the two ‘bad’ brothers, this was by no means a consistent thing and he was more than capable of being deviant, unruly and drunken. The only saving grace he had was that he could be responsible, and did make attempts to change his ways. Yet it was also true that whilst Andrew seemed the most explicitly bad, and on the most consistent of bases, when misbehaving Jerome had the opinion that he must have went to the most base and depraved of depths.
Jerome’s cowardice was solidified with the execution of his father. From then a regular source of embarrassment, the keenest effect of his father’s demise was that he was then terrified of the sort of life he had been born into. Whilst he had never really known his father, he had always been of the opinion he was a respected, prominent and straight man. Therefore, to see him not only imprisoned, but executed, came as an awful shock, and one which was to confirm his opinion that it was best to stay out of physical danger to the best of one’s ability.
Of course, this vow was broken when, after being Knighted, his most recent history saw him being coaxed into going to Scotland via his mother’s nagging. Obviously reluctant, his first attempt to avoid going was to purposely take a tumble from his horse, resulting in a (much appreciated) broken rib. Bedbound for a month, and then on crutches for the next week, Jerome was confident that he would not be seeing any form of action, much to his mother’s annoyance. It seemed she, much to his annoyance in turn, was not stupid enough to think he had broken his rib from any accidental means.
Nevertheless, with great glee, his mother sent him packing off to Scotland for the last part of the campaign there. Jerome did no good there, continuously based in the physician’s tent for a variety of invented ‘injuries’ (sprained ankle, sprained fingers, a severe bad back, severe ear ache which he insisted was something more and so on). Naturally, though, his fellow knights at Scotland did not take kindly to his cowardice, or to the fact he could often be seen crying and whining to go home on false insistences that his rib was not fully healed, and made the fortnight he stayed there as torturous as possible. Firstly, he was tripped up into mud on a daily basis, and then into manure when it was available. Secondly, he was tarred and feathered, naked, one night, albeit with honey instead of tar. The final and third trick played on him was to shave off his prized hair completely one night, leaving his head as smooth as his face.
Returning stinky and bald, Jerome had been humiliated in all entirety. Yet his bitterness was soon alleviated with the information that he would soon be coming to court. As a recent development, Jerome is taking to it as he has took to everything. Some weeks see him as a straight, sober and studious young man, others see him as the drunken idiot. But his determination to outdo John continues and, mostly, is his biggest goal at court.
- - - - Roleplay Sample, I hope this is ok, but it is my post as George from a very long time ago when I used to be on site
A ghastly few hours lay ahead of him he mused, as he lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. Of course, being in bed was not his usual conduct for the early afternoon, but he was hardly going to stroll around in the nude for any servant to come in and catch him. He had decided to stay in bed for numerous reasons that day. The first was the more obvious one – he was far too lazy to get up and had no intention to. He failed to see why he should make the effort for a woman he loathed regardless of their imminent closeness. The idea of sleeping in the same bed repulsed him completely, as did the idea of actually performing the task he knew was expected of him by his father. If it was his choice he would have never even spoken to her more than once, yet it seemed his father believed that Joan Parker would make an amiable wife, and he liked the match despite his son’s protests. He could sense that his Uncle must have been behind it as well since he doubted his father would marry him off without even consulting the Duke. He exercised far too much power over the Boleyns for that.
But the meeting between the two of them which would take place that day was hardly one which energized him, which was why he was still languishing in his bed mere minutes before he expected her to arrive. They were set to discuss plans for the wedding that his father had given to him, and the closeness of the actual event itself startled him. Plans were in motion to organise the church, parties afterwards, his clothing for the event... It seemed that very little was left to do, and he was growing more and more worried about it. Soon, Joan Parker would be Joan Boleyn and would be expected to attend family feasts and gatherings as an integral part of it. His hopes were that she would swiftly die in childbirth which was why he would get her pregnant as soon as possible he decided. The less amount of time he spent as her husband the better, and if she died before the wedding could take place he would be even more pleased.
After a few more moments, George’s bare feet reached for the ground and he rose devoid of all clothing. That had been another reason why he had not bothered to dress for the occasion. It was meant to make a mockery of the whole thing, and to embarrass her. He had no intention of being sensible in matters which should have been considered very seriously, and wanted to display that proudly. As proud as he was of his own physique at any rate, which he was immensely. Striding to a nearby mirror, he assessed his appearance and gave a smug grin to himself, rather pettily. It then struck him that perhaps his lack of an attire would make her feel so uncomfortable she would clear off within a moment which would be a bit of good luck on his part. The less time he spent with Joan the better in the delicate stage of supposedly being loving fiancés, when his temper was bound to flare up at unexpected times. Especially when around her anyway.
The eldest Boleyn made his way towards the table, and sat down at one end, a wooden chair on the other awaiting for its owner. The wood on his own felt weird on his bare back and behind. Still, a pair of leather trousers were on the bed in case she did stay, since he would preserve his modesty somewhat. The joke would grow old after the immediate reaction of her seeing him in the nude, and he didn’t want to treat her eyes too much. As soon as he heard footsteps outside the door, George stood up sharply. “Come in” he said sharply, regardless of who it was. But he did fully expect for it to be Joan, based on the time she was supposed to be there.